Alternative for Speech Tag's Suggestion

[knight]

Said: I'm really beginning to hate this word! Using it to much lacks a good vocabulary/knowledge of other phrases to use.

Example:

"Uh no….you weren't, he was here until Joe opened his big mouth." Rick said.

"He was here…now he's gone again." Phil said. "Good going Joe, brilliant he's here ten minutes, you open your mouth and swoosh he's gone."

"Why are you yelling at me?" Joe said.

"I'm not yelling, you are."

"Your going to have to meet in the middle with Lacey, cause from the looks of it she's here to stay." Vivian said.

"Ok fine I'll try, but I'm not making any promises." Joe said.

"Good, now go find him." Phil said.

Said, is used for every dialogue sentence.

Aside from describing a characters action while they deliver a sentence, what other speech tag's would work better than said?

Which ones does everyone avoid?

Others that are really getting boring are: replied, informed, started, told.

Thanks

knight

[Melrick]

"Ok fine I'll try, but I'm not making any promises." Joe said.

Also, that should be a comma after 'promises', not a full stop; the same with the others.

[knight]

Also, that should be a comma after 'promises', not a full stop; the same with the others.

LOL, I wouldn't doubt that at all. Probably more of those...there is more of those type of

sentense through out the story.

For some reason, my old brain cannot grasp how those work in dialogue structure. Even studied

a few website on writing better fiction and whatnot. After a while, it all blurs together and gets

more confusing.

knight

[Gnome]

Actually if you're going to use a speech tag said is the best word to use. It is invisible. It lets teh reade know who is speaking without them realising they are taking the information in. As a result it keeps them in the story. In a conversation between two people once you have established who is talking the reader can usually follow the exchange from one person to the other without reminders.

Personally I avoid all speech tags though and go in for action tags. That way you can convey emotion at the same time. Where a speech tag tells the reader who is speaking an action tag can show who they are by how they react to a situation.

For example:

"Uh no….you weren't, he was here until Joe opened his big mouth," said Rick.

"He was here…now he's gone again." Phil smashed his shot glass into the wall. "Good going Joe, brilliant he's here ten minutes, you open your mouth and swoosh he's gone."

Joe back pedalled a step. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"I'm not yelling, you are."

Vivian's eyes flicked between them like they were a particularly curious pair of alley cats. Never mind that her boyfriend might meet his guts any second. "You're going to have to meet in the middle with Lacey, cause from the looks of it she's here to stay."

"Ok fine I'll try, but I'm not making any promises," said Joe, pulling out a cigarette with trembling hands. His eyes never left Phil.

"Good, now go find him."

Joe couldn't resist flipping the finger at Phil's departing back. Even if he didn't dare do it to his face.

Ok so I took liberties with the characters. I have no idea who they are. But I gave them personality. I made Phil dangerous. Joe wary yet for some reason biddable to Phil's whims. Vivian seems to manipulate the boys for her own amusement. Why? Who knows. That's for the rest of the story to find out. I decided to make Joe the POV character and looked at the situation from his perspective, though only lightly. If this were my story I would embed myself more deeply in his psyche. Or at least the psyche of whoever the POV is.

[Peace-Love-Yaoi]

I get where you are coming from. I used to have that same problem. What helped me was a series of articles on writing written by Barry Lyga (author of The Astonishing Adventures of Fanboy and Gothgirl, Boy Toy and Hero Type). He explained a lot about dialogue that I didn't know. If you are interested here is a link to his articles.

LINK

Peace-Love-Yaoi