Do you like to keep things under the surface in the beginning or go right to the point?

[Deadman]

I’ve been playing with a story idea again, someone has to find a way to stop me, but I was doing it.

Anyway, the part of the story that I’ve been thinking about has partly a more naughty part but I have a thought about a more teasing aspect.

Basically, there are two businesses side by side. One is very adult oriented where kids can’t go. The other is more family friendly. However it’s owned by the same person and they are creating the appearance of a family friendly atmosphere. Underneath though, it’s more naughty.

The initial idea was to focus on the more adult oriented story. But I have looked at starting with the more “family friendly” part. At the moment it’s more of either the adult oriented business is chapter 1 and the “family friendly” business will be chapter 2. Or I could do the reverse.

What do you think?
 

[Desiderius Price]

I’ve heard of “bookstores” where the upstairs is a bland selection of books, but you go downstairs for the “adult” material.

Guess the question is how is the owner (or owners) want to be perceived?  Do you even start at the stores?  Or, is it from the perspective of a customer?  Which side do you want to emphasize?   Kinda a bunch of questions for how you want the story to go.

[Deadman]

3 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

I’ve heard of “bookstores” where the upstairs is a bland selection of books, but you go downstairs for the “adult” material.

Guess the question is how is the owner (or owners) want to be perceived?  Do you even start at the stores?  Or, is it from the perspective of a customer?  Which side do you want to emphasize?   Kinda a bunch of questions for how you want the story to go.

It’s more from the perspective of the employees. The initial idea was about the “downstairs book store” concept from the perspective of the employees. The employees are the main characters of the fandom. But as I was working through the “downstairs” story, I thought it might be fun to show the “upstairs” story. Both businesses are going to be staffed by the same characters.
 

[Desiderius Price]

46 minutes ago, Deadman said:

It’s more from the perspective of the employees. The initial idea was about the “downstairs book store” concept from the perspective of the employees. The employees are the main characters of the fandom. But as I was working through the “downstairs” story, I thought it might be fun to show the “upstairs” story. Both businesses are going to be staffed by the same characters.

Aw, well, more opportunities to get the wares/inventory mixed up   Maybe it starts with a kid finding something they shouldn’t have found?

“Mommy!  Mommy!  What’s this?” followed by shrieks?

If I were writing, I’d more likely start on the kid friendly side TBH.  Unless it’s horror, and start with an employee getting an anonymous threatening letter “I know where you work, you defiler.”

If you’re still undecided -- create two files, write one from the kid-friendly side to start, the other from the adult-orientated side to start.  See which one you like better as an opener.  (And you’ll have some seed material for the second chapter too.)

[Deadman]

33 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:

Aw, well, more opportunities to get the wares/inventory mixed up   Maybe it starts with a kid finding something they shouldn’t have found?

“Mommy!  Mommy!  What’s this?” followed by shrieks?

If I were writing, I’d more likely start on the kid friendly side TBH.  Unless it’s horror, and start with an employee getting an anonymous threatening letter “I know where you work, you defiler.”

If you’re still undecided -- create two files, write one from the kid-friendly side to start, the other from the adult-orientated side to start.  See which one you like better as an opener.  (And you’ll have some seed material for the second chapter too.)

Well I hadn’t necessarily considered it from that perspective, like having kids involved. I was thinking more in the sense of imagine if the owner of a more adult oriented bar acquired a family friendly restaurant and decided to turn it more into a Hooters. Not to mention have the employees of one working at the other. Keeping up the appearance of the family oriented place but not really catering to the family vibe.

It’s not that the fandom itself is family friendly, but it’s just where the story is going in my head. Both locations are canon. Yes, technically you can bring your family to a Hooters, but that’s not why most people go to the place. Especially given the scenario I’m setting up.

So my initial story revolved around the adult oriented bar. But there is fun to be had in the idea of the Hooters style restaurant. Possibly with some crossover in terms of “things on the menu”.
 

[Desiderius Price]

9 hours ago, Deadman said:

Well I hadn’t necessarily considered it from that perspective, like having kids involved. I was thinking more in the sense of imagine if the owner of a more adult oriented bar acquired a family friendly restaurant and decided to turn it more into a Hooters. Not to mention have the employees of one working at the other. Keeping up the appearance of the family oriented place but not really catering to the family vibe.

It’s not that the fandom itself is family friendly, but it’s just where the story is going in my head. Both locations are canon. Yes, technically you can bring your family to a Hooters, but that’s not why most people go to the place. Especially given the scenario I’m setting up.

So my initial story revolved around the adult oriented bar. But there is fun to be had in the idea of the Hooters style restaurant. Possibly with some crossover in terms of “things on the menu”.

“Welcome to Deadman’s Wings, enjoy some breasts with your chicken!” 

Employees (especially new hires) might get confused if they’re working both sides.  Do the two places share bathrooms—you’d have mixup opportunities there?  All sorts of options for sub-plots/issues

[Deadman]

12 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:

“Welcome to Deadman’s Wings, enjoy some breasts with your chicken!” 

Employees (especially new hires) might get confused if they’re working both sides.  Do the two places share bathrooms—you’d have mixup opportunities there?  All sorts of options for sub-plots/issues

Actually, your “upstairs/downstairs bookstore” option is a pretty good example. Basically, the family friendly to Hooters style restaurant is above ground and it has a more adult oriented space underground from a bygone era. They’re treated as separate businesses, but part of the story is that they are brought under a single owner.

[Desiderius Price]

12 minutes ago, Deadman said:

Actually, your “upstairs/downstairs bookstore” option is a pretty good example. Basically, the family friendly to Hooters style restaurant is above ground and it has a more adult oriented space underground from a bygone era. They’re treated as separate businesses, but part of the story is that they are brought under a single owner.

“Mommy, mommy, why are they asking her to take her clothes off?” the boy asked as the volume on the downstairs PA was set a little too loud. 

Could have other things, like police response to the upstairs restaurant being a bit too fast… (because they were hanging out downstairs).  Still, lots of ways to have fun with your premise.

[Deadman]

1 hour ago, Desiderius Price said:

“Mommy, mommy, why are they asking her to take her clothes off?” the boy asked as the volume on the downstairs PA was set a little too loud. 

Could have other things, like police response to the upstairs restaurant being a bit too fast… (because they were hanging out downstairs).  Still, lots of ways to have fun with your premise.

That’s certainly a possibility, although I don’t think my story is going to be funny enough to go there.