Oranges and Sex

[foeofthelance]

I was asked this morning to ponder the sexual nature of an orange. (Actually, I was asked if I had ever considered how sexual eating an orange is, but I prefer my pondering. For somewhat obvious reasons.) To begin, we must first understand what an orange is. Like sex, it is the means by which a certain species of tree reproduces. It is a fruit, and derives its name from the color of its skin. Said skin is thick and tough, and mostly inedible. Instead the orange’s skin protects the flesh and meat inside. An orange is nominally spherical, with the interior broken up into wedge shaped sections. The wedges are comprised of an interior layer of skin, and contain meat, juice, and the occasional seed. The flesh is normally soft, and slightly sweet to the taste. The juice has a similar taste, but a high acid content gives it a very strong after effect. (I admit that I’ve never really been able to detect a difference between the taste of the meat and the taste of the juice, other than the kick in the stomach the juice leaves me with.)

So we know what an orange is, or at least I think we do. So what does that have to do with sex? To answer that properly we need to start at the beginning. The first thing that comes to hand with an orange is the skin. The skin is brightly colored, the better to attract attention to the fruit. So to do we go out of our way to make ourselves seem appealing to our chosen targets. Some, such as the average fashion model, put enough effort into this to create enough work to employ a small country by themselves. Others, such as myself, prefer a more minimalist attitude. Instead we rely on our own natural flair to attract those of a comparable state of mind and attitude. Personally, I think such relationships tend to be more natural, thus allowing for a tighter relationship to be established. Admittedly, this at the cost of the number of such relationships, but I feel that the trade off is worth it.

The other purpose of the skin is to protect the fruit, and this has a sexual relationship as well. It is my experience that everyone has their own secret sexual nature (perhaps not so secret for some?) which they choose to hide for a variety of reasons, generally summed up in one word: taboo. Individual cultures all have their own, of course, but inherently their nature is the same. Taboo topics are vile, shameful, disgusting. The people who commit such practices are seen as less than human, simple animals who shame themselves with every rutting encounter.

Except…not quite. In order for something to be socially acceptable, the majority has to be able to enjoy it or at least tolerate it. When it comes to sex, however, everyone has their own unique likes and dislikes, with few, if any groups ever forming a majority of the population. To complicate things, there are just as many things that can be a turn off as well as a turn on. Unfortunately, when we are not aroused by something to some degree, we often experience the opposite reaction and are disgusted by it. Combined with the herd mentality of most groups and it becomes easy for the squicks of the few to soon be condemned by the majority. This is especially noticeable in our so called “Open Minded Society”, where there is still a strong reaction against such things as sodomy, BDSM, and homosexuality. To protect ourselves from being ostracized we hide and bury our own desires, becoming ashamed of them we feel them. Just like the orange, we erect an outer skin to protect ourselves.

Thus to be a good lover you must first defeat that skin, just as to eat an orange you must first peel the skin. There are, in essence, two ways to accomplish this. First, be open about your own desires and wants with your partner, so that they might know what pleases you. (I don’t know what to say if they are squicked by it. On one hand, what else are they being squicked by? On the other, is it worth not having?) When talking about it don’t discuss things in terms of what you won’t do, but what you will do. Talk about the things that you want to do. At the same time you must be patient enough to peel back your partner’s skin. This is not a simple brute force project - after all, no one wants to eat a bruised fruit. Instead work slowly at it. Add one or two new things each time, mixing and matching as you go. Drop what obviously doesn’t work, but keep the rest, even if there isn’t an immediate response, as you never know what combination of tricks might later send them to ecstasy. It is hard to peel an orange in one piece - only those with massive amounts of practice ever seem to make it work, and even they occasionally stumble. That shouldn’t keep the rest of us from enjoying ourselves to the fullest extent that we can! Instead we keep coming up with new tricks and experiments, hopefully to our partner’s delights.

Once past the skin it is time to enjoy the fruits of our labors. (I made a pun! *Shot*) When it comes to eating the actual orange there are many things to learn that can be applied to sex. First the orange can be halved, giving it an uncanny resemblance to the woman’s sex. (No, I didn’t think of that one on my own. It was demonstrated for me.) Running your tongue along the inside could be seen as the equivalent of going down on a girl. Possibly the hardest part of cunnilingus is developing the necessary tongue dexterity. While it is possible to use your entire head in the process, this will tire you out more quickly as well as possibly straining your neck. To make up for this I suggest that the tongue be wielded with all the grace of a master fencer: using swirls, thrusts, dips, and slashes. Not everyone (supposedly) can curl their tongue, but try it! You just might be surprised, and you never know when that knowledge might come in handy.

That doesn’t mean that an orange can’t be phallic as well. Broken down, the individual slices of the fruit can be seen in a very interesting light, similar in nature to the halved fruit. Thought it bulges more to the middle rather than the tip, the slice of an orange makes a decent enough stand in for a cock, and can be used as a teaching tool as well. The male member can be quite sensitive when aroused, so it may seem odd that so many men would be willing to risk it near their woman’s teeth. Yet there is a combination of factors, the sense of power and control from having a woman on her knees, the sensation of a warm wet hole under some method of control, and perhaps even the sense of risk of having something so fragile and important in someone else’s care. (Women have been known to complain that oral sex is demeaning to the woman, because it puts the man in a position of absolute power over her. While this is true to a certain extent, I would like to pause for a moment to point out the flaw in this theory. We are essentially trusting the single most vulnerable and important part of our bodies to our partner’s teeth. One false move, whether through inexperience, mood, or even a sneeze, and we could end up maimed for life. Who is in a position of power again?) So how can a woman learn from an orange? Pressure. The key to a good blowjob is the proper application of pressure. Not enough, and the man will be caught on the edge between arousal and impatience. Too much, and there is only pain.

So conduct an experiment. Take an orange slice and hold it between your teeth. Using two fingers, move it back and forth inside your mouth. The only rule is that you are not allowed to break the skin. If you taste juice, finish of the slice and start again with the other. See how tightly you can hold the slices before their skin breaks. Admittedly, the average orange slice is going to be a lot easier to break than the average cock, but that’s not the point. Rather the point is to develop a refined sense of control over your jaw and mouth, so that you might be able to bring him to the brink and back again however you should so choose. If you really want to be kinky, tease the orange slice with your tongue as you practice.

And just like sex, there are an almost infinite number of ways to eat an orange. Quick and sloppy. Slow and neatly. Quickly and neatly. Slow and sloppy. Yet that also means that there are also far too many ways to describe here, so perhaps that makes this the best place to stop. Enjoy your oranges.

[Saitochan]

Wow. What a dissertation. I want an orange!

[Psychostorm]

I personally don't see anything sexual about an orange unless its being shoved up someone's orifice.

[shinigamiinochi]

well, I've always been confused about the origin 'lemon' and 'lime' in fanfiction, so I don't see why orange can't be sexual as well. In fact, I've read quite a few sexual scenes where someone's eating an orange, but never a lemon.

[PorkChopExpress86]

well, I've always been confused about the origin 'lemon' and 'lime' in fanfiction

In Western fanfiction circles, hentai-based works are popularly referred to as "lemon," based on a more popular hentai title called Cream Lemon. Fictions referred to as "Lime" are ones in which the characters do everything short of having sexual intercourse with each other. In Japan, the works may be referred to as "lemon" or "pink" ("pink" having sexual connotations similar to the term "lime" in the west).

sauce: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemon_(anime)

[shinigamiinochi]

I was aware of what lime and lemon meant when I got into fanfiction, but never there origins, so thanks for the info ^^

[Psychostorm]

In that movie The God Father oranges usually foreshadowed somebody dying or betraying the family or something like that.

http://www.jgeoff.com/godfather/oranges.html

[foeofthelance]

Hahahaha, well, in this case the only thing this heralded was the writing of two new chapters/fics. The Cheerleaders go updated, and I wrote a new story half based on the girl's poems titled Willowbrook Manor.