Cloudbringer

Reviews and replies: Hermione and the Juju of Pleasure

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Reserved workspace to discuss and address reviews for Hermione and the Juju of Pleasure

This project was taken on as a challenge from Dory, titled: Hermione Owns Fem!Harry. See link Below.

Please keep critiques, comments, and reviews to this thread NOT the challenge thread

Challenger has final say as to which direction the story should go if I end up veering a different direction than they envisioned. All reviews and critics will be welcome and taken into account and possibly integrated if it helps stay on track with intended concept. I will be publishing this a chapter at a time and I have no issues with completely redoing a chapter if there are critical issue that need to be addressed.

Summary: A re-telling of A Goblet of Fire. Fem!Harry,Harriett. She believes being the "Chosen One" grants her special privileges. Harriett begins to antagonize and manipulate the sexual desires of boys to propel her to the top of the class. Hermione must pull out her own tricks to stay on top, even if it means utilizing and ancient fetish doll called the Juju of Pleasure. With this fetish, Hermione can target anyone and make them succumb to their hidden desires or even bring them to orgasm from a distance.

-I'll adjust the tags as more chapters introduce such content. Enjoy. All feedback appreciated.

Link to Hermione and the Juju of Pleasure

http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600100047

 

 

   

 

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cool is this going to be something like the 

 challenege but with Hermione being the one doing it to Fem!Harry?

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LOL, yes, pretty much what the comments are talking about. Except it is Hermione that acquires a sexual voodoo doll that can be used against anyone, not just FEM!Harry, but focuses it on her.

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Guest Chapters 3 & 4 done.

It turned into a really long chapter so I split it up. Chapter 3 & 4 are now up, contains sexual content. Tags for the chapter are at the top. While 1 & 2 started slow, 3 & 4 really pick up and drop Hermione into this new world and her new journey including a glimpse of her hidden power. This is really my first crack at this kind of fanfic so any feedback or criticism/critique would help. Especially with how I describe sexual scenes or actions. Appreciate it.

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LOL, I guess that’s what I get for not signing in before posting. What I said above…

Quote

It turned into a really long chapter so I split it up. Chapter 3 & 4 are now up, contains sexual content. Tags for the chapter are at the top. While 1 & 2 started slow, 3 & 4 really pick up and drop Hermione into this new world and her new journey including a glimpse of her hidden power. This is really my first crack at this kind of fanfic so any feedback or criticism/critique would help. Especially with how I describe sexual scenes or actions. Appreciate it.

 

Edited by Cloudbringer

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Cool it will be interesting to see what the Shop sells, Since Hermione has a thing for Seekers mabye it will sell something like from the  “Perveted golden snitches” challenge. I hope Cho gets added, she and Cedric could be Hermiones Sub couple. I also hope that Fleur is a Seeker in this story(if hermione really does have a thing for them jus not draco).

mabye a magical Item that that turns in the person its used on into a pain Slut.Like one of the challenges on the Forums wanted done to Cho. There are also some interesting magical item ideas in The “Fem!Harry becomes the secret slave of Kreacher” challnege

or mabye a magical item that makes the wearer respond to names like whore.slave,bitch,cunt as her name, while also training them refer to themselves in the third person (A long term brain washing enchantment that effect would eventually continue even if the item were to be lost if it had been worn long enough)

with one of the enchantments effects being to make make the wearer not see anything wrong with what is happening, maybe even an effect to make the wearer feel a minor arousal to Train  the wearer to get turned on when called whore.slave,bitch,cunt and a Minor revulsion spell to maker her Dislike being called her name.

 

Hermione dosent have to buy any of it but It would be interesting to see what else the shop sells outside of the Doll. and the normal Bondage items like Bondage hoods, Chastity belts, butt plugs, clit and nipple rings,floggers,ect

and there should be enchanted version of the items like the Bondage hoods that keep the person under the hood anonymous unless you already know who it is and would stop the person wearing the hood from recognising the people unless they have were in the room when the hood went on. the hood would also translate the thing said to the sub  to their native language.(the language translation if or if Fleur gets involved either as hermiones partner in crime or the wearer of one of the Hoods.)

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Working on the next chapter and I went through and read 1&2 over again. Now that I see it from a distance, I’m not sure it lines up or can be misinterpreted. I never clarified their age. I think canon, the Goblet of Fire fourth year students are 14/15. Since some scenes and content are going to be a little intense, (as you can see in chapter 3&4) I was thinking 15/16/or even 17. Chapter 1 made them sound too young from what my goal is. I’ll probably re-work some of their conversations to make it match but still try to find a middle ground where they are a bit innocent but yet very curious about sexuality and maybe even through in a line or something to clarify their age so people don’t get scared off and re-post and updated version of 1&2 before I continue with Chapter 5.

Any feedback on this is appreciated. This is my first time at this so I just need some guidance on staying within the guidelines (am i doing a good job or if things need adjusting) and not destroying the story or the readers.

Thanks.

Oh, I could just add something as simple as “It was already getting old for Hermione, the small restroom big enough for two sixteen year olds to share.” At the very beginning so people don’t think all the characters are 13 or something.

Edited by Cloudbringer

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