fedess Posted June 6, 2017 Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 Having finished my first story I can no longer clumsily scribble temporary responses at the start of a new chapter, so, here I am. Many thanks for all the reviews so far. I might have given up on writing without them. Also another big permanent thanks to Lidy. I have more confidence in writing now and also many new ideas, so expect more stories to follow. At some point. Quote From MajorWRLL on June 05, 2017 on Little Brother's Awakening I would love for this story to continue at some point. We need to see her being more fully owned. Whether a tattoo or other form of ownership. She is starting to feel owned, I just want to see it more fully realized. Great job. Thank you. Considered it, but I feel it doesn't really fit. Jimmy does love his sister after all. I made a note for a next story to either aim towards that or maybe use a side-character. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Majorwrll Posted June 6, 2017 Report Share Posted June 6, 2017 Yes, maybe a small tattoo of his name. I just really enjoy the idea of whenever they are in private or hidden publicly that he and matt and maybe more friends can use her. I would love for it to be younger kids using her and not ones her age. Anyway great job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted June 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2017 Mmm I guess I could add another chapter, but I don't have any time until mid July. I'll see how I feel about it then. I'll leave a note at the end with the decision around that time, don't get your hopes up though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted June 11, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2017 (edited) Quote From Hungry-Orange-Squirrel on June 11, 2017 on Little Brother's Awakening Very hot story, I especially liked the character of Matt since I'm a big fan of young boys with huge cocks. Would love to see a story focusing on Matt and his exploits. Good to know. I'm still wondering how realistic I should keep the size(s). I was already planning on writing a shorter story first to figure out what perspective to use on a bigger planned story, so I'll just make the protagonist of that a Matt-like person. Edited June 11, 2017 by fedess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest 12424 Posted September 4, 2017 Report Share Posted September 4, 2017 Are you continuing this story or writing more? I really like your work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted September 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2017 I'm writing a new one, but progress is very slow. I'm about halfway done now, so I might upload chapter 1 one of these days, see if that will get me motivated to write some more. It's in past tense which I'm finding to be a struggle, but feels infinitely better. It's the main reason I'm not going to continue the other one. Anyway, thanks a lot for your message, maybe it was just what I needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest george Posted September 11, 2017 Report Share Posted September 11, 2017 Your writing is very good. Scenes move in a very natural way. Exposition only serves to set up the action. Your characters are mostly believable. The sex scenes are hot without being crazy. All in all I would encourage you to continue as you show a lot of talent and make very enjoyable content. I especially like the fact that you did not make Jimmy an unlikeable character. I usually am not into male domination in straight shota but you write it in a non-mean way so it works. He’s just a horny kid who loves sex but also loves his sister. If you were to continue you could explore their personal fetishes. Like a story where Jimmy wins tickets to a Major League Baseball game or something and the pair end up getting a motel room afterward where they find things left by the previous occupant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted September 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2017 Wow, that's a lot of praise. Thanks for that. It's a very fun idea for when I do decide to add a chapter to that story. There's a good chance I'll use it. Don't expect there to be one anytime soon though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted September 13, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 13, 2017 (edited) Quote From Lunarsilver on September 12, 2017 on Body Scouts Maybe Clyde looked at a plant book because he was bored but he see's a plant that can erase short term memories and has seen alot of them around so he uses it in everyone's food except his so only he remembers Nana and doesn't need to share her with anyone else. It's a funny suggestion, but I already have a way easier fix for the problem Quote From Lunarsilver on September 13, 2017 on Body Scouts Great work, I forget if clyde has a phone or not, if he does then Nana could do some sexting for him and Clyde is the only one that hides the pics in a lock folder and can only open the number lock screen the number is Nana bra size lol no one else knows of the pics exsitence on Clyde phone because everyone else thinks that he only uses the phone for games to block everyone else out which he does but views the pics only when he's alone and horny, he could also send a dick pic to her which she responds with "holy shit is that a third leg" because he's obviously big for his age and she's thinking how big will he be when full grown. Hope this idea helps and if the sexting is to much then when she holds Clyde close to her chest again Nana could feel his dick rub against her pussy and think that Thanks. I don't feel like I can get away with a 10 year old who has and is allowed to have a phone on a boy scouts survival camp, but I'll be sure to get her to have a stronger reaction to his size. Edited September 13, 2017 by fedess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted September 15, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2017 Quote From Hide_My_Sins on September 15, 2017 on Body Scouts What if it ended in a huge orgy of boy scouts and college girls. With Clyde and Nana in the center like a king and queen. You're actually not far from the truth. I was still in doubt over some things, but I now know exactly how I want it. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted October 4, 2017 Author Report Share Posted October 4, 2017 Quote From Shota on October 01, 2017 on Body Scouts Clyde will have Nana all to himself right?? Not shared her with other boys right?? Cause i hope you dont do it,like ur previous story... When i read the incest story u wrote,it was damn good,Until the part where he has to share his sister with another boy T.T...i hated that part of the story,so i dropped it instantly. If you want to do that for this story,give each boy 1 college girl,so Clyde dont have to share Nana XP Well, because of reviews like this I've made things a lot milder, in a way. I think you'll get the idea after reading chapter 2. Will try to finish that tomorrow. Thanks for the feedback. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest4465777 Posted May 25, 2018 Report Share Posted May 25, 2018 Hey! Have you stopped working on your stories? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted June 25, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2018 Thanks for the message. I'm gonna have some more time in summer so let's see if I can man up and finish it then. In case you're interested in the details: I'm writing for my own fun and I kinda lost that with Body Scouts for the moment. It turned into a big mess because I hadn't planned it properly and I ended up rewriting parts many times. Was expecting to still get it done quickly enough but instead I started putting the little time I've had recently into writing two different stories that (because of Body Scouts) I've decided not to post for now. One is a single chapter and stars a grandpa. The other is 10 chapters and counting as I very much enjoy writing it, and the description for it will be something like “Impossibly cute girl joins Japanese all-girls school” so it's something very different. I won't promise anything but I'll focus on at least finishing a couple chapters for Body Scouts sometime soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest THX Posted August 24, 2018 Report Share Posted August 24, 2018 Please keep writing. Really enjoyed LBA. Need more quality long form shouta stories out there. Any stories from other authors that inspired you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fedess Posted September 2, 2018 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2018 I keep procrastinating. Just don't feel like picking that up for some reason. Won't have much free time in the coming two months either. And to me what's easily the best story out there is “Mom! Luke Keeps Touching Me!” by amnimal. It's on this site and he has a couple more. For art you should check out RanneRo. He makes comics, is working on a game and has patreon. I have a habit of noting down stories I found okay enough, so here's some that I noted down. They're mostly a lot shorter and I often used ‘babysitting’ as search term cause that got results. Putting it partly in quotes for easy googling. I think most if not all of them I found on asstr.org so maybe include thatin the search. “Hannah And Her Brothers” Alex Hawk "24-HOUR BOY TOY TIFFANY Chapter One By Dr. Wu" < only chapter one has shota "Daughter Gets The Goat" by Bob Hawkins < starts good but then has bestiality and no more shota “Adventures in Babysitting” PatriciaXTC “The Babysitter's Favorite” Risa Lyn “Babysitter's Bikini” magnum “Dirty Little Boys, Filthy Big Girls” ermberto < vaguely remember this having poop involved at some point “Brother Trouble” Danaume Rook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest uvugv Posted March 16, 2020 Report Share Posted March 16, 2020 no updates? :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Riel Posted May 21, 2021 Report Share Posted May 21, 2021 Fedess continue your storry it's so good dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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