Mamacita Posted July 31, 2008 Report Share Posted July 31, 2008 PAGE 36 Five Servings a Day IN STORY SUMMARY (on p36) • a week after Somng Bng Blue IN REVIEWS http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ad&no=20111 • Ladyluck523 143141, glitched line 2 • Anon 237925, blank review IN STORY TEXT: Menu 1: • up and is grd byd by a squeak • wildly oxis.xis. She • everythiney dey did • red flusllinlling Buffy’s Menu 3: • tongue curbehibehind his • Buffy ss ags against Menu 4: • e loe look into Menu 5: • visions of shd Spd Spike in • look noncha. S. She chants • down on toffeoffee table • Huh.ird.ird. Menu 7: • rushing ugh ugh her so fast • in his h it’ it’s the • on her bar - m - makes • Qui [para] Quickly recovering • a quick s.” [para] .” Menu 8: • stop an stu stupid inner • You’re neasieasing me Menu 9: • something quiteangeange. Her • swimming wiequiequila, decides • flourish.A! TA! That’ll • considering if this e ise ise correct • head. e’s e’s scared Menu 10: • Spi [para] Spike’s gaze is • “Aren’t you d?” [para] ?” • arms foldehindhind his neck • much in as possiblHe sHe sits • B gas gasps quietly • Getting thepet.pet.” Pleasure http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=37387 Menu 1: • trails dows sis sides Becoming the Slayer http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=31704 —move to AU Menu 1: —brace yourself; it’s mostly one giant paragraph • big th, th, they were • get snatchp byp by all • before hed.”ed.” • don’t wo I w I will teach • there ust ust something • Alright ou wou want • I am herveryverything • first.“Are“Are you • gift oristristmas morning • beforealizalizing that • him lookingher her and • Yes, Isuresure Menu 2: —this menu is not a chapter but only an AN (delete?) • Spike ing ing Buffy First Time http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=37223 Menu 1: • line after opening AN is some incomplete code or something • &n bsp; Tremble http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=36689 Menu 1: • This wasa moa moment • finally rec; Wi; William • he said e loe lowered • needed ant out out without • y wey were together • not reallntinnting to rehash Surprise Innocence Twisted —move to AU (Dawn written as Buffy’s daughter, not sister) IN REVIEWS http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ad&no=35600 • Jen 287367, 287368 - duplicate review IN STORY TEXT http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=35600 Menu 1: • she had fel felt like Menu 3: • Her s..” ..” Willow said Menu 4: • the wi cov coverings were • is fathfather of your • needed to knod Spd Spike • Willow ascuricuriously • child tonk onk of • “Y [para] “Yeah...the last • She triedin. [para] in. Menu 5: • in AN: and the amathmath of him • in AN: was very confusseeiseeing as how • Mrs. Summeon’ton’t ever • as I did? Cra/i> /i> my touch [improperly closed tag] • Spike, re are a • should haven hen him when Menu 6: • her eyesely ely from the • things...anwantwant to talk • him t tht the dream • lips, te upo upon hers • for her n. “n. “Do you • believe yo [cuts off] • is he hol Daw Dawn Menu 7: • blow swunswung her • asked ull ull slayer mode • demon to emerg [cuts off] [para] J [para] Joyce gasped Menu 8: • stompe ben beneath • her eyeshtinhting back • to be oth lth letting • tracing hottoottom lip • Luv, s’noke Ike I can rent • from Dru...t’s I’d I’d allow • cuddled o heo her • “Thi”Think so • all of the .” J.” Joyce glanced In This Together —move to AU http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=36027 Menu 1: • Bulet let out Menu 2: • trying notstarstare at the Menu 3: • might fiut. [para] ut. • they weoth oth a little Pursuit IN REVIEWS http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ad&no=34513 • kiss_me 289734, is it only in the stories themselves that leetspeak is not allowed? if it’s in reviews too, ditch this suckah! IN STORY TEXT http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=34513 Menu 1: • froot oot to foot on the • bounced enticinin tin time • S cou couldn’t • He spra acr across • come intermingleainiaining her Menu 2: • to Drla tla the astonishing • head. >”It>”It’s all Summers Dream Winters Nightmare —move to AU IN REVIEWS http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ad&no=28653 • SL 232475, guess we can’t hang the reviewer for it, it’s deserved even if not very nicely worded...but it just cracked me up that this reviewer is scolding the author for something that she herself can’t do properly! • SL 232987, 232988, 232989 - first 2 are duplicate reviews, i actually think all 3 are although 232989 is glitched. are these enough to call him a flamer, after that other one above? • Nicky 233404, glitched last sentence • Anon 247505, blank review • Nicky 285510, glitched P2L1, P3L2 IN STORY TEXT http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=28653 —apparently the new thing is not to put any ending punctuation after sentences. hmmm...wonder if it’ll catch on.... —if there is any way to check this author’s DOB i would because the writing comes across sounding very juvenile —there’s really nothing to justify an adult rating, and considering she last updated in 2004 there probably won’t be Menu 1: • gazinguffy uffy said Menu 3: • someone cra in in there • Well ke ske some Menu 4: • new best nd” nd” She • melt from tmilemile he • Just whenet det drunk • fried b, sa, sausages • this funne sae said • shook herd [para] “d [para] “What did I • blond st hit hitting me • whole clby tby the way Menu 5: • going” Buffid [para] id • Joyceked ked up when • Joyce srunnrunning up • years old and a g a guest ... stairseaseease stop • girl smilsmiled • another nighttle tle bit Menu 6: • before, I’eardeard of it Menu 7: • neither,ffy ffy said Menu 8: • first line: fy afy and Spike • Buffy raoundound her You Mean the World to Me IN REVIEWS http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ad&no=27599 • Kar 223978, glitched P2L1,2 • txjmfan 239226, glitched line 3 IN STORY TEXT http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=27599 Menu 2: • vampire--nery ery often Menu 3: • feel himing.ing. Oh • want .tie.tie me up • widened “w!” !” He stood • sprinted to houshouse. Giles • meant it.wantwanted to know • on juakinaking it • is??” [para] ] [para] Spike Menu 4: • Justp, Sp, Spike ... want alk alk about • mind fonighnight? You • and canbloobloody stupid • and carin wan wanted • blames you for ing ing and no • “It”It’s not true! • kill tlayelayer Menu 5: • can’td yod your way • More than aing.ing. • WhatWhat protection • what youe tae taking • auseaused. She was • at herrnlyrnly. “You’re • getting to his fe [cuts off] Menu 6: • to demoremories of how • whatever sheded ded and wanted • desire chercherish, love • utterly misera He He’d missed Menu 8: • shower runn He He • The pcomecomes with Menu 9: • him, arms cro. “. “Maybe you • Stop SpikSpike,” she • Theps fps friends • to tto the ground • just aheadnninnning • “Yo”You’ll be all Menu 10: • real biay. ay. Not the Menu 11: • in a million es, es, you’ve • and all. l, hl, he —MENU 11 AND MENU 12 ARE DUPLICATES Menu 13: • it to suresure you Menu 15: • apart prodproduced a navy • eyes weide.ide. She • she was sy opy opening • blame yo you you don’t • Spik kno know without Menu 16: • right, “ T” The words Menu 17: • to do homew I r I ran myself • to feed i you you.” • ran his frs lrs lightly • whimpered andlapslapsed against • saw arm,arm, she • minute aghe whe was in Menu 18: • to get awayaway from • Drusilla. Il cal came to a Menu 19: • killed tlayelayers. She • I’moughough letting Menu 20: • cradled herse. se. • She was ng ang again Menu 21: • once tretureturned to • pasta dbakebaked ziti • he told h [cuts off] • annoyed whnya nya took off • find out ify’ry’re okay • “Spike,” he promp [cuts off] • perfectly [para] apable of amusing • dutifully ignort, nt, not bringing • yanked the s dow down and • hear you,” she told h [cuts off] • asked him in wr. [para] r. • I canll ill it, • that wasn’t per? [para] ? • and mostmost pleasurable • and let go. go. • grinned,hichhich would • and I’ll r ler leave Menu 22: • “Tel”Tell me Divine Intervention —move to AU IN REVIEWS http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ad&no=28156 • mari 232225, glitched • Lily Constancy 247855, glitched IN STORY TEXT Menu 1: • better he bhe breakup • She’s sorrte. te. She wants • tell herrythrything would Menu 2: • No LNo Luv, they • too smthatthat’s why ... have Id iere.ere.” She Menu 3: • Oere ere goes • So beful.ful. So • she wassuresure it • tryinglocalocate Menu 4: • you don’t have to” [para] “ • “re lre looking at me • to get hisdenedened Menu 6: • one hel a w a woman • Youallyally are • and deepg thg the kiss • rocking witr. [para] r. • sliding hisds uds under • back htlyhtly looking • Shuld uld feel • lay, touchiit wit was Menu 7: • awoke to fWillWilliam • finger intr cor core he • you soh Elh Elisabeth • evidentweetween her • and cled Eed Elisabeth’s • Barton and Wellry pry prestigious • and askf hef he wanted • Willgrowgrowled ... by the shi [cuts off] • when nishnished med • now auseause they’re • better by assoion.ion. I love • in AN at end of chapter: in e foe for angst Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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