Ookami88 Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 So, how far are you along Tenten’s chapter? Will you make it forthe first part being released this Sunday? And are we going to see some ero in it, or will we have to wait for part 2? Quote
C_Wade Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Posted March 17, 2017 (edited) Well, the intro is almost done, but it already has 2.5k words, than I have half a scene that will come a bit later, but which was still planned for the first part (another 2.5k). And then I have the first scene for the second (or third) part done. I would like to get it done by Sunday, but I can’t say it with 100% certainty. Looking at my outline there is still a lot of stuff to write for the first part, so I might have to split the episode in three parts, although I would hate to do that… I hope that since I’m almost done with the intro (which was a total drag to write), that I’ll progress faster with the ‘fun’ part. And yes, there will be smut in both parts, although more in second, since there is no need for an ‘intro’. Edited March 17, 2017 by C_Wade Quote
knowpein Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 Great to hear that… cant wait for the update…. I personally like longer chapters….but its ok. Quote
Ookami88 Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 Cool, I was hoping that there will at least be some smut in the first part. Can’t wait for the chapter! Quote
Guest snake1980 Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 ill be looking forward to see how u get tenten there and what will happen. well I might have a idea not sure what u wrote but u know how tenten is a tomboy well u could change that she has to wear a dress and do more girly stuff Quote
C_Wade Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Posted March 17, 2017 Thank you, glad to hear that you all are enjoying the story, I’ll do my best to have the chapter done by Sunday, since my holidays finally started today I will have the whole weekend without interruption to work on it. @knowpein I like longer chapters too, the reason why I said three was mostly because I’d rather give everyone a short chapter on Sunday, than no chapter at all. @Ookami88 Depending on what you count as smut there will be 2-4 scenes in the first part, provided I get everything done in time and won’t need to cut the chapter short. @snake1980 Thanks for the idea, but I think I already have enough for Tenten, as I said the outline is complete, now I just need to write it. Quote
Ookami88 Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 Well, I would count a scene where the breaking of Tenten begins as a smut, where the chapter doesn’t end on her simply blacking out, but includes her waking up in some compromising position and having been made to climax in one way or another. Vague, I know, but anything that doesn’t stop just before the good part starts, I consider smut. Quote
C_Wade Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Posted March 17, 2017 Well, I guess then there will be 4 scenes most likely, didn’t know whether you only counted things as smut that featured actual intercourse. There will be several scenes with larger timeskips between them, but most of the ‘action’ will always be written out (even if there are some fade-outs here and there) Quote
Ookami88 Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 Good to hear, and while most would count the actual intercourse, me on the other hand enjoy also other kinds of “playtime” that the girls would have. So, if those are included in those four scenes, then I’m really looking forward to the start of Tenten’s episode! Quote
knowpein Posted March 17, 2017 Report Posted March 17, 2017 5 hours ago, C_Wade said: Well, I guess then there will be 4 scenes most likely, didn’t know whether you only counted things as smut that featured actual intercourse. There will be several scenes with larger timeskips between them, but most of the ‘action’ will always be written out (even if there are some fade-outs here and there) can’t wait for actions on TenTen…I Definitely find non intercourse scenes much better...as part of preparing thats has to come... meanwhile I Have update Kushina Fight post…. Quote
C_Wade Posted March 17, 2017 Author Report Posted March 17, 2017 48 minutes ago, knowpein said: meanwhile I Have update Kushina Fight post…. What exactly did you update? just grammar and stuff? or actual content? I just read over it and I can’t tell if there is anyting different content wise Quote
knowpein Posted March 18, 2017 Report Posted March 18, 2017 20 hours ago, C_Wade said: What exactly did you update? just grammar and stuff? or actual content? I just read over it and I can’t tell if there is anyting different content wise I had added few ideas and quite expanded it….also corrected spellings wheresoever possible….So scenes were bit expanded….. Anyways waiting for your update…. Quote
C_Wade Posted March 18, 2017 Author Report Posted March 18, 2017 I hope I’ll be able to finish the chapter tomorrow, there are still 4 scenes left, but most of it is smut, so there is still hope… Quote
Ookami88 Posted March 19, 2017 Report Posted March 19, 2017 Since Tenten’s chapter is most likely just a few hours away, I’d like to go back to Hinata’s future episode, and basically any episode what I have to say soon can apply. See, it’s not only the actual intercourse that I find interesting in lemon stories, in this case there is also the breaking part that can provide a good deal of entertainment. One of the most interesting methods I like is whn the girl is so engrossed with at first unwanted pleasure, that when you take it away from her, she starts begging for it after enough time passes. Afterwards, she’s ready for anything that’s thrown at her and she accepts it with a smile. How does it ties to Hinata? It’s just that she’s a strong but also a very reluctant person. She’s not going to agree to anything relatively sexual from the get go, and even if she was captured and sexually tortured to break her, it would take a considerable amount of strentgth and ability. Therefore, the best strategy for a person like her would a restraint and slow inducing into the pleasure. First slow teasings, then intensify them, until she gets an orgasm after orgasm. What do you think? Pleasure or Pain for initial treatment? Quote
Guest snake1980 Posted March 19, 2017 Report Posted March 19, 2017 not sure If u have a idea for ino yet but I might have one what do u think of one of the daimyo advisers knows about what he been doing and ask for a favor from him. in the pass say his son had a eye on ino and when ever he would see her she would shoot him down and never even give him a chance his son so he would like to change that so after talking with the daimyo they come up with a plan were he would ask for someone to escort the adviser out of the capital to inspect some of business they are partner in and during that he would turn ino into his pet and ether keep her for himself or give her to his son. Quote
C_Wade Posted March 19, 2017 Author Report Posted March 19, 2017 So, to address a few things: The Tenten episode. Right now the first chapter clocks in at a little bit below 11k words, which is way too long in my opinion, considering it is still missing two scenes that I actually planned to write in my first draft. However, they will be moved to the second chapter, which makes Tenten’s fall seem a bit rushed in my opinion. But, as I discovered, writing Tenten is just no fun. There simply is no ‘connection’ between me and her character, which would encourage me to ‘break’ her. She simply is completely unremarkable character wise, which I think is one of the reasons I’m not very satisfied with the current episode. Nevertheless once I’m done with proof reading and minor editing I will still publish it, simply to get it over with. @Ookami88 yes, the ‘breaking’ is a part I often enjoy as well, and can be a lot of fun if done properly. I agree with your opinion of Hinata and personally prefer pleasure as the initial-, and overall-treatment. That becomes rather obvious when you read the Tenten episode imho. @snake1980 I already have a few Ideas for Ino, but I will add yours to them. I will consider them all once I start writing and choose the one I like the most. Quote
C_Wade Posted March 19, 2017 Author Report Posted March 19, 2017 The first chapter of the Tenten episode has just been posted, check it out: http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600106100&chapter=4 The longest chapter yet with a little more than 11k words. I hope you all enjoy it! Thanks to everyone for your support, I really appreciate it. Quote
Guest Omega Posted March 19, 2017 Report Posted March 19, 2017 That chapter was suuuuper awesome Quote
C_Wade Posted March 19, 2017 Author Report Posted March 19, 2017 Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Quote
redlox2 Posted March 20, 2017 Report Posted March 20, 2017 just read and posted my review on first TenTen chapter!! so is it multiple chapters as the Daimyo hasn't actually gotten a turn yet? Quote
Ookami88 Posted March 20, 2017 Report Posted March 20, 2017 While Tenten’s first chapter isn’t the very best to be honest (spotted a few spelling mistakes, some repeats, and it does seem a little rushed), I still enjoyed reading it and can’t wait for the next part! Anyway, back to the topic of pleasure-breaking I began, there is one particular method that I find endaring and think would be very effective against Hinata, to be more exact erotic tickling and orgasm denial. With this method Hinata would have her naked body tickled by ink brushes, feathers, fingers etc, and be brought to the very edge of her climax, but never crossing, always left hanging. After a prolonged time of such treatment there is no way she won’t start to try to get the most of the sensation on her own, only to be denied release once more. When things start to be the most unberable, at the question “Do you want to cum?” she would shout “Yes” in a begging manner. What are your thoughts? Quote
Guest snake1980 Posted March 20, 2017 Report Posted March 20, 2017 nice but I know u are going to have everyone from the leaf but what about other villages? like suna since u could have temari show up to talk about trades between there villages? but when she gets there she see both the fire and wind daimyo there and both use her and when the wind leaves temari goes with him Quote
redlox2 Posted March 20, 2017 Report Posted March 20, 2017 Just now, Guest snake1980 said: nice but I know u are going to have everyone from the leaf but what about other villages? like suna since u could have temari show up to talk about trades between there villages? but when she gets there she see both the fire and wind daimyo there and both use her and when the wind leaves temari goes with him he has said he might do other villages AFTER the leaf. if he does i would want hot Kunoichi like Yugito and Samui!! Quote
C_Wade Posted March 20, 2017 Author Report Posted March 20, 2017 @redlox2 It will be two chapters, just like the previous episode. And also thanks for the review! @Ookami88 Thats what I feared, tbh it was rushed, I wrote more than half of it on Sunday in one go… As for the pleasure breaking, the orgasm denial is a good idea, as is the tickling. @snake1980 as redlox already said, I might do other villages after Konoha is done. It depends on how far I take the story and how long my motivation for it lasts. Quote
Ookami88 Posted March 20, 2017 Report Posted March 20, 2017 Don’t worry, sometimes you just can’t get the chapter right, no matter how hard you try. I know it myself. If I may be so bold, I actually thought out the way this could be used on Hinata – she comes to the Daimyo’s palace, both for her mission from the Hokage, and to play diplomat for her clan. Hinata is greeted according to her status, and even given a room of her own. After retiring for the night, Hinata notices an incase inside the room, which was lit and gave a pleasant aroma. Not thinking much she went to sleep. The incase was actually a special mix of herbs which made Hinata’s slumber much deeper, making her go into a hypnotized-like state (you know the trick, you talk to a person while they are asleep and after they wake up they either do the thing talked to them or say something that was programmed in their sleep), also it was making her slowly aroused. Daimyo’s servants then come in and start slowly and sensually molest Hinata’s body, massaging and teasing all of her sensitive spots, until she climaxes at least once, all the while calling her ‘Sex Slave-chan’, and after she orgasms they would call her ‘Cum Slut’. This continues for a week or two, Hinata never remembers what happens at night, the combination of incense and molesting takes a toll on her body in the form of suddenly feeling very flushed. During one particular evening, when she’s alone with the Daimyo and some of his servants, during his talk he says ‘Sex Slave-chan’, and Hinata instantly feels hot and bothered, like she her clothes were suddenly constraining, the touch of fabric teasing her skin and slowly bringing her to an orgasm, along with the unyielding need to masturbate, even in front of the Daimyo. At first the Daimyo was showing concern, but he knew perfectly what was happening, he called the girl ‘Sex Slave-chan’ a few more times, which really makes her desperate to cum, until he finally said ‘Cum Slut’, bringing Hinata to an overwhelming orgasm. Don’t really know how to tie this together, but here’s what I thought out about Hina’s further breaking: Hinata is naked, blindfolded (special seal to prevent her from using the Byakugan), tied to some-sort of a table that keeps her positioned vertically at 70 degrees, but it was constructed like those X tables, but leaving her butt in the open, and her feet also were in the air (I’m not really good at describing these things, sorry for confusion), and very very aroused. She hears door opening, several people coming in, and before she could respondto them, Hinata feels their hands and ink brushes on her sensitive skin, making her squeal in laughter, which then turned to moans as the intruders started to tease her erotic places. What was the most painful for her to bear, they always stopped whenever she was close to climaxing, waited for her to calm down, and then started again, repeating the process several times, until she was begging them to let her cum. Like I said, I’m not really good at this sort of thing, but I think that this kind of scenario would suit in breaking a gentle person like Hinata. Add to that the nyotaimori idea I mentioned several posts ago, and I think this could be one of the more excitingly erotic episodes in the entire story (not the ‘Most’, but ‘one of them’)! Hopefully my rambling here helps even a little. Quote
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