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Posted

Paul just turned 16 in June.  His friend, Kevin, who's 10 years older than him, just married Tracy, in September.  Tracy and Kevin  know Paul is 'interested' but they shrug it off as a teen crush.  Over the next three years, Paul’s obsession goes from a simple fuck fantasy to a brutal, dark and sadistic.  Tracy suspects and tries to tell Kevin, but he insists it’s a teenage crush and he’ll grow out of it.  When Paul is about to turn 19, he decides kidnapping and torturing Tracy to death would be a good birthday present for himself. 

Paul is 5'10" dark red hair, green eyes, fairly good looking, manipulative, martial arts trained. 

Tracy is 5'7" dark blonde blue eyes, beautiful smile,(Paul thinks Tracy is gorgeous) mother of twins say 3 year old. 

Posted

I would like to take point on writing this story. I take two issues, about which I am vocal, and will place reference materials below.

Issue #1: I feel that the predetermination of Tracy as a victim falls into the “Women in Refrigerators” trope.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Website/WomenInRefrigerators

Because of that, I feel that shifting the target from Tracy to someone else may be preferable.

Issue #2: On a much easier note, I would like to work with a wider cast of characters, rather than just the five you’ve listed. Let’s expand this little family!

-Paul, Age 16-19

-Tracy, Age 25-28

-Kevin, Age 26-29

-Twins (Amy and Lucy, Age 0-3)

Posted

The article doesn’t seem to fit Tracy, or maybe I just don’t get it.  It’s a fantasy I’ve had for a couple of years now.  Expand the family as you see fit.  

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