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Posted

So hi guys and gal's I've been writing for a while but never really had the guts to post any before. I like honesty and constructive criticism. So.if you think my writing is crap say so as long as you tell me why. Not just slate it for fun

Posted

As I said in the review too short. I think both ch 1 & 2 should have been 1 chapter and some more added.. Go ahead and make another chapter but make it longer. :dancegirl2:

B

Posted (edited)

As I said in the review too short. I think both ch 1 & 2 should have been 1 chapter and some more added.. Go ahead and make another chapter but make it longer. :dancegirl2:

B

Gotta agree, too short...was just getting into iy and BANG, hit the EOC wall, :(

...of course I have been known to be a bit verbose...

Edited by magusfang
Posted

ok, 100 words exactly"

She slowly reached for the doorknob, her hand shaking lightly, and taking a deep breath before grasping it, she threw the heavy door open hard. From the doorway she saw the old man sitting at the desk, piles of gold coins arrayed before him, and the gun in her hand lifted, seemingly of it’s own, and fired with an explosive roar that hurt her ears. She looked over the dieing man, and out of the large window behind his desk with a sad sigh, at a large tree on the cliff and the dark storm clouds roiling in the distance.

the longer version is here: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107120

Posted

She died though...:(

plus she just gave her pain to the Capt who shot her, now he has to live with what he did. Oh he can say it was a mercy killing but trust me, that won't help in the middle of the night when the nightmares come...

Think I was in a bad mood when I rote that, best part is when she shoots the guy who hurt her

Guest Soulvanguard
Posted

If I may interject (somewhat new around here), I kinda had a somewhat dark lemon idea for series in Fate Stay Night. Any of you know of anyone who would be willing to take a stab at it?

Posted

If I may interject (somewhat new around here), I kinda had a somewhat dark lemon idea for series in Fate Stay Night. Any of you know of anyone who would be willing to take a stab at it?

I don't usually do commissions but email me and I'll Have a look-see

Guest Soulvanguard
Posted

Well thanks for willing to look at it, I appreciate it. Also thanks for telling that there is a place to post where I might get more people to look at it, in case you turn it down.

Anyway now I just have to figure out how to email you. Hopefully I don't fumble up to much (lol).

Posted

upper right of the page, click the little envelope then compose new...pretty easy from there

Guest
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