Chester57 Posted March 21, 2016 Report Share Posted March 21, 2016 Hmm, how would Hannah act when she's wasted? Ask Blanche, Don and Mike. Of course, they were wasted as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 21, 2016 Report Share Posted March 21, 2016 Ask Blanche, Don and Mike. Of course, they were wasted as well. Oh yeah, I'm slow - my Hannah, of course, at the age of 13. When I read 'Don and Mike' I couldn't help but immediately think of these guys. I spent too many hours being a groupie outside the WJFK studios. (although once at Chuckie Cheese I did get invited into the ball pit by Janet From Another Planet) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Daddy's girl Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 Hey joe long, Nice story and hope we will get next chapter soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jashley13 Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 Two more big scenes to write, one of which will be fairly painful. Should be out soon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diabound Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 I love this series, but I do worry that its relying too much on the "depressing drama act" as a crutch sometimes. Not an attack at all as it's very well written, I'm just finding a couple of personal issues with the trend, and worry it's relying on it too often. You don't always need to throw a ton of depressing shit into the story to make it good. That and I find Jack's constant personal angst as a bit of a turnoff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jashley13 Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 @guest_diabound I completely understand what you are saying and I agree. I promise to do my best to make more light chapters in the future. However, for this particular story arc, the 'dark and depressing' stuff does have a point, I promise. And believe me, I truly see what you are saying about Jack's personal angst; I'm basing a lot of it on how I was at the time. I can't promise that the next couple of chapters will be completely above the stuff that might be a turnoff for you but I promise to do my best to get some more levity involved Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 I had a lot of great memories of my high school and college years. It was also the most depressing time of my life, as I was trying to find out how I was, find a girl I could have a relationship with, and withstand my parent's divorce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 Should be out soon I... am... waiting... patiently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diabound Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 @guest_diabound I completely understand what you are saying and I agree. I promise to do my best to make more light chapters in the future. However, for this particular story arc, the 'dark and depressing' stuff does have a point, I promise. And believe me, I truly see what you are saying about Jack's personal angst; I'm basing a lot of it on how I was at the time. I can't promise that the next couple of chapters will be completely above the stuff that might be a turnoff for you but I promise to do my best to get some more levity involved Thankyou for the quick reply. I don't mind that you will need some depressing shit in this, but at times it does feel a tad like a soap opera with all the constant drama happening. First the incest and Craig, then Brad, then Tara, then suicide, then more Incest drama, then more incest drama and angst, then more angst/group breakup, and now this (much darker) drama. You are allowed some happy occasions On the plus side, you write damn well so it still works. It hasn't stopped me reading your stuff by a long shot, so its all good, was just voicing my viewpoint. Jack also needs a serious good punch to the face and stops him being an angsting little bitch xD If this was a fantasy novel I would have stabbed him to death a long time ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jashley13 Posted March 22, 2016 Report Share Posted March 22, 2016 @guest_diabound Maybe I do get swept up a little in the drama. One of the things Bashful_Scribe and I talk about quite a bit is how differently our stories are structured: his is very episodic, while mine flows more fluidly, one chapter to the next. I think if I were to publish these as books, the drama would be a little bit less. I've gone over previous chapters and found just how often Jack seems to be in over his head. Then again, drama is the essence of a teenagers' life so what you gonna do? I reiterate my promise that there will be lighter times ahead. And as for your wish about Jack, well...keep reading Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 One of the things Bashful_Scribe and I talk about quite a bit is how differently our stories are structured: his is very episodic, while mine flows more fluidly, one chapter to the next. Interesting. I talk to bashful occasionally, and it's usually about 'the meaning of sex.' Once you move past stroke stories into what you buys are writing, the sex is not there just to be gratuitous. It has to add to the story. The characters have certain attitudes about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Bees Knees Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 And as for your wish about Jack, well...keep reading He wished to stab Jack. Jack is stabbed by Kayla when he oversteps boundaries with Rhona confirmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 He wished to stab Jack. Jack is stabbed by Kayla when he oversteps boundaries with Rhona confirmed. Maybe Kayla slaps him or they fight and say things they don't mean to say. But the whole idea; maybe if Rhona makes a move on Jack and Kayla sees at the worst moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The Bees Knees Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 Maybe Kayla slaps him or they fight and say things they don't mean to say. But the whole idea; maybe if Rhona makes a move on Jack and Kayla sees at the worst moment. Oh absolutely. I was joking in my post, but I can definitely see this happening. It's not too far out of the realm of possibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 Maybe Kayla slaps him or they fight and say things they don't mean to say. But the whole idea; maybe if Rhona makes a move on Jack and Kayla sees at the worst moment. Women always start from the position of assuming the worst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 Women always start from the position of assuming the worst. True enough. Jack had better be sure that Kayla is kept completely in the loop from this point on. If things are going to go south then total honesty will be his best defense in case anyone tries to set him up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diabound Posted March 23, 2016 Report Share Posted March 23, 2016 I'm not going to go into how cancerous Kayla is as a character from a girlfriend point of view. Sure, the relationship on them is brilliantly written, but their bond is cancerous. I'm interested to see in how it'll go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 When they were in 10th grade more than a year ago, It didn't seem to me that Kayla had a lot of personality. She was Jack's hot girlfriend who loved to have sex with him - which is great for Jack. Over the past year she has defined herself and become much more strong and assertive, but not always how I'd like it. If I was Jack, I might rather be banging Rhona (but maybe that's just me). To me Kayla has become possessive of Jack, ready to defend him, and rather bitchy towards some of the other girls. Jack loves her very much and maybe he doesn't see this, but I tend to agree with diabound, there may come a tipping point where Kayla becomes something that turns Jack off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 When they were in 10th grade more than a year ago, It didn't seem to me that Kayla had a lot of personality. She was Jack's hot girlfriend who loved to have sex with him - which is great for Jack. Over the past year she has defined herself and become much more strong and assertive, but not always how I'd like it. If I was Jack, I might rather be banging Rhona (but maybe that's just me). To me Kayla has become possessive of Jack, ready to defend him, and rather bitchy towards some of the other girls. Jack loves her very much and maybe he doesn't see this, but I tend to agree with diabound, there may come a tipping point where Kayla becomes something that turns Jack off. You think that maybe Kayla is starting to act more like Becca? It makes sense when you think about it. The Hannigans and the Harrisons not only live next to each other, but also spend holidays and take vacations together. They may as well be in-laws already. Not hard to see that Kayla would become super-possessive of Jack. That is ironic since Kayla always resented Becca's bitchy 'hands off' attitude concerning Craig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 That is ironic since Kayla always resented Becca's bitchy 'hands off' attitude concerning Craig. Maybe not because Becca was possessive of Craig but that in that role she threatened Jack - and Kayla will not stand for that. Kayla has shown the will to take on Becca, Belle or Jessica. Rhona's in a yellow zone, and she doesn't know about Amanda (Ooh, maybe that's a hidden bombshell) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jashley13 Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 Next chapter should be out tomorrow I apologize for the wait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 Next chapter should be out tomorrow I apologize for the wait If I read the next chapter on Good Friday, will I have to say some Hail Mary's afterwards? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chester57 Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 If I read the next chapter on Good Friday, will I have to say some Hail Mary's afterwards? Of course! Since it's Ch. 49, your penance shall be forty Hail Mary's and nine Our Father's. That reminds me-- I've got to go buy some tilapia filets for Good Friday dinner. Wow! Chapter Fifty coming up. That's amazing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that-one-guy Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 Next chapter should be out tomorrow I apologize for the wait New chapter AND Dawn of Justice? It truelly is a Good Friday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Long Posted March 24, 2016 Report Share Posted March 24, 2016 New chapter AND Dawn of Justice? It truelly is a Good Friday! I have time sensitive project I have to code. There's baseball data on a website that I want to download, it goes up for the first time tomorrow, but they only keep it for a day and then it's gone! Plus, I have to drive to Pittsburgh sometime tonight or tomorrow and church activities Friday afternoon. Busy, busy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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