She is the One

[Chester57]

Well, I think Jack lost his appetite there at the end of the chapter but I’m not too worried.  I don’t believe that Kayla would be so insensitive as to give him bad news on his birthday.  She said she wants to talk to him about “college stuff,” so I don’t think it’ll be that serious.  

So Jack got a roommate named Tom Collins, an Iowa kid who uses Bible quotes?  They’ll make an interesting pair!  And Tara reserving a room to herself seems to have Arthur worried.

I’m wondering why Amanda is obsessing so much about the sex with Alan two years ago… unless she’s afraid she’ll be tempted to do it again once Jack is no longer there.

--------------

 I glanced at Kayla and raised my eyebrows. “My gift is a bit…different,” she said slowly, feeling out each word as if it was a fragile bit of pottery, “I’ll give it to you later when we’re alone.”

...but you go ahead and try to guess what she got me before I eventually get to it. Go on. I dare you. And I promise you that you’re not gonna be able to guess it.

Easy.  A four-year supply of condoms. 

 

 

Edited November 3, 2017 by Chester57

[Joe Long]

On 11/3/2017 at 3:43 PM, Chester57 said:

Easy.  A four-year supply of condoms. 

 

While I was in college my dad gave me a box of condoms so that I wouldn’t bring home any ‘mistakes.’ He was sure I was spending most every evening on campus with some honey, but it was more depression and a desire to be with the guys instead of him. I don’t think I ever used any of them. The one time I needed one was probably before then, as I didn’t have any and she thus stopped right then and there. Didn’t even finish me.

[Jashley13]

Next chapter should be up tomorrow

[Chester57]

18 minutes ago, Jashley13 said:

Next chapter should be up tomorrow

Good deal.  Since this will be the last chapter in the Transition Saga, I’ve been wondering how it will end.  Either a long, bittersweet good-bye for everyone or perhaps something unexpected happens— a cliff-hanger that will follow Jack and Kayla all the way to Iowa.

[Jashley13]

Chapter 84 is up and that’s another Saga officially in the bag. Gonna take the rest of the day (this one was pretty emotional for me) but I’ll be back to work tomorrow! Hope you all enjoy

[Chester57]

  Thanks!  I'm at work, of course-- have to wait until tonight.

[Starkz]

That Rhona moment is so tangibly romantic it is tough to imagine a moment which rivals it.

Brought close to tears on two different occasions in the same bloody chapter. You have seriously outdone yourself this time. 

im shook guys

[Guest V3nomWolf]

The ending of thus chapter was so well written. It reminded me of my first time going off to college.

[Joe Long]

I thought about putting an exclamation mark at the end of all my sentences as well

No – you just put at least one italicized word in every sentence.

[Chester57]

Good chapter and good-bye scenes.  Now, then— knowing Jack as we do, what kind of trouble do you think he’s going to get into once he gets settled in at college?  The title of the new Saga may give us a hint.  Don’t forget that Jack still has that Chinese water torture ad pipe bomb in his future.

[Jashley13]

A happy Thanksgiving to you all wherever you may be or however you are celebrating, I hope today helps you appreciate life just a little bit more

[Chester57]

37 minutes ago, Jashley13 said:

A happy Thanksgiving to you all wherever you may be or however you are celebrating, I hope today helps you appreciate life just a little bit more

Thanks Joe!  Going to take my beagles out to the park trails for a while and then just relax.  Best wishes to you and yours for a happy and safe holiday.

[Jashley13]

Next chapter should be up either today or tomorrow

[Jashley13]

New chapter is officially posted

[Guest 1st timer]

So I've never commented before but I've been following the story since the xnxx days. I always thought the overall storyline was great but lately I've found it harder and harder to read. I've found jack has become a really unlikeable character for me. So much angst, internal dialogue and hyperbole it's almost unreal for me. Like every hug he's got fractured ribs after and little things like the drive he has to describe it as if it's some monumental battle he's undergoing. I was rereading the earlier chapters and I liked that there was less internal monologuing and more witty dialogue between the characters, particularly with jacks dad. Obviously I don't mean this to come across as offensive because I think you've got an incredible talent for writing. This was just my thoughts.

[BashfulScribe]

I’m still trying to catch up in my reading as opposed to caught up to chapter 85, but I will agree with the guest directly above me that Jack changes and it becomes a lot more self-centric. I also will say that the transition kind of makes sense to me. A good number of these events happening centered around the protagonist will give them an inflated sense of self-importance, and I get the feeling that his own self-deprecation is starting to feel like his own justification. Like, ‘no, I’m not an unlikeable guy, all this crap is happening to me, plus I don’t believe in my abilities and have some confidence issues. That means I must not be pretentious, right?’ It could be coincidental and this could be the most backhanded praise I ever gave but that’s how it seems to me. The other characters thing is a genuine criticism though – they aren’t fully there but other characters feel like more and more of an accessory to what’s going on. Not to Jack, there are some points when, say, Alan and Amanda etc are in focus, but whenever a character isn’t the ‘star of their episode,’ it feels a little less real as people to have them there. My criticism can be summed up with ‘less Walking Dead, more Game of Thrones,’ though I would never compare your writing to The Walking Dead in any other capacity. Gives the show too much credit.

<insert compliment about how you’re a good writer to soften the blow of my criticism> I’m looking forward to fully catching up on the story and being able to read alongside your other viewers. It’s been too long.

[Chester57]

First Timer and BashfulScribe are right in pointing out that Jack’s character has morphed from the early chapters.  Everything that has occurred thus far— especially the near-breakup with Kayla— has pretty much done away with Jack’s noble White Knight complex and made him more self-centered.  Does that make Jack unlikeable?  No more than any other 19-year old college freshman, I would think.  

The chapter itself was okay.  I personally hate long car trips so I could well sympathize with Alan and Amanda.  I thought the checking-in process at Iowa State was interesting— for damn sure we never had a Cigar Club when I was in school.  I was also intrigued by Kayla’s roommate Heather, a Physics major.  I admit that I hadn’t heard the term ‘astrolabe’ in decades.  [A precision inclinometer used by astronomers and navigators.]  This will be the beginnings of the new group, I suppose— Jack & Kayla and their roommates Heather & Thomas?  

And what’s the name of this Saga?

[Jashley13]

Next chapter should be up in the next couple of days Kind of introduction chapters now so I apologize for the lack of action but just bear with me and we’ll get to some meaty stuff soon.

 

And I realized I never named the saga: College Saga. Not very imaginative but there you are.

[Jashley13]

New chapter is posted

[Chester57]

That was quick.  See what you can accomplish when you stay up all night?

[Guest Tarkov]

“’Kayla said your RA is a Theater student?’

‘Yeah! May…something.’ She frowned in thought, then shook her head.”

Maybe I’m too optimistic and it’s just a coincidence...

[Chester57]

I don’t know what to make of Thomas.  I sort of get the impression that he’s going to try imposing his will on Jack.  Maybe he was the top dog among his high school friends and figures that college will be no different.  The fact that he immediately approved of Kayla and then immediately disliked Heather tells me he’s pretty shallow.  He asks if guns are allowed and then tells Jack that he would never join the ROTC.  And why would he want a pellet gun, anyway?  To shoot the chipmunks?  Weird vibes coming from that guy.  Jack should record whatever Thomas says in his sleep and play it back to him each morning.  (just a thought )

I’m liking Heather more and more.  Smart, sweet and she’s got a horse.

Kevin reminds me a little of Joe, so I think he and Jack will become good friends.  

 

[Jashley13]

Next chapter should be up by tomorrow

[Jashley13]

Chapter 87 is up! Hope you all enjoy! I doubt I’ll be able to have the next chapter out before Christmas but I hope you’re all spending the holidays happy and safe

[Chester57]

Thanks, Joe!  A merry Christmas to you and your family.  God Bless!