She is the One

[Joe Long]

17 hours ago, Chester57 said:

1. Her folks have been quietly pressuring Kayla not to go.  Recall that Mary had wanted Kayla to follow her into a political career.
2. Kayla is afraid that if she leaves her parents would separate.       

Thoughts?

 

Very definite possibilities. Kayla’s parents don’t have to be overtly pressuring her, but they could well be having problems and Kayla thinks she needs to be there to hold them together.

In my writing I frequently do things in pairs, where I have some situation and later revisit the same premise but perhaps with different people, in order to compare and contrast, as well as drop foreshadowing hints. Here it may well be that Arthur’s worrying about keeping it up with Tara while she’s away at college is a clue that Kayla may not want to leave home, and can Jayla survive a thousand mile separation?

 

Chapter 81 typos:

The exact shame shiver ran up my spine
Think you’re gonna find anyone as interesting as me out in Iowa. [needs question mark at end]
“Maybe at some point she’ll you your girlfriend back,” [missing word – she’ll give you your girlfriend back ?]
“I wish they my teachers’ names so I could call them.” [missing word – they gave me my teacher’s name ?]

 

[thismy]

21 hours ago, Chester57 said:

Yes, another fine chapter.  I am not holding out much hope for a long-distance relationship between Arthur and Tara.  We still don’t really know her true feelings about him.  Arthur’s conversation with Jack could suggest that he’s not sure Tara would stay with him through the separation of college.

Jack mentioned that Kayla never really tells him about what is going on at her house and with her parents.  Well, for damn sure something is going on.  I wonder if it was true that Chester Hannigan was out at a job interview when Jack came to pick up Kayla for the prom?   And “Too late to change, anyway…?”  Now that’s an interesting comment.  Kayla is definitely having second thoughts about Iowa.  Two possibilities that I can think of— 

1. Her folks have been quietly pressuring Kayla not to go.  Recall that Mary had wanted Kayla to follow her into a political career.
2. Kayla is afraid that if she leaves her parents would separate.       

Thoughts?

Those two things are angles I hadn't though about. I've been following the "Kayla feels suffocated" avenue pretty hard, but that could be only a side issue. Yeah, maybe she is feeling a little pressure from Jack she doesn't want. But the possibility that she is worried about her home life and her parent's life is likely, and that she is feeling pressure from her mom. 

I think that issue is most telling about their relationship. Jack and Kayla are shown to use through Jack's eyes. They are, in his mind, the perfect couple. They've grown a lot over their few years together. Yet they still have a lot of growth to go. There are a lot of things yet to come to set them as an ironclad couple. 

[Joe Long]

Saw this on another board:

"Kazuo Ishiguro wrote the bulk of The Remains of the Day in four weeks. All it took was extreme dedication—and a willingness to be terrible."

That last part, "a willingness to be terrible" is key. Straight from the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize in literature.

National Novel Writing Month awaits. Sharpen your quill.

 

The book was 258 pages, which at 250-300 words per page, would be about 70k words. I informed them that jashley wrote not just a draft, but published a completely edited version of chapters 42 & 43, totaling 71k words, in 4 weeks.

Edited October 7, 2017 by Joe Long

[thismy]

4 hours ago, Joe Long said:

Saw this on another board:

"Kazuo Ishiguro wrote the bulk of The Remains of the Day in four weeks. All it took was extreme dedication—and a willingness to be terrible."

That last part, "a willingness to be terrible" is key. Straight from the winner of the 2017 Nobel Prize in literature.

National Novel Writing Month awaits. Sharpen your quill.

 

The book was 258 pages, which at 250-300 words per page, would be about 70k words. I informed them that jashley wrote not just a draft, but published a completely edited version of chapters 42 & 43, totaling 71k words, in 4 weeks.

I'd forgotten about 42 & 43. Those two chapters were a beautiful mosaic of failure, betrayal, and despair.

[Joe Long]

Brow Ridge has around 1600 students, so I assume they’d graduate about 400, perhaps a little less. Been lot’s of boundary changes lately, swapping neighborhoods between them and Creekside and Broad Valley. I graduated in a class of 200, but don’t recall how long ti took. Maybe an hour or so. My wife’s class was over 600, and her last name started with ‘W.’ Her parents had a long wait.

About picking up the real diploma – we crossed the hall from the auditorium into the cafeteria where the tables were set up. I remember my school checking for money owed. If someone didn’t pay for that replacement pair of gym shorts in 10^th grade they weren’t going to get their diploma until the account was settled.

My wife had a worse experience – she was notified a couple of days before graduation that she didn’t have enough credits, that somehow her guidance counselor hadn’t noticed for two years that she was lacking in History. She took and passed the final exam for the missed course, but will still cuss out that counselor 38 years later.

[Chester57]

1 hour ago, Joe Long said:

Brow Ridge has around 1600 students, so I assume they’d graduate about 400, perhaps a little less. Been lot’s of boundary changes lately, swapping neighborhoods between them and Creekside and Broad Valley. I graduated in a class of 200, but don’t recall how long ti took. Maybe an hour or so. My wife’s class was over 600, and her last name started with ‘W.’ Her parents had a long wait.

About picking up the real diploma – we crossed the hall from the auditorium into the cafeteria where the tables were set up. I remember my school checking for money owed. If someone didn’t pay for that replacement pair of gym shorts in 10^th grade they weren’t going to get their diploma until the account was settled.

My wife had a worse experience – she was notified a couple of days before graduation that she didn’t have enough credits, that somehow her guidance counselor hadn’t noticed for two years that she was lacking in History. She took and passed the final exam for the missed course, but will still cuss out that counselor 38 years later.

My graduation was held at Blossom Music Center, an outdoor venue that is the summer home of the Cleveland Orchestra— pretty fancy by today’s standards.  Class size was 450.  We walked across the stage to get congratulated by the principal and then handed our actual diploma by the vice-principal.  Done and done.

Before that, however, was the small matter of a $6 locker rental fee that I refused to pay because the fucking lock didn’t work!!  They wouldn’t fix it or assign me a different locker so I had to buy a separate padlock to keep my stuff from getting ripped off.  Second-last day of school I get called to the office and am gleefully told, “Sorry Chester, but no $6, no diploma.”  I was seething but decided not to become an object lesson.

Off-topic note:  For fans of Riverdale, season 2 starts Wednesday at 8PM on the CW.  

[Joe Long]

Been thinking about Kayla. This could turn into one of the most powerful story lines of the series.

We know that after 20 years of marriage, the Hanigans are having some struggles. As The story is seen through jack’s eyes, there’s much that is hidden.

As Kayla is an only child who’s now over 18, I think she dreadfully fears that if she is 1000 miles away at college that no one will be there to hold her parents together. She’d blame herself for not being there to save the marriage.

Additionally, her parent’s situation has likely Kayla very cautious about marriage. Her parents were great, and now they’re struggling. She’d want to be very, very sure she doesn’t make a rash decision and find herself in the same position years later. If she goes to Iowa, her and Jack together, I think she fears she’ll be signalling to him that she’s committing for the long term. They could even end up sharing an apartment – at the very time she wants to go slow.

Those are two reasons why Kayla wouldn’t want to leave home, and leave with Jack. Then we’re shown Arthur’s worries about trying to maintain a long distance relationship with Tara. Jack is so ready to leave Sudley Lane in the dust and pursue his dream out in Iowa, where his grandparents live...and Kayla doesn’t want to go. The only way to keep Kayla is to let go of his dreams.

That touches on an important subplot that I’m writing, so maybe I’m a bit biased. My guy will be graduating college in a year while his girl is still in high school. Will he stick around in their shit town for her? Tom Cruise & Leah Thompson in All the Right Moves. (I was in a crowd scene.)

A real life example of the age difference – one of my nephews graduated high school a year ago in 2016, while his girlfriend was finishing 10^th grade. Now she’s a senior, and they’re still together, but for the past 16 months she’s been a high school student with a boyfriend in the Marines. I assume it’s very hard.

ED: Quite hard. I just checked her Facebook. Although she’s still ‘friends’ with my nephew, she’s in a relationship with a new guy as of Oct 5

Edited October 15, 2017 by Joe Long

[Chester57]

I’ve been thinking along this line as well.  Also, don’t forget that Becca and Craig are in the same situation.  It was probably the happiest day of Becca’s life when she got the promise ring.  Craig represents a much better future for her.  I was thinking that they would break up over the summer but now I’m not sure.  They may find a way to make it through to Becca’s graduation and then get married.

[Jashley13]

Hey all! Next chapter should be up today!! Sorry this is kind of sudden but I kind of surprised myself with how fast this one came along. Look for it soon!

[Jashley13]

Next chapter is up! Hope you all enjoy

[Joe Long]

On 10/15/2017 at 7:49 AM, Jashley13 said:

Sorry this is kind of sudden but I kind of surprised myself with how fast this one came along. Look for it soon!

Don’t apologize. I’ve written 2 chapters in the last 14 months (although I’ve putzed around doing drafts of various upcoming scenes and rewriting my opening)

[Chester57]

Okay, finished Ch. 82 last night.  As I was suspecting, the ‘Talk’ between Jack and his Dad didn’t include any scandalous revelations or family secrets.  Mike Harrison was probably the original frat-boy party animal when he was in college and perhaps wanted to be sure that Jack didn’t make any of the mistakes he did?  To quote Mike— “I’ve done plenty of bad stuff in my life. Stuff that you don’t know about. Stuff that…” He dropped his voice a little, “…your mother doesn’t know about.”  Hmm? I wonder if any of that “bad stuff” is relevant to Jack and his siblings?

As far as the college goes, I’m wondering if Jack might not get a roommate and have the dorm room to himself?  That might be interesting.  

I got a smile when Jack mentioned his “adventurer’s kit.”  I used to call mine a Go-Bag.  A small back pack I could just grab and head out to the woods or wherever.  Still got it around somewhere.  

 

[Joe Long]

On 10/20/2017 at 5:54 PM, Chester57 said:

As far as the college goes, I’m wondering if Jack might not get a roommate and have the dorm room to himself?  That might be interesting.  

 

I’m halfway thru, but read ‘the talk.’

I went to Pitt. Freshmen who lived on campus had to be in a dorm, which at the time were segregated by sex (after 11 pm member of the opposite sex wasn’t supposed to enter building, with an RA on guard, but they didn’t check rooms for stragglers) Dorms had two bed in each room, and shared a bath with the adjacent room. Roommates were assigned, although requests could be made.

Lodges were available to upper classmen, usually taken by Greeks, with each unit comprised of four rooms of two beds each (two sets of bed-bath-bed) on each of first and second floor. The first floor had a living room and kitchen, the second a parlor. Pairings were almost all voluntary.

Individual upper classmen also had access to townhouses, very much as found off campus, with two or three bedrooms upstairs (can’t remember exactly) Students may have been able to get their own bedroom.

There were also some apartment buildings about a half mile walk away where some students lived.

On campus, a student may be able to be the only one in a bedroom of a townhouse or lodge, but there would be several other (up to 15) people in the unit. The only way to have a room of a dorm to one’s self would be if someone left school in the middle of a year, but the bathroom would still be shared and members of the opposite sex restricted in their presence in the building.

 

[Joe Long]

Also...we have three kittens right now, along with four adult cats. 

Every cat in this family so far has either been all black (about 80% of them) or all grey. One of the kittens if gray with white spots, so me daughter named him “Spot.”

The two other kittens are both all black. They are twins who are hard to tell apart, one male and one female, and they are always cuddled up together. I’m trying to think of a way to name them Alan and Amanda without confessing where I got the names.

[Chester57]

On ‎10‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 9:15 PM, Joe Long said:

 Freshmen who lived on campus had to be in a dorm…  Roommates were assigned, although requests could be made.

What makes it curious is that they both applied and were accepted  to Iowa State at the same time.  Why would Kayla be assigned a roommate and not Jack?  

 

[Joe Long]

1 hour ago, Chester57 said:

What makes it curious is that they both applied and were accepted  to Iowa State at the same time.  Why would Kayla be assigned a roommate and not Jack?  

 

I’m sure we’ll find out...but if there are an odd numbers of students in the dorm, there will be one room that has one less student.

[Chester57]

On ‎10‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 11:34 AM, Joe Long said:

I’m sure we’ll find out...

If Jack has his own room then the possibilities will be interesting to say the least!   

[Joe Long]

1 minute ago, Chester57 said:

If Jack has his own room then the possibilities will be interesting to say the least!   

but, but, but...that could be pushing Kayla where she doesn’t want to go

[Jashley13]

Next chapter should be up today or tomorrow

[Jashley13]

And...it’s up. Wow. Didn’t think I’d get done that fast. Hope you all enjoy!

[Chester57]

55 minutes ago, Jashley13 said:

And...it’s up. Wow. Didn’t think I’d get done that fast. Hope you all enjoy!

Awesome!  You just saved the day.

[Joe Long]

7 hours ago, Jashley13 said:

And...it’s up. Wow. Didn’t think I’d get done that fast. Hope you all enjoy!

13 days, just about normal. Didn’t seem like that long.

[Joe Long]

University of Iowa, not Iowa University.

There was the guy in my neighborhood that I was best friends with – from kindergarten through high school graduation. We lived three blocks apart, with our elementary school in between. I stayed at home and commuted to college while he went to a school on the other side of Pittsburgh. We still hung out during the summers and he was the best man at my wedding. Then I left town for work and a few years later so did he. We’re friends on Facebook but rarely exchange a message. He’s never come to a class reunion. I haven’t seen him face to face in about thirty years.

When I got to college I quickly met another guy who lived on the other side of town, 11 miles away. A new best friend. We were always together at school, having the same majors and the same interests in politics and sports. We kept in touch during the summers and frequently hung out together. I even got to meet a group of his friends and joined their group. He was in my wedding too. A year or so after graduation he went to Pittsburgh for work and then Florida. We eventually got back in touch on Facebook and do write occasionally and we’ve worked on some computer stuff together. I din’t think I’ve seen his face or heard his voice in almost 30 years.

I have friends at work, some for nearly that 30 years – but they’re work friends. I almost never see them outside the office. When I d hang out with anyone these days, other than family, it’s most likely to be someone from church.

So yeah, it’s turning a lot of pages when you leave high school and again when you leave college.

 

[Joe Long]

My wife insisted we name the last two kittens. I hesitated on Alan and Amanda while my daughter suggested ‘Pepper’ for the all black female. I went with it and then offered ‘Tony’ for the male companion (aka twin brother.) Regrettably, I had to explain why Tony was a match for Pepper.

[Jashley13]

Well, this snuck up on me. The next chapter will be the last chapter in the Transition Saga don’t know how that managed to sneak up, but there you go