Man, I'm depressed.

[DarkInuLord]

3 hours 2 seconds ago Hide Report Spam

Ooh. Pretty o3o

I barely have sunset's here. But when they do ghappen, it's worth it ^^

I know I've been gone so long. First the play, then the internet...and now homework

I found out that if I'm not on MSN, I'm actually able to get my work done! Now, to Shakespeare!

Offline for 37m 22s.

She never even fucking got on to say hi.

Never even replied to my emails.

Instead I get a comment on one of the pictures I posted on Deviantart.

And oh, sure, yeah, she's doing homework and she's too busy to talk to me. That's why she had the time to draw and post a new picture.

Okay I was worried before, but now I see everything's fine and she just doesn't want to talk to me, I'm actually angry. She couldn't find five minutes out of the last six fucking days to tell me she's okay and she wouldn't be on? Her internet wasn't down, she just didn't want to talk to me. Even after it initially WAS down, she got on Deviantart but still never fucking let me know she was alive.

I... Just ugh, what the fuck....

[greenwizard]

*pets* I'm sorry sweets. Whoever said love is blind was a wise person because it's true. But yes, if she can get on to post comments on a picture her internet isn't down. It may never have been down. Not to mention she should have been able to reply to your emails. It may be more mind games, I don't know. You really do deserve better than this. I'm here if you want to talk.

[DarkInuLord]

I feel pathetic... I've just sort of laid here, doing absolutely nothing constructive, since I found out she really just doesn't want to talk to me, it's been a goddamn week and I didn't even know where she was, then I get a comment and she seems cheerier than normal, for not talking to me.

I just....... I've literally only gotten up to get bare minimum required to live, or use the bathroom/shower.... I mean even with a computer right in front of my face, I turned things on and just..... Stared.... I just sat there looking at the screen, doing nothing........ I mean I was never like this with my exes, I don't know what's wrong with me......

:: Edit ::... I go to check my messages on Deviantart, she's ONLINE right at this moment, but won't say hi, or even reply to me. :: Grinds teeth ::

Edited May 14, 2008 by DarkInuLord

[Shinju]

Double posting to vent a little...

Well I haven't heard from her at all in four days. But I remembered that her deviantart page is in my bookmarks and she sometimes messages me on there if she can't get online. Offline for: 2 days.

I haven't heard from her in 4. She was on 2 days ago but never said hi? Never even replied to my email? I mean, I'd understand if she just didn't message me on deviant art, and she used a computer without MSN on it, and couldn't get to a phone, and was stranded in a desert for four days, but my email was a reply to the one SHE sent me saying her internet was down. It's not like it's hard to type "Msn.com" and check your email... Sigh, I think she's avoiding me, I'm expecting her to do something where she doesn't have to face me personally, like email me or text message me from her new boyfriend's cellphone saying she's breaking up with me. =_= That's how it worked last time. "Oh hi, I don't think we're working ou-- No babe it's no one, shhh. I don't think we're working out, bye." I'm expecting something like that again.

Please don't be offended by what I'm going to say right now, I'm going into mother mode.

Yeah, I'm sorry. As a girl who knows girls speaking, the outlook for your relationship does not look good. Everything you have said about this person makes it seem like she feels less for you than you do for her. I don't think it's you, honestly. I think it all comes down to the fact that she is in high school. When you were her age, would you have been able to deal with someone four years your senior wanting to marry you? Without seeing what other options were out there? You need to be fair to her too.

If you really love this girl and it was meant to work out, then perhaps you will meet four or five years in the future and things will click, but she is so young right now. You might not see it because you're very young too, but you've also had the opportunity to date other people. I used to be an inexperienced girl in a relationship with someone six years my senior, and trust me, no matter how much you love the other person the curiosity is always there. I'm not saying an age gap/experience gap relationships never work out, I've seen such relationships work out, but the problems caused by the gap will be nearly unbearable due to things like curiosity/cheating and the difference in levels of maturity.

I wish you luck,

- Shinju

[cu-kid9]

I think what Shinju said is right. And, while you may have figured out what you want, she may not even have figured out who she is yet.

I usually am the worst person when dealing with these situations, since I have a bit of a temper when I feel like I'm being shunned. If it were me, I would probably call them on their shit, to their face...but that's your choice to make.

Yeah, it sucks, and hurts, and you feel worthless. And while I totally support wallowing, make sure that you don't allow yourself to do it for too long (it's good to hear you're at least showering...). Given the amount of responses you get when you post things like this, it's obvious that people here care for your well-being - try not to forget that.

And if you ever need someone to vent to at 3AM, I'm usually on IM and willing to listen (or read, I guess).

[DarkInuLord]

Thanks guys, really, you've helped a lot but... I really can't let her go, I know I really do love her, not just puppy love or a crush, or like I feel obligated to be in love with her.

I'm currently in the process of stopping her from breaking up with me, over MSN, she said her mother has been telling her to break up with me recently, and that we would never work, and putting a bunch of bullshit ideas into her head.

We've made it a year, sure there's problems but no relationship is perfect, but other people telling her these things, and fuck her best friend said I threatened her life. (Not my girlfriend's, but her friend's life.) and that's complete fucking bullshit. She's been asked out already by a friend, she turned him down, that's a good thing, it means that what she said wasn't true.

I want to salvage this, I want her to just forget the thoughts that these other people are putting into her head, it's hard, I'm never good with words in a serious situation, I don't know what to say but I'm trying, she says that she wants to make it work as well, but then she brings up another person who says it won't, she's letting other people's opinions cloud her judgment, but she's still young and can't see that for herself, and... That's not something that you can easily tell a person, without them freaking out.

I... I really don't want 'take a break' and 'try again later' as she put it the first time, I want to make it work THIS time, I know I can't find anyone better, she's almost perfect besides her immaturity, but that's something she'll grow out of in time.

[greenwizard]

Hunny... listen to me closely. If she is saying how all these people say she should break up with you, it's probably her just trying to shift blame so you won't be angry at her. I've done it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Believe it or not I do know how you feel. You want to trust her and make it work so badly that you're ignoring repeated slaps in the face. And I'm not saying you don't actually love her. But she doesn't love you it would seem. You can't have a one sided relationship. If she really did love you she would tell her mother and friends to go fuck off. Girls her age have told their parents to fuck off over puppy love. She's using it as an excuse.

Let's look at the facts. She talks about other guys with you. She ignores you. She was online and didn't even say hello I love you. Now she's trying to break up with you and saying it's because her mom wants her to. It takes two people to make a relationship work. If she isn't willing to work on it than there really is no point.

I know it feels like you would never find another person like her. You feel like you'll be lonely the rest of your life. You feel like there would be no point to even living because no one will ever love you. Ringing a bell? But think about it. Did you feel that way before you met her?

It always feels like your world is crashing down around you because you can't see the future. There could very well be someone out there who is more perfect for you than that girl that you just haven't met yet. I know this because I've had to repeat it to myself over and over again at times to refrain from sliting my wrists.

And now I have my current boyfriend. There are days I feel the urge to bash his skull in with a frying pan... but then he gives me a strawberry poptart when I'm feeling down. You'd have to know him to know the significance of that. His mom tried to break us up. He wrestled his mom's girlfried to get out to meet me.

If you would have told me a month before I met him that he was out there somewhere I would have told you you were just trying to make me feel better. But here he is, only saying the word 'nope' to me because it amuses him. Grrrr.. But that is beside the point. You really need to just move on. I only have yim and aim, but I'll be around for a bit longer because I'm going to go start some beta work.

[Saitochan]

Thanks guys, really, you've helped a lot but... I really can't let her go, I know I really do love her, not just puppy love or a crush, or like I feel obligated to be in love with her.

I'm currently in the process of stopping her from breaking up with me, over MSN, she said her mother has been telling her to break up with me recently, and that we would never work, and putting a bunch of bullshit ideas into her head.

Hey man, does her mother have problems with you too or is she just making that up? (wouldn't be too surprised if she did). I agree with everyone else qhen they say she's trying to shift the blame from herself, and I also agree when they say you can't keep ignoring all the shit she's putting you through.

A little piece of advice? Try pouring all those feelings into something productive (like writing, or drawing, or whatever). A lot of people I know have written their best works while depressed over something. Even I did once. Try it, it might be a way to get it off your head, even if it is for a little while.

And if you want to try something else for the relationship, I suggest you act with indifference towards her (Just try it. Never hurts to try, right?) My guess is that, if she's not trying to get somebody else, she's trying to keep you at her mercy, and by the looks of it, she's done a great job at it. Don't let her manipulate your feelings like that.

I wish you the best of luck

[DarkInuLord]

Hey man, does her mother have problems with you too or is she just making that up?

Actually mommy loves me, she told me to call her "Mom" the first time I ever met her, and she calls me son. I guess... She just didn't think we would work. Her daughter isn't exactly the happiest person ever, she's really negative, even 'emo', and I'm uh... I'm a mushy romantic type, also I'm kinda clingy, lol. Not like, obsessive clingy, but when my girlfriend's with me I focus on just her and ignore other people.

:| Hm, I guess I can't say "My girlfriend" anymore... I'm not quite sure she's breaking up with me, I told her to think about it, and that she was letting other people get inside her head.

So.... I'll know for sure whenever she decides to talk to me again, if everything will be alright or if she's dumping my ass. =/

[Shinju]

I... I really don't want 'take a break' and 'try again later' as she put it the first time

In girl speak that means she wants to see other people. Seeing as this may be the issue, you should confront her about it outright by asking her if she wants to see other people.

[cu-kid9]

If she is blame shifting (which may or may not be true), then it's just a way to make herself feel less guilty over something she's already contemplating. If you believe that her actions are caused by someone else, then you're more likely to be angry at them, not her. The thing about advice is that it's kind of like playing a game of Telephone - what she is telling you that people have said may not be exactly what they said. I've noticed that, while people hear advice all day long, they rarely actually listen. It gets sifted to suit the receiver and, if by some miracle acted upon, very rarely comes out the way it was meant to. If the idea wasn't already in her head to do something, the odds that she would agree with such advice is kind of slim. If it comes down to it, don't place the blame on her breaking up with you on anyone else - they didn't break up with you, she did of her own free will.

And don't be dragged down by this idea that she's the only one out there for you! Seeing as how there are over 6 billion people in the world, the odds are kind of in your favor that you will meet someone else that is just as good...if not better - someone who won't cause you this heart-ache.

[Shinju]

And don't be dragged down by this idea that she's the only one out there for you! Seeing as how there are over 6 billion people in the world, the odds are kind of in your favor that you will meet someone else that is just as good...if not better - someone who won't cause you this heart-ache.

It's hard for people to buy that. Love is just like this thing that warps your reality. At least in my experience that's been the case. Icky stuff. I've never been too receptive to the idea. Never really "fallen" in love, actually. More kind of like "stepped" in it. Hopefully now I have the foresight to look where I'm walking.

[cu-kid9]

It's hard for people to buy that. Love is just like this thing that warps your reality. At least in my experience that's been the case. Icky stuff. I've never been too receptive to the idea. Never really "fallen" in love, actually. More kind of like "stepped" in it. Hopefully now I have the foresight to look where I'm walking.

*snickers* Ruin a perfectly good pair of shoes that way...

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally a closet romantic and the idea that there is one person out there that will be a perfect match is a lovely one. And I know all about having reality warped - it's how I managed to stay in a crap-ass excuse for a relationship for three years. Perhaps it's experience and time that have convinced me that "the one" is a great idea for a movie, but is realistically flawed.

[Shinju]

And I know all about having reality warped - it's how I managed to stay in a crap-ass excuse for a relationship for three years.

I feel you on that one.

[DarkInuLord]

Blargh, and now I'm waiting to see if she gets on today to either tell me A) "Fuck those other people, let's do this." or "I'm dumping you because mom told me to.". =/

And I know you said not to blame other people, but mom HAS been saying we wouldn't work, at least for a while, she asked me about it once and I'm sure I just kept telling her it would, I don't really remember...