The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Thread, Understanding Obsessive Compulsive Disorders

[Shinju]

Yes, I know I made the topic description sound overly fun, but it's not really. Do you or have you had an OCD? This is the thread to talk about your OCD. Explain, in detail what your OCD is about and the problems it causes/caused in your every day life.

*~oOo~*

Shinju's Imaginary interview about her OCD:

Imaginary Interviewer: So, Shinju, I hear you have an OCD. Do you happen to know the name of your OCD?

Shinju: Why, yes, yes I do. It's called trichotillomania.

Imaginary Interviewer: Wtf? That sounds like a pretty long fucking name. What the hell does it mean???

Shinju: Well, the word trichotillomania (a.k.a: TTM, trich) is derived from the Greek words thrix, tillein and mania, which can be translated to "hair pulling madness."

Imaginary Interviewer: Wtf???

Shinju: It's an obsessive compulsive disorder where you feel the need to pull all your hair out, strand by strand, by the roots, at all times of the day.

Imaginary Interviewer: Wow, that sounds disgusting. Are you sure you didn't just make that up?

Shinju: Yes, I'm sure, and it's not quite as rare as one might think. Scientists guesstimate that it affects about 1-3% of the population.

Imaginary Interviewer: But you have such long, beautiful hair, wouldn't that be impossible if you pulled it all out?

Shinju: Hahaha, thanks, I am currently in remission. Although last year I had a six month on and off relapse, I've been pull free since mid-January and before that I was pull free for six years.

Imaginary Interviewer: In remission? Wouldn't that mean you no longer have it and are cured?

Shinju: No, not at all. The urges never, ever go away. I feel the need to pull my hair out every day all the time and constantly find myself nearly going through the motions without realizing it, but stop myself with sheer, super-human willpower. In fact, I don't know how I actually function throughout the day constantly thinking about pulling my hair and fighting it off, but through the grace of God, I somehow make it by.

Imaginary Interviewer: Erg . . . isn't there some kind of medicine you can take for that?

Shinju: Doctors have prescribed antidepressants, but they don't really work too well in that department for me and I hear they have only a so-so success rate for treating trich in general.

Imaginary Interviewer: Now you said earlier that obsessive hair pulling is not as rare as one might think? How can this be true when I've never heard of it before??? Do you know anyone else who pulls their hair?

Shinju: Yes, over my lifetime I have met two other people, both female, who are/were hair pullers. It's not something you generally talk about you kind of really discover it by accident.

Imaginary Interviewer: Why don't you see a bunch of bald people walking around then?

Shinju: Some of us pull in places that can be easily covered up, or hidden to an extent, others wear hair covers or hats. In more serious cases, people have been known to wear wigs or get extensions and in that case it is really hard to tell. Some salons even specialize in treating trichotillomaniacs.

Imaginary Interviewer: Have you ever had to wear a wig or get extensions?

Shinju: No. Although at times, it has gotten to the point wear people have noticed, I've usually been able to hide it or wear a hat or something.

Imaginary Interviewer: That sounds pretty non-serious. I guess when you pull it really doesn't affect your life much, does it?

Shinju: Yes it does. There's been some points in my life where you could run your hand along the carpet and just pick up handfuls of my hair, which, by the way, gets stuck in the vacuum, which then needs to be fixed by pulling all the hair out of the vacuum, and the entire place will smell like vacuum cleaner and burnt hair for about an hour. Anyone I've lived with has kindly never said anything about hair related vacuum problems.

Imaginary Interviewer: Wow, that sounds ridiculous. Why can't someone with trich just stop?

Shinju: That's a very easy thing to say when you don't have an OCD. You see, scientists are discovering that OCDs are caused by insufficient levels of serotonin in the brain, a chemical which, among other things, helps regulate impulse control. It is particularly hard to treat trich because this particular OCD may also be due to decreased cerebellar volume. That's the part of your brain that is the closest to the back of your neck.

Imaginary Interviewer: How old were you when you first started pulling?

Shinju: Six.

Imaginary Interviewer: Why did you start?

Shinju: I was curious to see what my hair would look like if I pulled it out.

Imaginary Interviewer: Why couldn't you stop?

Shinju: I have no idea.

Imaginary Interviewer: You said that the other two people you have met with this condition were female, are all trichs female?

Shinju: No. I believe I read somewhere that the ratio for trichotillomania in male and female children was about 1:1, but the number of women to men get's higher as age increases.

Imaginary Interviewer: When did you first know that you had a problem?

Shinju: When my mother first started yelling at me for having bald patches. At first, she thought it was hair loss caused by anxiety caused by my brothers constantly and unceasingly making fun of me all the time every day. I'm not sure how the truth came out, but it did. I remember every time we visited my aunt, who is a hairdresser, she would point it out to all my female relatives and they would talk about their theories as to why I was bald, or later, why I would pull, like I wasn't even there.

Imaginary Interviewer: How did you stop?

Shinju: At first I had no idea. When I was 16 I was just able to stop. I later found out that around that time, my mother had been praying the Rosary every day for me to stop.

Imaginary Interviewer: Do you think that had anything to do with your stopping?

Shinju: Could be. Stranger things have happened to me, so I can buy that.

Imaginary Interviewer: Why did you start again last year?

Shinju: Hey, look, it was a very stressful time in my life, okay?

Imaginary Interviewer: Do you want to talk about it?

Shinju: Erm, another time perhaps . . .

Imaginary Interviewer: Were you ever treated by a doctor for your trich?

Shinju: Yes. When I was little my mom would take me to the family physician, who was a moron. He prescribed me anti-itch cream. Later, when I was about 14 or so, the doctors and therapists, who still had never heard of what I had nor ever treated anyone with it, figured it was an OCD and prescribed me anti-depressants.

Imaginary Interviewer: If your doctors didn't know what the fuck you had, how did you discover that your condition had a name?

Shinju: When I was seventeen, a year after I had stopped pulling, I saw a small blurb in Seventeen magazine about it. I was shocked to discover that the people working at Seventeen magazine could do better research than my doctors.

Imaginary Interviewer: Well, in closing, do you have anything to say to others who might be suffering with OCDs?

Shinju: Yes, stay strong and my hopes are with you!

Peace out!

*~oOo~*

[greenwizard]

I have small stupid compulsions that drive me crazy at times, but don't affect my life all that much. For one, I am a list maker. A lot of people use lists as a productive tool. I just do it. I got a baby name book and made lists of names I liked over and over. I had a certain way I did it too. It had to be done that way. Then I started going through catalogues to make lists of what I wanted to buy and writing down the price. I'd pretend like I was actually going to buy them, then I would add it all up.

The way this affected me the most was in math class when we did word problems. The teacher wanted us to write an equation and solve the problem. Me... oh no... my brain doesn't work that way. I had to draw little diagrams and lists and do it the hard way. It could take me up to 20 mins per word problem! And even though I'd get the right answer, the teacher would mark it wrong because I didn't solve it the way he or she wanted. It frustrated me to no end.

I also like to organize. I like incense, and I'll order like 15 packs at a time from my favorite site. I will arrange them in alphabetical order, and use them in that order. I want to scream when my boyfriend will just randomly pick up a pack and take a stick. I eventually had to learn to let it go. But I can't let it go if he messes up the order. He'll mix them up and pin me to the bed so I can't go fix it. He actually had me in tears one night.

Oh, and I made a list for that too. I wrote down all the scents I want to get and I arranged them in a special way and I will but them in that order.

I don't pull hair, but I knew someone who did. A girl that was in my class would pull her hair when the other kids teased her. She started in the first grade. They'd tease her just to get her to pull her hair. She stopped around the 4th or 5th grade, so I guess her parents took her to someone that helped her.

She still had other symptoms such as she ate the same thing for lunch every day in the same order. She didn't like to try anything new either.

[hanyou-elf]

my clothes have to be organized in just the right way. my socks are all matched, my shirts all folded, and my pants folded in half, and folded in half again.

my candies have to be organized in just the perfect order. my m&m's have to be seperated and eaten in two's. the same with skittles and kisses and any other kind of candy in general that's color coordinated. and it's worse when there are easter m&m's. they have to be seperated by color and design.

when i do dishes, they have to be done in a very specific order. plates, bowls, cups, silverware, pots, pans. if they aren't done in order, i can't do them.

i have to have all the doors in my home closed. for no reason in particular other than i need them to be closed.

i have to have all of my things organized into folders within folders.

i have to have my blankets at the same end every time. the part of the blanket that goes at my head, i tore a hole in so that i would be able to distinguish it from the foot-end.

there's not really any particular reasons behind the ocd-ness, it's just getting progressively worse as i get older. i'm afraid of what it's going to develop into....

[DuranDuranfan]

With my OCD's, I may have just cornered the market.....

Lists: I have to make them, or else I might forget something.

Placement of things: I hate clutter! If I can't find something because it's been moved, that drives me insane! Especially whenever I'm at work, and get stuck doing the dishes. If someone else has been there, and I don't like where they put things, or things are just chock-a-block, I want to pull my hair out!

Music: This is a biggie. I hate overplayed crap! Hearing the same songs three or four times a day, especially if the songs suck donkey balls, is NOT COOL! I also hate it when I song I don't like gets stuck in my and repeats on a endless loop(this is commonly referred to as an earworm).

[Avarion]

I don't think any of my habits can really be considered obsessive compulsive since I'm naturally territorial and possessive, but I suppose anybody who doesn't know me will assume I have OCD.

Things in their rightful places: I went to the trouble of reorganising a few cupboards in the kitchen some time ago. Everything was grouped together in a specific order, red wine glasses, white wine glasses, sherry glasses and so forth, etc. Later that evening I sat down with my family for dinner, and we used some of the glasses. My step dad washed up and my sister put everything back in the cupboards, but she put the glasses upside down and in the wrong order. When I saw what she'd done I completely flipped out. My parents are a bit more sensitive towards this compulsion because they know how badly it winds me up, but my sister wasn't, and still isn't, aware of how much it bothers me.

Symmetry: I hate things that aren't symmetrical. Where possible, everything has to be symmetrical. I've noticed that this compulsion is much, much worse whenever I play The Sims. Every house I build seems to follow the same fundamental design because diverging from symmetry feels so corrupt.

Checking the contents of my bag: This is similar to checking if the front door is locked, although I don't do the latter. Even when I know that I've packed absolutely everything that I think I might need if I'm going somewhere or staying over at a friend's house, I can't help but take everything out of my bag before re-packing it. Sometimes I can't shake off my own uncertainty that this happens several times, and I still feel uneasy for about an hour afterwards.

Doing things in a certain order: This is perhaps the most varied compulsion that spans from doing my make-up to brewing a cup of tea. If something disrupts the order, I either have to start all over again (where possible) or carry on and find a way to calm my agitation.

[Guest Jaxxy]

Urgh... see, my OCD is so "moderate" that my doctor "didn't see fit to give me 'another' diagnosis"! I'm not so sure that is as encouraging (or helpful) as he hoped.

If I use the microwave, or the television, or anything with numbers... it's like, I've got to have the sequence I program in add up to nine (TV channels as well as volume setting). Even if I'm on the puter resizing pics, yep, the pixels must add to nine, too. If I'm feeling really adventurous, I can "break the cycle" and force myself to have the numbers add to seven! (That's something I manage to feel proud of when I can do it.)

And... I kiss things (my doctor thought this was "cute"... wth, I was/am so embarrassed about that one that I'm forcing myself to type it here, ten years later). Like, if I'm reading a book, I have to kiss my fingertip and touch the last word I read, and my finger has to be the last thing to've touched the page, and, that word has to stay the last one I read (even by mistake), or I've "ruined everything" and have to do it again. I even have to kiss my cockatiel just the right number of times -- you guessed it, nine! And again, if I "do it wrong", I have to go back... and back and back, and I'll do it no matter if I'm late for wherever I was going, or if I'm dead exhausted and headed to bed.

...I even blow kisses at... random things, out in public. The "why" of the subjects I've chosen is not always clear. I try to hide it of course, and haven't been "caught" yet. If I do get caught, I might just pretend I was picking my nose -- that would be less embarrassing to me!

And, typos? lol, punch me in the eye first. I can't bear it when I've typed incorrectly. Or even the formatting of a post, like here... this paragraph is actually being added because I just noticed that this is the sixth-or-so time I've previewed and read my post! And the spellchecking... oh, the humanity. (The good news? I'll probably stop at nine edits. )

You know, I've wondered... when does this OCD habit get worse with other people? It doesn't make sense to me, but mine kicks in when I'm more "on top of things" in my life (like, if I've let too many things slide and I'm anxious about it, I do my OCD things less often.) It's almost like it kicks into high gear as soon as I'm being proactive and getting all my ducks in a row, like when I've seen all my doctors and made all of my appointments and paid all my bills -- it's frustrating, cause it's almost like... "Okay, I took care of such-and-such so I would be less uptight... wtf mate?"

It makes me not want to try. Or think that "letting it happen" is healthier, like grieving or something. But for hair-pulling and whatnot that's going to be far less true... I wonder if there's a difference.

Ohh, by the way, this comedienne, Maria Bamford, does a VERY funny stand-up about OCD (and many things). She's the skinny blonde lady with the funny high-ish voice... the OCD part of her act was something like her singing (creepily) "If I clean the kitchen floor, nobody will die..." I highly reccomend it for therapeutic value as well as a good "pmsl" momentito (but I can't find the clip -- almost positive it was on YouTube... ) !