Review Replies for "Driven to Distraction" by Raymy

[Raymy]

I neglected to give replies to most of my reviews while writing this, even though there are a few times I commented in my Author notes. I can only say in my defence, that it was my first story and I didn’t know any better. Now, I’m inclined to reply, hoping it’s not too late. I’ve received a few more reviews since I finished this fic and thought I’d make a cozy space to respond to those new readers.

First, I’ll post the original reviews “as I wrote” and add extra comments.

satterb wrote on 2012-10-11:

This was really good. Nice try for a first time. It's a perfect place to stop if you're not going to finish. Go any further and your readers might be upset if you let the story drop. Using an outline for your story is a big help in planning how you want it to roll. I think you have some talent. Good luck in the future.

A/N in chapter 5: Thanks to satterb’s reviews, I made an outline and there are three more chapters.

Added today: Thanks for being my first reviewer. You gave good concrit. and flattering praise.

satterb wrote on 2012-10-12:

Renji is so cute in this story. I look forward to more. I'm glad you found your muse. Thanks for all your hard work.

Added today: Your so welcome. Your interest is very motivational.

[Raymy]

FicticiousDelicious wrote on 2012-10-19:

Chap 1 - I'm not the best at reviewing works but reading them is so fun! All I have to do now is translate thought into word...So here we go! There's just something about men with long hair...it brings such a sensational image to mind. I always liked the idea of Renji with his hair down, and "cascading" as it's taken down, ABSOLUTELY! *swoon* Your first chapter has definitely painted good mental pictures in my mind, and their personalities I want to know more of! I'm thinking Byakuya is more confident than Renji. The way Renji's stuttering a little and trying not to be too forward stirs my curiosity, is he a shy boy? Maaaybe...maybe not... *squirms* I think it's up to Byakuya to loosen Renji up a bit. :3 Hee Hee. I relate to dancing (like Byakuya mentioned) to express the self, definitely a good point made there. I can't wait to read chapter 2...in fact if I can stay awake I might just do that! :3

A/N in chapter 6: ciouscious: thanks for reviewing. I know you’re on Chap.1 but you’ll read this eventually. I don’t think Renji is shy but extremely self-conscious around Byakuya. Also, maybe lacking in confidence on some issues. As for the hair, I have two beautiful artworks of each with their hair down as my desktop wallpaper. With chests bare, they provide plenty of inspiration.

FicticiousDelicious wrote on 2012-10-22

Chap 2 - "Guffaw" this word gets a gold star...I am most serious about that. I love that word.

Byakuya as a dancer, I picture such an elegant display of careful fluid movements mixed with long trailing black hair. What a beautiful thought that instils. He also seems very cautious, not wanting anyone from Seireitei to catch him dancing (which begs the question, will some one see him?).

Aww, Poor Renji tripping on the rug, me thinks he's a little tense...and then they hit the shower/bath to get clean just to turn around and get dirty. :3 I think this chapter has confirmed my guess about Byakuya being more composed/confident, I can't wait to see how Renji handles this (with seemingly little experience), should be a most delicious adventure for him.

One chapter compels you to write another and another and another, keep going! I love this story. :3

Added today: I like that you like “Guffaw”. I comment on it in my wrap-up cheer. Since this was short fic, I didn’t think about explaining all the elements of the story. No one sees Bya dancing (other than Renji, Ichigo, and Jushiro). Yes, Bya is more confident than Ren. It seems that way in canon, don’t you think?

FicticiousDelicious wrote on 2012-10-23

Chap 3 - Posting many chapters at once can be a good thing, it gives readers more to read if the chapters are short. It could also lessen the number of views you get for your story but to some writers that isn't a main concern. *shrug* We your faithful readers sure don't shun you for giving us a bunch of chapters to read!

Added today: And you posting a bunch of reviews at once gave me a lot to read, too. I do check views, but I haven’t been disheartened by them. Maybe I don’t have too high of expectations.

Chap 3 - (cont...)

I often avoid stories with a first person perspective because of series characters being paired with non-series characters (such as people's personally created characters). Maybe that's just me having bad experiences with these types of stories but pah! The first person perspective you use (and switching off between characters) is muy bien! It captures my interest and definitely avoids annoying me because the inner thoughts from the perspective are relevant and at times amusing.

I agree with Byakuya *raises hand* Renji's tattoos are VERY fitting. Washing each other in the shower is such an endearing, sweet concept. I sense the wrecking of the bed in the next chapter, must read more! :3

Added today: Your senses are working perfectly - bed wrecking to come. Thanks for the opinion on first person narrative. I was hoping I’d get some concrit on that.

Chap 4 - Oooohhhh boy...making a mess is such a good thing. Byakuya is hard and in charge, but he's still conscientious in a caring sort of way - which I appreciate because it makes him into more than a sex crazed man. "Conscientious" was the first word that came to mind but perhaps "thoughtful" is a better one.

Subordination assumes two forms in my mind after reading this chapter; one work oriented and the other in their blossoming sexual relationship, the progression of the non-work type interests me. Perhaps the two types will have to merge together [in some way] in order to keep them together? At least Byakuya doesn't seem interested in "using" (for the worse) Renji in his subordinate position, that would be a twist but upsetting at the same time.

Poor Byakuya has a moment of internal conflict before Renji makes him laugh, that is just a perfect scene. Definitely heartwarming and still on-track with the events. Overall this chapter made me feel warm and fuzzy about their newly developing type of relationship, a very good read. I expected wild sex from this chapter but I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't come just yet.

Added today: Yeah, I put a cock ring on your excitement. The dom/sub thing is not too exaggerated. But it got me thinking about a scene in my current story, The War Within. They may make an appearance, again.

Chap 5 - System of punishment as roleplay, tee hee, exciting says I!

There is a definite passion between these two, and their playfulness is just too cute (in such an enticing and amusing way)! Renji's so tender and sweet toward Byakuya after they've finished their love-making, cleaning him up, tucking him in and cuddling. No wonder Byakuya thinks time with Renji is better (it makes me wonder what dancing together with Renji might make him think).

*cuddles up to your beautiful writing and smothers it with praise* Likie this chapter a lot! Yum yum!

Added today: Slow dancing might be good but Renji’s a robot with fast dancing. See Chapter 1. You give me a swelling in my head. It feels goooood.

Chap 6 - I have caught up! Yus! *pelvic thrust then steadies game face*

After reading more chapter I see what you mean, I hope Byakuya can help Renji with that self-conscious feeling. Renji is turning out to be a very cute character. *swoons at the happy thought of bare chested men with long, flowing hair*

Why can I see Byakuya's "gimmie space face" ending in him [unintentionally] slamming the door in Renji's face? Pah! Apparently though Renji isn't one to camp outside the door until Bya comes back out. I was about to say that's not a good or bad thing but considering the way Renji comes back to Bya once making contact is again ok seems to mean he isn't disheartened from "gimmie space", that's actually a really good thing so long as Byakuya doesn't get irritated. "...less fire in my loins, more snuggle in my heart." excellent qualification for Renji's affectionate attitude.

Lies?! I think Renji's being a bit too forthcoming but the sooner the better I suppose. Withholding truths can make a mess of a relationship.

At least Renji was willing to confess, Byakuya you have some mystery about you! *crosses arms* Bya you better be there when Renji gets back... *grumbles* Even toward Renji Bya closes off, it makes me think the worst. Maybe something embarrassing or horrific happened...I am staying tuned for next chapter! :3

A/N in chapter 7: WOWSERS! TicLic, your reviews plastered a big grin on my face for the whole day. I read two before going to bed and then woke up to three more! You’re so sweet for reviewing every chapter. Added today: Bya’s “gimmie space” was only because he was worried and needed to think. I don’t think he considered that he might hurt Renji’s feelings. Luckily, Ren didn’t take it personally, but considered that he might be too clingy and needed to allow the space. That didn’t stop him from sharing all his intimate details on the first date. Who does that? Not Byakuya, who felt there would be better moments to talk about sensitive issues.

[Raymy]

FicticiousDelicious wrote on 2012-10-25

Chap 7 - :3 I'm glad my reviews could bring you such a grin!

Awwww! It was the worst thing imaginable! *smacks forehead and falls backward off her perch on the couch* I kept reading this whole turn around and cold splash of reality on Renji from Bya had me in knots. Suspenseful! Wonderful! Yet so painful! Renji snarled at Byakuya...that is NOT a good sign. He's very hurt by this, I can feel his pain by how he's acting, and from the after effects Byakuya is hurting nearly just as badly. Ukitake is so kind to comfort Bya in his despairing time.

I love how hard times can really bring out just how much a person cares for another (Renji cares for Byakuya). Ukitake is very respectful about Byakuya needing a little breathing space at the end of the chapter, that made me very happy, Juu is very accepting and takes the turning of events well. :3

Make-up smex?! Yum yum! Still stayin' tuned! Keep it up!

A/N in Chapter 8: TicLic: I'm so glad you review every chapter, cause it only takes one person to share with to keep my spirits up. I feel like I'm writing just for you. Well, and me, of course. Us, then. I know there are other readers, I see the hits go up, but the interaction between reader and writer is highly underplayed. No, I mean under utilized. Whatever. Hope you like this chapter. Added today: Bya’s reticence backfired! Ren is hypersensitive. They got some issues to work through. Ukitake is the most mature Bleach character I know. But he has his weaknesses, just not in this story

FicticiousDelicious wrote on 2012-11-02

Chap 8 - It seems Renji's run from the room to clear his head so he wouldn't be fooled by some act, if any was present. A wise move but so very saddening. Sharing a lover is no fun at all; I can definitely empathize with Renji's frustrations, and the way he's handling his feels makes sense. Renji appears clever or at least suspicious about breaking down that note. Suspicion can lead to false assumptions though, and we only know some truths about the note from Bya and Juu's conversation but Renji has a plethora of ideas stemming from that note. Hopefully when Byakuya and him talk about it again he doesn't blurt out some theory he'd regret later.

Awww man...missin' the hair-tie...that is one of the most pesky things to be without if you need one. x3 That beside frustration just makes the frustration even worse.

Hana and that tattoo...*dies of laughter* oh that poor guy... Oddly enough I can picture Shuuhei as a tattoo artist. I appreciate Shuu's noted of habit of gathering facts before crafting an opinion; that is an important skill. He seems like the perfect person for Renji to confide in. But wait...oh f*ck...SHUUHEI!!!!!! *rages and clears her desk of papers in one fell swoop* After finishing the chapter... *restacks papers on her desk* that unexpected HORNY Shuuhei has definitely proven himself to make use of interesting tactics to pull Renji from his gloom. I can't say I nod my head and cheer at the use of flirting but it's a little adorable I won't lie. :3 Poor Renji standing awkwardly there with people watching and in complete bewilderment for those moments. I sense a turn of events 'round the bend.

Prequel?! That I will nod to! I can't wait to read how Renji and Byakuya make up after this severe blow. *cheers* Keep a' typin'! Me wanna read moar!

A/N in Chapter 9: TicLic: Your reviews are amazing, thanks for keeping me going. Added today: I reiterate my previous sentiment. This review was so fun to read. I agree about Shuuhei’s personality, making him my first choice in my current story “to be messed with”. Heh, heh.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Raymy

[Raymy]

botticelliangel wrote on 2012-11-16:

Oh wow... you can write some hot lovin! I really enjoyed the first five chapters a lot. And then I started to get a little lost in Chapter 6 because I actually don't know anything about Bleach. However, your writing style is solid, and entertaining. I especially loved the little scene of teaching Byakuya to talk dirty. Very good. The only suggestion I would make is for Chapter 5. I liked the way you switched pov between chapters, but it seemed a little startling to do it in the middle of the chapter, especially because you announced it. Even though they were parts of the same scene I almost feel like it should have been split into two mini chapters to keep with the previous trend in the story.

Anyways, wonderful job!

AFF Forum PM: I really appreciate that you took the time to give me some con. crit. for my story even though you don't know the fandom. I friended you because of it. Added today: I see your point about the p.o.v. switch mid chapter. Screws with the flow. I’m not doing that type of narrative again. It was interesting but hard to describe everything that was needed.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Raymy

[Raymy]

FicticiousDelicious wrote on 2012-11-17

Chap 9 - You are most welcome! I am thoroughly enjoying every chapter of this story I read. I dun want it to end! D:

Don't loose hope Bya! *cheers him on* "Mouthful of canary"...*tries not to laugh obnoxiously and fails* Hee Hee! I would have bonked Shuuehi on the head so hard he'd have had trouble remembering anything just for laughing if I were Bayakuya. That must be a slow butterfly, it is time to play musical houses!

Awww, Renji knows what Bya likes. So sexy! That silly guy kinda sortta drifted off while he was waiting. It does a heart good to hear them making up. I'm glad Renji acknowledged his aggression as something he shouldn't have let get a strong hold of him before. "Moving forward" is a great concept!

Renji crying during their love making was touching but a tense moment for me to read. I was nervous hoping he wasn't breaking down (in a bad way). That was some hot love between those two! Whew! And extra points for Renji being on bottom. *wink*

That was a wonderful ending, it made me smile and gave warm fuzzies. They really do care for each other and that is a beautiful thing. I am wondering a bit about what Renji's final thoughts could lead to.

The feeling is mutual; repeating words when I write, and I can tell when I do it, drives me bonkers. I love that poem! Tee Hee *giggles* I hope I get to read more of your writing! It brightens my day to read excellent stories with interesting themes, and your writing is MOST EXCELLENT!

Added today: “hear them make up” made me think they must have been pretty loud. You’re the second person who prefers Renji on the bottom. I like both, but yeah, strong muscular men on the bottom is a turn on, a theme that will repeat itself in The War Within. Oh, and Renji’s final thoughts, could also come back to haunt him in TWW. Your praise lifts me up, and I float away on a breeze.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Raymy

[Raymy]

stillkisseswithsaliva wrote on 2013-01-14:

loved this story!! my fav bleach pairing! i wouldn't have minded if it were longer but for a shorter multi chapter it went just how i like my Bya/Ren fics to go! so hot but still with a plot, switching, a little angst & a happy ending = perfect! lol you should definitely do more! (you really should try that juu, ren, bya-kun oneshot maybe as a dream of renji's or something lol) & some ikkaku/yumi!

Added today: You have given me inspiration to add to my current story. Not strictly a oneshot, although some could argue that my chapters in The War Within are more like one-two shots. I even thought of a scenario to include Ikkaku and Yumi. Group sex, anyone?

Benihime1231 wrote on 2013-01-27:

Not A BAD STORY... Thanks for this one :-)

Added today: And thank you for reading and taking time to leave a review. I do appreciate it.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Raymy

[Raymy]

whitetiger9953 wrote on 2013-03-07:

I ran across a review you posted in someone's story and decided to check you out. Dear lord, you can write. I'm in aw of the way you portrayed Renji and Baya. I loved the way Baya used dancing as a release from his stressful life. I also agree that Ichigo, though sensual in his own right, was not the perfect fit for this wonderful story. The hotel scene was hot, steamy and well written. I almost cried during the fight after as Renji ran away in pain and Baya stood there reaching out to him. (sniffle) I like that Jushiro was so calm and understanding in the way he helped Baya to understand his role in the fight, and Hisagi? What can I say, perversion fits him.

That just leaves us with the last chapter. Hot, Hot, Hot!! I really like it when Renji is on bottom. Don't get me wrong, Baya is sexy as hell while spread out for Renji, but Renji has a sensual 'Take Me' vibe that can take over any scene. Mmmmmm..(clears throat) sorry got lost in a daydream.

I will be looking through your other writings after this, and going through your favorites list. Thank you very much for posting this story.

Added today: Well, I’m grinning from ear to ear. What a flattering review. And yeah, I got lost in many daydreams while writing it. Still have that problem, making the sexy chapters the hardest to write. I hope you’d like to read The War Within. It’s still in its infancy but I hope that it will be exciting once it gets going.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Raymy

[Raymy]

Khallsnea wrote on 2013-03-29:

Now the image of a damn hot Captain Kuchiki dancing in the dance floor has been permanently imprinted in my head! And Renji just drooling and thinking about joining? And the part where they were talking it’s really fun. I can perfectly imagine Renji’s face all red with embarrassment. I’m dying to know what’s going to happen in the hotel!

And you’re just at the first chapter! Are you going to review each one separately? Yeah, Kuchiki dancing was my inspiration for beginning the story. I could just see his fluid moves and demure expression. Understated sexy! Thanks for reading my story. I'm dying to know what you think of the rest.

Khallsnea wrote on 2013-03-30:

I had planned to write a review for each chapter… but I failed miserably. I started reading the second one, waiting for the ‘party’ to start but you cut the chapter when they were going to the shower! I couldn’t pause and ran to the next one. And when I realized, I had read until chapter 5!!
Your descriptions of Renji and Byakuya are so cute that I think I’m going to read the next chapters right away.
I especially like the way you change between their respective POV. It’s interesting to see both sides of the story. It looks like they had found a partner for more than a random night.

What a compliment that you couldn't stop reading! I know when that happens to me, I'm really enjoying the story. I had to develop some kind of plot or arc so I decided on a long held, but unfulfilled longing for the two as a backstory. It's cliche, but I like it.

Edited March 30, 2013 by Raymy

[Raymy]

kurahieiritrJIO wrote on 2013-05-26:

An interesting contrast of character for Captain Byakuya Kuchiki. I could see him needing a change of pace and I like the idea of his choice in dancing. I can see how it would be a forbidden pleasure to cut loose for someone like himself. I could not picture who the characters were until Byakuya told Renji to call him by name. Then everything began to click. I'll admit that I saw him in his uniform once my mind reflected back upon his dancing. Perhaps if Renji had thought about how Byakuya was dressed I would not have gotten that specific image of his Captain's uniform. Overall, I like the way Renji was reacting and thinking. Time to read the next chapter. Keep writing.

I know I only mentioned that Bya was in human clothes without specifying what exactly he was wearing. I'm afraid that is something I have difficulty with and has been mentioned before. Scene descriptions is something I tend to skip past when reading stories. I don't know why. I enjoy those details when I watch movies or anime but don't like reading it in a book. So that is why I'm still struggling to remember to include such things when I write.

Thanks for reading and reviewing with concrit. I really appreciate when readers take time to think of something special to say.

I have been pleased to see the intimacy angle that this story has mixed into the sex. Few writers include the emotional give and take that you have provided. Such intimacy makes the reading more enjoyable. Thanks for that addition.

I sometimes enjoy a lack of intimacy in stories but for my own, I tend to want some rationale for behaviour. I'm glad my viewpoint appeals to you enough to comment on it.

Shaking my head over Renji's bad case of foot in mouth syndrome. It fits his personality quite well. I can see how he would be a player as I read the chapter and his various exploits. I even chuckled in a couple of places. Thanks for the entertaining reading.

It is really like Renji to blurt stuff out before thinking. I was surprised to see you thought I portrayed him as a player. I didn't think his history was excessive but somewhat reserved, considering his lifespan. I'll have to reread my story and perhaps revise it to fit more in line with what I was trying to project. But thanks for your impressions. I like when readers make me think about the message I'm conveying. I'm also very appreciative of your time in reviewing me.