Judging People

[greenwizard]

Ok, new rant for me. Is it really fair to judge someone presently for what they did in the past? I mean, I've done things I'm not proud of, though I won't go into detail. I personally think I shouldn't still be held accountable. I mean it was a REALLY long time ago people!

I've learned from my past mistakes. I'm not entirely the same person I was then. But some people won't give me a chance... I have to say it really pisses me off. Why bother to change at all?

[DarkInuLord]

Well I s'pose it varies.

If there was something really bad, that was covered up,and people just figure out about it, I guess it's okay to 'judge' them a little, by it. Like some things my dad did, that the family buried before I was born.

But if it's small things, I don't think people should be judged too long after it happens. =/

[shinigamiinochi]

i think that as long as you're sorry about it, then no one should judge you. I mean, if you did something bad a very long time ago, but didn't have any guilt over it, then, yeah, people should be able to judge you. But, having someone judge you for something that you are really sorry for isn't fair. You know what you did was bad, you don't need other people stating that as well.

[PretentiousArtWhore]

I think people should be judged as the person they are, not for something they did when they were young and/or foolish. Believe me, I did a lot of stupid shit when I was young. (surprisingly, people only seem to judge me because of my appearance and my religion, not because of anything I did in the past.)

[foeofthelance]

"Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."---Enough famous people that I'm not going to bother.

Personally, I think it depends on what was done. Knocked over a liquor store when you were 14 because you were young and stupid? That I can forgive. Got an abortion? That I can't judge; I have not and never will be in a position to make a decision like that, seeing as how I'm male. Found out you got your girlfriend pregnant and dumped her so your sorry ass could run for the hills? That I wouldn't be able to forgive, not unless you went crawling back to her, begging for forgiveness the next week, and yes, it would be time sensitive with a very small window. I'm big on the idea of personal responsibility. If you made a mistake, you should own up to it. You should also try to set right the mistake that you made. That said, we're all human, and mistakes will be made. The only reason not to be forgiven is if you did lasting, permanent harm, or if you were doing it out of a purely selfish motive.

[Guest Zyx]

The "now" is an abstract thing. Therefore, if we cannot judge people by their actions in the past we must treat all people equally. This makes no sense at all.

[shinigamiinochi]

or, you know, you could just look at how people are now instead of something that happened many years ago. My friend was severly depressed when she was younger, but now she's an adjusted person. So, instead of seeing her as a depressed person, I do the logical thing, and look at her as she is now.

[Juno]

I'm big on the idea of personal responsibility. If you made a mistake, you should own up to it. You should also try to set right the mistake that you made. That said, we're all human, and mistakes will be made. The only reason not to be forgiven is if you did lasting, permanent harm, or if you were doing it out of a purely selfish motive.

Agreed.

There is no such thing as the past or future; we only live in the present. The past only "exists" because we have memory of it, and the future is never a definitive possibility. Too many things can affect the future for you to set it in stone, and the past is only culminated in how it affects your present. If your past has affected and changed you, then it has. No one can say you are "wrong" being the way you are, essentially judging you because of your past. You are the precipice of your experiences. We are all defined by our past. How can you possibly judge someone on their cause of existence in the first place?

[Kanashii]

Yeah judging people sucks. It does...

Sadly it goes on all the time. Put in our heads by the media, our parents our upbringing or even just our own brains.

Judging against overweight people, people of color or a certain ethnic background, judging of peoples sexual orientation (or celibacy) judging of peoples disabilities.

It all sucks, sadly it will never change. (I'm old and grumpy and in a crabby mood). All you can do against the pre-judging that goes on all around us is the following...

1) Be true to yourself. Be your own person and be honest with yourself. Don't be a "pretender".

2) Follow the "Golden Rule"...That great Karmic flow of the universe...Treat others how you want to be treated, be honest, be compassionate, don't disrespect your friends or loved ones, harm none. Yada, yada, yada...

3) If you do screw up (and we ALL do)...Don't play "victim" or "poor me"...Own up to it. Say, "Yes, I did this, I apologize if I harmed you" and then FIX it.

4) Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words. If you say your a loyal friend but then turn around and spred gossip, well....That's hypocritical now, ain't it? Act as you want people to see you and treat you.

5) Ignore the arseholes. There will ALWAYS be someone who will pre-judge you on something or hold a past wrong-doing over your head. Move on. See numbers 1-4 above. Whining how the world is treating you unfairly won't help you. Move on, stay away from those who are negative and live your life as a positive person who will make a POSITIVE impact on the life you lead.

Old person's lecture is now done.

[Lost_Soul]

Hmm... well, I'm one who forgives and forgets. But, I would be suspicous about the person doing it again. I mean, I will give chances to everyone, but once you have screwed me over twice, I will just go my own way. I mean, I'm not trying to be mean or anything but seriously... you should learn from your mistakes and be a better person from it. I'm not going to deal with the crap again especially when I know I have given the person many chances to change themselves. >_> It just shows me that the person isn't willign to change for the better and stay in their own destructive manner, whatever that may be. I am also not one to judge, after all, I hate being judged by other people, so I would be a hipocrit if I did the same thing to another. But yeah, it drives me nuts and pisses me off so much when I have people judging me and I'm not going around doing the same thing to them! D< I mean seriously people, mind your own damn bussiness and if you don't like what I do, FUCK OFF! I don't fucking judge you on the shit you do! D<

As my favorite saying goes: "Before you point out the splinter in my eye, first you should remove the plank in yours!" DX<