greenwizard Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 The kink topic got me thinking. All of my kinks come out while I'm going solo, which is generaly a few times a day. My boyfriend on the other hand, has no sex drive to speak of. We don't have sex very often. Since I'm not the type to base a relationship on sex, I don't do too much complaining. I just take really long baths and disappear into the bedroom for long periods of time. The problem comes when he puts me down for it. He can have sex with me once a month, and jerk off twice a year (which I don't think is normal for an average healthy man). Part of the not much sex is a personal problem of his which I won't discuss. But he thinks the amount I break out the toys and pleasure myself is sick. He hardly ever does it so I should be the same way. So I decided to start this pole out of curiosity. I'm wondering what other people's habbits are, and if I really am going overboard. Quote
Guest Zyx Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 LOL, I need to take extra precautions.. my friends must NEVUR find this forum... I don't have a girlfriend but I masturbate about three times a day. So that usually takes up four or five hours of my day. God, I need a girl... Quote
Guest Jullians Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Once a weekXD Well, just because when the time between is longer it's more enjoyable to me " Quote
Becca Star Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Before when I didn't have such a satisfying lover I was masturbating almost constantly... My kinks were also more in control and just reading sexual talk made my hands wander to my breasts and pinch... ~sighs~ It really sucked because it got to the point where no matter how much I tried and masturbated I just wouldn't get off... AT ALL... Even when I was finally in the act with whom ever I was dating at the time, I just wouldn't release and had to fake it so they would leave me alone, though a lot of times I didn't have to because it was all about their release. Fucking bastards. Any way, now, even with my baby being thousands of miles away, I no longer find a need to touch myself, for some reason it's like by body repulses my own hands or something. The only time I actually perform solo now is when I'm desperate and know that I won't be able to see him at all in the next few days. Of course when we do see each other it's practically a sex marathon doing each other or at least tease 4 times a day. It would be more, especially with his sex drive, but we have things that actually need to get done during the day! lol... In all technicality, you're practices and how long and how many a day vary between person and person. For instance, before my baby and I got together, he would NEVER masturbate and had NEVER released a day in his life even with all his tries at masturbation. Nothing worked for him and he kinda gave up. Porn, books, people, pictures, nothing would get him aroused until me, which might explain why he refuses to keep his hands to himself after so long of not seeing me. Also, have you ever read the book "The Five Love Languages"? It's all about what makes a person feel loved and how it varies between person and person. One of those languages is physical touch, where unless they are embraced and have some kind of flesh to flesh touching they feel completely unloved and fall into depression. These people may be considered Sex-aholics though not always. In short, you're not going over bored. In time you might mellow out like me but that all depends. Tell your babe to take a chill pill and that they're not being replaced by the toys, which might be a problem for them. I've known some people that were upset about their lovers using toys, "Why do they need toys if they have me?" Yeah well, sometimes when you're not dishing out the sex and foreplay enough you go a little crazy. You might have to sit down with your lover and have a little heart to heart chat. Who knows, maybe they are bored with sex or have some under lying issue that is prevent their libido from kicking in and screwing your brains out. You might even have to seek professional help from a counselor to figure out just exactly what might be holding you both back from being sexually satisfied. Invest in some Karma Sutra books, have more foreplay, tease throughout the day, go and have romantic date nights, take up dancing (god that's so hot: hearts pounding, sweat dripping, passion a blaze, IT'S SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR I SWEAR!), role play as if you're strangers and are picking each other up for a one night stand, do sensual massages before, or a long relaxing bubble bath together. GET CREATIVE! Sex isn't supposed to be boring, do something wild and crazy if only once to see what happens. You might find you have more kinks with your partner than without!! I hoped that helped at least a little! Quote
Guest Zyx Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 I know, dancing is hot though I don't get to do it, ever >_> Quote
Terri Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Not nearly as much as I seem to need to lol. Really, it depends on my stress level and how often I'm able to be alone - but on average I'd say about 4-5 times a week >.> Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Role play as if you're strangers and are picking each other up for a one night stand, do sensual massages before, or a long relaxing bubble bath together. I hoped that helped at least a little! It's too bad one night stands are a big turn off for me. xD Though, my girlfriend and I haven't done a thing. >.> We're waiting. :: Shrug :: Uhh.... Hm, let's see.... Well I guess it varies from time to time. >> I don't generally 'do it' unless it's needed. If you wake up in the morning, and your 'morning wood' won't go away for fourty five minutes, might as well spend another half hour or so getting rid of it. >_>;; Oh, and there was a time last year where my girlfriend was unknowingly being the biggest tease EVER. =_= During that time, I had like.... Three... Four times a day. On another, think I said this in another thread... I've never finished with another person. =/ Don't know why, hour and a half into sex and I'm just sorta bored. xD Quote
Becca Star Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 It's too bad one night stands are a big turn off for me. xD Yeah, I'm not for one night stands. But just the thought of trying to seduce my baby and have him chase me around the club to "get my number" is to hot for me to brush off... We might be playing like it's a one night stand, but it's no where close! Hehehe.. OH TO BE CHASED... how I love it... Sometimes I'll get into this little kid mod where I'm all giggly and blushing and we'll play a silly version of "tag" which he ALWAYS wins and get a yummy little prize at the end... Hehehe... Oh I'm getting all hot and flushed just thinking about it... How his eyes stare at me with the emotions of a hunter and that smile of lust!!!! ~shakes~ OH I WANT MY BABY!!!!!! lol Quote
shinigamiinochi Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 it all depends on my hormones, what fanfics or movies I've read/watched, ect. Sometimes I masturbate only twice a week, sometimes three times in one day. On average, about once every other day. This also depends on what's happening in the dorm and if I think I can't get away with it without anyone knowing unless I'm reeeeally horny, then I say, fuck it, I don't care. Quote
Johnnyjosh Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 I've gotta make sure certain friends don't find this post XD. But yeah, usually once a day and I'm good *laughs* I invested in some good books, some toys, etc., seems all my best kinks come out when I'm alone too XD just too shy to share those kinks with another person I suppose. Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Oh, I lol'ed. xD Just a little too much information, but uh... Funny. Quote
greenwizard Posted February 6, 2008 Author Report Posted February 6, 2008 Yeah, he's said that I'm doing so well by myself it doesn't seem like I need him. He doesn't feel like he should bother. I've said over and over again please.... bother. I've noticed when he tickles my feet or back I don't do it that day. For me being tickled is just so much better than sex. But that's only when another person does it. When it comes to tickling toys are ok, but it just doesn't completely cut it. Quote
Becca Star Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Then maybe you should ask him to join you when you masturbate... Have him tell you what to do and where to touch, how hard or soft and so forth... Maybe he's just upset about being left out! And yeah, you're probably the physical touch love language... Seriously, pick up a copy of the book and read it together, it'll really help!!! Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 You could also try asking him to use them on you... Um, yeah. I've never been a fan of toys, to be honest. Not to the extent of your guy, but yeah. Quote
Becca Star Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 I've never been one for toys myself... I have them, but they mostly collect dust... They're mostly around for when my babe chooses to be torturous and uses them on me instead of himself. He's so wonderfully cruel sometimes ~sighs~ Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 I've never been one for toys myself... I have them, but they mostly collect dust... They're mostly around for when my babe chooses to be torturous and uses them on me instead of himself. He's so wonderfully cruel sometimes ~sighs~ Hearing about your wonderful sex life isn't the most healthy thing for me. >>;; I'm waiting, damnit! But now I'm scheming what I want to do to my girlfriend.... >_______> Quote
Becca Star Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Hehehe... I live to torment! lol... not really but from what I am forever told I am a HUGE tease... lol... If ever you'd love evil ideas of the sexual kind I will gladly offer my services! Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 Hehehe... I live to torment! lol...not really but from what I am forever told I am a HUGE tease... lol... If ever you'd love evil ideas of the sexual kind I will gladly offer my services! I'm a writer, after all. >> I have plenty of perverted thoughts and evil ideas that I'll never be able to try. It's horrible. Quote
Ginevra Posted February 6, 2008 Report Posted February 6, 2008 I'd probably like it two to three times a week. But I have two young kids and not as much privacy as I would like. Hubby and I manage about once a week together. I'm pretty sure he masturbates about close to daily. Me, rarely, mostly from lack of privacy again. I think about sex all the freakin' time, though. It is pretty common to be a little out of sync with your partner. Anything from several times a day to once every week or two for a couple who live together is considered normal, I believe. Quote
YuriChampion Posted February 7, 2008 Report Posted February 7, 2008 (edited) At least four times a week. If my hubby did it more than once a week I'd be greatly surprised. We're like the total opposite of the stereotype. He has like no sex drive; if he had sex once a month, he'd be satisfied. I need to get off daily, less all the kinky thoughts I seem to have all the time without trying starts manifesting itself in other, more unhealthy ways. Weird thing is: when we first got married, we had sex damn near daily, and he instigated it more. When I got pregnant (and after I got over morning sickness) I couldn’t stay off of him. But since we became parents I’m lucky if we have sex twice a month. Hence all the 'solo' time. Trust me, a sexually frustrated me is not a pleasant me to be around. The other day one of my g/f was complaining that she caught her husband masturbating. She was so mad, like he wasn’t allowed to do that any more because they were married now (did I mention they're newlyweds?). I don’t understand that mind set. Sometimes you just want to get off. It's your need, your desire. Dragging someone else in the picture just so you can get your jollies and to hell with their needs just strikes me as kind of selfish. Really, masturbation s the nicest thing a couple can do for each other. Wets the appetite for the real lovemaking without going insane in the meantime. Edited February 7, 2008 by YuriChampion Quote
greenwizard Posted February 7, 2008 Author Report Posted February 7, 2008 Sometimes you just want to get off. It's your need, your desire. Dragging someone else in the picture just so you can get your jollies and to hell with their needs just strikes me as kind of selfish. That's how I feel about it. With my already high sex drive, perfume commercials that are borderline porn don't help. I could turn on the TV at any given time and find something about sex. While I think being able to talk about this stuff with other people is a very good thing, I think the media takes it overboard. It gets me thinking and I'm almost always turned on! But my boyfriend isn't in the mood. We both feel that it's not right to pressure someone into sex when they really don't want it. I used to hint to see if he was in the mood, but all that got me was rejected most times. So I just started to not even bother with him and went and took care of it myself. He may really find me attractive, but when I can strip naked in the living room and can't pry him away from the video games, it doesn't feel good. It seems to be kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. If I try to romance him and sit on my hands I'm constantly getting rejected because he's rarely ever in the mood. If I say screw it and go upstairs then he sees it as me not needing him; and therefore isn't ever in the mood. Quote
DarkInuLord Posted February 7, 2008 Report Posted February 7, 2008 I'm probably the exact opposite of you. Blatant sexual ads only make me roll my eyes. Porn makes me gag. (Hentai is a little different >>) It really takes a lot to get me in the mood. Normally happens when I read a really good story, or if my mind starts to wander to all the evil things I want to do to my girlfriend. Quote
Tricia1224 Posted February 7, 2008 Report Posted February 7, 2008 (edited) For me it depends on how out of whack my hormones are and how long my man has been gone for. There are some times that I break out the toys every day, and other times where I can go months without even thinking about it. But when my man gets home after being gone for a few weeks or months, I can barely contain myself, and he gets pounced on as soon as the kids are in bed asleep. Edited February 7, 2008 by Tricia1224 Quote
shinigamiinochi Posted February 8, 2008 Report Posted February 8, 2008 I'm probably the exact opposite of you. Blatant sexual ads only make me roll my eyes. Porn makes me gag. (Hentai is a little different >>) It really takes a lot to get me in the mood. Normally happens when I read a really good story, or if my mind starts to wander to all the evil things I want to do to my girlfriend. It doesn't take all that much for me. I guess I'm perverted that way. I'm into psychology, but I still can't figure out why hentai gets me all hot and bothered and porn grosses me out. Quote
Zimarah Posted February 8, 2008 Report Posted February 8, 2008 Also hopes friends don't find this, but if they do, it's their problem My husband and I aren't living together at the moment, becasue he's working in one city and I'm going to school in another. Before this, I'll admit that if we had sex once a week, we were lucky, and that was mostly my fault. Since being away from him however, I've been masturbating 1-3 times per day. When we do get together now (and we will on Sunday, I'm excited!) we can't stay off of each other. It's great! I just hope that when I am finished school, my drive stays this high. And of course he's allowed to masturbate all he wants. I send him pictures and videos of me just for that purpose. Quote
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