Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

[Guest grateful]

thank you - please kill them all; Gordo... slowly:)

[Guest Guest]

I got an idea... it could work, based on your template of character objectives. Lara wants to be free of both men and the evidence for life; Gordo, wants to keep things as they are; Everest wants what amounts to Lara being his prized pet, that WANTS to be it, and enjoys it. Lara has her way... to regaining her life, killing Gordo with Everests blessing, and, ultimately getting the evidence, and killing the old man. He does something for her to reward her for successfuly completing an assignment... and she kisses him on the cheeck. In his mind it is the first sign of victory. It is really the tail waging the dog. She does all he asks with increased zeal, showing more signs of her will bowing willingly to him... till at last. He in the throws of ultimate egomania tosses away what he feels he no longer needs in stages drugs, Gord, evidence - woops.

[MorbidFantasy]

Believe it or not, I already know exactly how FMC is going to end, and yes it does end on Lara's terms.

Without spoiling too much, I'll just say that the seven crime bosses Lara is now indentured to will sow the seeds to their own undoing. Perhaps had Everest not gone to such lengths to sell Lara's services to the others, it might have been much harder for her to ever escape her current predicament.

[Guest Guest]

glad to hear it. You have class

[Guest vanquished foe]

excellent job of clarifying (forced introductions part2) so often what is obvious to a writer is lost on the reader.

[Guest Guest]

What of all the s.t.d.s carried by the prisoners who gang raped her? How is that a plus to the seven guys she is indentured to?

[MorbidFantasy]

What of all the s.t.d.s carried by the prisoners who gang raped her? How is that a plus to the seven guys she is indentured to?

I've asked myself this same question before

The assumption is any man with sexual access to Lara is screened for that stuff and everyone is heavily sanitized or medicated. I do make a lot of assumptions in this fic because I'm either too lazy to actually write out the scene or just didn't find it appealing to clarify everything. The main objective is to set up provocative sex scenes, not adhere to absolute realism. In all honestly, the TR universe and the premise of my piece weren't exactly realistic to begin with, so I'm abusing my creative license to the extreme here.

Edited September 8, 2013 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest Guest]

nice story MorbidFantasy. eagerly awaiting the new chapter.

p.s: A chapter where Lara is forced to dominate a girl or a guy would be interesting. Making her lose herself in the process and actually enjoy the position of the dominating side might be a fun change. What do you think?

[Guest Guest]

video survailence cameras are situated everywhere on the roadways in London.

[Guest IskanderX]

A few ideas about the ending.
As much as I like to see Lara losing herself in a web of total control and domination, I'd still prefer for a protagonist to eventually defeat her blackmailers/owners somehow. A typical dark ending where "she'll be a slave forever, bwa-ha-ha!" is too much of a cliche. More interesting outcome will be if Lara manages to kill off all the baddies and free herself from slavery, but the changes made to her mind and body are so deep and permanent, that she practically remains a walking, talking sex machine. Sure, she still has her free will, but her body craves sexual stimulation all the time, and pleasuring herself gives her only brief moments of release. Additionally, she's conditioned to achieve orgasm only in particular situations (very humiliating situations of course) so even when all the bad guys are gone from the picture, "the fun would never stop".

[MorbidFantasy]

video survailence cameras are situated everywhere on the roadways in London.

The thought had occurred to me. I'm well aware of UK's proliferate surveillance systems. I assume Everest's computer department can erase or pause video surveillance, and/or pay off corrupt policemen/officials/monitors to turn a blind eye. My impression was that police foot patrolmen in London is pretty prevalent and the likelihood of Lara being driven naked into town without being spotted is pretty slim unless some seriously shady stuff is going on.

The reason I didn't explicitly write that into the scene is because I have been toying with a different idea. That Lara's drive through London was actually all fake. The sounds of the city, the pulling into a back alley? All staged, since she's blindfolded and wouldn't know any better. The teens? Paid porn actors who think they're just filming a bdsm porn and don't know the "actress" they're fucking is actually Lara Croft. The entire ride couldn't have been more discrete, and did not have to be real to perfectly achieve the psychological effect of Lara fearing the public exposure.

A few ideas about the ending.

As much as I like to see Lara losing herself in a web of total control and domination, I'd still prefer for a protagonist to eventually defeat her blackmailers/owners somehow. A typical dark ending where "she'll be a slave forever, bwa-ha-ha!" is too much of a cliche. More interesting outcome will be if Lara manages to kill off all the baddies and free herself from slavery, but the changes made to her mind and body are so deep and permanent, that she practically remains a walking, talking sex machine. Sure, she still has her free will, but her body craves sexual stimulation all the time, and pleasuring herself gives her only brief moments of release. Additionally, she's conditioned to achieve orgasm only in particular situations (very humiliating situations of course) so even when all the bad guys are gone from the picture, "the fun would never stop".

I might as well tack the later part of your post onto one of my chapters and slap on the label "spoiler alert". Great minds think alike it seems.

Yes, Lara will have her vengeance, but it would be too optimistic to assume she will ever be the same person again. In response to your review's speculation that I hadn't planned out chapters 15+beyond when I started, you are correct sir. I had the blackmail idea in mind, and even McGee's appearance was only conceived right before I started that chapter. As for Everest, the prison, the underworld crime lords. All that was the result of me having taken the story in many different directions in my drafts, and those chapters happen to be the one that caught my fancy enough to be posted.

The idea is that if it was just Gordo blackmailing Lara, the scheme is actually much simpler and easy to maintain. He can do nothing and as long as he has the pictures of Lara on his hand, she could do nothing. But now we have multiple parties in play. Multiple enemies of Lara that don't necessarily share the exact same playbook, and with a fragile alliance hinged on their being mutually vengeful against Lara. Basically in order for Lara to escape her predicament, it first has to escalate to a point where no one is truly in control. Not her, nor any single man. No one party can fully enslave Lara and claim her as their own, so no one is fully in control of her as a result. Hubris will be their undoing. That's about as spoilerific as I can get. I have fragments of the final chapters written, but those won't even be seeing the light of day for at least another ten chapters, of not more. The question now is if I have enough juice to fill in the gaps in the middle in a way that I'm satisfied with.

[Guest Guest]

just a thought... this whole thing is an advantage to her in the long run - you can't 'rape' the willing. I don't think I need to expand on it

[Guest Guest]

if everyone has video... everyone is king - so it degenerates to all out g......r "I'M NOT PAYING YOU SUCKER! FUCKING SUE ME!" bril

[MorbidFantasy]

just a thought... this whole thing is an advantage to her in the long run - you can't 'rape' the willing. I don't think I need to expand on it

There are a few ways I can interpret that.

After all is said and done, I don't think Lara is just going to embrace the role of a sex craven slut. At least not willingly, if at all. I think her pride won't let her, and if it did, she wouldn't be the character that I found fun to torment in the first place. I don't know if this is misogynistic or reverse-misogynistic or what. I once mentioned that I'm not a fan of seeing my fav female characters in willing relationships with male characters because I'd get jealous of those men. Maybe I'd fantasize about myself being with those females, but then I have the inferiority complex of thinking I could never meet the requirements I imagine these females have. So the sick solution is I imagine them being taken unwillingly by sub-par mates. Maybe part of me is projecting myself onto characters like Gordo. Maybe that's what makes Non-Con popular with some people. Just a bit of psychoanalysis.

The short answer is that even if Lara is changed by her experiences in FMC, I can't imagine her pride or mental strength ever fully breaking. That's not the kind of character development that I find fun to write about.

[MorbidFantasy]

if everyone has video... everyone is king - so it degenerates to all out g......r "I'M NOT PAYING YOU SUCKER! FUCKING SUE ME!" bril

I guess I'll have to clarify it in future chapters on this detail.

Only Everest and Gordo have any hard recordings. Strict measures have been taken such that even if Lara is being made to serve other men, no new evidence is accumulated against her. This would have to be a clear impulse for Everest, because no matter who he whores Lara out to, he must remain the one truly in charge. Dissemination of blackmail material into the hands of other bosses would strip Everest of his exclusive power over Lara. She is a pawn for whatever he hopes to accomplish, and a very potent one at that. There's no way he'd actually "share" her fully. Anything she does for anyone besides him is just him holding out small samples of "see what you can get if you cooperate with me?" Kinda like free food samples they give out at grocery stores (can't believe I'm making that analogy. I'm really sick aren't I.)

[Guest Guest]

what I ment to imply was that shes had it done to he, she is stronger for it. But she physicaly has been conditioned to respond to such acts in a 'mimicry' of consent. As a result he phsycologicaly lowers his guard, his agression... his mistake

[Guest Guest]

i need spell-check:)

[Guest Guest]

they make their own tapes... thats what i was getting at. I should have been more clear - my bad

[MorbidFantasy]

what I ment to imply was that shes had it done to he, she is stronger for it. But she physicaly has been conditioned to respond to such acts in a 'mimicry' of consent. As a result he phsycologicaly lowers his guard, his agression... his mistake

Meh, at a certain point in time I had considered the "Lara starts playing along to get her blackmailers to lower their guard."

To an extent, that is an inevitable plot progression, that hubris play a role in their downfall, but that has to be more of a backdrop rather than the sole plot device.

Whether Lara plays along depends on what the scenes need of her as a character. Of course her victory won't just be a case of them fucking up. Lara's a strong character and having her passively live her way into revenge by playing along isn't her style. The true victory will be where she actively exploits their plans and turning the plans back on themselves.

I want at least a few lines of the final dialogues to be something like this:

Lara- "You know, that [thing] you did to mess with me? Yeah that was the entire reason you're in this position now. Had you not done that one [thing] I might still be your fuck puppet at this moment."

Lara- "You know how you thought you broke me? Well for a moment there I thought you broke me too, but that moment passed, and now here we are, in this moment. How quaint."

Man- "Please don't kill me?"

Lara- "You're going to wish you were that lucky." (this one is kind of cliche)

Also thought about ending things ala Max Payne's dialogue "They were all dead, the final gunshot was an exclamation mark to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger. And then it was over."

But depending on how good I am with writing verbal banter, Lara deserves to get the last word to most if not all of her tormentors as she exacts her vengeance. I owe her that much for putting her through this sick piece of fan fiction.

i need spell-check:)

It's fine, I understood what you were getting at.

they make their own tapes... thats what i was getting at. I should have been more clear - my bad

Everest wouldn't allow it. Every environment in which Lara is put in a compromising situation, even if it is in the service of another crime boss, will have been vetted and scoured by her handlers to make sure no more images were taken. I'll try to make that very clear in future chapters, but the assumption will and always will be that Everest and Gordo are the only ones holding any hard evidence. This might have plot implications but mostly it's just to keep things from really getting out of hand. I would still like Lara to have a clean win where her revenge isn't a pyrrhic victory where the entire world still gets to see her being shagged every which way. That is only remotely realistic if her blackmail material is contained.

[Guest Guest]

Thank you. My projection of my, self admittedly, reprehensable insinuation that she would be advantaged was going beyond the end of the story - anyone getting her into the same scenario impossible, and any man getting 'the better of her' getting dead before he gets off

[Guest Guest]

try this quote for her before she kills Everest ,"Hows this for a 'happy ending?'" (double entendre)

[Guest Guest]

Gordo's goodbye:" You succeeded, I am genuinly going to have an actual, unassisted orgasm because of YOU WOW! THANK YOU!"

[Guest Guest]

The signed contract... by all parties, even Gordo, Lara - traps them all, if they all have a copy.

[Guest Guest]

I think your too hard on yourself to suggest that a woman like Lara would consider you sub-par. Look at the train wrecks she calls her 'wundermench' relationships. You more than meet the iq quota, you admire her inner strength even as you exploit her outer beauty, and you emphasis on her intelligence as her means to resolve her horrific plight. So I ask you - what in THAT man would SHE not find attractive?

[Guest Guest]

Have her make Everest think he can smooth talk her into letting him live... just before she gets in close and says, "Let's not make this harder than it has to be."

Gordo sobs and begs just as she finishes duct tapping him to a table, and drives a butt bomb in his ass, rigged to explode when the ten inch dildo it's tapped to {the one he hammered into her} runs out of juice, after she sets it on it's highest setting. "Thanks for all the inspirational time together."

If you kill KITTY... the orgasm inducer,highest setting - left on.

and you think youre sick