Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

[MorbidFantasy]

http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081072

Thought I'd start this thread so I can share my thoughts with you guys about my progress with the fic.

It's not that I've taken a year hiatus from writing the fic, it's that I've written so many conflicting story lines for FMC that I end up scrapping most of them and starting anew, the process has happened three times already, and the graveyard for my unpublished FMC drafts is upward of 50000 words at this point.

Surprisingly the six newest chapters are part of a one days worth of writing when I was loaded on caffeine and inspiration just seemed to fly at me.

The relationship with Ivan/Vasily didn't even develop until when I was writing it. Up until he appeared in Lara's cell I really had just intended for him to be a big guy with a big dick to bugger her with, and I had to go back and change some parts in order to retroactively change his significance in the story.

I'll probably share the hitherto scrapped ideas that I've done a lot of work on in the past months, since some of them will end up being reworked into the story later if I can.

Thoughts, suggestions, ideas on where I should go in the short term with the next chapters?

[HunterOpera]

My cousin recently got me hooked on what he calls "crack coffee," which I've found to be a fine aid for writing. To make it, take three heaping spoonfuls of coffee and add three heaping spoonfuls of condensed milk, add boiling water, stir and drink. Do not plan on sleeping for a bit...

One of the reasons I started my thread was to discuss things like story and ideas, where the plot is heading, and to make sense of the narrative that has taken up residence in my brain. I imagine this is the perfect medium in which to talk about things like that and to see if what we're doing makes the sense we think we're making.

What were the sorts of things you had planned, and why'd you scrap 'em?

[MorbidFantasy]

Here are a few more coherent story arcs that I scrapped, the rests were less story driven and more just drabble

1. Toyko Arc:

Lara is taken to tokyo, where she awakes in a sort of "soft" captivity, which is a luxury suite that has false windows and is shut off from outside world, the suite is in reality a mock up inside a containment/storage facility, owned by Shogo Takamoto.

Strangely, she wakes up fully cloth and not being raped, and spends a few days with no clue as to where she is and why she's there. One day however, she wakes from a chemically induced sleep to see a young chinese girl (think barely of age or maybe even under 18) tied to the bed. The girl is blindfolded and shows signs of having been heavily raped. Lara's hands are bound and she is leashed to the foot of the bed. She gets to know the girl, who was a chinese-japanese idol/actress, who was kidnapped ended up here because she refused a "date" with one of Takamoto's underbosses, Sort of a comrade in suffering, Lara befriends the girl.

Only after the two have gotten to know each other does Takamoto's right hand man show up, with his cronies, and proceed to completely ignore Lara (who is still fully clothed) as they rape the young asian girl. Lara, stricken by a sudden urge to protect the other female, offers herself up willingly to Takamoto's thugs.

Under threat of bodily harm to her younger charge, Lara is forced to service her captors willingly and with false enthusiasm.

What follows is the primary reason the arc was scraped. Again, most of this was written in a short time, on a lot of caffeine, and eventually I found it kinda far fetched-

Lara is forced to run scenarios with Takamoto's men, involving her being inside an abandoned industrial complex, acting as a prey as Takamoto's men hunted her. Both sides are armed with tranquilizer guns, but Lara's ammunition is limited, and Takamoto's men are armed with aphrodisiac ammunition much like the kind I had in my old Legends fic, so if Lara is shot with too many she succumbs to overwhelming arousal, which is only satisfied after copious sexual activity. The reason for the entire hunt and capture games was too absurd and was supposed to have been to prepare Takamoto's men for quick covert kidnappings to kidnap potentially influential female celebrities to further the whole underground celebrity prostitution scheme.

The Asian girl become a trainee of sorts for Lara and her comrade in these screwed up sex games. There is a lot of action and combat in this arc, which I really enjoyed writing, but in the end I had to scrap the idea because I found it absurd that a young actress that has never been trained the way Lara was trained picking up the same skills as her in a short amount of time. Also found the setup for kidnapping female celebrities to be kind of overdone.

Final verdict: until I can make this arc believable to myself, it stays buried.

2. Peru Arc

Yet another way for Lara to be introduced to serving the underworld.

Lara starts out inside the cargo jet, but instead of waking in the prison, she awakens only to be thrown out of the back of the jet, wearing nothing other than a parachute. Landing in the jungle, she has to retrieve her separately dropped gear, and is hunted by Xavier Salvatorelli, for sport.

Salvatorelli's backstory is that he used to lead a small scale paramilitary faction in Peru, and Lara had once bought some hardware off of him when she was digging near his turf. He had tried to get too romantic with Lara and that cost him an eye and a few fingers. Somehow, since then, his operation and powerbase has grown to the point that he garners the interest of Everest.

Xavier will continually force Lara to reenact the day she injured him and escaped, except this time the scenario is rigged in a new way each time to ensure that Lara is eventually caught and humiliated in front of Xavier's entire operation, as her successful escape years prior had been seen as a huge humiliation for him.

This story might still make it in, but I think it was necessary for Lara to first agree to whatever happens to her next in a legal document to make things official. Otherwise it would seem like Everest was just pushing her envelope without a clear plan, and eventually I'd expect Lara to snap and just rebel all out.

In fact, both the Tokyo arc and the Peru arc were experiments in how I could make Lara willingly subject herself to escalating levels of humiliation. Either make it so she has someone to fight for, or make it so she was only making up for her past sins (gravely injuring Xavier) Both ideas eventually made it into the incarceration/initiation story, but I'll continue to revisit these past ideas to see if they'd fit in at some point. I hate to let good sex scenes go to waste.

3. The last were just a series of Tomb Raiding arcs where Lara retrieves an artifact from somewhere in the world and Gordo injects some sex into the raiding. Probably five or six scenarios partially based off of scenes in the games. These are on the backburner until I can make them work. The notion of Lara scaling a cliff while climaxing seemed sexy, but also seemed like unnecessary risk if it led to her death. I feel like her safety is still a big concern and all the sex must at least be in a somewhat controlled environment.

Edited November 23, 2012 by MorbidFantasy

[HunterOpera]

Okay, there's some interesting ideas and concepts going on here and I'd like to ballpark a little, just talk a little shop. Just some things off the top of my head - if it helps, great, and if not no harm done.

The Tokyo Arc

Kinda similar to the idea I was running with for a Utena narrative I've plotted out and never done anything with; noble people submitting to terrible things for the protection of others is a powerful concept, very Christic, and it resonates with people in a very powerful way. I think Lara would have issues with this, though, given that her core psychological virtues are based on survival and not protection; she's consistently around when other people die and moves on. If Takamoto's men could somehow tie Lara's survival with the other girl's than Lara would pretty much do anything to keep the other girl alive, even if the tie is only in Lara's mind. It would also give Takamoto and his men a further hold on Lara, as there is nothing more important to Ms. Croft than her own life.

The actress thing could actually work, too, on the basis that we tend to look at celebrities as the gods and heroes of this era. If the celebrity in question was somehow tied to myth or history than it would give Lara another reason to care about her, perhaps the hook that Takamoto and his men need to get Lara seriously thinking about her survival and the girl's being intertwined.

As far as the hunting concept - aside from it being hot as hell - it would give Takamoto a way to train his men against one of the world's best and most dangerous gunfighters with a very real and concrete reward. There's a real core of misogyny in Japanese culture, too, so the idea of these Yakuza badasses pitting themselves against a female that is better than they are and having to work together to bring her down and then punishing her for her impudence... well, yum. It wouldn't just prep his men for kidnappings, it would by necessity force them to get to Lara's level or at least something close to it, which would certainly give Takamoto an edge when dealing with other criminal organizations.

What do you think?

The Peru Arc

Salvatorelli's arc is an interesting one that echoes what I've got going with Brannigan, but I think would go in a very different direction. Both of our characters are seeking revenge out of pride for old injuries, but while Brannigan is self-involved Salvatorelli could be using Lara's status to re-cement his control over an area.

Lara, like Samus, tends to upset local power structures wherever she goes. In the culture of machismo that Salvatorelli hails from there can be nothing worse than losing and being injured by a girl, so I imagine his good name and reputation has suffered since his run in with Lara. You could establish that when she first arrived in Peru he tried to pass her off as his weapon, or to use her as a weapon to attack his rivals, but his injuries destroyed his credibility. By having her in his power he could be trying to show his power and strength to his rivals, re-establishing himself as the dominant power in that region.

You could also have him using her to find an artifact that would heal his injuries completely or put him on the path to El Dorado or both. Tomb Raider's got plenty of mythology running through it, and one of the running themes of the games is the mysterious powers of the ancient world - it's one of the qualities that made the Axis of Tantilus such a compelling read back in the day.

The Series Arc

I'm forced to agree that Gordo and Everest would try to avoid putting Lara in any serious danger; she's just too valuable a resource to lose in such a way. But forcing her to complete exercises to keep her in shape, things where there is a safety net - maybe even ones she doesn't know about - that could be fun. Would that work for what you've got in mind?

[HunterOpera]

That, sir, was brilliant. Utterly, completely, sadistically brilliant. I'm going to have more to say about this later, I think - I was dropping by while doing some research - but it bears stating that... you know, fuck it, I'm entitled to a break.

I love the idea of subverting someone's home, and orgasm denial is one of the cruelest and mind-breaking forms of torture that can be inflicted on someone. I love the idea of Lara thinking she's safe and having these dreams that she can't explain and waking up desperate for that sense of relief and not being able to get it. I love the addition of Kitty to Gordo; I keep imagining him as Marlon Brando playing at Doc Frankenstein, and Kitty works a little too well as sexy Igor. I love the explanation making Gordo's final invasion of Lara's privacy secret, the off-hand way that Everest is able to manipulate things to keep Lara firmly under control.

And I love how this can be used to tie into any number of other ideas, concepts, and plays. Brilliant stuff.

Your writing remains as strong as ever, with the tease of the story highlighting the action and the introduction of the various elements and torments woven together perfectly; no wasted words, no wasted dialogue, just elegant prose painting a tapestry of brilliant erotic horror. I am in awe. You've given me a level of quality to shoot for, which means I might post something sooner than I had meant to.

Awesome stuff.

[MorbidFantasy]

First, responding to HunterOpera

I have to admit, the hunting games between Lara and Takamoto's men was indeed hot as hell for me to write, and really rolled off the fingers quite naturally. Your comments on Japanese misogyny mirrors my own take on how they would treat Lara. I actually really liked the asian actress character I had developed so she might appear in a slightly different capacity if it pans out.

As for Salvatorelli's proving of his manhood for hit men by humiliating Lara, I'm keeping that idea but reworking it giving the recent plot developments. In fact I think Xavier is probably the first person Lara is going to have to pay "penance" to.

As for current chapter, first off I'm glad you liked it. Some other thoughts

I know technically Lara's only been away from home for a little under a month, but it seemed like so much longer due to my horrendously slow pace of updating, so I found myself wanting to bring her back home if only temporarily.

Introducing Kitty seemed logical as Gordo would have to be weened off of Lara's pussy (and her weened of his cock) if she is to be dividing her time among so many individuals.

So the newly introduced plot device is that while Lara was gone, Winston had similarly been gone from the mansion, and Everest Inc had taken this time to do some major reconstruction around the Croft manor.

If it wasn't made more clear in this chapter, the hallucinogenic qualities of Lara's dream will be further elaborated upon. It's entirely possible that the demons (Kitty and her sisters) aren't even really wearing red skin paint, merely the red lighting and Lara's drug addled mind interpreting what she's seeing. It also contributes to the reason she might still think herself to be dreaming.

I'm toying with the idea of lactation, which i know can be polarizing, but since Everest wants Lara to be able to perform any task asked of her for her creditors, he would want her body to provide any functionality that they might so request. Who knows, maybe I'll give Lara milk valve "implants" that can be used to either make her lactate or shut it off. At this point we're well past the boundaries of realistic technologies.

The idea of not letting Lara cum was me taking a leaf from your metroid fic. We'll see where that leads us.

Edited November 29, 2012 by MorbidFantasy

[HunterOpera]

It's a good leaf. Run with it and see where it takes you.

Lactation is one of those things that can go either way, I find - it heavily depends on how thew character responds to it. There's an old adage about making sure it works with the story, so if you can make it fit in with the world you're crafting and you think it will add to Lara's experiences, go for it. If not, hold off and maybe try and come back to it later.

I totally got the Winston thing and you're explanation for Kitty mirrors my own assumptions about her, but it's nice to have confirmation. You've really done an excellent job with this, which is something I've come to expect. I love the idea of the drugs messing with Lara's mind - it'd be amusing as hell if Gordo's messed with her so much that her senses are lying to her about the demon thing. It's just another means of stripping control away from her in her own home, which really drives home the point of how much she's lost over the course of this story.

Looking damn forward to seeing how you run Salvatorelli, and I'm now even more eager to check out Takamoto's hunting regimen. Everything sounds awesome.

[Guest modeac]

I hope this fic continues soon as there are very few truly great smut fics around- even on this site.

[MorbidFantasy]

Updated with two new chapters, and two more in the works.

[MorbidFantasy]

Since I'm too lazy to start a new thread for all my other ideas, here are two fics I'm currently planning to write.

1. Return to Yamatai (Tomb Raider Reboot)

Will exist completely separate of FMC, and as was the case with the new game, will be grittier and much more realistic.

2. Remake (yes I know) of The Fifth's Long Week (Naruto) by wierdmeijin,

For years I waited for wierdmeijin to update this fic, but not only has he not done so, he actually deleted all of his work here on AFF. I seriously had a Anakin Skywalker Episode III moment (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) when I found out.

Because this fic will pretty much be another blackmail fic, I will have to make it fit the Narutoverse and try not to ape too much of what I have going on with Tomb Raider. My opinion is that this won't be too hard, since the beginning plots will mainly be a retread of wierdmeijin's plot.

I've also realized that there is an average lifespan for not only authors, but also readers, on AFF. To those of you who've stuck with FMC over the years (it's been quite a long time), I love you guys and thank you for your support and input, and will continue to write for as long as my mind can think up lecherous ideas.

Also, if anyone wants to help me beta new chapters and/or see discarded chapters/ideas that might still be recycled, shoot me a pm, and I'll send you a share link for google docs.

[HunterOpera]

Since I'm too lazy to start a new thread for all my other ideas, here are two fics I'm currently planning to write.

1. Return to Yamatai (Tomb Raider Reboot)

Will exist completely separate of FMC, and as was the case with the new game, will be grittier and much more realistic.

2. Remake (yes I know) of The Fifth's Long Week (Naruto) by wierdmeijin,

For years I waited for wierdmeijin to update this fic, but not only has he not done so, he actually deleted all of his work here on AFF. I seriously had a Anakin Skywalker Episode III moment (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) when I found out.

Because this fic will pretty much be another blackmail fic, I will have to make it fit the Narutoverse and try not to ape too much of what I have going on with Tomb Raider. My opinion is that this won't be too hard, since the beginning plots will mainly be a retread of wierdmeijin's plot.

I've also realized that there is an average lifespan for not only authors, but also readers, on AFF. To those of you who've stuck with FMC over the years (it's been quite a long time), I love you guys and thank you for your support and input, and will continue to write for as long as my mind can think up lecherous ideas.

Also, if anyone wants to help me beta new chapters and/or see discarded chapters/ideas that might still be recycled, shoot me a pm, and I'll send you a share link for google docs.

Amen to laziness, though I like to justify doing the same thing by saying that it gives people a chance to see other stuff the author is doing, and maybe join in discussion on those stories, too.

Very much liked the two new chapters. I like the further exploration of Kitty and how dangerous she is to Lara, especially in the present circumstances. The name also reminds me of Kitty Play, which remains one of my favorite chapters in the whole of FMC. These latest two rival that for the sheer perversity and ingenuity of how Gordo and Kitty degrade Lara. Their assault on her psyche is really what makes your story so compelling - how far can they push her before she breaks and stops being Lara or starts fighting back? I think I've mentioned this before, but I'd kill to see what you'd do with your own characters in an actual novel...

New Tomb Raider was a fantastic game, and I'm looking forward to seeing what sort of hell you add to what was already there.

I never read anything by wierdmeijin, but I am a bit of a Naruto fun (stopped watching after the first big Sasuke/Nartuo fight, where Sasuke ran off with Orochimaru, but I do have friends that keep up with it and have let me know what's happened since - I just haven't had time to watch it). The trick, I think, to not rehashing a story already in progress is to respect the tropes and characters of the story you're working on at that time. Similar plots and events may have very different impacts on the players involved, and mean very different things in their respective worlds. I have a lot of faith in your talent as a writer, and have no doubt you'll pull it off.

FMC was one of the reasons I started visiting this site, and one of the reasons I stuck with it until I started posting my own little experiment. You, TheDaiLi, bitamin, and a handful of others have been the people I've studied to make my own stories work, and have taught me a lot about putting together both erotic and erotic-horror.

In short, your work is awesome, you are awesome, and I look forward to seeing whatever is coming next.

[Guest modeac]

I have been a huge fan of MorbidFantasy's stories since the truly brilliant reality of lara's legend.

I would really like to see discarded chapters/ideas that might still be recycled as you wrote on the Adult Fanfiction dot net Forum.

I would really appreciate it if someone sent me a share link for google docs with discarded chapter/ideas on them at bleaklydriven@gmail.com.

[MorbidFantasy]

Current preview

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sAdoCQsSLD2O6Of-Jr3R0YRjG2-SXrWN_IxEY3XiUaY/edit?usp=sharing

Will always post links here, but will also send it out to those who give me their email so you guys won't have to check in to this page.

Will publish this chapter when it's ready along with an accompanying chapter that I'm still taking suggestions for. Basically if anyone has a great idea for where to take things after this preview chapter feel free to hit me up and I'll try to work it into the paired chapter.

Doesn't have to be plot related, can just be a particular scene you'd like to see or some thing Lara is made to do. Only requirement is it goes well with how the story has progressed so far.

Edit:

It's not that I haven't been writing for FMC. I actually have several nearly complete but completely non-plot related chapters written.

1. Lara's in a church, "confessing" to some clergymen

2. Lara's at a South American Carnival

3. Lara celebrating someone's birthday

4. Lara's on a boat (Que lonely island's "I'm on a boat")

5. Lara's in the jungle, being hunted.

6. Lara meets a foreign dignitary

7. Lara plays a game of "laser" tag

8. Lara dances in the shower

Problem is all four chapters are self-contained and currently not tied to the plot of FMC other than Lara being the same FMC Lara.

I'm considering creating a new AFF fic titled FMC: Side Stories and just posting the non-plot related chapters there, but I really want to eventually integrate them into FMC, and someone told me it was a bad idea to split things up, so I'm holding off on those plans.

Edited August 18, 2013 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

Chapters 28 and 29 have been posted. The first part of 28 was included in the preview, but has now been renamed due to writing developments.

As is usually the case, both chapters spent a lot less time in the vault than most of the chapters that I eventually scrap or recycle. I find that if I have to toil too long over a chapter to get it to fit into the story, it probably wasn't going to fit well no matter what I did with it.

New OC: Dr. Evan Hanson.

Another associate of Lara's late father, although in no way affiliated with Everest.

Imagined character for Hanson is a jealous, much less fatherly and more pervy version of Conrad Roth from Tomb Raider 2013. Some inspiration came from this pic

http://rule34.paheal.net/post/view/1140639#search=Tomb_Raider_Reboot

At this point I'm struggling with a dilemma.

The Lara from Tomb raider Legends and Underworld is aged roughly around 35-40, If we were to go by the old time line birthdates.

However, the sexy Lara I have in my mind is much closer to 27-30, old enough to have developed a taste for bloodshed but not old enough to be world weary. At the same time, I've become much more fond of the Lara Croft character model from the 2013 rebooted game, and right now all of my writing uses that imagined model, despite still technically using the storyline from Tomb Raider Underworld.

So there you guys have it. I might make it official at some point, so Lara loses her parents before she finishes college (20-ish, like pre TR2013) but completes the events of TR:Legend and TR: Underworld by the time she's 26. This compresses the time line somewhat given Jacqueline Natla's lengthy chronology in the games, but leaves Lara as a much younger 27 year old when she's first captured by Gordo, and around 28-29 as of the current arc.

The acknowledgement of the events of TR:U in the latest chapter (offhand observation by Hanson) means supernatural is officially being brought into FMC, which up until now had been grounded in real world, even if the science is far fetched and over the top.

Bitamin717 once posted a story on AFF titled something like "Tomb Raider: Axe of Tantalus". Basically about a relic used to M/C Lara Croft. While I intend to do no such thing (I like my story victims kicking and resisting), I think bringing supernatural into the equation opens up a lot of possibilities. Like what happened to Mjonir and all of Lara's supernatural weapons after TR:U. I may have to rettcon some aspects of FMC or do some explaining, but right now I'm going with where my imagination is taking me.

Supernatural being real in FMC also means I would love to hear your suggestions on how any of the relics from the previous TR games might be used in FMC, or even make up relics and special effects on your own and toss me a bone.

Hope you enjoy the latest chapter. I'm already writing two follow up chapters on the Peru Arc with Dr. Evan Hanson, which will either become the main arc involving Xavier Salvatorelli or will lead up to Lara's service to Salvatorelli. Honestly that name is so long to type, part of why I decided to have Hanson chronically forget what it was. In media res writer's humor in action.

Response to Anon: she can't climax - the device? don't forget consistency of narrative. or... remove it.

Lara was medicated when she was at home to prevent her from climaxing. When Gordo and Kitty picked her up, this happened.

"[kitty] pressed a hard object against her lower back. “A small present, for our first official meeting.” she whispered silkily, then Lara felt something within her burst, and nearly screamed out as she came so hard her knees buckled. "

I didn't want to make it entirely obvious, since the point was that half the time Lara wasn't even sure what was being done to her.

The hard object was some sort of needle that injected Lara with the counteracting agent to the orgasm-stopping drug, not the remote to the actual orgasm device implanted inside of her.

The reason Lara didn't feel the prick was because the fast onset of the orgasm, the feeling of some bursting, masked the needle.

I reread what I wrote however and realized that I hadn't made it clear enough for the audience, and ended up confusing not just Lara but also the readers. My bad. I'll try to rettcon or clarify what has been done to Lara's body in future chapters.

Edited August 21, 2013 by MorbidFantasy

[MorbidFantasy]

Started playing with xnalara, finally. Made some images for rule 34

http://rule34.paheal.net/post/list/user_id=137157/1

I might try making scenes from FMC to accompany each chapter in the future haha.

[MorbidFantasy]

Anon 2013-08-22 id # 3000048701 I have a small issue to point out. the whole premise is that a man video tapped himself raping a woman hadcuffed to a table at gunpoint... that is what she's afraid of getting out to the point shes willing to voluntarily go through any of it? how many rapists publicly flaunt the fact? How many courts make it public? I get it... fantasy. STILL all she has to do is kill fat fuck... even at this stage, then Everest will be the only one left holding her card... then - take his dick off if he doesn't free her - then kill him to. The end Report Review Anon 2013-08-23 id # 3000048702 i'm sorry the last guys right, the idea is preposterous .

Welp, yeah, it's pretty preposterous.

Not even going to deny that. However the premise of this fic is that Lara cares enough about her public image that she is willing to put up with the humiliation. Also she is being threatened with not just public exposure but also the physical injury of her friends ( I did mention Winston's "car accident") and in the latest chapter Everest threatened her with permanent imprisonment in the prion facilities where she will be raped non stop.

Also the information Lara's being blackmailed with isn't just the sex video, but also the videos of her killing a lot of people in her adventures, which will paint her as a bloodthirsty crazy person, completely turning public opinion against her.

Anyhoos, I write this fic because I have hot ideas for non-con sex scenes in my head, not because the plausibility of it happening is 100% surefire. Not to say that the plot isn't exaggerated, but then again so is the plot of a lot of anime and video games.

Still, criticism is welcome, just so I don't get too bloated with ego. So thanks for commenting!

[Guest male]

lifetime imprisonment - without trial of a WORLD WIDE CELEBRITY?

[Guest same male]

and if they kill Winston POLICE INVESTIGATION - just saying.

[Guest yup -me again]

no trial? kidnap? see last post... just trying to help.

[MorbidFantasy]

lifetime imprisonment - without trial of a WORLD WIDE CELEBRITY?

People go missing all the time, especially if they consistently immerse themselves in dangerous situations like Lara regularly does. Even in Tomb Raider 2013 she gets captured, tied up, and may very well have never been seen again by the rest of the world. Political dissidents in the Middle East, South East Asia, Russia, as well as Central and South America regularly "disappear", either imprisoned or outright killed. Most of the time the rest of the world never know what happened to them.

As for Lara's case, she could easily be kidnapped given the powers of her blackmailers, should push come to shove. All they would have to do is fake her death in some bogus plane crash, then they could make up whatever story they want about Lara's secret sex life and maybe conspiracy theorists will think she got killed participating in some high level prostitution ring. Regardless, the "culprits" will most likely never be found.

The prison from the FMC arc obviously isn't one run by a responsible country. Don't get me started on how the prison systems of the world are notoriously corrupt and in some cases even run by prison gangs. Look up Tavon White in the news, a prison inmate in Baltimore who managed to get four of his female prison guards pregnant on top of pretty much running the entire prison from within his cell. In Lara's case, the prison she was in is run by the same underworld organization Everest and his powerful buddies have ties to, so it's entirely possible. It might be on a remote island in the middle of nowhere ala Resident Evil style. Who knows how powerful Everest's criminal organization is, if he owns his own private prison.

Oh, also for the record, the private prisons in the States are pretty bad too, a particularly recent case involving a judge being bribed to deliberately give heavy sentences to minor offenders so they could bolster the prison's labor force.

Suspension of disbelief notwithstanding, It's adorable that you're so confident in the real world's ability to always uncover the "truth". It's a very comfortable cocoon of self-reassurance that we as Americans (I'm assuming you're American) take for granted. The reality is that truth is a luxury in this world of liars and cheaters, and the public perception game is a free for all in which justice does not always prevail.

[MorbidFantasy]

and if they kill Winston POLICE INVESTIGATION - just saying.

Police investigation into what? A freak car accident? A random mixup of medication at the pharmacy? Tripping and falling down a flight of stairs in Lara's own mansion?

And what happens if Lara accuses Everest, a well known and well respected public figure (enough to be acquainted with some powerful political entities), of running some underground sex trafficking Empire as well as assassination plot?

In the best possible outcome, a selected and edited collection of sex tapes and whatever shady underground banking records will just implicate Lara herself as being part of this entire operation. Maybe she started out as a customer to private bdsm sex sessions and gradually started to help move human "product" when she traveled in those skip-the-security private planes. All they'd have to do is place a sex worker inside a copy of the pleasure-mobile, put it on a jet owned by Lara, then lead the police to the jet. The sex worker would then "rat" on Lara, saying she was somehow tricked or coerced by Lara into sexual servitude.

You expect a coalition of underworld bosses to be so easily toppled simply by a police report? At this point, they have magnitudes more resources at their disposal than Lara, and even if she were to somehow implicate them as being the offending party, the best possible outcome is a Pyrrhic victory where her image still ends up destroyed forever, tarnishing her family's name. The entire world will have fapping material of Lara to enjoy, and the public humiliation would pretty much end Lara's career, and who knows, maybe rich people will even try to solicit her for "escort" services, a final insult to her continued existence.

As always, I do appreciate your criticism, but one thing about writing and reading fiction is that if you can't bring yourself to imagine all scenarios in a given situation, expand your envelope of possible causality and aftermaths.

[Guest humbled]

Points validly made...by all means, bash away brother. But if he had such a jones for her snatch all these years? with all that power? why wait for fat fucks little porno? why not just kidnap her ass when she goes off the grid? good manners?

[Guest vanquished foe]

I'm done. Truth is I like to take the only weakness in a truly great work, and either draw the artists attention to it, or have my observation/insult thrashed with a viable argument for it. Needless to say you did so eloquently. I ONLY did this because you are a great writer... period. Obviously far more intelligent than me. I respect you responding at all to my my little jabs - YOU KICKED MY ASS I do hope you continue on with this, and do feel free to burn me in literal (written) effigy. ALL MY BEST TO THE BEST.

[Guest Guest]

How does being the victim of rape ruin your career as a successful archeologist?

[MorbidFantasy]

Wasn't really trying to win any arguments here, just pointing out plausible causality. You asked some valid questions worth answering. Again, a lot of the premise to my fiction requires a pretty broad suspension of disbelief, so in no way am I implying something like this is still "realistic", only that it is "plausible".

As to why Everest never made a move on Lara earlier...maybe he hadn't really thought about the whole blackmail scheme until after he found out Gordo was doing it, then was like "hell I can do that waaaay better". Or maybe he didn't even know it was Lara that had broken into his mansion until after McGee's death, in which case he would have a reason to want to subjugate her, since at that point Gordo had left his employment and Lara might very well make another stab at Everest's mansion.

As for rape, the idea is that because Lara's sex scenes are so many and so varied, it won't be hard to portray her as a willing participant in bdsm role playing. If you think about it, in many of the sex scenes I've written, Lara doesn't seem to be coming off as purely a rape victim. And what kind of rape victim is allowed to go back home free, only to go back for seconds, thirds, and more? Clearly she likes it enough to keep going back.

My assumption is that the archaeological world and the intellectual field and probably most of the world mainly consists of people that value things like common etiquette, public image, and at least a modicum of personal propriety. Other than that I'm sure seeing Lara shooting people in her escapades would kinda make her out to be the worst kind of archaeologists ever.

Edited August 24, 2013 by MorbidFantasy