Raymy Posted November 15, 2012 Report Posted November 15, 2012 (edited) Author: Raymy Title: Driven to Distraction Fandom: Bleach - Yaoi Pairing: Byakuya/Renji, references to past Shuuhei/Renji and Juushiro/Byakuya Warnings: Anal, Fingering, HJ, Oral, Rim, Spank, D/s, H/C, Angst Chaptered story: 9 Chapters, about 25K words, Completed Nov. 13, 2012 URL: http://bleach.adultf...hp?no=600012736 Summary: Byakuya and Renji take a break from the stifling, rigid Seireitei life and indulge in living world distractions. This is what I posted and it's not very descriptive. It started as an experiment to try my hand at writing and evolved as I discovered I was enjoying myself. The plot is more like a character arc, where both parties must learn something about themselves and each other to come together after a misunderstanding. I tried to keep within canon, no OC's. Feedback: This is my first fanfiction story. I would love con. crit. about the characterizations, if the dialogue was engaging, and if the story made you want to continue reading. Was the smex too graphic or technical, or just didn't float your boat? I was hoping to immerse the reader in the sensations. Also, if the first person narration was a turn off, or if alternating it was confusing, I thought I wouldn't do it again. Any suggestions as to what would have made the story better for you is welcome. I am considering writing a couple of prequels (as stated in my Author Notes) and need input, not only on how this story is received, but what you'd like to see in them (if you want them). I sure hope I can get some other Author reviews. Edited November 15, 2012 by Raymy Quote
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