Why Don't Women Seem To Realize...

[DarkInuLord]

And in just a few lines of text, I think my heart shattered.... I really don't know what to think right now, in fact, we're still having the conversation but my mind is blank.

Pardon her horrible typing skills, I've learned to read passed the typos.

Elusive Mystery says:

Tomorrow, the rat hunt begins! >.>

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

XD

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Haha.

Elusive Mystery says:

>3

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

:: Tries to root for you? :: xD

Elusive Mystery says:

*sometime she'll ophone Garrett*

Elusive Mystery says:

Yar xD

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Which Garrett?

Elusive Mystery says:

When I get the rat...I bet I won't ut it down >.>

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Asshole Garrett, or that other one?

Elusive Mystery says:

Scotich one

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Which one is that?

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

._.

Elusive Mystery says:

the "ther" one

Elusive Mystery says:

other*

Elusive Mystery says:

the one you said I should look out for

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

:: Confused ::

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Ohhhh.

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Creepy pedo one.

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Kay.

Elusive Mystery says:

he isn't creepy!

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

He is to me. =/

Elusive Mystery says:

*laughs*

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

Overly nice pedoes scare me.

Elusive Mystery says:

I told my mom, and she iunderstands

Elusive Mystery says:

He went to the store, apologized..and stuffs

Elusive Mystery says:

hye said he's taking a picture of the carving of me so mom can see

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

I see.

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

I still don't trust him.

Elusive Mystery says:

lol

Elusive Mystery says:

*shrug*

Elusive Mystery says:

*dances with Urahara*

~.:.~I'm burning every bridge that I cross, to find some beautiful place to get lost.~.:.~ says:

:: Mehs ::

Elusive Mystery says:

lol

Elusive Mystery says:

He was really nice though

Elusive Mystery says:

and my mom is some-what happy that I had the expiereience of his gentleman-ness

Elusive Mystery says:

not the expierienct witht he carving, she was kinda shaky on that, but..it didn't bother as much as I thought it would

Elusive Mystery says:

She just says now If I go to his house, she wants to come too

Elusive Mystery says:

....

[Shinju]

Crazy seems to run in her family. If you plan on having kids with this one I'd consider adoption.

I believe the reason I am so mad on your behalf is because I was once in a similar situation. If something in the relationship makes the other feel so God damned bad that they want to die, the other person just needs to stop. If they don't, feelings become twisted and you end up hating them, but you love them so you want to hold on, but you hate them so you keep on hurting them.

[Shinju]

I would also just like to add, had this 26 year old man been one of her teachers, which he is old enough to be, this would have already been spattered across the front every newspaper in the country.

[DarkInuLord]

I told her what I thought about him, and sure I said it a little more nicely than what I'm about to type, but at least she knew why I was mad, without me having to explain.

Basically I said "I don't want you near that sick fuck, all pedophiles act nice to their victims, you're just lucky mom called when she did or something bad could have happened... But why do you want to go back to the creepy fucker?"

Luckily... Her response was "I understand that you're being protective..." without me having to explain.

At least she's not like all of my ex's.... "You're just JEALOUS." would have been what came out of their mouth's. Bleh... I'm going to sleep.

[cu-kid9]

I know this isn't what she said, but this is what I hear: "I understand that you're being protective, but..." and the word "but" is rarely good coming out of a girl's mouth.

I can't give your GF crap about hanging out with guys older than she is. I did it when I was around 16 and 17 -but I was also taking art classes at the local community college, so I kind of feel like I had a legit reason for doing so.

The whole thing about her mom...well, I can't really say anything about that either, since I don't know anything about her family dynamics. I know that if I had done something like that, my mother would have probably killed me, grounded me, yelled at me, and locked me away for the rest of my life -no matter how old I was when I did it. In fact, I did something a little similar when I was about her age (not taking my shirt off or anything, but going out with a guy I didn't know...except he was the same age as me...and I was with a group of friends...), and my mom flipped when she found out. I thought I was dead for sure.

Here's the thing that really irks me about this whole situation -you spend time and energy to make sure that she's happy and seem to get...well, not much in return. The fact that she's maintaining contact with this guy (who I'm assuming you still haven't met) is really -excuse my harsh language- pretty shitty (and when did she get his phone number?!). The fact that she thinks it's amusing that he creeps you out and gives you a bad vibe is also shitty. It's also, in my opinion, disrespectful.

Your statement about how you're happy when you're making her happy just...gnaws at me -has since I read it. I'm honestly not trying to be rude or make you mad, but this is the one thing I hate hearing from people in relationships. It just sounds so one-sided to me, like you're saying no matter what happens, no matter how much your feelings get hurt or how much she disrespects you, it's okay as long as you're making her happy. The reality of it, though, is that you are the only person that can make you happy -no one else. Making the people around you happy should just be a bonus.

[DarkInuLord]

I don't know when she got his number, maybe he left it with mom. (Though, knowing her she would have just thrown it away because he's 26 and wanting to get with her daughter.) I do trust her judgment, and if she does go to the creeps house, I'm sure she'll get the same creepy pedo vibe I get. Besides, I swear to god if the 'Carving' of her is nude, I'll tear the guy apart, starting with his testicles.

She might not be respectful, and she's more than a little naive, but I know she's not doing it intentionally, that's why I don't mind. I'll just continue to nudge her in the right direction, like I've been doing.

Also, naivety has a scale, in my mind.

Cute-naive: That's when you're like ":: Chuckle :: You're so naive. xD"

Naive: ":: Rolls eyes :: You're sooo naive."

Too naive: "Ugh, you're so fucking naive...."

I think she's teetering around Naive-too naive, to be honest...

Your statement about how you're happy when you're making her happy just...gnaws at me -has since I read it. I'm honestly not trying to be rude or make you mad, but this is the one thing I hate hearing from people in relationships. It just sounds so one-sided to me, like you're saying no matter what happens, no matter how much your feelings get hurt or how much she disrespects you, it's okay as long as you're making her happy. The reality of it, though, is that you are the only person that can make you happy -no one else. Making the people around you happy should just be a bonus.

But it's true, when I can make her smile, or make her laugh.. I'm the happiest person in the world for all I care. She says that she has trouble being happy, and she doesn't really smile or laugh, but when we're alone, we can just talk and laugh for hours on end. It really is what makes me happy, and knowing that I can make her smile with the smallest comment, and completely forget about her alcoholic parents, makes it all worth it, really.

I know this is going to sound entirely contradictory, but she's also really thoughtful. I had been complaining about being cold while working outside, this winter, and I didn't even notice that I was doing it. The next thing I know, she had knitted me a scarf, and bought me some socks. It was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, to be honest.

And, I know this entire thread is me either complaining about something thoughtless she says, or defending her because... I guess I let emotions run my life, and when something 'strikes a cord' in me, I end up posting it here. But most of the things you've read, are just moments where she's not thinking, and I know that's a dumb excuse, but it's true. I like the fact that she feels she can be honest with me, and tell me things that might make a normal guy angry or jealous. Even if I get jealous at the WRONG things. xD Like her having a dream that Hiruma from Eyeshield 21 was making out with her... I mean, why would I get jealous at anime characters?

Maybe I should start posting our daily MSN conversations, or something. I mean, things like this that get to me only happen about once a week, or every other week. I'd invite her to the forum, but this thread might actually piss her off, even though she's only truly been mad at me once. xD She explained that today, that the other small things that happened she wasn't really mad at, she was just pouting about it, and was being childish and 'ignoring' me.

Anyways... I couldn't sleep with all this crap on my mind, maybe this will help me sleep better. Night guys.

[RikuDrak]

=/

Don't invite her to the forums if she's not actually a legal adult. This is adultfanfiction, after all, and I'd like to believe at least the forums are that way. Even if this thread wouldn't piss her off.

Anyways, I am feeling a bit annoyed/frustrated by this situation (silly that I should get that way about another person's life ). Now, I'm not saying this is what you're doing, but it comes across as feeling genuinely unhappy as she disregards your feelings in the relationship and then forgetting it all once it's passed because you don't want anything to actually change. Which bothers me a little. You're a good guy, you shouldn't have to feel like you're giving more than receiving. Relationships work both ways.

But I guess, regardless of any advice you receive from here, you'll do what you chose and experience what you will ('tis your life after all, not anyone elses).

I just hope you don't continue to subject yourself to such a draining occurance for much longer. I've had a similar experience with my mother, and although that's quite different, the both ways thing still stands. I was giving far too much and receiving absolutely nothing and my mother expected me to keep giving. Well, I've taken a stance against it even as hard as it may be. She's my mother after all, and the only constant person in my entire life for many years.

[kokiden]

It sounds like she wants to experiment and hang out with this other guy.

You sound like a really, really good guy. I think you can find someone better than her. I know it hurts, but you're both still young. Try not to be too crushed if she leaves you. In fact, it might be better if you could find it in yourself to call it quits.

I know that's kind of intrusive and probably unwelcome, but... you know, if you told her you wanted to back off, you might find out what her true intentions were. If she even knows.

[DarkInuLord]

Oh dear god...... Well, I was going to continue my other story, after I finished this oneshot, but re-reading what I already had, I literally facepalmed...

Here's a paragraph from it.

"Actually, the reason why I approached you was, I couldn't help but notice the way your eyes shone with life, and I would love to capture that on a canvas." He smirked as she blushed even darker and bowed her head down, pulling at an imaginary thread on her dark blue shirt. "Well, what is your answer... Rin... Will you allow me the pleasure of painting you?" He stressed the word 'pleasure'. "Umm... It won't be anything perverted will it?" He shook his head. "Could I see some of your other paintings before deciding?" He nodded. "Of course, but you would have to come back to my home to see them, I don't exactly carry them around with me." She nodded and stood up, grabbing her purse from the booth then turned to him with a smile. "Shall we?"

Remind you of anything? Though, Rin has more common sense than a certain girlfriend I know. Unfortunately, my girlfriend helped me write a part of this story, so she's read it... Ack.

[Becca Star]

ARE YOU SERIOUS????

No offense but your girl has PROBLEMS!!...

After I read everyone's responses I'll give you a better comment than this....

[cu-kid9]

Remind you of anything?

Well...you know what they say: Write what you know...

[DarkInuLord]

Well...you know what they say: Write what you know...

Actually, this is something I wrote a few months ago, and she helped me with. >>

[cu-kid9]

That's actually not really funny, but sort of weird...

[Juno]

You know, I hate to jump on this thread so late in the game, but... well, my friend is essentially going through the exact same situation as yours, and I've helped him through that.

Let me begin by stating that I am young, at 18 years old, but even I can say for certain that things this girl has done is unacceptable. As a girl, I can say that, at one point in my life, I was naive too, and I even had once thought that having a boy interested in me and my body was flattering. Now I'm a bit more knowledgeable and find incidents, like your girlfriend's "shirt one" decidedly pathetic and appears to be an attempt at gaining attention, with no offense to you or your girlfriend.

My friend, let's say his name is Matt (which is isn't, but for anonymity purposes, it is), and he's dating this girl, let's call her Jane. They had been dating for a little over two years, and seemed like the perfect couple; they just sort of fit, or so it seemed. Talk had even gone on about them getting married after they graduated high school. However, at the beginning of this year, Matt told him Jane had started to get... weird. She seemed a little more standoffish, and began hanging out with people to do pot, but forbade Matt to go with her. Even well before this incident, Matt's friend, Joe, had moved to Georgia, and when he moved back after a year, Jane told Joe he was only allowed to see Matt for up to a maximum of 2 times a week. If we jump to the present, Jane had forbid Matt from hanging out with anyone nearly throughout the entire relationship, although he "disobeyed" her and began hanging out with me, Joe, and our friends. Matt had said that it wasn't Jane's fault he never hung out with anyone; it was his, because he didn't want to. Bullshit, I said. Anytime I went over to Matt's house with friends, including Jane, she would always have to "have a talk" with him, which would last well over 45 minutes to an hour.

Fastforward a few months, and suddenly comes Christmas, where I went to Denny's with a few friends. Matt had declined coming with us because he was going to hang out with Jane. My friends and I found her at Denny's, with a guy she and Matt worked with. I only knew who he was because I met him at a Christmas Party a few days earlier. When I later talked to Matt, he told me Jane had blown him off three times during the course of the day, and he later found out it was so she could hang out with this guy. A few days later, Jane told Matt she wanted to "take a break." Matt was devastated, because he was completely devoted to this girl, in very much the same way you sound like you are devoted to your girlfriend, Dark. A couple days later, Jane came out and said she had no intentions of getting back together with Matt, and that she was dating this co-worker of theirs.

A week later, Jane came back to Matt, saying she had dumped this co-worker boyfriend and that she wasn't quite sure if she wanted him back or not; she "didn't know what she wanted," he told me.

Now, Jane is a fairly nice girl. She has always been polite and nice to me, and I would never have any qualms with her if I did not know what was going on behind closed doors with her and Matt. But her behavior is utter bullshit, and not acceptable in any relationship; she was controlling, jealous, paranoid and desperate for attention. Matt continuously made excuses like, "well, her home-life is bad, and she said she has some psychological problems, so I can't blame her." Well, ok, don't blame her. But I told Matt that all of those things may be true, but it is not his responsibility to "cure" her. That should be done by professionals, if her problems are really that severe. That goes to you too, Dark. To me, it sounds like you are making excuses for her behavior, even when they are hurting you so bad and you know they are morally wrong.

What also strikes me, Dark, is that it sounds like this relationship is defining who you are, your identity. I don't mean to sound so harsh in what I say, but I just came out of the same situation. I was dating a boy who I completely was devoted to--he was my first love, I believe. I, too, had visions of spending the rest of my life with him, and even though there were things that bugged me about him or he did things I didn't necessarily like, I made excuses to myself; "Oh, I must be setting my bar way too high." Eventually my own indentity was enveloped by his own, by the state of the relationship. When he dumped me, I was absolutely devastated.

And yet I found, in time, that it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. It finally made me realize that I need to get my own basic emotional needs down first, before I start looking for a serious relationship with someone else. Besides, it's funny to look back on myself in my prior relationship, in thinking on how happy I was, when really, I wasn't. I am so much happier now, being alone, because I have a sense of identity and self that I didn't before. It's enabled me to weed out guys who I would normally latch on to, just for the sake of dating someone.

So, my long-winded advice to you, Dark, is that I know you may be so completely devoted to this girl, but it really sounds like she is taking advantage of you, which is not a good thing. Even though it may hurt at first, taking a break from the relationship and being alone for a while is a great way to self-reflect and emotionally learn about yourself. If it really is "true love," then she will understand, and come back to you in time.

Please also note that I don't know either of you, and although my comments may seem very opinionated and judgemental, I'm just sort of recalling how I felt about my friend's plight, which is similar to yours. I don't mean to offend or hurt you or your girlfriend.

[DarkInuLord]

I really don't think she's taking advantage of me, in any way. It's not because she just wants someone to date, a bunch of guys have asked her out since we started dating, ones with more money, and stuff. Hell, she even says she wants to buy me stuff all the time, since I'm definitely hurting for cash, and she's got nothing to spend all of her's on. >>

And I'm paranoid about the 'taking a break' thing. Three of my friends have been dumped in the last week, two girls and a guy, horribly paranoid right now.

[greenwizard]

I know exactly how you feel. Situations like yours are why I date men, though that isn't without it's own problems. I am a very insecure person and I constantly need reassured. I drive my current boyfriend crazy. But fortunately for me he loves me and puts up with me.

I don't know your gf personally, but from what you've writen, I'd throw her out of a third story window. First of all, seriously, who goes into someone's apartment and just takes their shirt off without a second thought...? I mean, I'm a blond, and I'm not even that stupid. I would take a guess that she knew what she was doing the entire time. Maybe she just felt like a little excitement.

And her saying things that upset you.... that is just plain wrong. I've said hurtful things to people while I'm fighting with them, but I always apologize when we make up. She might have seemed like the perfect girl when you started dating, but a lot of times you don't get to know the real person until you've been dating a while. Even if she seems back to her old sweet self, she did it once she'll do it again.