haruha_raharu Posted January 5, 2008 Report Posted January 5, 2008 (edited) Title: Interruption to a Bath Author: Me Rating: Adult++ Summary: The main reason I'm putting a promotion here is because I just added the 4th chapter to this story. It is by far my longest and most conversation-heavy chapter, so I wanted to receive some feedback on how it worked out. The main story is pretty much straight-up porn, as it's meant to be, centering around a relationship between Kanako and Keitaro. The latest chapter involves Haruka. There are no real spoilers other than the fact that Keitaro actually has a little sister, which was a bit of a surprise towards the end of Love Hina. Feedback: That's why I'm promoting it. Fandom: Love Hina URL: http://anime.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600040908 Edited January 5, 2008 by haruha_raharu Quote
haruha_raharu Posted February 2, 2008 Author Report Posted February 2, 2008 I just updated this with a new chapter. The last chapter was overly long and detailed, so one thing I concentrated on was to shorten and tighten up the writing for this chapter. Everything is a lot more concise. I'd like some feedback on how that worked out, what worked, what didn't. Quote
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