Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

[HunterOpera]

Preferably Brannigan will survive Ridley, but I can see why he wouldn't.

The problem with Ridley as Samus's abuser is that he is too powerful. Even without the kaayes and all of the planet's wildlife and fauna, Ridley can easily subdue Samus even in her prime, assuming she does not have her suit with her.

The appeal of Brannigan dominating Samus is that if both were facing off on even footing with their gear, Samus would come out on top, every time. It's the tipping of the power scale between the two that makes Samus's subjugation all the more humiliating. It took days of invested wearing and tearing down Samus before Brannigan could control her to his whim. It would be a shame to see all that go to waste if Ridley immediately takes over and kicks an already weakened Samus around. It's taking candy from a baby, and altogether a lot less arousing.

But you have the writing chops, and Ridley by himself is a solid character to base any story off of, so I defer to your choice of narration. I just hope Brannigan doesn't die too quickly. He was a lot of fun to read.

I like Brannigan. I really do. But he is way out of his depth; I'd like him to survive but I don't have much hope for him, because at this point it's honestly up to Ridley and Ridley is the worst thing that can happen to anyone.

Brannigan played in strongly with the themes I wanted to explore in the Forest Arc, specifically inverting the idea of growing stronger. It's one of the larger tropes in the Metroid games, the idea of Samus constantly getting upgrades until she becomes almost godlike. I wanted to take that away and see if she would still remain Samus Aran, and the truth is that ultimately she does for the simple reason that she is Samus Aran; her defining characteristic is that nothing defeats her, not ever, not for long. But, like the Cave Arc and the Shore Arc, we're now moving into new territory.

Isolation and courage are two of the other big themes of Metroid, and that's what I'm looking to subvert here. I guess we'll find out if I'm successful or not soon enough... I can promise you that Ridley is not going to kick Samus around. He is terror, pure and simple, and we'll get more into detail with him soon enough.

This is honestly more than a bit of a risk, and I'm really hoping it works - if it does it'll be awesome and set up more cool stuff down the line, but things are about to get really dark...

[HunterOpera]

DrkVrtx said:

Aw man, you can't end it there! Guess that's why the chapter is titled 'Hook' though, huh.

I love how Samus' manner changes the moment Ridley puts in his appearance, how he makes her forget her circumstance entirely until she is forcefully reminded of it. Brannigan is immediately forgotten, pushed to the sidelines, and it's only Samus and Ridley that matter. Of course, this is not so, and Brannigan reasserts himself - or tries to, because both Ridley and Samus know that Brannigan's 'business' with her is finished. It's over as soon as Ridley addresses Brannigan without looking at him, even though he is standing above Samus in a position of power. Also interesting is the structure of Ridley's speech, which I assume is intentional. I can't seem to find a consistent pattern within it just yet, unlike the speech patterns of the Kaayes and Kriken.

Been a while since we've seen Mia Xen, and it looks like she is well and truly under the Krikens' spell. I had to smile at this though: 'C'mon... w-what would S-samus do?' Well, right now? Samus wouldn't be able to do much. In comparison I suppose, Mia doesn't know how good she has it.

... that actually is the reason for the chapter's name, yes. There were a few titles that I tossed around, but ultimately only Hook seemed to work. Kinda glad you caught it.

Brannigan is in way over his head, but we'll get to that soon enough. I honestly don't know what's going to happen to him, though I'm writing the scene right now and should be posting sometime tonight or tomorrow. Ridley, Samus, and Brannigan have all done things I didn't expect them to do, and having all three of them in a scene together is letting a lot of strong personalities assert themselves.

I imagine Ridley sounds like the Prince in "Ink," or the doctor in "Dark City" - my cousin and I were batting around ideas and he's got a character named Pitch in one of his series that talks the exact same way. I think it works, as both characters are terrible, pretty much the worst people in their worlds, and terrifyingly overpowered. Ridley and Pitch are both disjointed creatures that break the souls of others - my cousin wanted a dialogue trick that reflected that and I wanted to steal it. Imagine that each break is a new sentence with a slightly different tone.

Mia's had some things happen during her time with the Kriken and has a serious hero complex when it comes to Ms. Aran, but we'll get to her very soon. She's another person, like Brannigan, who is very good at what she does but is punching way above her pay grade.

It'll be interesting, I think, to see how she fares in the coming scenes.

[HunterOpera]

DRkVrtx said:

3000047929 I have to say, Keaton's almost insensible calm whilst being hunted down by Sylux is quite amusing. Wonder if he'll be able to work his mind magic again.

I was wondering if Melissa would intervene in the standoff between Brannigan and Ridley - I've no doubt that she's been watching him. Still, I'm curious as to what she's been getting up to, as we haven't seen her for a few chapters. I'm sure she'd have something to say regarding how easily (and cruelly) Ridley dealt with Brannigan.

Now that Brannigan is dead, I admit that I've no inclination as to what you're going to do with Ridley/Samus now. I don't know about anyone else, but for me, Brannigan's end seemed to signify a possible marked shift in the tone of the story, namely because I don't think Ridley will be using sex/pleasure as a weapon against Samus. But then again, I could very easily be wrong. What would repulse Samus more than to be driven to pleasure by the murderer of her family - biological and adopted - and the destroyer of her home? Hmm, we'll see I guess.

As to Mia Xen...at last, she is free! But is she walking herself back into the control of the Kriken/Kaayes by going to take out the ship's weapon systems? I hope not. It's good to see her back to her senses and in control of her actions/choices, and it's definitely time for her to be more than the Krikens' pet.

I don't see much rattling Keaton; he's calm in even the worst situations, and he's alright with losing so long as his enemies die. He's a vicious, vicious predator; a friend of mine has been playing a similar character in a sit-down rpg, and he spends about half the time convincing the good guy he's a good guy, which amuses us all ooc.

Next chapter actually starts with Melissa - that part is written, and goes a bit into what she saw when she touched Ridley's mind. She is not happy about what's currently going on and things are spiraling out of control for her; I see her being ferociously intelligent and powerful, but emotionally immature and insane. We'll get to that presently.

Ridley has his own plans, for his own reasons, and I've reworked his opening scene with Samus a few times - there's a lot of complexity to both their characters and circumstances, and I want to make sure I nail the tone and theme I'm going for. If this works it should be creepy and hot and terrifying. If it doesn't, well, it'll be messy.

And Mia has some moments of awesome coming her way. She's earned them, and that'll start us building towards the eventual climax, which is two or three more arcs after this one wraps up.

Edited April 25, 2013 by HunterOpera

[MorbidFantasy]

I was sitting on this chapter waiting to comment after you've updated, but I guess there's no sense in waiting.

Brannigan's sendoff was solidly spectacular. I'm sad to see him go but look forward to see what you think Ridley is going to do next. I'm not familiar enough with the Metroid universe to understand Ridley beyond his being a insanely destructive entity, so I won't be able to call you out or anything if the portrayal is not entirely in line with cannon.

In any case, hope you update soon, and if you want to see what I've been working on with FMC shoot me a pm or something. I've honestly just started over again with the next chapter because the old one fell out of favor.

[HunterOpera]

I was sitting on this chapter waiting to comment after you've updated, but I guess there's no sense in waiting.

Brannigan's sendoff was solidly spectacular. I'm sad to see him go but look forward to see what you think Ridley is going to do next. I'm not familiar enough with the Metroid universe to understand Ridley beyond his being a insanely destructive entity, so I won't be able to call you out or anything if the portrayal is not entirely in line with cannon.

In any case, hope you update soon, and if you want to see what I've been working on with FMC shoot me a pm or something. I've honestly just started over again with the next chapter because the old one fell out of favor.

The month went weird on me. My goal is still to finish the desert arc as quickly as I can, preferably before summer starts. It's all skeletoned out, it just needs a few hours per chapter to get done - but things have been insane on my end and it's slowing this project somewhat.

Ridley in a nutshell: he's immortal, eats people, and hates everything. In canon, the only thing that even slows him down is Samus. He doesn't need the pirates to resurrect him, though they make the process quicker. He's one of their top agents, always succeeding at his goals when Samus is not involved, but in canon he's beaten her a couple of times - one of the only creatures that's ever managed to do so. The Zebesians that go out on missions with him tend not to survive; he's just as happy killing them as anyone else.

He killed her world, ate her parents, killed her adoptive family, killed that world. He's intelligent, sadistic, and tactically sound. He's aware of things going on around him on a level other creatures are incapable of. He's always one of the toughest boss fights in whatever game he's in. Other M did some pretty horrible things to him, but Other M did horrible things to everyone and I'm attempting to fix that. With smut. I think I've been largely successful so far.

And I'm sending you a PM right now.

[Guest Gruffard]

I was wondering if "Hermione Granger and the Bastet Collar" was a dropped project or just onthe backburner compared to your other projects?

[HunterOpera]

I was wondering if "Hermione Granger and the Bastet Collar" was a dropped project or just onthe backburner compared to your other projects?

Back burner, sadly. The last month has been completely insane irl and I need to get the Ridley thing for Bergman out of my head before it drives me crazy(ier). It is not dropped; I might end up finishing it after I'm done with Ridley just as a palette cleanser.

[HunterOpera]

Regarding the Bergman Affair, newenglandee said:

Stop doing this to her. It is not anything new. It is not daring or edgy. All I feel is hatred for you for putting Samus through this, and disgust as an author for seeing another author treating a badass female in this fashion. Putting women in distress is not new or avante-garde, its been done to death. And having this happen to Samus over and over isn't erotic or interesting, its a thirty minute endurance fest I'm forced to put up with. Just let her kick Mother Brain's ass already. Why the hell has nobody shown up to investigate this?

Um, still no. This story is going to go where it goes. For the sake of anyone reading this after the fact, this post happened after I posted the chapter called Atrocity to the Bergman Affair. It's a well named chapter, and I can't really fault newenglandee for his/her response.

That said, I'm not aiming for new or edgy with this. I'm not really into shock, swerve, or gore - though I'm perfectly willing to support those that are. I don't get fur, vore, guro, or any of that sort of thing, but I'm more than willing to let those that are have their fictional fun. Part and parcel of being a fan. I am, however, trying to tell a story, and these past few chapters have become a part of it. It's going into some pretty dark places, though this is, I think, the darkest it's going to get.

I'm not sure what the context is to the last question. If it's an inquiry into why no one has gone to YS7-23, it's because no one knows it - or Samus - is there other than those that have a vested interest in keeping both those pieces if information private. That and, by the tropes associated with Metroid, when Samus does finally triumph (and she will), it must be on her own. She is not going to be rescued by any agency other than herself.

Badass males and females in distress is the crux of any story. The bad guy does something bad, and the good guy tries to stop them. We want the good guy to succeed. Within the context of story, showing that the characters are good or bad allows people to make their own decisions as to who those characters are and why they do the things they do.

Do I agree with what Ridley is doing? No. He's an abomination, and this past chapter was called "Atrocity" for a reason. Do I sympathize with Samus for wanted to keep everyone else safe from him using whatever means are at her disposal? Yes. Yes, I do. I hope other people are catching that last part, because if they are it means I'm doing my job as a writer.

Mother Brain isn't in this story. She's only in two Metroid games (Zero Mission was a remake). Melissa Bergman is a clone of Samus with Mother Brain inside, which is not the same thing. And while Samus may eventually kick her ass, we're still a ways off from that.

I am curious as to who is forcing you to read this, though. If it isn't your kettle of fish you can stop reading and go do anything else; tell the person forcing you to do anything against your will to stop bugging you. Establish a safeword. These things are important.

And, um, thanks for reading...? See you next mission.

[HunterOpera]

Regarding the Bergman Affair, DrkVrtx said:

One thing I'm curious about: how do you go about constructing Ridley's speech? Is there a particular pattern to where you break up his words? If there is, it's eluding me, though it is interesting.

So, if Melissa hadn't recalled Sylux - I think that's what she did, right? - I would pretty much be thinking that Samus is finished (but even then, what can Sylux achieve?). How relentless of you not to give her any respite between Brannigan and Ridley. I now see what you meant about things becoming progressively darker, a promise made particularly poignant by lines like this: 'She wept and tried to focus her mind on that, swimming through agony to cling to the comfort of rape'. You know, when the character gets to a point so low that such thoughts come about...well, I have to wonder what state Samus' mind is in at this point. She's responding to Brannigan's commands without the influence of Kaayes, and as aforementioned is given no time between Brannigan and Ridley to recollect herself. Is she finally broken at this point, or will she be in the near future?

Also, about those commands...no idea if any other readers feel the same, but this interaction between Ridley/Samus was decidedly un-arousing - and I say that as a good thing. It's interesting that with Brannigan, the circumstance got me all hot and bothered whereas the way in which Ridley is using the commands produces a feeling that's...not quite revulsion. I'm not quite sure how to word it. Imagine that I'm wincing with each cut Ridley makes; whatever word describes that is how I feel.

Lastly, and perhaps a minor point, but it does seem odd to me that both Samus/Ridley would know what Ling Chi is. That's waaaay back in human history (if Wikipedia isn't lying to me) and I'm just wondering how either party would have come into that knowledge. I'm just nitpicking with smaller details there; it's something that can easily be ignored. Though perhaps it might have been better to ascribe a Chozo/Zebesian or some other alien language's word to the same act, just so that it relates more readily to the space the characters inhabit. I'd also love if you could keep up this rate of updates, but that probably isn't feasible for you, is it? (Real Life, argh!)

I imagine I'm Keither Sutherland's character from Dark City when working out Ridley's cadence. My cousin came up with the idea when writing one of his characters, and I stole it because it's a good one. Imagine a complete tonal shift whenever there's a period, like he finished one sentence and began another. Then imagine him singing it, like a tenor saxophone. I like to think his voice is resonate, verging on beautiful, which only makes being around him that much worse.

The one trope of the Metroid Mythos I'm unwilling to break is the one where Samus has to win. She would have found a way to beat Brannigan, I'm sure, and we'll get back to her and Ridley soon enough. Melissa has indeed called Sylux back to help her deal with Ridley, and she's going to need all the firepower she can get. Ridley makes everything worse than it would otherwise be, and this past chapter is about as dark as this story is going to get - though we are not done with Ridley quite yet.

Samus is not doing well, psychologically speaking. She's suffering a complete mental breakdown regarding her identity and the events of the story are beginning to take their toll on her. She's been on YS7-23 for four and a half months at this point (did anyone ever work out my time thing?), and the only time she's had to herself was when she was in the caves, just before entering the forest. That was about a month ago, in story. In that time she's been reduced from apex predator to bottom of the food chain, suffered at the hands of one enemy that should be beneath her and another that should be her nemesis, and she has not been able to do anything.

Currently, she's free for the first time since fighting the SporeSpawn, as Ridley's removed the armor that had become her prison. Sadly, she's still being held by Ridley, so her new-found freedom is not doing her much good, and Ridley is not giving her any time to recover. Even if things get better for her, what she's already suffered is really taking its toll.

That sense of not quite revulsion was exactly what I was aiming for. There's an old writing trick used for television and film called the Rule of Threes, where you introduce something, continue that same something, and then change it. It plays on reader/watcher expectation and drives the point home of changing circumstances, which was very much what I wanted to get across with this. Glad that worked.

As for why Ridley knows what the Ling Che is, well, we'll get into that next chapter.

[Guest Sheeps]

I don't like gore, but I understand the necessity for the story to dip into these dark depths. Holding too many punches would ruin the story, but I feel that you've done a good job drilling in the dark without crossing the line into "revolting" territory. That said, I'm happy to move forward from here knowing that the worst is over and, if anything, I'm more eager to see our beloved heroine's comeback.

[HunterOpera]

I don't like gore, but I understand the necessity for the story to dip into these dark depths. Holding too many punches would ruin the story, but I feel that you've done a good job drilling in the dark without crossing the line into "revolting" territory. That said, I'm happy to move forward from here knowing that the worst is over and, if anything, I'm more eager to see our beloved heroine's comeback.

Thanks, man. I tried to avoid gore as much as possible - Melissa's game is about pleasure instead of pain, which helps, but then Ridley shows up and the whole game changes. I think the Ling Che works because it does skirt that line; the idea is to never inflict deeper than a papercut on the victim. The Ling Che actually caused people to die from pain rather than injury or bloodloss, so that keeps gore out of it entirely while sating Ridley's needs.

Really glad that line wasn't crossed. It made for some tricky writing. The rest of Ridley's infliction in this story is mostly emotional, and Samus is overdo a moment of awesome that I'm really looking forward to writing...

[Guest DrkVrtx]

'Imagine a complete tonal shift whenever there's a period, like he finished one sentence and began another. Then imagine him singing it, like a tenor saxophone. I like to think his voice is resonate, verging on beautiful, which only makes being around him that much worse.'

Goodness. I think I'll try that next time around. I had been imagining that Ridley possessed something of a rasping tone, and that each point where a new sentence begins is the final word of the last ending with some sort of elongated hiss.

I hadn't been keeping specific track of the passage of time actually, though I was somewhat aware that a good deal had passed by at this point. Samus was kept in the caves for a while, and then under Brannigan for a while, and now the same for Ridley. So four or so months, huh? Wow. And she is yet to actually break. You know, when all is said and done, I'm wondering what kind of comeuppance everyone involved is going to receive once Samus manages to make the impossible possible. I mean, how do you repay someone who is ultimately responsible for all that Samus has encountered and endured? Will Samus add YS7-23 to her list of planets/eco-systems destroyed?

[HunterOpera]

'Imagine a complete tonal shift whenever there's a period, like he finished one sentence and began another. Then imagine him singing it, like a tenor saxophone. I like to think his voice is resonate, verging on beautiful, which only makes being around him that much worse.'

Goodness. I think I'll try that next time around. I had been imagining that Ridley possessed something of a rasping tone, and that each point where a new sentence begins is the final word of the last ending with some sort of elongated hiss.

I hadn't been keeping specific track of the passage of time actually, though I was somewhat aware that a good deal had passed by at this point. Samus was kept in the caves for a while, and then under Brannigan for a while, and now the same for Ridley. So four or so months, huh? Wow. And she is yet to actually break. You know, when all is said and done, I'm wondering what kind of comeuppance everyone involved is going to receive once Samus manages to make the impossible possible. I mean, how do you repay someone who is ultimately responsible for all that Samus has encountered and endured? Will Samus add YS7-23 to her list of planets/eco-systems destroyed?

I'm pretty sure, one all is said and done, Samus is going to utterly destroy everything on YS7-23. That's actually in my notes for the story - "Samus returns and destroys everything with manic glee" - though that's the outro and not much of a spoiler.

We have a long way to go til we get to that point.

[Guest Rol]

Huge huge fan of the samus tale man . gotta question and wondered if cool to PM you?

[HunterOpera]

Huge huge fan of the samus tale man . gotta question and wondered if cool to PM you?

Thanks. I really need to get back to this sometime soon... irl has been insane lately.

PM away and I'll get back as quickly as I can.

[Guest RolRol]

Apologies, having some account trouble and can't send a PM. Any chance I can email instead? All good if you prefer not man, hope to get account fixed in few days.

Appreciate your time dude.

[HunterOpera]

Apologies, having some account trouble and can't send a PM. Any chance I can email instead? All good if you prefer not man, hope to get account fixed in few days.

Appreciate your time dude.

Hunteropera@gmail.com

[MorbidFantasy]

Any chance of an update? I check AFF almost every day hoping you're back in action writing Samus out of this quandary she's in.

[HunterOpera]

Any chance of an update? I check AFF almost every day hoping you're back in action writing Samus out of this quandary she's in.

Prognosis is good. I'm on vacation from the 3rd to the 9th, and that's usually when I start experimenting with whatever techniques I'm shooting for. My plan is to finish the Ridley Arc for Bergman, wrap up Hermione, and maybe start something new and short while I'm at it.

And, ye gods, the end of this arc... it's either going to be awesome or it's going to blow up in my face. I can't wait to find out which.

[HunterOpera]

Regarding Hermione Granger and the Bastetr Collar, MollysSister wrote:

Oh my goodness Umbridge's behavior towards Hermione is just incidious! Not to mention deeply twisted, and I do mean that as a compliment to the author. Thank fuck Ginny realized what was going on, I thought Hermione was a gonner for sure. Maybe she still is?? Meepers!!

I'm glad the insidiousness appeals. There's a lot to be said for Umbridge, who in many ways is an evil that easier to understand than Voldemort, who is much more intelligent and abstract. There's a core of banal cruelty to Umbridge: I sort of see her as the embodiment of the old "crab bucket" thing. She's awful, in short, and I hate her just as much as Ginny does.

This story wraps up in the chapter following the one I just posted, so it won't be long til you know for certain. I hope it lives up to your expectations.

And, on a personal note, I owe you an apology for not responding to your review within that forty-eight hour window. The email that I signed up to AFF with is actually dead - I can't access it and it's not forwarding me any more information - and I haven't figured out if there's a way to change that core email (one would think I would have used hunteropera@gmail.com to start with, but, well...). I'm sorry this took so long. Thank you for reading.

[HunterOpera]

In regards to the Bergman Affair, DrkVrtx wrote:

Real Life Syndrome hit hard, huh = ) Happy to see an update, though I had to jog the memory a little to remember recent details. Reading this latest chapter I have this feeling that the tone of the story has changed, though I can't quite explain it. It has this feel to it as though the story is approaching it's endgame, or perhaps just the end of an arc?. The degree of Samus' suffering up to this current point is put into perspective and I honestly have no idea if she'll be able to endure anymore. Then again, Ridley has new playthings to hand, so maybe Samus will have some sort of reprieve. Also good to Mia Xen out of the clutches of the Kriken proper; I had to smile at her 'what would Samus do now?' moment, because well...

Real life's been mostly awesome lately, just busy. Mindlessly, endlessly busy. I finally got to escape from it for a couple weeks and managed to get my head straight, a process which always involves a lot of writing, some of which involves this kind of writing. It's win-win, really.

The tone has changed; I've been working things in, trying to make subtle shifts from one arc to the next, but a big part of the Desert Arc is Ridley's tendency to disrupt everything. He's not subtle and the havoc he wrecks is fairly massive both in-world and to the story structure itself. He's insane entropy, really, and I'm glad that this arc is wrapping up for a variety of reasons.

I'm just putting the finishing touches on the next chapter now. Should be up in the next hour or so.

[MorbidFantasy]

Have to say, the four new chapters were pretty tight.

I almost think Samus got off easy towards the end. First MB and Madeleine deliberately shows up to distract Ridley, then Ridley deliberately handicaps himself to make him "killable", then sylux, then surprise rocket from Brannigan.

Fascinating origin story for Sylux however. Is it an origin story? or is the canon Sylux still a different entity?

I also really liked the detail about MB modifying her neural pathways to affect her memories, effectively removing the psychological trauma of being raped by Ridley. It would even be cooler if she used those same abilities to transfer all those memories into Samus instead, making Samus "remember" all of that overwhelming pleasure. Just an idea.

And the obvious question: now what?

I could imagine things going several ways. Either Ridley isn't phased by losing his Zebesian body, and simply enters a state of intermission, only to show up again in short order; or he is gone from the picture for a longer period of time allowing opposition to him to build up.

And what of Samus? Is her ordeal done? Are you ending this story soon? Did her being saved have nothing to do with her own abilities but rather a series of occurrences largely out of her control or perhaps even unfathomable to her? A part of me thinks this would be somewhat of a Deus Ex Machima, similar to if I abruptly created a powerful third party in my Fat Man Chronicles fic that conveniently saved Lara, killed/subdued her tormenters, and erased all evidence of her being tormented.

I don't actually have anything against resolving plot threads with actions outside of a protagonist's actions. Real life is often like that. On the other hand, I've really enjoyed seeing you torment Samus in this fic, and wouldn't mind a bit if you found a way to extend her captivity.

[HunterOpera]

Have to say, the four new chapters were pretty tight.

I almost think Samus got off easy towards the end. First MB and Madeleine deliberately shows up to distract Ridley, then Ridley deliberately handicaps himself to make him "killable", then sylux, then surprise rocket from Brannigan.

Fascinating origin story for Sylux however. Is it an origin story? or is the canon Sylux still a different entity?

I also really liked the detail about MB modifying her neural pathways to affect her memories, effectively removing the psychological trauma of being raped by Ridley. It would even be cooler if she used those same abilities to transfer all those memories into Samus instead, making Samus "remember" all of that overwhelming pleasure. Just an idea.

And the obvious question: now what?

I could imagine things going several ways. Either Ridley isn't phased by losing his Zebesian body, and simply enters a state of intermission, only to show up again in short order; or he is gone from the picture for a longer period of time allowing opposition to him to build up.

And what of Samus? Is her ordeal done? Are you ending this story soon? Did her being saved have nothing to do with her own abilities but rather a series of occurrences largely out of her control or perhaps even unfathomable to her? A part of me thinks this would be somewhat of a Deus Ex Machima, similar to if I abruptly created a powerful third party in my Fat Man Chronicles fic that conveniently saved Lara, killed/subdued her tormenters, and erased all evidence of her being tormented.

I don't actually have anything against resolving plot threads with actions outside of a protagonist's actions. Real life is often like that. On the other hand, I've really enjoyed seeing you torment Samus in this fic, and wouldn't mind a bit if you found a way to extend her captivity.

Thanks. I had a lot of fun writing them, though they went in some directions I never intended. It was interesting just sort of feeling around them and figuring out what was actually happening, given all the threads that were in place. I needed to resolved a lot of things and Ridley was just running amok - I knew where this was going and where he was coming from, but it was still a massive risk, I thought, taking him where I did.

Canon Sylux is a mystery - we know nothing about Sylux, and Nintendo tends to do the same pronoun game with Sylux that they initially did with Samus. All we know is that the Federation created the armor to be a match for Samus, and that whoever is in the armor destroyed the facility where it was made and killed everyone therein. Sylux is supposed to hate the Federation and the Zebesians both, and I needed to know why.

Damara comes from the manga and seemed like a good match for Samus, a nice mirror of how things can go horrifically wrong for people. I actually didn't know who Sylux was in this story until I was writing the chapter - my initial thought was who?, followed by brilliant!. It just seemed to click.

I reserve the right to respond to your fourth line at a later date.

This story is nowhere near done. There's three more arcs planned, with an epilogue to follow. Samus is not out of harm's way yet, and Melissa has had to deal with setbacks before and will have to deal with setbacks again. Samus is still not in any real place to challenge her, and this momentary reprieve is exactly that.

If anything, Samus was the Deus Ex Machima for Melissa, Damara, Madeline, and Brannigan - and none of them are going to be very happy to have that fact hanging over their heads. We should be looking at exactly how badly they take that sometime near the end of this month.

[HunterOpera]

Regarding Hermione Granger and the Bastet Collar, kain said:

Wait wait wait....so GINNY was the one behind the collar suggestion?! She passed the idea on the Umbridge as a part of some plan to subjugate Hermione and take out Umbridge!? I am totally mind fucked right now. And I don't know if it was answered previously but given the evidence does Hermione has some masochistic tendencies? This was a brilliant story but my god I feel like I have been put through an inception type ordeal with some added mindfuckery lol.

If Hermione didn't, she probably does now.

There's this whole thing about Harry having this massive support network and help dealing with Voldemort kinda being aware of a connection between the two, but Ginny was actively possessed by a Horcrux and nearly killed by it during her first year at Hogwart's, and nobody batted an eye. She'd be too young for anyone to have really noted any changes afterwards, and no one seems to care all that much.

That line where Hermione says "I forgot" and Ginny replies "Lucky you" actually happens, with Harry playing the part of Hermione in Order of the Phoenix. Given how much Harry's affected even knowing what's happening, how much do you think Ginny would be affected when she doesn't? There's no way to tell, and I wanted to play with that a bit.

Glad you liked it.

[HunterOpera]

Regarding Hermione Granger and the Bastet Collar, Eclectic_Pet said:

I did like the questionable way that this story ended. It leaves avenues open for other stories. Like how exactly, Ginny helped Hermione and what she meant by her comments about Percy saying the wrong thing.
But, the ultimate question...what did Ginny mean when she said that she would have Harry AND Hermione?
Please write more!!!!

There's a strong possibility of more on the way. I've been batting around some ideas with other people, and a possible rewrite of an old fic that would dovetail nicely into this one.