Windrider Shiva Posted June 29, 2012 Report Share Posted June 29, 2012 Hi hi folks! First of all, thank you for reviewing, it's very appreciated! I love constructive critiscism, it's always nice to see how I could improve, and I'm already learning for it. I might make a few changes to the start of my story in order to improve it, and upload the changes when I get to the next chapter. I'm always willing to discuss stuff, so don't be shy! From: xXKuroTenshi666Xx I like it so far! I never have seen a Nordic story before *claps* i can't wait for more! Thank you! I've never seen either (well not that I remember of), and it's partially why I posted it. I've suddenly grown to love the Nordic culture and right now, I can't get enough. So maybe if others show interest as well, there could be more people sharing their stories, and that'd be awesome. That was my reasoning XD. From: lisbetadair I'm interested by the idea of this story, as it involves a relationship between men within a culture and a time that I haven't seen that done before. So you've got an interesting idea to run with. Personally, I think you could spend a little more time setting the scene at the start of the books. There were suddenly a lot of named characters within the few opening paragraphs and it took me a few reads to sort out who was who. I think we could do with some more introductions to who the protagonists are and perhaps a little more time spent describing them so that we can visualise them a bit easier in our minds. A technical question: I always thought that Viking dwellings were single roomed longhouses. You describe quite an advanced construction with two storeys and doors, which seems to give them a potentially unrealistic amount of privacy. I'd be interested to see where this story goes over time, but it would be great to see it fleshed out with little more detail. Thanks a lot! I did notice the start can be hard to follow at times - even in my head it went by quite quickly. I might go back to that part and flesh it out more so it's not as confusing. I'll admit I'm not great with lengthy descriptions because I feel they get redundant when I write them, but I'll see what I can work out with my beta. As for the innaccuracies that are eventually going to happen... this one was partially deliberate. I've done some research, but mostly online during downtime, at work, which means I'm extremely limited in resources because of said job (I'm on monitored connections since we deal with non-disclosure material). The sad part is that I'm on an odd shift that would only let me do actual, book research... on the weekends only, or very early in the morning. And I'm not a morning person. Combine everything, and I couldn't find a lot of information on longhouses. So I went with what I had in mind. I'm trying to do more research on my free time. So it's obviously not going to be 100% accurate, and I know it's gonna bug the people who have more knowledge about it than I do. From: sauropod ooooh, vikings. this makes me awfully happy, you know, very promising, please continue! Thanks! I'm glad this makes other people happy XD. I have another chapter written down on paper and my phone, so it might take a little over a week for me to be able to put the next one up. I don't have a lot of free time except in the morning (where I'm unproductive because fuck mornings) and at night (where I'm too tired to be too productive). Oddly enough, I'm productive at work, but that's only because the project I'm on isn't extremely demanding. And on the weekends. But I will continue! ^^. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbet_Adair Posted June 30, 2012 Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 As for the innaccuracies that are eventually going to happen... this one was partially deliberate. So it's obviously not going to be 100% accurate, and I know it's gonna bug the people who have more knowledge about it than I do. Well, what I know about Viking culture is only because I was schooled in an area that was invaded by them, but that isn't much beyond very junior school level. There is a brief section on Viking culture in the BBC Website which might provide you with a brief overview to start with. You have the option of alt history here too, where you could develope a Viking civilisation with more advanced engineering. Oddly enough, I'm productive at work, but that's only because the project I'm on isn't extremely demanding. And on the weekends. But I will continue! ^^. I once went to a talk by the EFF Journalist and fiction writer Cory Doctorow, where he said something I found very useful "You don't need your special writing chair" by which he meant that travelling whilst reporting for EFF had obliged him to write in all sorts of difficult locations and in the end, the challenge of this helped him develop the skills he needed to be able to write anywhere. Admittedly, if you're writing erotica, this is difficult to do in a public place! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windrider Shiva Posted July 1, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Well, what I know about Viking culture is only because I was schooled in an area that was invaded by them, but that isn't much beyond very junior school level. There is a brief section on Viking culture in the BBC Website which might provide you with a brief overview to start with. You have the option of alt history here too, where you could develope a Viking civilisation with more advanced engineering. I like that idea. Most of it, I believe, is going to be quite... true to the spirit of the whole area. Well, I try. I was discussing this stuff over with my beta, who's found some useful links last night for me (I love her!) and well... it would have made sense for a higher-classed family. In my head, Skjaldr's father is a standard Viking guy who goes away for a long time and comes back with a lot of goods. I'm not saying he's loaded, but he definitely has it more... comfortable than the average farming household. But not a noble, no. For the scene with Thorvald spying on them, I had Skyrim in mind. I don't know if you've played the game, they are technicology more advanced than what I'm writing, but I couldn't help thinking about the house you can buy in Whiterun. Except... Viking-ized. A longhouse with a second story/sleeping quarters, while everything else was going down below. I'm using this to my own advantage, true. It definitely wasn't a standard, but some households did have similar settings. So I'm putting a light spin on the setting XD. I was somewhat surprised to read the guys had a lot of leasure time. I expected most of their time to be taken up by farming, fishing, travelling, but apparently, they had a lot of free time. Board games, ball games, gambling (I sooo have ideas for that) and so on. I like it because I can turn this semi-leasure time into a lot for my boys, especially if they're not too much needed around. I once went to a talk by the EFF Journalist and fiction writer Cory Doctorow, where he said something I found very useful "You don't need your special writing chair" by which he meant that travelling whilst reporting for EFF had obliged him to write in all sorts of difficult locations and in the end, the challenge of this helped him develop the skills he needed to be able to write anywhere. Admittedly, if you're writing erotica, this is difficult to do in a public place! Yeah, it's a little hard. I try starting sex scenes but I cut the writing before it gets too heavy, and I work on these outside work. I'm 99% sure no one would care - very, very chill and inclusive workplace - but it's still hard. It took me quite a bit to start writing sex scenes in public places, but at the café I usually hang out in, I do. Actually that's what I was supposed to do yesterday and I totally didn't, lol. But it all could change tomorrow. Right now, I'm on a low-maintainance project where most of the game isn't even translated, and the gameplay is "click, check the message, wait 5 minutes, check the message". Tomorrow, I could be working on another project, something more translated with a lot more issues where I'm the only tester for my language and have no time to write. I keep professional so... can't write. (But I believe I'm gonna be on this for a long, long time XD. And I really don't mind it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Windrider Shiva Posted July 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2012 Soifon[/url]']Now THIS' date=' this I like. Very nicely written, well thought out and the execution was excellent. Definitely looking forward to reading more. [/quote'] Thanks, I appreciate this ^^. I'm not working as fast as I intended to, but chapter 3 is going to be up sometimes soon, and I'm a good part in chapter 4 already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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