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If I Were...


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... I'd make it to the very end just to lose to some buxom blonde bimbo that shakes her boobs in front of the camera a lot.

If I were a truck stop...

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.... people would download me, play me once, and then forget about it.

If I were an old 78 RPM vinyl record...

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... I'd probably be a useless God, like the god of slide rules.

If I were the latest model laptop...

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I'd be on the farm and get sheared every so often for my hair.

If I were a grandfather clock...

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