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Iron Hymen!


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Guest Agaib
Posted
When a boy's disgusting private goes inside of a girl's shameful unmentionable, there is a serious risk of it breaking off and causing excruciating pain while it travels throughout your body like a giant trichinosis worm.

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Posted
4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.

spit.gif I KNEW those little buggers where up to something!

Having adoption-hungry homosexuals circle my pregnant belly like vultures, hell-bent on corrupting my unwanted bastard child with their sicko "love."

GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

God designed a boy's privates as part sword, part battering-ram, to joyously stab and hammer you with on the magical night you begin your life-long tethering to the man who'll liberate you from the drudgery of ever having to make your own decisions – except when to have a headache or give an "I don't like this" bite.
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Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi
Posted

How about when I was getting knocked up!? crying.gif

<<19

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Posted

*sighs* My friend had this song that he wrote back when he had a band...Hilarious song called "Jesus Christ is Not Gay".

I have it stuck in my head now.

Ah well.

"Baptized by Christ...?" Ew...talk about one hell of a facial.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

OMFG - I honestly think that this is the answer to my prayers! I've been looking for something to make sure my little girls don't EVER let someone touch them ... am I the only one that smells the burning sarchasm? Any hoo... gotta love those Texans and our warped sense of morality...

Nothing gets icky premarital sex off the brain better than an impromptu game of touch football with your Sex is for Fags brothers. Sinful thoughts dissipate like magic while you writhe under a pile of your buddies' taut high school bodies, bulging zippers grazing firm buttocks, touching, tackling, and wrestling. Then afterwards, you can all take a long, hot, group shower and talk about baseball!

Now I know the REAL reason behind high school athletics.

The stuff that comes out of boys every time they use you has as many calories as seven whole pints of Häagen-Dazs. That's why all the girls who do "it" always get so fat and ugly and have that ulcerated skin that screams to everyone in church, "I am an insatiable slut!

And here I thought the real reason I gained weight was because I couldn't resist the gummy bears... Damn men and their calorie ridden Love juice... w00t.gif

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