DemonsAngel Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 Ok, even though this happened 2 years ago it STILL pisses me off. I had just finished the first chapter to what I was HOPING would be my first completed fan fiction. This was when I used ff.net before I found AFF. It clearly stated no flames. I was very proud of it and hoping to get constructive criticism. This is what I got instead. "I will not flame, for that is below me and is a most unkind gesture. However, I will offer some tips. Firstly, uh, your character is sort of like Carrie, the much abused and psychic girl from the Stephen King book, except without the awesome parts. She's just a crazy telepath I have less than no sympathy for or connection to. Secondly, her name needs more consonants. Raea is not a name. Rhea, yes, Raea, no. Thirdly, invest in a spell-check or do a proof read or two. Your h's, oddly enough, have a way of going away. The mistakes you made in the field of spelling are gaping. Even your temporary title is spelled wrong. Beginning. Not Beggining. Common mistake, aye, but ack! Lastly, silver hair? Bollocks, I say! Grandmothers have silver hair, unless it all falls out first, not 26 year olds. Also, if she reduced someone to gory ooze like Dr. Manhattan did to Rorschach in Watchmen, I don't think it would just be ignored. I mean, hello! She made a man explode! Gordon would pitch a fit upon discovering a woman able to splatter a man with just her mind, not wave his hand at the whole incident. Keep writing this, and try to find a spell-check and a little better characterization. And please don't make her have weird sex with the Scarecrow. That'll really shatter me. And scare me." FIRST off, I have never read Carrie nor had I even HEARD of Carrie at the time. SECOND, Raea IS a name. If I had the paper I would tell you what it freaking MEANS and what language! THIRD, the Raea I use is short for Astraea who was a greek goddess. Third, I did use spell check. It just was crap. And Fourth, its a story! People go around dressed up as giant bats and clowns! So why the hell cant my character have silver hair! -.- That is all. Feel free to comment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayDee Posted April 22, 2011 Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 It, uh, it reads like constructive criticism to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DemonsAngel Posted April 22, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2011 It, uh, it reads like constructive criticism to me. Lol I must admit I find some of it constructive, I just found others offensive. Like the "its like carrie without the awesome parts" is that really necessary? Honestly, I think the thing that torked me most was the hair comment. Its Gotham, people run around in costumes, have horrible disfigurements and for all intensive purposes, escape when they shouldn't be able too and do impossible things, is silver hair so odd? *giggles* Thanks for commenting though JayDee! Made me smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest neris Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 I agree with JayDee, can't see why you would be so mad about it, especially after two years. It is a bit harsh, but truth is better than 'I liked it, update soon'. If you are asking for reviews, there is a possibility that not all of them will be nice or next time, just state: 'Only people who liked my story may review'. As to Carrie, the book was published in 1970's, movie adaptation few years later. There were many works 'inspired' by that story. So I think that it is reasonable to assume that anyone who is older than 15 would know at least parts of that story. If I were you and someone wrote 'its like carrie without the awesome parts', I would read that book, see the movie or at least google it. If you don't know Stephen King's book, how can you know if your reviewer isn't right about this? As to silver hair, Raea and all that - I would have to read the story to judge who is right. Even in the craziest universes there are some rules and some introductions or explanations should be made, especially if it was a fanfic we are talking about and not an original story. There is no justification for bad spelling, but understandable that everybody makes some mistakes. If people are pointing them out, you should make corrections and not put blame on your spell-checker. Still, based on your post, I would have to agree with your reviewer: "Its Gotham", "for all intensive purposes", "be able too". And besides, I'm sure that your reviewer didn't mean to offend you. He just had strong feelings about your story and he cared enough to try to make your fic Iin his opinion) better, which you should be proud of. Not every author can provoke such feelings. bookworm51485 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookworm51485 Posted September 12, 2011 Report Share Posted September 12, 2011 It, uh, it reads like constructive criticism to me. Me too. Just not sugar-coated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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