I Am The King


CreepingDeath
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Today I received a message in which a moderator advised me to post the replies to my reviews on the forum, so here I am.

Strangely enough, I was about to write next time I posted a chapter about how I planned to delete the reviews and leave the chapters only and if anyone wanted to save them then that person was welcome to do so.

I also noticed someone else doing this ( starting a thread on the forum ), but after I had a problem with my account a few months back I couldn't log in anymore so that's why I had no choice but to write the replies in my story. So today, after seeing that message, I was decided to get off my lazy ass and fix the problem with the forum account. Luckily I managed to, it wasn't easy though. :\

I will update this post as I write new replies but for now here are the old ones ( I will keep some of the A/N too ):

Chapter 1

@NovaAlexandria: Thank you for the nice words and also thank you again for pointing out my mistake. I have no idea why I kept writing 5th instead of 6th. Bleach is one of my top 3 favorite animes. I watched it many times, so it's impossible not to know that Grimmjow is the 6th. I was very tired yesterday, so that could be it.

Chapter 2

@NovaAlexandria: Thanks. And yes, you are right, it was rushed, I wrote both in the middle of the night actually. I read them after I finished but I saw nothing wrong. I'm never trusting my eyes and brain in the middle of the night again. Anyway, I went back and hopefully fixed everything, even some sentences that sounded wrong. I hope this chapter will make it up for me torturing my readers with spelling mistakes.

I didn't write it during the night, but on the course of a few days, a bit each day. It was very difficult to write, like nothing I was writing sounded believable or convincing. I'm still not sure about it, but oh well, nothing else comes to mind. I just hope the chapter won't be too disappointing.

Chapter 3

I finished the chapter last night ( not in the middle of the night though =P ), but I decided to wait until I was really awake, mostly because I wanted to say a few things to the people that wrote the reviews.

For starters, it took me like 3 days to gather the courage to even read them ( seriously ) because I've always had zero confidence in my writing skills. I guess in a way I'm trying to say that your reviews really mean a lot to me because they help me improve, especially since I finally managed to check your stories and see who are the people that wrote them. It was a pleasant surprise to see that I read the stories of two out of the three people that wrote something ( I'm very bad with names so of course I never remember any ).

@toujourseveille: Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it and after checking what you wrote I remembered once again that I'm looking forward to the third chapter of your story. I remember I wanted to say yes, you can ignore Aizen and the rest of the plot and simply find some random explanation, like Aizen got killed by the combined forces of the Shinigami, etc, but I never really dared to even write a review since well, like I said above, me thinking that I'm not good at writing also made me think something along the lines of "What do I know to even write a review?".

@NovaAlexandria: I remember reading some of your stories last winter ( I think it was winter since I remember I was freezing most of the time ), my absolute favorite being the second part of the Hueco Mundo kids story. It's one of my all time favorite fanfics on this site. I'll never forget the irony of Ichigo's daughter Bankai and Grimmjow's son Ressurection. I never got to read the third part though, but it's on my 'to read' list. It's nice to have someone who wrote one of my favorite fanfics on this site say nice words about my fic. Thank you!

@Namira: Awww, thank you! I took your advice and I hope I got it right. If I messed up again with the comma just let me know smile.gif. And I'll do my best to not disappoint you when it comes to Ishida.

Chapter 4

@toujourseveille: Thanks very much. I understand where you're coming from because I must say the same thought crossed my mind as well while reading some fanfics. Anyway, if you have that much written it means you're not that far away from posting it. I can't wait. ^

@NovaAlexandria: You hit the nail there, like fearing for my life, yup, that's how I felt, I still do, somewhat. >_>

Damn those errors, I guess I have to find that English grammar book I bought a few years ago and seriously study it. In times like these I wish English was my first language.

And stop giving me ideas xD! Ishida returning the favor, that... didn't even cross my mind, and it sounds interesting. When I think of a story, before I even start writing it, I already have everything planned, even the ending. I never start something and just write the scenes as they come to mind. Although sometimes, like two days ago, I get some new ideas and then I have to modify the story a bit to put those in as well. Or people give me ideas... *points an accusing finger at her*

Chapter 5

@toujourseveille: Aww thanks. English is the language I know the best besides my own. While I can think in English and write a story directly in this language I cannot do the same in another besides my own. I'm finding it difficult to write the story with each chapter because it's very easy to slip and write out of character behavior. That and I have so many ideas begging to make their way into my story. I suggest you post that chapter before it ends up as big as a book.

@Namira: Thank you! smile.gif

@NovaAlexandria: To be honest English is a weird language in my opinion. Ahh Grimmjow, one of my favorite characters in Bleach. Sometimes I feel sorry for making him the villain... I mean more than he already was in the manga.

Chapter 6

@NovaAlexandria: Szayel was an interesting guy, to be honest I thought he didn't deserve such a horrible death. I still feel sorry for him when I remember what Mayuri did to him :. About Ishida and Renji, I must say I thought about it and a lot of other possibilities but in the end the coffee one seemed the best option because I couldn't really see Ishida managing to sneak up on Renji. That and I wanted revenge for what Renji did to Ishida when they first met. Consider it my personal revenge. ^

A/N: I wrote this chapter two days after I wrote the previous one but by the time I was done with it I was slightly disturbed by what I wrote. I think it's because I never knew I could write something so violent and sick in only a few hours. It was too easy. For a few days I really hated myself a bit, as strange as that may sound. The human mind truly is something terrible, as even I who feels sorry when killing a bug can imagine and write such a horrible scene. For many days I considered scrapping the chapter and writing something else, or change the story to not make you read something like this, but then I thought... how is this any different than a game for example? ( Except for taking the violence to a whole new level but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. ) I don't go beating up people in real life but I absolutely love doing so in a video game. Same with books, movies, animes, etc. I love action, violence, fighting, some drama too, tragic stories, and I also love fluffy and cute things too, it depends on my mood I guess.

So in the end I decided to submit this chapter. The warnings are there in the story's description which means if you are reading this you're probably doing so because this is what you feel like reading at this moment. I only hope I haven't scarred any of you too much, and also that I didn't make you hate me... too much.

*sigh* Sorry for the rant, but I'm very new at writing fics so of course I get... emotional...

I'll try to make the next chapter better, and then the next one even better, and so on. I won't blame you if you've had enough of me and my writing though, I guess I sort of deserve it.

*smacks herself * Ah yes, really done with the rant now, sorry!

Chapter 7

@toujourseveille: If the chapter made you sad then I managed to successfully write something sad ( which is what I had in mind the whole time while writing it ). Since you said you still wish to know what happens next I pushed myself today to write another chapter. I wish I could say I hope you'll enjoy it but this isn't a very happy story so you'll probably hate it. But then again, isn't that the point?

About the other thing you said, thank you, you put my mind at ease. And you're right, writing about something without expressing the feelings of those involved would indeed be more disturbing

@frenchdiamond_1: Thank you! I'm fine with violence as long as I know it's not real. Show me a video of a violent fight which is fictional and I'll gladly watch it, show me a real violent fight and I'll probably end up crying. I'm strange like that. :

I'm glad you like the story, I hope you'll enjoy it from now on as much as you have until now. I often wonder why I'm writing this when Ichigo is my all time favorite character. What has possessed me to torture him so much? And the answer is... I don't really know. I also love Grimmjow a lot as well. Speaking of him, it always appeared to me that Grimmjow was obsessed with Ichigo. I mean sure it wasn't a sexual obsession, but it was an obsession nonetheless. Each time he saw Ichigo he wanted to beat the hell out of him. Being stopped so often from doing what he wanted was probably very frustrating for him. I guess I'm taking his obsession to extremes like you said, and writing what would happen if he really obsessed over Ichigo that way. If you think about it, although in their last fight he wanted to fight him fairly, before it he always beat the shit out of Ichigo not caring how fair on unfair the fight was. xD

The way I am trying to portray Grimmjow in my story is that of a very instinctual being who enjoy destruction and wants nothing more than to possess everything and everyone so he could destroy to his heart's content, which is why he hates Aizen so much, for possessing more power than him and as such making him feel inferior and somewhat frustrated.

Chapter 8

@gollumsfriend: I'm honored you like my fic so much to read all 8 chapters in one sitting xD. I know I'm evil, I've been told so before, but... aren't we all a little evil ^^? I'll try to update as often as I can, although I have a lot of stuff to do until the end of the year so I don't know if I'll still be able to write one every 3 days or so like I did with the last 2 chapters. But I'll still write, since people seem to like it and I don't want to disappoint them.

And since I don't want to make Smeagol sad, here's another one. I wrote it yesterday but the Internet connection didn't work so I can only post it today. I hope you'll like it.

@toujourseveille: See? Stop telling me how much you liked it cause I keep writing too often and soon I'll end up writing every day. Readers are evil, making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. XD

Those are some really good questions there, I guess I'll figure out the details while I go along, so far I'm only thinking of the general idea of the story and even if I often think of what to write in the next chapter and end up deciding most things before even writing it, in the end I still come up with the details as I write. But yeah, in general it sounds impossible to not go a bit crazy in such a situation, so I'll make sure to raise up a bit Ichigo's level of insanity.

Anyway, thank you for your nice review, as always, I hope you'll also like the next chapter.

Chapter 9

@toujourseveille: Hehe, I'm glad, that's what I wanted, to totally surprise my readers. xD

Concern in the same way one cares about an experiment... I guess o.O. One of the things I noticed in many fics is how most guys end up gay or rapists and it somehow takes away from the feeling of 'realism', if you know what I mean. So no, I don't think I'll turn Aizen into one. It never even cross my mind.

If I become addicted to writing that'd be bad cause I won't have time to improve my drawing skills.

Isshin will find out but I need to write more about some other characters first though. You're free to guess who's gonna tell Isshin. >.>

Chapter 10

@toujourseveille: Indeed, I have to make sure there will still be a bit left of Ichigo's sanity. And yeah, you're close ( it's one of the 3 you mentioned ), but I'm not gonna tell you which one. I think you'll find out in the next chapter though. I don't want to spoil it for you.

Funny you say that cause each time I post a chapter I'm afraid people will tell me the chars appear OOC. IC is difficult to achieve, very difficult.

I imagine Rukia's first reaction to be more alone the lines of: "Ishida, kisama!"

I haven't really thought about it yet, but I have to soon, I guess. >_>

Yes please, write, I am out of fics to read. xD

Chapter 11

@toujourseveille: Now that you mention it I remember someone saying some time ago that 'kisama' means 'you'.

*loves foreign language whores, hugs her*

Ok so I understand the Japanese part, but the question is how to write the Japanese 'you' in English. For example, you can't just say: "Grimmjow, you!", it just sounds weird, so instead "Grimmjow you bastard" in my opinion works better. It's really annoying really, I wish we all knew Japanese so could directly write everything in that language without having to worry about translations.

Speaking of writing, will beating you with a stick help you update faster? :P

@Deminos: Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Unfortunately I was too busy until recently and even when I had some free time I lacked inspiration. Now that I am done with this chapter, which was hell to write, I will be able to work a lot faster on the others, at least that's what I hope, so the updates will be more often.

Chapter 12

@toujourseveille: You know Japanese that well? Now I'm jealous.

*beats her repeatedly with a stick* Now go write woman, before I send uhhh... my chiwuaua after you! ^^

( I don't actually have one, lol X_x )

Ah yes, Kon, I always found him to be a very interesting character. If you haven't already noticed then I'll tell you something. The more I find a character interesting the more I will focus on describing that certain character's emotions. I guess I'm not really being objective with the characters, but I can't really help it. >.>

The part with Isshin just ended up like that because I was already sick of trying to explain the other character's reactions and because we don't really know much about him from the manga. I hope we'll find out something soon so I can write more about him.

Speaking of forgetting... I forgot Ichigo's zanpakutou in the park! ( Seriously )

@NovaAlexandria: I'm glad you liked them xD. I was starting to be paranoid and think that my chapters were somewhat bad and that you gave up on me and my fic. I'm glad I was wrong. Thank you!

A/N:

*sigh*

Ok, so I'm a n00b, with 00, not even a newb. I had no idea my profile prevented Anonymous Reviews until now. I fixed that, so now anyone is free to leave a review, you don't have to have an AFF account to do that.

Don't worry though, I won't be asking for reviews, I know that posting them on this site is a pain in the ass. Don't get me wrong though, I really appreciate the opinions of the 6-7 people who bothered to review until now. Thank you very much, your reviews have helped me a lot.

Chapter 13

@Loverofanime2121: Thank you! And don't worry, I haven't forgotten. That part I mentioned in Chapter 13 about Ichigo not remembering when Grimmjow broke his arm is because I plan on introducing his Hollow soon enough. He can't remember because Grimmmjow broke it while his Hollow was in control of his body, even if it was just for a few seconds.

@toujourseveille: Hmm I guess I'm torturing Ichigo a bit too much, I think I'll probably cut him some slack soon, he deserves it. As ashamed as I am to admit I actually had to google a lot of the terms you used. I remember studying some Psychology when I was still in high-school but it feels like it was so long ago... I hardly remember anything, and besides, it was just general stuff. I guess I'm writing on instinct here, I tend to do that a lot, and not only when it comes to writing. >_>

@NovaAlexandria: What I liked about Crossbreeding The Future(?) and the sequel, sorry I can't remember the exact names right now and I'm too lazy to check, was that both had dark and at the same time light moments. So don't worry, no matter how dark it gets I'm sure I'll still love it.

Heh, It's just impossible to not make fun of either Grimmjow or Ulquiorra when it's clear they don't like each other. Hidden desires... hmmm... stop giving me ideas! XD

Chapter 14

@Loverofanime2121: I'm gonna be honest with you and say that those were the most confusing pages I have read in the entire Bleach Manga. ( WARNING - Bleach Manga SPOILER ahead: ) I truly wish Ichigo was wrong because I simply can't imagine Aizen wanting to lose, I just can't. I'm still desperately hoping that getting caught was also a part of his plan ( END Spoiler ). I don't want to give the story away but I'll say one thing... I love Ulquiorra so I will write more about him. As for your other suggestion, it's possible if it's not in the he's mine cause I love him sort of way. I often felt a fic losing that sense of reality when many characters end up loving a character that in no way would love in the actual manga, or having a bunch of totally straight guys ending up in love with other guys. Don't get me wrong though, I don't mind that, but I'm trying to make this fic more real if you know what I mean. I know, I'm weird. >.<

@toujourseveille: Not necessarily, it's mostly cause it's time. I did write the part with Karakura just for you this time though ( I was planning to write it next chapter but since you're curious xD ). I'd give Gin a roundhouse kick, I think that would be satisfying enough. Starting tomorrow I'll learn the hiragana writing first, then I will be able to read what you wrote. ^^

@Hitsuzen: Thank you! Happy New year to you as well ^^. Your review made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Knowing that at least one person is reading this like I have often found myself reading other fics is just... an awesome feeling. I have a few endings in mind, unlike when I started this fic when I only had one, some of them you might like, some you might hate, so I guess that in the end I will make my decision more towards the end of the fic after I see where the chapters are leading me. Most of the times when I read other fics I'm a shipper too, but now when I'm writing one myself I'm afraid every little thing I do will lead to lots and lots of OOC. Actually I have a feeling I have already done that to a few characters and it scares me to think that it will make people lose interest in the fic. I wish I knew what all my readers want so I could come closer to an ending that most would like. xD

Chapter 15

@NovaAlexandria: I'm glad you liked that because I was thinking of writing a bit more about Kon, Isshin and Rukia and the awkward moments they'll find themselves in while being in each other's presence.

@Hitsuzen: I find that interesting as well. Moar emotionally retarded Grimmy? Right inside this chapter ( have fun ^^ ). I always thought it was amusing how Yammy had a pet, and I'm glad you liked that part because there will be at least one more scene where I'll mention the Hollow puppy. A confrontation between Grimmjow and Ulquiorra seems inevitable, at least that's how I see it biggrin.gif. It's interesting you say that just as I was starting to wonder if people might find all these little things and scenes with other characters as being boring. Now that I look back, the fics I mostly enjoyed were those with a plot and which focused on the interaction between characters, especially their feelings. Just like you I do enjoy some PWP sometimes, but a PWP isn't what I had in mind when I started this. If anything I'd say this is the fic I'd like to read, not the one I wish to write. I hope that makes sense to you.

@toujourseveille: Aww, don't worry, you don't have to review so often, I'm just happy to know that you're even bothering to read it. You are definitely one of the people who helped me gain confidence when I started writing so I will forever be thankful for the encouragement and the nice words. ^^

I was planning to mention Shinji for a while now but my biggest problem is Nel. When I started this fic I was decided to pretend she doesn't even exist but the more I write the more I am tempted to squeeze her in at some point or another. I'm not sure what to do really...

Since Ichi's Hollow is starting to show up he will have to meet up with Shinji at some point, I can't wait to read your next chapter!

Chapter 16

@IchigoKulric: Thank you. It's reviews like yours that keep me going, even when I get depressed and end up having a very low opinion of my writing skills. I hope you will like the next chapters as much as you liked the first 16.

@Person-who's-review-misteriously-disappeared-and-who's-name-I-can't-remember: No, that was not my intention. It did cross my mind before I started the fic, to have Ishida and Ichigo end up together, but I figured it wasn't the best idea since I don't wanna turn the characters into something they are not, at least not more than I already have. I'm quite new to this whole writing fics thing so I am not sure how much I can focus on the Vizards because the more characters I add to the story the harder it is for me to capture their emotions the way I wish to capture them. I'll do my best though.

Chapter 17

@toujourseveille: Ah yes, an update, somehow lately I haven't really been in the mood to write. I know almost exactly how I want the story to unfold and I have in mind most of the key events but I still find it hard to actually write the chapters. I wish I was better at writing, but oh well, we can't be good at everything.

The idea with the ruins came to me before the tragedy that happened in Japan. I couldn't believe when I heard, I still can't. I couldn't even stop the tears from falling when I saw a video of what happened. Too... sad, so many lives lost and ruined...

You probably have at least one new chapter I assume, I'm going to go find it and read it. =D

@Neriel: If anything some of Ichigo's words will slowly start getting to Grimmjow, unlike before when he didn't seem to care/hear anything he had to say. Sorry for the long wait, enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 18

@toujourseveille: Good guess there with Hachi, since I was planning to have him heal them both. It took me a while to finally get the drive to go and search around the internet to make sure that Hachi could in fact heal them but I had to write this chapter sooner or later. From what I understood, Hachi couldn't properly heal Ichigo's wrist when Grimmjow ran the sword through it because of the reiatsu infused within the wound but Kon and Orihime sustained normal injuries and as such he should be able to easily heal them. But yeah, damn those thugs. They were needed though for the little set-up I have in mind. I'm still not sure about the Vizards, I have no certain plans regarding them, but I figured that it's best to write what crosses my mind even if it's something that happens later on in the fic. That's how I ended up writing a much future chapter a few days ago. Some chapters I find really hard to write, hence why it took me so long to write this one.

@Namira: Indeed, Grimmjow needs to be a bit less abusive if ichigo is to survive long enough to escape or be rescued. Grimmjow really needs a distraction. >.>

@Mulle: Thank you for the review, it was the soft push I needed to write Chapter 19. It made me happy knowing that someone still reads this considering I haven't updated in 2-3 months. Sometimes I start getting these thoughts that no one reads it or that no one cares if I update or not but then I read a review like yours and it's just the thing that makes me push myself and write a new chapter. To answer your question, no, he doesn't have Ichigo under an illusion and I'm not sure he'll ever have him, but it is an interesting idea worth pursuing. I'll give it some thought. About the gate, I figured that in the manga, if Urahara started working on it when Grimmjow attacked or when Ulquiorra appeared and then managed to open it just after Orihime was taken, and after Ichigo trained with the Vizards for a month then that's how long it would take to open it. The truth is that I was planning to get one of those Arrancars that stole the Hogyoku get capture and be forced to open the portal but i later found out those episodes were fillers and so it's out of the question now. Good thing I started reading the manga around the Hueco Mundo Arc, this way I won't get confused whether it was in the manga or not. But no, I don't plan to have poor Ichi wait one month, Urahara will give his best to make sure that won't happen. Aaaaand, you'll probably see in chapter 20 or 21 how Grimmjow will manage to take his hands off Ichigo. *grins*

Chapter 19

@Mulle: It's more about the fact that I'm lazy like that, and not very good at writing to begin with, at least that's how I've always seen it. I think this is more of me challenging myself to write something. But then I start wondering if what I'm doing is any good, and sometimes I get all 'emo' thinking it isn't. But I'll keep trying even if sometimes I feel like giving up. I'll never give up until I see this fic finished. Anyway, this chapter and the next is about Hueco Mundo. Originally I wanted to write it all in one chapter but I think it would've been too long so I'll just post this one for now and work on the other as soon as I can, hopefully it'll be done in a few days. I think I'll write something about Isshin after these two chapters, and about Uryuu too since I haven't mentioned him in a while. Anyway, I hope you'll continue to enjoy this story from now on as much as you have until the last... 19 chapters I think. I should probably pick up the pace with the story since it feels kind of slow, or maybe that's the way I'm seeing it because I don't write that often.

@gollumsfriend: I'm glad to see you haven't given up on this fic yet. And sorry about that, I'll try my best to update at least a chapter each week, I just need to set my mind on doing that. Anyway, new chapter up, I hope you'll like it once you pick up the story again. And believe me, I perfectly understand, that's what I do with ongoing animes and mangas sometimes, I wait for a bunch of episodes or chapters to gather so I can watch/read without crying how one episode/chapter wasn't enough and that I want much more.

Chapter 21

@toujourseveille: Awww, that's what happens when you write reviews when you're tired. Anyway, I'm glad you liked that part, I know that no matter how selfless people are, even if they do not wish to think something because it is horrible, they still do, and then they regret it.

@gollumsfriend: I'm glad you like her! Ichi really needs someone who wouldn't ignore/beat him and that someone has to be her, since I always found her to be extremely cute and funny.

@Mulle: But think about it this way... each time you miss an update you have two chapters to read *chuckles*. But yes, I could never see Starrk as a bad guy and because of that I have always hated how he ended up having to fight even though he didn't want to. I can certainly see him as a knight in shining armor if he could just bring himself to give more than a damn, you know? But no, I don't plan to have him paired with Ichi that way, in case you were wondering.

Chapter 22

@Yummerset: For starters, I would like to thank you for taking the time to review this, because the only way I can learn from my mistakes is for them to be pointed out to me. When I wrote that part I wasn't sure what to do but then I wanted Uryuu to make a big mistake, one that will later on lead to some animosity between him and Ichigo. The thing with fics like this is that the situation is so unusual that I can't even be sure if anything I write sounds believable, so I often just stop questioning and write. And if this is the only big mistake you have noticed so far, than I am happy, because when I started this I was scared I couldn't even get past the first chapter. I'm good with numbers, not letters, I lack imagination and writing is not easy for me, but I wanted to push myself and see what I can do if I tried, so that's how this fic was born. I might still make many mistakes along the way, but I hope none will be big enough to make you stop from reading it, and if that will happen, then I am sorry to have failed you.

As far as who are the people who know so far, let me see: Kenpachi, Renji, Unohana, Rukia, Urahara, Kon, Hitsugaya, Matsumoto, Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Isshin, as for the Hueco Mundo side, Aizen, Gin, Szayel, Nnoitra and Aaroniero. I mean those who know for a fact, the rest of the Espada just don't care or they only suspect.

Uryuu made a mistake in hiding Ichigo there, or at least that's what he believes so when he saw what his mistake led to he panicked. As for Renji insisting he told the others at that meeting, it was because he didn't believe Ichigo would be sane enough for them to just quietly tell him to follow them if any of them found him first. He thought they should know what to expect, so they could handle the situation properly. But I might have been wrong. Either way, it's too late now, unless I go back and rewrite the chapters but then it will confuse the readers and I don't want that. It's hard to write something and have no one to read or question it before I post it on the site, so all I have is the readers there, me always hoping they would let me know what they think.

Chapter 23

@gollumsfriend: Ouch, that was embarrassing. I posted the chapter just before I went to sleep and in my sleepy state I must've forgotten to reread it. But I believe I fixed it now. Either way, I learned my lesson, I think, and from now on I won't post a chapter before going to sleep just because I'm always too tired to see what I did wrong. I'm glad you liked it though, even though it had some horrible spelling errors and weird sentences. >.>

@Yummerset: Trust me when I say I only changed it because I agree with you. And you really did help me with your review so I will forever be grateful you wrote it. And yes it's weird you can read this but not weird in a bad way, it's more like I'm impressed you have the strength to read it. I'm not sure I could do the same if I were you. I often feel sick just from writing some of the things I write but in the end I keep going, my only reason being that ever since I started reading fanfics I often found many that seemed way too fake and it bothered me how some of them treated this subject so lightly. So this isn't exactly the story I want to write, but more like one of the stories I would've wanted to read. And you pointing out how that part wasn't right was just the thing I needed. It's a similar situation to that of a writer who sometimes can't see his own typos, and someone else has to point them out for him to see. Feel free to criticize again anytime. :)

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If you wish to discuss as well then be my guest.

Edited by CreepingDeath
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