Shadow Knight's Literary Snark Thread

[Shadowknight12]

Vampire lore goes back thousands of years. It was Bram Stoker's Dracula that started the more recent obsession with vamps. People thought he was just so handsome, and voila! The good guy vamps are dreamed up by horny women. None of it is new, though powers/skills/history may be added. I was serious about the vamps that were rumored to run around naked. I did a bunch of research. Most vampire stuff has to do with killing unborn babies and stuff like that. I don't think I saw anything new on Buffy at all. Mostly, vamps were succubus and incubus that women used to excuse unexplained pregnancies. The whole, 'the devil made me do it' thing.

Why yes, I'm fully aware of all that! I was just saying that the exact combo of powers and weaknesses (save a tweak here and there) was done immediately before by similar-minded authors. If you look deeply into vampire lore, the exact powers and weaknesses of the creature vary wildly from tale to tale, and this extends to literature. There's a world of difference between Bram Stoker's Dracula and Hamilton's vampires. Hell, even some of the vampire lit of the 60s or the 70s is very different, and that's actually pretty close, chronologically, to Hamilton et al.

[Guest Snowfall]

Why yes, I'm fully aware of all that! I was just saying that the exact combo of powers and weaknesses (save a tweak here and there) was done immediately before by similar-minded authors. If you look deeply into vampire lore, the exact powers and weaknesses of the creature vary wildly from tale to tale, and this extends to literature. There's a world of difference between Bram Stoker's Dracula and Hamilton's vampires. Hell, even some of the vampire lit of the 60s or the 70s is very different, and that's actually pretty close, chronologically, to Hamilton et al.

I don't read most of the modern stuff, just about the ancient myths. They're so weird. I can't handle Anne Rice's style, though 'Interview with a Vampire' was readable. I have very little reading history from modern vampire lore, and Buffy reminded me too much of that airhead on Scooby Doo. I couldn't stand to watch it that much. I'm too far removed from high school and all the teenage angst in Buffy made me want to puke, too. Although, I did like Spike. LOL I've read a couple of random vampire books that my daughter has and was thoroughly unimpressed. I don't do well with romance style books. I about died experimenting with writing a fan fic that was a romance. People loved it and I wanted to gag. LOL

[Shadowknight12]

I don't read most of the modern stuff, just about the ancient myths. They're so weird. I can't handle Anne Rice's style, though 'Interview with a Vampire' was readable. I have very little reading history from modern vampire lore, and Buffy reminded me too much of that airhead on Scooby Doo. I couldn't stand to watch it that much. I'm too far removed from high school and all the teenage angst in Buffy made me want to puke, too. Although, I did like Spike. LOL I've read a couple of random vampire books that my daughter has and was thoroughly unimpressed. I don't do well with romance style books. I about died experimenting with writing a fan fic that was a romance. People loved it and I wanted to gag. LOL

I am a huge fan of myths and lore, but I try not to dismiss anything modern. What I aim for is originality, so it's actually in my best interest to read as much as possible and ignore where exactly in the timeline it comes from.

We have had... similar experiences. However, I intend to get better. If only because it's hard and challenging.

[Guest Snowfall]

I am a huge fan of myths and lore, but I try not to dismiss anything modern. What I aim for is originality, so it's actually in my best interest to read as much as possible and ignore where exactly in the timeline it comes from.

We have had... similar experiences. However, I intend to get better. If only because it's hard and challenging.

I went about ten years without reading and about six with very little tv because of seizures and complications that worsened them. Fan fiction got me to make the effort to read and write again. Also, I only became interested in vampire/preternatural stuff recently. It sucks to regain, lose, regain, and lose...memory, vocabulary and grammar skills over and over again. I'm constantly relearning, and forgetting. Right now, my own species is in development.

[Shadowknight12]

I went about ten years without reading and about six with very little tv because of seizures and complications that worsened them. Fan fiction got me to make the effort to read and write again. Also, I only became interested in vampire/preternatural stuff recently. It sucks to regain, lose, regain, and lose...memory, vocabulary and grammar skills over and over again. I'm constantly relearning, and forgetting. Right now, my own species is in development.

Ouch! That must be seriously horrible, especially as a reader and writer. I'm awfully sorry.

[Guest Snowfall]

Ouch! That must be seriously horrible, especially as a reader and writer. I'm awfully sorry.

I just tell you that because it is why my knowledge is so spotty. For the first two years, words jiggled on a page so bad that I couldn't even look at print. Once I was able to read, I was so disappointed with what was in the bookstores that I just gave up until my daughter started hounding me to read her books.

[Shadowknight12]

I just tell you that because it is why my knowledge is so spotty. For the first two years, words jiggled on a page so bad that I couldn't even look at print. Once I was able to read, I was so disappointed with what was in the bookstores that I just gave up until my daughter started hounding me to read her books.

Hah, well, sometimes it's good to have someone around who prods you to try new things! You never know if you might find something useful or even inspiring.

[Guest Snowfall]

Hah, well, sometimes it's good to have someone around who prods you to try new things! You never know if you might find something useful or even inspiring.

Yep, and don't feel sorry for me because if it wasn't for illness keeping my butt parked at home, I wouldn't have found fan fiction and started writing again. Everything has its upside.

[Shadowknight12]

Yep, and don't feel sorry for me because if it wasn't for illness keeping my butt parked at home, I wouldn't have found fan fiction and started writing again. Everything has its upside.

Oh, yeah, that's definitely true! I'm sure that even the worst thing that can possibly happen to someone has an upside hidden somewhere. And hey, look at this thread. All of the world's failtastic suckiness has given me this: SNARK.

[Guest Snowfall]

Oh, yeah, that's definitely true! I'm sure that even the worst thing that can possibly happen to someone has an upside hidden somewhere. And hey, look at this thread. All of the world's failtastic suckiness has given me this: SNARK.

Yep, your snark is funny. I do think though, that it might be better to read a book all the way through before you do a snarky review because then you'll have all the info. You'll have learned some of the secrets, and can do even nastier snarking. Whoever it was that said to read the one with the Earthmover was correct. It's pretty decent. Bloody Bones is brutal. I don't remember that much about which books have more stupid stuff, but I loved the brutality in Bloody Bones. Oh! I forgot to mention, if you read far enough into the series, Anita even does a were while he's furry. LOL

[Shadowknight12]

Yep, your snark is funny. I do think though, that it might be better to read a book all the way through before you do a snarky review because then you'll have all the info. You'll have learned some of the secrets, and can do even nastier snarking. Whoever it was that said to read the one with the Earthmover was correct. It's pretty decent. Bloody Bones is brutal. I don't remember that much about which books have more stupid stuff, but I loved the brutality in Bloody Bones. Oh! I forgot to mention, if you read far enough into the series, Anita even does a were while he's furry. LOL

Well, that might be an idea. Though I find it funny when snark reviewers write as they go, because often you lose a lot of the original reactions if you wait until they're finished. A great deal of humour comes from first reactions.

Hah, wouldn't surprise me.

[Guest Snowfall]

Well, that might be an idea. Though I find it funny when snark reviewers write as they go, because often you lose a lot of the original reactions if you wait until they're finished. A great deal of humour comes from first reactions.

Hah, wouldn't surprise me.

I can understand that, and I can remember having some of the same reactions, but I tend to put my irritation aside until I finish a book so that I can see whether or not it redeems itself. Most of hers don't, but there had been just enough cool shit to keep me interested. The AB books got so bad that I believe there have been four or five to come out since the last one I read. I'm done with it. She got interested in her other series and completely lost interest in the AB series so that it got so bad it made my eyes bleed and made me want to spit. Anything that was left to screw up, she screwed up.

[Shadowknight12]

I can understand that, and I can remember having some of the same reactions, but I tend to put my irritation aside until I finish a book so that I can see whether or not it redeems itself. Most of hers don't, but there had been just enough cool shit to keep me interested. The AB books got so bad that I believe there have been four or five to come out since the last one I read. I'm done with it. She got interested in her other series and completely lost interest in the AB series so that it got so bad it made my eyes bleed and made me want to spit. Anything that was left to screw up, she screwed up.

Yeah, I did the same with Twilight. I suspended my judgement until the third book, thinking that perhaps she was just a very slow, very passive writer. Since I tend to ignore romance in stories (a bad habit I'm trying to quit, since it backfired horribly with this series), I wasted my time reading three doorstoppers until I finally had the good sense to quit. If I had picked up on the purpose of the story, I wouldn't have even read the first one.

And yeah, so I'm told. I'm probably not going to read more than two of her books.

[Guest Snowfall]

Yeah, I did the same with Twilight. I suspended my judgement until the third book, thinking that perhaps she was just a very slow, very passive writer. Since I tend to ignore romance in stories (a bad habit I'm trying to quit, since it backfired horribly with this series), I wasted my time reading three doorstoppers until I finally had the good sense to quit. If I had picked up on the purpose of the story, I wouldn't have even read the first one.

And yeah, so I'm told. I'm probably not going to read more than two of her books.

Gasp! There's actually a purpose to the Twilight books?

[Shadowknight12]

Gasp! There's actually a purpose to the Twilight books?

If it wasn't for the huge sales, I'd say no. But it must have one. Perhaps it makes for a passable fantasy for people who don't know better?

[Guest Snowfall]

If it wasn't for the huge sales, I'd say no. But it must have one. Perhaps it makes for a passable fantasy for people who don't know better?

Well, I know that the publisher aims toward young teens, which could explain how it got published--low expectations?

[Shadowknight12]

Well, I know that the publisher aims toward young teens, which could explain how it got published--low expectations?

Most likely. Hey, I actually am not complaining (that much). It's getting teenagers to read. Hopefully a percentage will go on to read more than that.

[Guest Snowfall]

Most likely. Hey, I actually am not complaining (that much). It's getting teenagers to read. Hopefully a percentage will go on to read more than that.

I can understand teenage girls liking it, but I can't understand how women who are older, and much more educated than I am, are thoroughly in love and obsessed with it. It baffles me.

[Shadowknight12]

I can understand teenage girls liking it, but I can't understand how women who are older, and much more educated than I am, are thoroughly in love and obsessed with it. It baffles me.

Mental age =/= Physical age. There are a lot of grown women out there with the mentality of a teenager. You can't understand it because you've outgrown them, fortunately.

[Guest Snowfall]

Mental age =/= Physical age. There are a lot of grown women out there with the mentality of a teenager. You can't understand it because you've outgrown them, fortunately.

Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment. Now, I need to get ready to take my car to its appointment at the shop.

[Anesor]

A friend of mine who knew I liked some vampire stories insisted I get and read these stories when they first came out. A cynical part says she was a bookseller, but that was silly and I never failed to get as many as I could afford then.

But I do know I dropped the series after about book four despite urgings for years. Then I didn't really read anything critically, and Sue was concept I mostly applied to Trek novels. With all that I was beyond disappointed in these books, but leaning towards angry. Leads can screw up or have flaws, but I really didn't give a damn about her. I was rooting for the other characters to kill her, even if I like leads winning.More than anything else I dimly perceived was wrong, I didn't like her or care if she won or survived the plot. Apathy in the reader is a killer flaw. And the sexy scenes were not kinky consenting adults but creepy. Anita is a nasty nympho without a scrap of morals in search of a plot. If I want sex and flat characters, there's always Harlequin, they at least have basic editing, empty sex is the porn shop downtown.

I'm enjoying your summaries... I'd managed to bleach most details out since then. Though JC was one of the more interesting characters, not interesting enough ti keep more of my money. Her Mary Gentry is more of the same and makes me wonder if her research consistes of watching porn films from the 70's...

[Shadowknight12]

Hah, yeah, you're spot on. The apathy, specially. And the jab at her research! Gack, that's just so true. I can't be bothered to FINISH this book, with all the other things I have to do. Eh, maybe in the next few months when there's a lull in my writing or something.

[Anesor]

Hah, yeah, you're spot on. The apathy, specially. And the jab at her research! Gack, that's just so true. I can't be bothered to FINISH this book, with all the other things I have to do. Eh, maybe in the next few months when there's a lull in my writing or something.

Pick something new then, there's plenty of bad published stuff out there. I ran across two especially obnoxious ones that had the added annoyance of extra cost to read them. Maybe you should limit these reviews to a dozen chapters at the beginning, selected bad ones, and a few at the ending, to help preserve you sanity. Chapter by chapter is above and beyond the call of duty...