Advice

[Shunskitten]

I'm writing my 100th fanfic, and I want the theme to be torture, how would I do that sexually? I don't want it to be abuse tho. Can someone help? Please and thanks.

[Shadowknight12]

I assume you mean consensual torture? Because non-consensual torture is, by definition, abuse.

Now, if consent is a yes, then it's actually pretty easy. You need to figure out what kind of torture you want to be portrayed in your fic. You can have physical or emotional torture. Physical torture is pretty straightforward, but it does have things to be mindful of. Psychological torture is subtler and arguably harder to convey effectively in writing. It's the sort of thing you can't fully appreciate unless you know the tortured character and have some way to identify yourself with him/her.

I'll cover the easy stuff first, which is physical torture. This one is what most people know as "kinky stuff." You know, nipple/clit clamps, bondage, blood-letting, sounding, spanking, S&M, etc. The important thing to mind here is never to go overboard with pain. It could be said that finding just the right amount of pain to enhance pleasure is a form of art. The process itself is fairly easy. The "victim" must be as relaxed as possible (unless you're combining it with psychological torture, which comes below). This is important because tension tends to increase perceived pain, and it can be hard to gauge the right amount. Bondage is not strictly necessary in this stage (that's actually more of a psychological thing). Another aspect to consider is that pain should come after the person is aroused, and preferably after it's been teased for a while. This is advisable because arousal helps the brain handle pain, and it allows the person to mingle it with pleasure. After that, then it really depends on what your characters get off on. Males might like getting their balls slapped or their erections sounded, females might like nipple/clit clamps, and everybody can get off on spanking, hair-pulling, all-around rough sex or even anal play. Blood-letting is best left for fantasy stories, since IRL it tends to raise all sorts of strange questions, and can actually end up in infections if not properly treated. The "torture" should start slow (unless the couple is used to it), and then slowly work its way up in intensity, ideally accompanying a similar increase in pleasure. Another piece of advice is to get on the internet and look up this sort of thing, see what you like. Just don't run blindly, because there's some pretty hardcore stuff out there that might not be suitable for everybody.

So, to sum up: Relaxation, Arousal, Introduction of Kink(s), Micromanaging Pain and Pleasure.

Now comes psychological stuff. This, as I mentioned before, is best left for when the readers have become familiar with the characters, otherwise they'll probably just miss the point (for example, they might fail to understand why a character gets off on being tied and gagged if they don't know that the character is an uptight CEO who just NEEDS to stop being in control all the time). The entire purpose of psychological torture is to generate the same pain that physical torture elicits, only on the mind. The simplest form of this concept is what we know as teasing. Offering someone pleasure but denying it to them at the last moment (or denying them completion) generates frustration, which is a sort of psychological pain. This builds up within the subject, generating a stronger and stronger drive to reach what's being kept away from him/her. This, ironically, greatly enhances the sensation of triumph once said completion has been reached. This basic principle is where the rest of the psychological stuff builds upon. Now, the point here is to get to know your characters. Figure out their strengths, and above all, their weaknesses. Find out what they want and can't have. The combination of weaknesses and hidden desires is what makes psychological torture effective. In the CEO example above, his weakness is an inability to delegate and relinquish control, while his hidden desire is to be able to do just that. Being tied and bound and at the complete mercy of someone else is an enormously scary experience. However, once the sexual act is completed and the CEO realizes that he's still fine (and that he actually enjoyed not being in charge for once), it enhances the pleasure he receives. Next time, he'll be looking forward to it, and will actually start enjoying himself while he's at it.

There's a ton of different ways to torture someone psychologically. What works for one person might not work for the next, which is why the characters must come up with these things on their own. Analyze the characters, then use logic and intuition to figure out what would simultaneously give them both pleasure and pain. For example, if one character is shy and quiet, he might be asked to take on a commanding role in the bedroom ("I'm going to tie myself to the bed and I want you to FUCK me"). This ought to fill him with anxiety and nervousness, but the entire point is that the bedroom is the place to act out on fantasies and hidden desires. Another example could be someone afraid of the dark being asked to wear a blindfold in bed, or someone who relies heavily on a sense (again, it could be sight, but it could just as easily be hearing or any of the others) being deprived of it. Then there's bondage for people who are afraid of relinquishing control, or submissive positions for those who put on a strong and proud façade and are scared of being seen as weak. The list goes on and on. A good formula is to take away something the other person relies on, to force someone to face their fears (like using fake spider-webs all over the bed when fucking an arachnophobic), to deny them what they want (teasing), to put them in the opposite role of the one they normally play in daily life (make a sub out of a leader), or sometimes to simply figure out what turns them on but are too afraid to admit it to themselves, and giving them just that.

Hope this helped!

[Shunskitten]

I assume you mean consensual torture? Because non-consensual torture is, by definition, abuse.

Now, if consent is a yes, then it's actually pretty easy. You need to figure out what kind of torture you want to be portrayed in your fic. You can have physical or emotional torture. Physical torture is pretty straightforward, but it does have things to be mindful of. Psychological torture is subtler and arguably harder to convey effectively in writing. It's the sort of thing you can't fully appreciate unless you know the tortured character and have some way to identify yourself with him/her.

I'll cover the easy stuff first, which is physical torture. This one is what most people know as "kinky stuff." You know, nipple/clit clamps, bondage, blood-letting, sounding, spanking, S&M, etc. The important thing to mind here is never to go overboard with pain. It could be said that finding just the right amount of pain to enhance pleasure is a form of art. The process itself is fairly easy. The "victim" must be as relaxed as possible (unless you're combining it with psychological torture, which comes below). This is important because tension tends to increase perceived pain, and it can be hard to gauge the right amount. Bondage is not strictly necessary in this stage (that's actually more of a psychological thing). Another aspect to consider is that pain should come after the person is aroused, and preferably after it's been teased for a while. This is advisable because arousal helps the brain handle pain, and it allows the person to mingle it with pleasure. After that, then it really depends on what your characters get off on. Males might like getting their balls slapped or their erections sounded, females might like nipple/clit clamps, and everybody can get off on spanking, hair-pulling, all-around rough sex or even anal play. Blood-letting is best left for fantasy stories, since IRL it tends to raise all sorts of strange questions, and can actually end up in infections if not properly treated. The "torture" should start slow (unless the couple is used to it), and then slowly work its way up in intensity, ideally accompanying a similar increase in pleasure. Another piece of advice is to get on the internet and look up this sort of thing, see what you like. Just don't run blindly, because there's some pretty hardcore stuff out there that might not be suitable for everybody.

So, to sum up: Relaxation, Arousal, Introduction of Kink(s), Micromanaging Pain and Pleasure.

Now comes psychological stuff. This, as I mentioned before, is best left for when the readers have become familiar with the characters, otherwise they'll probably just miss the point (for example, they might fail to understand why a character gets off on being tied and gagged if they don't know that the character is an uptight CEO who just NEEDS to stop being in control all the time). The entire purpose of psychological torture is to generate the same pain that physical torture elicits, only on the mind. The simplest form of this concept is what we know as teasing. Offering someone pleasure but denying it to them at the last moment (or denying them completion) generates frustration, which is a sort of psychological pain. This builds up within the subject, generating a stronger and stronger drive to reach what's being kept away from him/her. This, ironically, greatly enhances the sensation of triumph once said completion has been reached. This basic principle is where the rest of the psychological stuff builds upon. Now, the point here is to get to know your characters. Figure out their strengths, and above all, their weaknesses. Find out what they want and can't have. The combination of weaknesses and hidden desires is what makes psychological torture effective. In the CEO example above, his weakness is an inability to delegate and relinquish control, while his hidden desire is to be able to do just that. Being tied and bound and at the complete mercy of someone else is an enormously scary experience. However, once the sexual act is completed and the CEO realizes that he's still fine (and that he actually enjoyed not being in charge for once), it enhances the pleasure he receives. Next time, he'll be looking forward to it, and will actually start enjoying himself while he's at it.

There's a ton of different ways to torture someone psychologically. What works for one person might not work for the next, which is why the characters must come up with these things on their own. Analyze the characters, then use logic and intuition to figure out what would simultaneously give them both pleasure and pain. For example, if one character is shy and quiet, he might be asked to take on a commanding role in the bedroom ("I'm going to tie myself to the bed and I want you to FUCK me"). This ought to fill him with anxiety and nervousness, but the entire point is that the bedroom is the place to act out on fantasies and hidden desires. Another example could be someone afraid of the dark being asked to wear a blindfold in bed, or someone who relies heavily on a sense (again, it could be sight, but it could just as easily be hearing or any of the others) being deprived of it. Then there's bondage for people who are afraid of relinquishing control, or submissive positions for those who put on a strong and proud façade and are scared of being seen as weak. The list goes on and on. A good formula is to take away something the other person relies on, to force someone to face their fears (like using fake spider-webs all over the bed when fucking an arachnophobic), to deny them what they want (teasing), to put them in the opposite role of the one they normally play in daily life (make a sub out of a leader), or sometimes to simply figure out what turns them on but are too afraid to admit it to themselves, and giving them just that.

Hope this helped!

thanks, yeah, that actually did help, once i read the nipple clamps part, thank you!