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Posted (edited)

Empathic Seduction

Review reply to Chyara:

"Would you be willing to continue this? It was a wonderful read.
I want to see how each tries to get the upper hand. What they missed in the book."

I'm glad to hear you liked my story so much. Right now I'm focusing on my WIPs, so I'm not continuing on this one. However, I'm not ruling it out for the future since I do have some ideas for it. However, they need to be more fleshed out before I decide to write on. RIght now, it's too meager to build a story on.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

xx Nerys

Review reply to Ms. Cuddles:

"You are brilliant. Not just in writing but in creating worlds that draw your reader in and have them feel the emotional build up. Spectacular work. I just wish you still work on the Apprentice. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing works. True Art."

WOW. *blushes* Thank you for the amazing compliments.

As for THe Apprentice, I know it's been a really, really long time, but I've not given up on the story. Right now, I'm using nanowrimo to finish The Prisoner (and I probably won't reach 50,000 with that, so the rest will go to another WIP, be that Apprentice or MOM2).

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

xx Nerys

Edited by Nerys Dax
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Posted

The Apprentice

Review reply to Amsden:

"Ohhhh, I love this pairing *squeels in delight*
You are an amazing writer I was so compleatly sucked into your story after reading the first paragraph."

Tom/Volmione is my favourite pairing, too. Actually, it's the only ship I write for. XDDDD

I'm really happy that you like my writing and thank you for the compliments,

xx Nerys

  • 1 month later...
Posted (edited)

Bittersweet review reply to severly disappointed:

I will start off with the good stuff. You have a writing style which is completely enthralling, and I love reading your stories, as you are definitely a massively talented writer.

Thank you for the nice compliments. I'm glad you enjoyed my writing style and my stories.

However... my main problem (and I seem to have this problem with a lot of stories people write) is when the heroine of the story is suppose to be sooooo intelligent... in Hermione's case the brightest witch of her age, and yet they behave so stupidly you want to reach through the computer screen to slap the heck out of them for being to stupid to live. In this case Hermione is by canon and the way you have written her is suppose to be brilliant, and yet she refuses to show it. I realize that you don't want to show her as being weak, but her repeated defiance in mouthing off and throwing attitude at a man who can not only cause her mass amounts of pain but also can stop her ability to breath because he can control her body, just seems like something the character would be smart enough not to do.. and yet you repeatedly have her doing just that. Now I am not saying she should willingly give into him at every turn but there are ways for her to defy him that would not be so blatant, and with her intelligence being what it is, I don't see why she would do something so stupid and almost suicidal, even if she does think that death would be better... which obviously she doesn't or she would have figured out a way to kill herself by now.

Hmm...that sounds like a reasonable critique. To be frank, it's been ages since I wrote this and I haven't reread it, so right now if there had been a reason why I wrote her reactions like that, I don't recall it.

My other problem is that your sex scenes in this story are weak... and I know you are capable of so much better because I have read much better from you. In this chapter alone, it was hard to tell when they even actually started to have sex, and then suddenly he was ejaculating inside of her, implying that they were in fact having sex... now mind you I am not expecting explicit details since the rating on this story wasn't that high, but when I have to go back and reread the very short paragraph several times to figure out when they started actually having sex... well, you can see where one might get frustrated enough to not even bother continuing the story. Please be a little more clear in you details from now on, after all this isn't fanfiction.net so it isn't like you have to be so vague.

Actually, this story is one of the first fanfic stories I wrote. I started writing it on FFnet, not aware of AFFnet existence until I had already reached chapter 20-something. So, the story is actually FFnet approved for the most part of the story, which is one reason for the lacking details and vagueness at times. Another reason is that Bittersweet is the first fic that I started writing some explicit scenes for, so I was rather hesistant (I felt uncertain while writing) and was trying to find my bearing with something that requires loads of descriptions when I'm more comfortable writing dialogue. Unfortunately, most readers here will ask for sex scenes, but when you've written them, you get little to no feedback on them, so that makes it hard to figure out what was liked and what not. It becomes a bit of trial and error learning curve, where you learn by simply writing more of it.

I'm sorry that things were unclear with regards to the sex scenes. Thanks for pointing that out to me. The one thing I don't like when reading smut is when I get confused about body positions, because the writer has them doing something that contradicts their previous position, since it takes me out of the story. So, I'm sad that happened to you while reading my story. I'm at least glad you felt my smut writing skills have improved since Bittersweet.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

xx Nerys

Edited by Nerys Dax
  • 5 months later...
Posted

The forbidden ship, review reply to Anon:

"I could see chapter 9 being a longer story."

Thanks. I think there are a number of drabbles that could be elaborated upon, "Hogwarts" definitely being one of them, but I already have three WIPs, so I won't be expanding on my workload. Too much pressure. ^^

xoxox Nerys

Experiment of the Mind, review reply to Casper Reddrick:

"Wow, that was incredible! i loved every bit of it although at first i didnt really understand where it was going but as i read on everything was put together perfectly."

Thank you. I'm glad it became clear in the end. I deliberately wrote it so the pieces would all fit together later on, as one read along. I'm also happy you enjoyed reading my story and thank you for reading and reviewing,

xoxox Nerys

Posted

The Bittersweet Taste of Victory, review reply to Silver_Screen_Icon:

" *Drools*

I apologise the Dark Lord would probably crucio me for drooling over him but how can I not when you depict him so well!!??

What an AMAZING story! you are alway able to get all my feels worked up and make me doubt my moral compass.. (damn thing just won't point straight anymore)

Always love your work, its been a while since I've read fanfics and i wanted to come back with a bam and hell you did it! So amazing!

Was quite the addiction! The second last chapter nearly broke me but the end game made me squeal in pure delight! I love how you are always able to maintain Voldemort's true (delicious) persona while still making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.. (clearly, i must have some serious metal issue i need to work on but that a story for another day)

Thank you for a great story!

Always a fangirl!

Silver Screen Icon
xx"

Thanks. I'm really pleased that you're enjoying how I portray Lord Voldemort in this. It was quite a ride with him in this one; I had fun writing him. He's such a deliciously amoral and hypocritical character.

Moral compass, what moral compass? ;) *slinks off, muttering:* "There is no good or evil. There is only power and those too weak to use it." xD

Aww...I almost got killed by Ssserpensssotia over the second to last chapter. So, you're definitely not alone there. What can I say, I take my cues from LV. ^^

Oh, I had plenty of warm and fuzzy feelings while writing Bittersweet, so you're also not alone in the mental issues department. You can join me in my padded cell.

Thanks for reading and reviewing (both here and on FFnet),

xoxox Nerys

  • 7 months later...
Posted

Apprentice review reply to anon:

"Dumbledore could care less. "<br />

UGH. Idiotic.<br />

It is "I could NOT care less" when you do NOT care at all.<br />

Do you say "I could agree more" when you can't agree any more?

Darling, breathe. Think of your blood pressure. I wouldn't want to be responsible for you having a heart attack.

I would've thanked you for pointing out an error I could fix IF you'd actually pointed out where the error was made. I trust you don't expect me to go through an over 200,000 word fic to locate it. If you do, well, tough luck. I couldn't be bothered.

Have a nice day,

xoxox Nerys

Posted

Apprentice review reply:

Oh, dear. I knew it wasn't finished when I started reading it but I still got that awful feeling when there was no link to a new chapter. I'm not sure if you're even still writing for HP. Still wanted to drop a line to let you know that I really enjoyed this story so far and I would love to know what happens next. Your Voldemort is actually pretty sexy, especially when he's doing magic (not just the sex magic either!) so I totally agree with Hermione about that. Hermione is still very in-character even though she's obviously tempted by Voldie and the dark arts. Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get inspired again. Cheers!

Hi,

I'm sorry for the long hiatus. I know it's bad. I'm still writing HP, just haven't been for this story. I'm trying to finish my other WIP, The Prisoner, first (because it's closer to the end than this one), and then, I plan to get back to The Apprentice. I'm really happy to hear you've enjoyed the story so much and like sexy Voldemort. ^^ I'm also pleased you find Hermione IC. I hope to keep that up.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

xoxox Nerys

P.S. Sorry for the late, late replies. *hides*

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Apprentice

Body of review from Mkey follows:

You make a constant mistake:
"for awhile" = "for for a while"
Please edit those to " for a while"

Nope. Don't think I will, not for any while.

If this were a just posted chapter, I wouldn't mind editing an error that was pointed out, but I'm not going through a multi-chaptered fic, looking everywhere for one type of error when there are plenty more to correct. I do have a day job.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

xoxox Nerys

Sleeping Beauty

Body of review from Lea follows:

Wauw, I love this!! Great story idea. Will there be an update?! Soon?! I know, it's greedy of me, but what can I say, I'm imagining all the delicious torture one could inflict on Lord Voldemort in his sleep...

Hi,

Thanks for liking the story, and well, what can I say? The completed sign in the tags says it all. I'm really not planning a continuation, no matter how many delicious tortures one could inflict on Tommy dearest. It's tempting, but I've got too many WIPs already. I'm not adding to my work load.

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

xoxox Nerys

Bittersweet

Body of review from Ann follows:

I love love love this story!!!!!!! Just came back to reread it again I really wish you'd make it a PDF! It's soooo good!

Thank you so very, very much for loving this story. I plan to upload it on AO3 once it's fully edited. I think you can download stories there (not sure which format though). Thanks again for reading and reviewing,

xoxox Nerys

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