It May Be Okay, But Is It Right?

[Guest Melody Fate]

I'm doing this as a topic, because I don't want to single any one person out and I've seen this several times. The discussion rolls around to underage users on the site and invariably one person, if not many, go, "I was on this site before I turned eighteen. Yes, I know, I shouldn't have been, but I did it anyway. And it's okay now, because I'm eighteen."

I understand where you're coming from, and I also understand the urge to come clean. However, it does show that it is possible to get onto this site and stay on this site. It shows that not only is it being done, but it's been done and people have gotten away with it. It proves that all you have to do is "get by" then not only will it be okay, but your past will alll be forgiven.

That might be true, however, what if someone's parent came checking out this site? "Okay, they kick underage readers off... if they can find them. And wow, a lot of their regulars cheerfully admit they broke the rules. Would this site do anything to try to catch my teenage child unless she screamed somewhere, "I'M A MINOR?" Do they really want to keep children off this site, or do they just want to keep people from admitting they're children while on this site?

Also, from the point of view of a kid who might be sneaking around, it looks like the truth is, We say it's wrong, but quite a few of us did it. *nudge nudge wink wink* It's not a crime unless you get caught. And if you don't get caught, you can even boast about it later.

Yes, I understand that AFF wants to protect itself, so they want to keep underage people from this site because it's the law. However, isn't there something to be said for also wanting to keep underage people from this site because it's the right thing to do?

Yes, we all know there are sixteen year old kids that are more mature than some 21 year old adults. But we also know there are fifteen year old kids that get on here that have the emotional maturity of a ten year old. Even if they managed to keep it together enough to not give away their age, do we really want them on the site? Do we really feel a lot of this material is appropriate for children to be reading?

Honestly, I don't really want minors reading my story. Yes, it's about a fifteen year old kid, which probably attracts minors, but it made me cringe when I saw an anon 15 year old kid admit she loved my story. I'm not writing it for her, I'm writing it for adults. While compared to some, my story is tame (at least in the sex acts themselves) the language is about as filthy as it can get and I've got a teenage girl being badly used by someone. My story doesn't have the type of message I want a teenager to read. Even if the law said, "As long as you can read, we don't care," I still would say I didn't want kids reading my story.

Maybe I'm overstepping my bounds here, but I see an awful lot of admitting going on and I have to say, that sometimes it comes off like all AFF cares about is the legal issue, not the moral one. And while that might be true, if AFF ever does get called on this, I think it might be better if it also looked like we try to stop minors because we're a community of people who don't just want to avoid trouble, but because we're a community of people who care enough to know that some underage people cannot handle this type of material and should not be reading it.

Again, if I'm out of line here, Mods, feel free to erase this. And yes, I do understand that a lot of folks who are here legally now, might not have started out that way. I'm not saying those who did that should be punished, but I'm just...I guess trying to appeal to your common sense. Is it really good for the rep of AFF to admit you broke the rules, even if you're not breaking them now?

[Guest Alien Pirate Pixagi]

Honestly, I agree with you. While my work is rather tame, I know I definitly would NOT like finding out my little sister's friends were on this site. (Especially not with the little Consoer Snuff I'm working on... oish.) My sister (who's 13) I wouldn't have a problem so much with (you know, other then for legal reasons) but I know my sister. I know what she can and can't handle. However, her friends are a differant story. They can't take a lot of things my sister can so no, I wouldn't feel right letting them on here.

And this whole little "I was on here when I was 13, but am over 18 now!" thing kinda bugs me. It's not so much that it happened, but that so many people are admitting it happened. And while it doesn't seem like bragging to me, it does look like a risky thing to say.

It sucks when you have to watch what you say on an adult forum, but until we can better protect ourselves from law suits, it does appear to be a neccessary evil.

[NightScribe]

Mel, I agree with you. I have noticed the people saying they were here when they were underage, but they never posted, they waited, etc. Okay, but I think they should keep that to themselves because, as you said, if other minors are reading that, it may appear to them that they can skate. What I mean is, they may think "AFF says one thing but does another, so why not?"

And I understand what you're saying about your story. Just because your character is 15, does not mean it is intended to be read by 15 yr olds. I can't say whether my stuff is tame or not, at times I think it is and others maybe not. But thinking about it now, there are themes that are definitely not appropriate for a child/teenager to read. A teacher having sex with a student, an adulterous affair with a married person, a character who has had a lot of partners; those are all themes that I believe an adult will understand are being used for fictional plot purposes only. Someone who is 14 or whatever may not be able to fully realize that those things are used for character or plot development. I'm in the planning stages of another story with a controversial theme and I absolutely do not want anyone reading it who can't handle it.

I'm with you, let common sense prevail.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Okay, maybe bragging wasn't the appropriate way to put it. It actually comes off more like a confession. And, while confession is good for the soul, we know there are underagers coming here looking for an excuse to justify breaking the rules. Look at Pixagi's post that spoke against underage users. Just because she did mention that emotionally, some kids could handle it, then went on to say that didn't matter because the law said otherwise, a bunch of teens immedietly misunderstood it to mean, "Pixagi wants underage users to be here, HOORAY!"

Confession is good for the soul, but sometimes keeping something to yourself is a form of atoinment in itself. Analogy time here... when I was younger, I had a boyfriend who cheated on me once. I never knew about it, never suspected. It was a one time thing. About three or four months after it happened, he just "couldn't take it" anymore, and confessed.

Yes, he felt better. Now I felt hurt and betrayed and broke it off with him. Not for the cheating, but for feeling that he had the right to dump it on me to relieve his own guilt. I wasn't going to find out he cheated. The girl he cheated with didn't live in this country, it would be next to impossible. I was perfectly happy in my ignorance, he wasn't leaving me for her. From my POV, he was only telling me so he could feel better about it, not because he really cared about my feelings. If he really felt guilty about what he did, not only would he not have done it again, but he wouldn't have confessed. He would have delt with the guilt for the rest of his life.

While AFF is not a girlfriend who's been cheated on, some of the same principle applies. You cheated the system. You didn't get caught. How do you "pay for your sin?" You do what you can to make sure other kids don't do what you did. One way to do that? Don't admit you did it and got away with it. All that shows is that yes, it is possible

It's sorta like when someone comes out and says, "Wow, underage kids get away with being here? How?" or, "Wow, you caught those underage people? How did you do that?"

And we tell them. Hell, I'm guilty of that one. I've pointed out ways they get caught. That's great if we're all sure we're adults, but a clever kid would be listening and using what we're saying as an example of how not to get caught.