Geh

[foeofthelance]

Geh. After a year of writing this story, I hate it. Absolutely positively fucking hate it. I might not have even finished writing it. For all I know I posted this rant as the final chapter, leaving my readers in perpetual limbo, each thinking a separate ending for the story itself. What can I say? Like all jokes, this one sucked because it went on too long. And that’s what it was after all, nothing but a joke. I’d originally been writing a Star Wars/Mechwarrior crossover during a week long vacation. My brother caught me writing it, and asked me to write what would later result in the Cheerleaders. At first it was simple. What if the three hottest girls from our local high school ended up with the three geekiest guys? What followed was the first few chapters, ending in the foursome between Ashley, Jim, Jen, and George. It wasn’t meant to go past that, but by then I had had several people asking for more, so I gave in. Somewhere along the line I got it into my head to give them a pet, and Kentai was born. Despite the one letter difference from the term for Japanese porn, he was actually based, if somewhat loosely, on the characters from the Disney film Brother Bear. I had been sitting in my doctor’s office reading a picture book of all things, being really that bored, and that’s where the inspiration came from.

So where did all the characters come from? Well, I’d like to say they are all top of the line imaginary creatures. But in the end, that’s hardly true. Everyone in the story is based loosely of either myself, or off of people I know. Heck, Jason, Eileen, and Mitch are actually real people, though their names have been changed to protect the guilty. George, Jon, and Jim are based off different aspects of my own personality, while Phil is the form of my darker half took. Which is in the end, what seems to have doomed the characters as characters. Being only pieces of myself, they were never given the chance to be whole people. The heroes were never given flaws, while the bad guys had nothing to redeem themselves. The greatest example of this is the fight at the aquarium. In that fight, Jim is no better then Phil is, insisting things be done his way, and using violence to achieve it. Just because Jim is one of the main characters though, it comes off as being heroic and righteous, instead of simply overly aggressive and violent as I’d intended. The girls are even worse, because they are really nothing more then a variety of wet dreams. Out of all of them, the only two characters who come with any sense of realism are Rebecca and Max, but by the time I’d introduced them as characters it was too late to redeem the story.

Sigh, ok. I’m going back to the story now, to try and see if I can possibly finish it in time for midnight.

Ok, so I’m back. I’ve gotten some more of the end finished, though not enough to count really. At leas the whole Mitch/Andy thing will be resolved. Probably shouldn’t have turned on V for Vendetta. Oh well. Of all the things to be resolved it’s the simplest one of course. Dannie will get told off by Jon and Stef, while losing her little group of cronies at the same time. Yay for Angela getting an eleventh hour back bone! I’ve decided not to add anything for Jim, Ashley and Phil, as anything they do always seems to lead into something else. Oh well. They can just continue to harass each other. Oh and for anyone keeping score, Jon and Steph will end up naming their son Joshua, and lead a happily married life. Jim and Ashley will break up next year, while Jen and George split up after a few months at college, only to reunirte later at their tenth anniversary high school reunion. May acually turn that into a story later, though probably not. Ugh, forgive spelling here, Im not even going to try and edit this rant. For the story, again!

Damn but I wish it would end. Seriously, after seventy some odd chapters and three hundred or four hundred pages of this, I want out. I can’t help but wonder if this is how professional writers feel when they get close to finishing the end of a book. If trying to get the last few pages together to finish the plot causes this many head aches for them, or if its just me. And don’t get me started on plots. Word for all the aspiring writers on the site: DON’T LET PORN AND PLOT MIX. JUST DON’T. Seriously. This never would have become such a problem if I hadn’t let ieas start creeping in, and had just left it as sex. And you know what? It’s all that stupid bear’s fault. If I hadn’t put Kentai in, none of this eber would have happenecd. He started it all, by posing the problem of how to get him back to Greenville. Curse you Kentai, CURSE YOU!! So of course naturally he’s also one of the three most popular characters in the entire mess, alongside Max and Rebecca as far as I can tell. Now granted, have I had some good ideas for plots? Yes I have. But some were better off being left to their own stories, while others I justdropped entirely. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking.

As I sit here and write out this nice little rant (and an apology to those still reading it) I can’t help but remember something Jason mentioned to me after reading the whole kidnapping bit, where Daurie and Relevance have their little duel at the mountain top. After reading relevance get killed, he told me, and I quote, “Dude, you just killed all relevance in your story!” And to a certain degree he was right. After that it lost all meaning, just a dragged out story and over glorified sex scenes kept it going at that point. Im glad its done now. All seventy fucking chapters. Jeez, I was an idiot for trying for a chapter a week. Which is even more disturbing, because even though they weren’t posted once a week, I did it. 52 chapters, one for each week. Five chapters to begin. That’s sixty five left. Two for the 200 reviews. 63 unaccounted for. 6 chapters for the number of hits, even the ones left by me. That leaves 57 chapters of smut and plot to wade through, 285 pages of 12 font bullshit.

There. I’ve finished it Everybody who deserved it got the happy ending that they had earned. All that’s left is to finish this little rant. Still reading? Poor you. Anyway, in a way, I’m glad that I wrote it. One year later, I’m a better writer, and have made a few new friends, both on the site and in real life as a result of the story. My girlfriend has actually looked forward to reading the latest chapters which is a good thing. And while having one of my friends yell across a crowded lecture hall right before a final that I’m a pervert, well, what else should I have expected from college. Of course, the mere mention of even wanting to drop keys around my friends is now totally off limits. But fortunately, it doesn’t come up all that often anyway. Will I miss writing this story? Not at all. Of the two stories I had begun, at least one opf them got finished. Poor Trelkoara. Maybe one day I will go back and write out the last two chapters. For now, I will stick to my Mechwarrior/Star Wars crossover, let the haunting Tale of Dreams of Death continue. Both of them will be the reverse, plots with a bit of sex thrown in where appropriate. I have a week to myself coming up soon, so maybe there will be much writing then.

And yes, there will be the finishing orgy that was talked about between me Jason and Mitch. No, we wont be having an orgy, the characters will.

[Guest Melody Fate]

Word for all the aspiring writers on the site: DON’T LET PORN AND PLOT MIX. JUST DON’T. Seriously.

I know what you mean. You start worrying more about plot and then you realize you must do chapters that have no sex. And while most people understand and don't mind, a few other remind you that the story is in Erotica, you really owe it to them to give them a good whackoff scene in ever chapter.

I find myself sympathizing with the whackers, even though I shouldn't. But they have a point. It is in Erotica. If the focus is on something else, it should be found someplace else. Like Romance, or action or anything but erotica.

Not much point to this, except that I thought you'd like to know someone read it and understand your frustration. But, it must really be nice to be looking at the end of such a long project.

[foeofthelance]

Hahaha, nah thats alright. I think it was just the fact that after a while, tere was nothing left to the story, including a way to finish it. By this time I'd already discarded a terrorist plot, the return of Relevance, which even I couldn't explain, and a lesbian scene between two of the characters. Hell, the original ending had the main protagonist's younger brother shooitng the main antagonist, before he and the older brother ran off to the hospital for the birth of their friend's son.

And these were all high school characters? Riiiight....

Geh, but that's the start of another rant entirely. I think my biggest problem was not so much writers block, so much as having no more useful material. But the Greenville universe shall continue, especially since I've now cooked up a way for it to involve the Star Wars galaxy.

[Guest Pink Lace]

It's really hard to have a serious plot yet have the characters jump into bed every 1,000 words without being ridiculous and artificial, that's why I read and write PWPs. Sometimes I have to read through 6 chapters of highly unlikely deus ex machinas and OOCness just to get to the part where two characters have sex.

Sometimes I would rather the characters just start humping!

I mean, is it really that hard to imagine that two people could just get drunk and get in bed because they were horny/sad? Why does it have to be some hugely complicated true love/saving the universe thing all the time?

The worst is when there's 10,000 words of OOC angst when basically it's just an excuse for the writer to be emo. Sorry, I just read a fic where Yuffie from Final Fantasy VII cries every 3rd paragraph because Cid keeps on saying she is a tomboy. Hello, who cries at the drop of a hat??? Some emo kids but not Yuffie.