This is my first fanfic ever - can I get some in-depth reviews please?

[Guest temptresshermione]

Hi guys! I have never written any fanfics before, so I have no idea if I'm doing it right or wrong. I uploaded it here hoping to get some feedback, but in spite of 1825 hits I only got two one-liner comments.

This is the fic - My New Mistress.

[Supersonic Bitch]

Okay, Supersonic Bitch meets review whore.

Reaction: I hate review-whoring. My usual reaction is: if I don't like the story, I don't even read it and absolutely don't review it. However, as I despise attention whores, here is a little review for you:

Edited May 12, 2009 by Supersonic Bitch

[Guest temptresshermione]

Okay, Supersonic Bitch meets review whore.

Reaction: I hate review-whoring. My usual reaction is: if I don't like the story, I don't even read it and absolutely don't review it. However, as I despise attention whores, here is a little review for you:

Isn't "Reviews" board the proper place to ask for reviews? As I said, that's my first fanfic, and I want to get better at writing, so I'd love to get some constructive criticism. Anywhere else I should ask? Thanks.

[Supersonic Bitch]

Isn't "Reviews" board the proper place to ask for reviews? As I said, that's my first fanfic, and I want to get better at writing, so I'd love to get some constructive criticism. Anywhere else I should ask? Thanks.

Yeah, right. Continue your pitiful excuses, review-whore.

I would love to get more constructive criticism too, (actually I think that everyone wants) but at least I am able to not resort in excessive whining about the subject to the point of making an individual topic about your story not getting enough reviews that you'd like to read. I do think you see that there is "Review exchange thread" already.

Edited May 13, 2009 by Supersonic Bitch

[JayDee]

With the subtitle of the reviews board including "just review whore" and the boards in general being quieter than a Trappist with laryngitis, I doubt extra threads on the subject of review whoring will matter to many... Not like there's many around to read them, at that. Kinda a slap fight in a desert here.

...and I don't do constructive criticism myself. I tend to point and laugh, or offer wild biased praise. Sometimes in the same review. I will say there's nothing intrinsically gross about slurping semen from the floor as suggested by temptresshermione's reviewer (or, indeed, seamen - sailors need drinking too).

[Supersonic Bitch]

With the subtitle of the reviews board including "just review whore" and the boards in general being quieter than a Trappist with laryngitis, I doubt extra threads on the subject of review whoring will matter to many... Not like there's many around to read them, at that. Kinda a slap fight in a desert here.

Point taken. I just had nothing to do and my stomach kind of felt like giving some feedback

I will say there's nothing intrinsically gross about slurping semen from the floor as suggested by temptresshermione's reviewer (or, indeed, seamen - sailors need drinking too).

*You. Are. Fucking. Killing. Me.*

[JayDee]

Now, licking up store budget brand chilli ... that'd be gross.

[marley_station]

I note, temptresshermione, that you've published two chapters of one fic, received two 'reviews', and haven't updated your fic since you published it in May. Why did you write it? You claim to want honest-to-goodness feedback on your writing, but it seems to the outsider here (me) that you published it to get reviews and only that, since you haven't bothered to update it.