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Threesomes and Wrenches...A Beta request, HP verse


Guest lucretziathevagabond

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Guest lucretziathevagabond

Hello everyone.

Let me tell you a story...

Once upon a time there was this very ordinary fanfiction writer. To look at her, you would think, "Oh, there is nothing special about her." and go about your business. This would be a big mistake because the ordinary fanfiction writer has a gift, you see:

She has a very naughty mind.

When she found this site, she eagerly submitted her stories, one completed one and two in progress. They were offerings to feed the readers, who have equally naughty minds and appreciate the value of a well described blow job. This site was the answer to the little fanfic writer's prayers. She found that there were others who pondered life's great mysteries, such as: What does Lucius Malfoy really wear under those robes? Or, Is threesome sex like one of those mathematical problems I could never figure out, and is it different if the participants have magical ability? You see, important questions.

But I digress.

In a fit of insanity, the ordinary fanfic writer agreed to join an anonymous fic exchange. Her exchange request asked for a HG/LM/SS threesome, and the fanfic writer went immediately to work and ended up with two possible stories with a beginning and a middle. Then she came to the threesome thing. And panicked.

She requested a beta from perfect imagination, but people were not interested in LM fanfics. As one beta so elegantly told the writer, "The idea is disgusting." She tried another site, with no results. She kept trying because the fic exchange mod says that a beta is required and her threesome sex sounds like instructions for assembling an IKEA coffee table. You know, use the wrench...tab A into slot B, that kind of thing. Remembering the site of equally naughty minded readers, she made a beta request a month ago. Guess how many answers she got to her request.

That's right...zero.

Now the deadline is looming, her two in progress stories haven't been updated because she is obsessing over tabs and slots and where that wrench is going to fit in. Her coffee table is lopsided, and she needs some help.

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Okay everyone, here is the deal.

As I've mentioned, I am in desperate need of an experienced beta who is willing to read and help me with an exhange fic of about three chapters. It will be LM/SS/HG, and adult rated. If you can't help me as a beta, please point me in the right direction for a beta who would be able to help. I am in dire straits here, people. So please lend me a helping hand. While I have no money, and I can't design banners or websites in payment or anything, I will promise to dance my uncoordinated impersonation of a Riverdancer in front of my computer in your honor. Not on camera, of course. But I'll do it.

Thanks for reading.

lucretziathevagabond

Edited by lucretziathevagabond
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  • 1 month later...

Hello there! Seeing as no one ever replied to anybody on here, I decided to have a go at scratching a fellow writer's back. I am, unfortunately, not much of a grammar professor, but I do seem to have a knack for helping with... plot problems... and the sort. I've never beta'd for a stranger and I'm not sure if you'll be happy with the job I'll do, but I'll do my best!

I am an open-minded reader, and you must try very hard in order to gross me out. I enjoy helping with story ideas, and I support the direction that you, as the writer, may choose to go. I'll be honest with what I think, but I will explain how I feel and why I feel that way.

Here's my email if you should choose to contact me:

camtipli@yahoo.com

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