Beta Needed for Original Sci-fi/Fantasy Story, details inside.

[aoisuiren]

I badly need a beta reader for my work-in-progress original story: Beware the Power: Legend of Suyeita.

Here is a summary:

In a world where humans and creatures called Iyagi coexist, a revolution is beginning. After a history of servitude to humans, the powerful Iyagi want to claim there place as the superior species by any means necessary. With change and a new world power being born, can those few who only want peace and equality be able to ease in these changes and possibly save many innocent lives from being lost in a violent war? Or will power blind everyone from what crimes may be committed in the name of righting an injustice?

I like to think that silly grammar and spelling mistakes I catch, I proof it myself at least three times... I am in need of someone who can catch the harder to spot errors, non-grammatical mistakes (like Tom has black hair, Tim has red, and I accidentally say Tim's black hair), things that are unclear unintentionally, and just general constructive criticism.

Things that might turn some off:

-It is Original, 100% of my own creation.

-The story mainly focuses on a young girl, she is 13 to 14 during the story. (Although anything that makes it mature does not directly involve her, aside from violence, it is things other people participate in.)

-It is a work in progress. There are 6 chapters so far written, and I am writing at least a chapter a month.

-It is long, and getting longer. Right now, without intro, author notes, and such, but including glossary and extra information- it is about 50,000 words.

-This story, when finished, is not the end of the tale. The story is part of a series.

-It is mature only. There is nothing explicit, I have a T posting on fictionpress.com, but wanted to have the original somewhere. There is strong language, violence (especially in later chapters), and many suggestive situations and comments. Posting it here is to try to find more appropriate readership for the story.

-Finally, although I tend to hate the term myself, it involves 'anthro' creatures. There are, nothing explicit mind you, some suggestions and admitting of sexual situations between the creatures, Iyagi, and humans. Although, the story mentions it too, Iyagi and humans are close genetically speaking. Later revealed in depth in the story, Iyagi are essentially human aside from physical appearence and 'neilana' abilities.

About the Story: It is really trying to parrallel how, more so in the past, people treated people who looked differentally so badly, although essentially they were both the same. Racism is not nearly as bad as it was... so to grab people's attention I made the Iyagi species. I mean if you go back in history, other races were not really seen or treated like they were human beings. In slave days white people wouldn't dream of treating a slave like a human, they saw them and just saw this huge chasm of difference. So when a human looks at an Iyaga, that is what they see, too.

Another theme I try to touch upon, is how power can corrupt and blind. The world falls into black, white and gray, but sometimes although you may see the world as gray, most others might just see the stark contrasts in life.

So, if you might be interested:

The T version: a general idea of what the story is: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2579533/1/Be...gend_of_Suyeita

The M version, the original version. I am editting for HTML so it is taking longer to post up: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099547

Any questions? Just post them.

It is easy to get into contact with me if you wish to ask privately, email me at aoisuiren @ gmail.com (minus the spaces of course)

Thank you for your time.