mastershakeme
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Posts posted by mastershakeme
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From Antiki on July 16, 2017
I am enjoying this story so much. Just because I get to see both Kai and Torrin change in subtle ways to be more open and honest. And the heat between them...it is just wow. I think I dislike Holly though... she is meddling too much into Kai's love life, and is forcing her oppinion on him like he doesn't know what he wants himself and needs help to think. I'm totally not cool with that. Let the guys breathe and get off their backs lol. And Torrin has such a criminal mindset too. I hope he changes to be better. I have no idea if the things he does actually happen in college campuses in the US, but hell, I am happy I get to loiter in Europe instead <3
Anyways I am going to follow this story, so please keep the updates coming~ Btw did you originally have different names for the characters? There was a stray Connor that showed up somewhere in the chapters. Threw me off quite a bit, it felt almost like i missed something somewhere.
Until later <3
4Yay! Hey thanks
I started posting this story elsewhere and it got the beat down from commenters because people didn’t like where the story was going. Lol! I think AFF is a better home for this plot. I’m not saying Torrin and Kai are healthy together, but they’re definitely interesting and I think they’re hot together too lol. Don’t hold me back people!
Yeah, I don’t think I wrote Holly with the purpose of getting her ‘likes’
Her domineering personality will be something Kai will have to overcome.
And thanks for mentioning the name slip up!!!! Connor’s a character of mine from another story, but I think you know that *wink* I fixed the slip-up in chapter 10. Much appreciated!
Thanks for reading and commenting! I’m glad this story is getting a better reception here on AFF. I will get another update out soonish for ya!
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From reader on July 08, 2017
I read the first version of this story and I liked it. I'm reading this and I'm enjoying this new version too. I can see that your writing has improved a lot and you are putting more details and story line into this. I can't wait for more. Hopefully we get something within this week.
1Thanks, my lovely Reader!!
I only mentioned Learn to Like it, old version of Breaking Bad, because I feel so guilty about it lol. I really screwed up the end, not romantic!! Hopefully, this version will leave my readers more satisfied than the old on
Thanks so much for stopping by!
I’ll get chapters 7 and 8 put up by Wednesday morning! I’ll see you then!
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Bruno Mars – That's What I Like
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From FJ on July 05, 2017
First I just wanna say that your story is off to a good star and it's very hard to find a fic of this quality in this site nowadays. Or maybe I'm just being too picky. Haha
Anyway, I can't wait for the next chapters, can't wait for Torrin to finally make his move. And keep up the good work.
1Thanks FJ! And you're not being too picky
I thought there was a serious lack of good fiction on this awesome site, so I thought I’d help out!
I’m mostly joking of course
Torrin takes his time making a move, so be forewarned! Lots of drama will ensue… It’s a hobby of mine, causing drama rofl!!
I’ll get an update up this weekend!
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4 hours ago, PenStoryTeller said:
Remember, the more others can see of your skeleton, the worse off you are.
1This line rocks!!!
BTW, I tried to check out what you had written and there’s nothing on Aff
You sound so masterful lol. Are you published?
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10 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:
My potter fanfic (the one on more or less permanent hiatus) was over 600kwords before I went and edited it down … it’s now at a more modest 500kwords. Its prequel (complete) is almost 180k. Though, my average is lower because I’ve also got two really short ones (~200 words each).
1Whooo! Those were my favorite Hp fanfics, the super huge long ones
can i ask what pairing??
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46 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:
Given that we’re mostly amateurs on these sites, it’s understandable if stories aren’t finished. Sometimes, the author realizes it won’t work out, or, they lose interest due to a new book getting released (Lots of Harry Potter fics were like that when I started into fanfic), RL death/disease/stress (understandable), or many other reasons. I do want to finish my potter fic, but the draw/lure of my own stories is stronger – and my potter fic’s been stuck on a plot point for ages (how to portray something w/o being considered deus ex). In my originals, the main culprits have been plot bunnies! I’ve got WIPs because I decided to split the original story (it held too many competing plot threads, and was better to tell several separate stories than to try to stuff it all under one title). So, I’ve got Fiends (the most direct lineage from the first story), Alaska Trekkers (backstory, complete), Dolbourne Chronicles (backstory, WIP), Jefferey (backstory to a character appearing in the backstory, WIP), and Dale’s Game (backstory that was sparked by a holiday fic, WIP). And, I’ve got some sequels to fiends planned.
Of course, once a story hits the printing press, it had better be complete!
Even if I haven’t truly written the last sentence, I do like to have a good idea early on what that scene will be like, or the general conditions. I try to worry about start/end to each chapter as I write, so that’s a good way to practice, IMO. Frequently, I’ll stumble across the last sentence as I write, not always what I had in mind, but my typing will reach it and it becomes, “damn, that’s a good one – cut!”
I understand what you're saying… I guess I didn’t take the fanfic aspect of your abandoned work. I’m glad your focusing on your original stuff
Yay!!
I don’t have an ending planned for my story
It just gets longer and longer Like its almost 200,000k at this point with no end in sight. Lol It’s getting ridiculous and I’m using the smiley faces to show how delirious I feel lol. I wish I could restrain myself and find the perfect last sentence long before I get there. That’s why my endings sound so rushed! They are!
I can’t expect anyone to beta for me anymore either with a story length like that… I’m all on my own!!! fuck, fuck, fuck!!! Ships going down guys!!! lol, I'm mostly joking btw
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20 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:
Often, a reader is lucky if there *is* a last sentence, given the number of WIP/abandoned and unfinished stories out there. I’ve got a potter fic that’s still listed as WIP, but haven’t updated it in five years.
Aww, that makes me sad… I just put a story on hiatus and I’m hoping to god I won’t abandon it… I just got busy on another story. That’s why I did it!!!
On 7/2/2017 at 10:19 PM, PenStoryTeller said:That’s a good way to look at it. Just don’t front load. The last sentence of a story is immeasurably more important than the first. It’s a bad thing to turn the reader away at the begining. But, and I can attest to this, the worst thing you can do is end your book in such a way as to make the reader regret the time spent reading.. The first , the reader will think it’s just no their kinda of story and move on to something else. the latter , they get emotionally invested and follow page after page only to be met with a disappointing ending.
Imagine if Tolkien had ended The Hobbbit with the whole adventure being just a dream in a sleeping Bilbo’s mind My own point of view is that you should give the reader an honest picture of what kind of story they’re in for so they can opt out.
This made me ROFL!!!
I really like your take on first and last lines… I’ve had a lot more first lines than last… And either way, I was so exhausted by my story at the end, I really flubbed it IMO. That story is no longer up because I wanted to remedy that…
But if Bilbo had woken up to realize the Hobbit was a dream…? That’s hysterical!!!
I didn’t do anything stupid like that...
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1 hour ago, Desiderius Price said:
Only if you’re writing a how-to-guide with the intention of carrying it out…. imo. I’m on the fence when it’s confessional, because this is one of things you shouldn’t fully act out in the name of “research”, like a bank robbery or something equally sinister.
Yea ok! I sound fucking crazy
No, I'm not writing a rape how-to guide. Fuck me...
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8 hours ago, Tcr said:
No, no... Murder is warping the minds of the innocent to become mass murders... Or do I have that wrong? Maybe I have it wrong...
Honestly, I think there’s been way too much censorship in the history of man… the reason we’re so morbidly curious about topics like rape is because it’s so taboo. I’ve always been interested in taboo stuff, so I’m not really surprised I’m drawn to more darker topics in stories. I’m not saying we should glorify it , and you said that yourself tcr, but idk, i just wouldn’t say rape and i guess murder in stories isn’t simply ‘shock value’, it’s a window into another (and severly twisted) individual’s mind. Rape and murder are part of the human existance. How can it be ‘bad’ to write about it?
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On 6/29/2017 at 11:38 PM, GeorgeGlass said:
Because rape is one of my fetishes, I’ve written several purely pornographic rape stories, and by and large, they attract a lot more readers than most of my consensual-sex stories. (The ultimate reader-magnet seems to be father-daughter rape, given that the stories of mine that have the most dragon prints are titled “Daddy’s Rules” and “Darla’s Dad.”) So I think “shock value” only tells part of the story; some authors write rape scenes because they know that such scenes appeal to a decent chunk of their readership—whether the readers will admit it or not.
But in non-porn stories, I agree with Tcr that rape is not “lazy writing” if it advances the plot or character development in some important way. (The same goes for murder.)
Yeah, I come across a hell of a lot of rape in the stories I read… I guess i have no aversion to it because I have a fetish as well. Whenever I include rape in my stories though, I encounter a mixed bag of reactions each time. Of course, the negative responses stick out more to me, and possibly, the rape fanatics, like myself, don’t even want to leave comments
so i don’t even get to hear their opinion…
But either way, when I read TCR’s original post, I was angry because how can you say that ALL sex scenes are written for shock value. You can’t make a sweeping statement like that!
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Responses!!! Lol
QuoteWhy thank you Gslinger!!! And no way you figured it out! Are you reading my mind?
QuoteFrom Antiki on June 03, 2017
Whew I finally caught up with the new chapters~ Honestly, I didn't even notice that you removed the story at first, I was just trusting I'd see it updated at some point again, then I saw the published date and had this mind f***ed moment xD Gratz on making my mind do a second guess on itself.
But anyways I like reading your story ^^ I like the characters, how things unfold and the pacing and how sweet and mysterious M is. It is really nice that he can pull off being cute and innocent and unsuspecting and in the next moment completely be his alien all-knowing and handsome self. Or how Connor can be this grumpy, angry guy, that almost doesn't know how to deal with what he feels, and at the same time be cool, supportive, caring and reliable for M and in the last chapter for his brother. I like the diversity of the characters. And I'm happy I finally got to read a little more about M's secret. I was dying to know more things about him and his stalker and not just from hints and mysteries.
I'm defo reading more when you get more chapters up~ much love <3
Yay! Thanks Antiki! I’m glad we’re all on the same page, chapter wise now. lol. There’s quite a bit of reading to catch up to, I’m so gosh darned long winded!
I think the characters are all going through a lot of changes as the plot progresses. Since it’s taking me so many months to write, it feels like years have passed in this story, when it’s actually just days
Oh well, I keep thinking I want to wrap the story up soon, but more plot ideas pop up! Grrr! This story is torturing me.
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Hey everyone
I figured it wouldn’t be the worst idea to create a review thread for my current story, Parasitic Love. I’ll probably use this for future stories too, so yay!!!
Thanks in advance for the reviews guys! You’re all awesome
Profile: http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296850419
Parasitic Love: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600108633
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2 hours ago, Desiderius Price said:
World building’s easy…. bbl, need to work on that database tracking mine….
Lol shut up
Ya got any tips for world building? I'll probably keep it as close to normal as possible cuz I'm lazy... But I could be convinced to do it the hard way if it's worth it...
What do you keep track of?
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24 minutes ago, sweetmamajama said:
Anything that requires too much research. Writing is already too much work! And I'm a lazy cunt so yeah…
LOL!!!
So, yeah! I think fantasy is one of the hardest genres to do... We all agreed history wasn't easy, but... The world building and the very fact that I'm in charge of all the crazy rules terrifies me! More than history!
Kudos to you @sweetmamajama
28 minutes ago, SirGeneralSir said:I dont write full out sex stories, my Naruto story only has 3? chapters that have actual sex in it, and its currently 33 chapters long with a thick plot, detailed OC characters and staying as close to canon but still an AU of the world.
Aww! I don't know tons about the Naruto universe but I spent lots of time in Harry Potter Fandom... The kind of stories you describe are my all time favorites. The ones with deep plot and love and attention on character development... I didn't mind having to wait until chapter 10 to get a sex scene, and it was fucking intense when they finally hooked up too, because WE'D ALL WAITED SO LONG!
very cool, man
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4 minutes ago, Melrick said:
While I don’t avoid this genre, the one I’m least confident in is erotica. I don’t think I’m all that great at writing sex scenes. I think I’m better at all the non-sex related stuff. Still, I give it a red hot go none the less.
ok, seriously? I felt kinda uncomfortable reading your stuff because I thought it was like real
And by uncomfortable, i mean wet, Rofl!!!
3 minutes ago, Desiderius Price said:I figured practice would help me….
practice in fiction or in sex???
Ok, i’m getting off topic now
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On 6/6/2017 at 11:59 PM, Shunskitten said:
It’s fine! She’s 2 ½ now
all set except her speech. If you see me in the chat box, I’m bound to be talking about her, but it’s ok :3 I don’t mind talking about it at all.
I prefer salty snacks and soda :’D chips, crackers, those are my to but noodles are my comfort :3 and coffee dammit.
Yay!!! I’m hoping to become a mommy sometime soon too… Idk. Lol, i have a pregnancy kink tbh
On 6/7/2017 at 10:44 PM, PervOtaku said:Write stuff that doesn’t excite me, well not often, but I definitely have some ideas that are begging to be stories but don’t really feed into my personal kinks. So it will be interesting when I get around to them.
You never know… if you do a good enough job you may find your kinkier than you think
When I’m in another character’s mind, I have an amazing time doing shit i’d never do in my body
11 hours ago, Setesh said:I wrote a Pokemon yuri story exactly one time, even though I personally find girl on girl to be boring. it was mainly just an exercise to see if I could.
Then I got called a “psychopath who ruined the fandom” on a whole forum for it. So, ya know, that was basically the last time I did that.
That sounds like an epic story @Setesh!!!! Were you hunted by the fandom? lol what did you get up to in that yuri?!?! omg, you said pokemon… omg...
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17 minutes ago, Melrick said:
I think that’s when we really find out exactly where our writing level is at, when we push ourselves outside of our comfort zones. Staying in your comfort zone is safe but I personally think your writing can stagnate if you do that. Writing for different genres forces you to think differently, approach things in a way that you wouldn’t have before. My biggest Achilles Heel is coming up with plots that I’m happy with. I find it very, very difficult, which is frustrating.
I’m glad you enjoyed my story.
And you should definitely have a go at writing horror one day. It’ll be good experience if nothing else.
You are correct! I don’t want to stay in my comfort zone forever, and i’m def trying to improve and steer clear of stagnancy, so i know i’m going in the right direction. Also, i suppose that’s why I see so many different genres and challenges under your name, you are constantly seeing improvement as well *eye rolll* duh!
Thanks for the support Melrick! i agree, every attempt in my writing, while its not always been good, its always been an experience. I’ll tackle horror one day
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10 hours ago, PenStoryTeller said:
Don’t worry about sounding cliched but like anything else. Be aware of it. Once you are, you can use it toshape and guide reader expectations, and then skillfully subvert or redirect them. It’s one thing to talk about the sword that could never be held or pulled from the stone. It’s another thing entirely to make the story hinge around it.
See what I’m saying?
You can make it seem like the all important thing is the five finger death punch. or you can subvert it and make the death punch irrelevant by introducing a gun. In which case your Chekov’s Gun has become a McGuffin or a Red Herring.
Literary tools are fun to play with if you pay attention to what you’re doing. It’s why I liken them to tools. There are more ways to use a Hammer than most people can dream off.
What I love about writing is that its so easy to learn along the way… I think i’m a genius right now, but I thought that 10 years ago when I wrote my first story in high school. Yeah… I wasn’t a genius! Lol, I have proof of how dumb I was, actually
Anyways, i appreciate all the wise advice. I didn’t even know i was writing with literay tools, i just thought that’s how stories are set up! and they are in a way… But honestly, i just think you shone a spotlight on why great writers are great. It’s because they totally fuck with your mind
The way over any obstacle in life, and in this case, getting over cliched literay tools
is to be aware of your failings – if they can even be called that. Because the next time you approach a silimar plot, or any plot really, you’ll tackle it differently. Eventually, through practice, you’ll get over the hurdle I get what your saying!!!
3 hours ago, GeorgeGlass said:Being completely original is overrated. Just as impressive, IMO, is putting a new twist on an old trope, thereby messing with readers’ expectations in a way that they will appreciate and enjoy.
That’s what I think too… My favorite movie genre is horror and lately, it’s not the random crazy new shit they come up with that scares me… those stories usually seem to fall victim to the old tropes anyway. I like when they take a typical story and add a twist! Suddenly it becomes terrifying
Babadook for example… The story of a single mother struggling with her socially awkward child suddenly becomes a nightmare when the character from his bedtime story starts to stalk HER. I love that one
I swear you answered my question perfectly… nope! There’s no new ground. our responsibility now is to tweek and twist everything we’ve got so we can make new shit.
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22 hours ago, SirGeneralSir said:
i prefer a good story, its all about what i want to happen, how it should happen etc.
I have a Naruto story still in the works, but I also have others that ive been working on in my mind of very different worlds
Right on! I bet you get some crazy plot ideas playing around in Naruto’s world. lol. I understand completely
20 hours ago, Melrick said:I don’t restrict myself to any genre, nor do I deliberately avoid any. I only normally write original fiction though. I do like to challenge myself and push into different areas. I’ve only lightly dabbled in sci fi once so I’d like to do that again one day (sending unwanted plot ideas my way will be appreciated
), but my favourite genres are horror and fantasy. I’m open to any genre though.
I really liked Ripples… I’ve always wanted to attempt horror, it’s one of my favorite genres to watch. But its just never anything I’ve ever picked up to read. I’ve never touched Stephen King… I said all this in a review so I’ll just shut my fangirl mouth!
But yeah. I have a horror plot bunny hopping around in my head. i’ve got a good memory for stories, thankfully, so its tucked away in a corner of my mind. Horror bunny…. I’m imagining a zombie dragging its little bunny foot behind it! Ahhh!
Anyways, I was very restricted to plain jane romance, but as i’m attempting my sci fi story, i’m coming to see that just because I feel the writing will be a challenge, doesn’t mean its impossible… I fake myself out all the time. I plan a scene and think “There’s no way I can pull this off!” and i go over and over it in my head. Its like i have all my little dollies set up for this grand event, and i keep moving them around and changing their hair, lol!!!
It works though.For me anyway. Attempting sci fi has been a great learning experience! Challenge is not only good for my writing but its good for me too, because I’m really happy with my recent work. I literally had no idea i was capable of it
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Yea! I’m really liking this idea of AU history… Does the Abraham Lincon vs Vampires have a specific genre lol?
I’ve got a question for anyone who’s seen his stuff… is Quentin Tarantino, like the Django, The Hateful Eight and Inglorious Basterds… Are those AU history? He’s probably not as cool as i think he is, lol, but I’ve been wanting to do Django-ess m/m since I saw that in theaters.
OK! lol I feel like i’m about to let out the fangirl
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On 6/21/2017 at 5:23 AM, Tcr said:
My area of specialty, so to speak, is science fiction or speculative fiction. I also don't mind writing historical, but a lot of the time, I find myself having to smudge a detail slightly... And I don't like doing that…
I really avoid the romance... Like extremely... Like vampire and sunlight (and not the Twilight vampires...)... I don't really think I do good writing it... I actually think I fail when I've tried (I'm sure anyone keeping up on CHHW would agree...) Another I avoid, though not as vehemently, is westerns. I was never interested in them, so now I don't really have the interest in writing them.
Why do I write SciFi and historical? I guess it's the love of stuff like Star Trek and Star Wars with my grandfather. Good memories instilling that deep love of the genre. When I started writing, sci fi was the first I wrote... And historical, I just love history.
Aww! I love that you mentioned your feelings and emotions here… You even mentioned your grandfather! That’s so special and sweet! You should always stay true to your passions, but I swear you have it in you to be a romantic
I know you struggle a little in CHHW but its not bad! I’m a beta too, ok
16 hours ago, CloverReef said:I love historical, I just find it sooo difficult, mostly for the reason you mentioned. It’s hard to determine where it’s best to take a few artistic liberties and where to go with the research. But it’s soooo much fun.
I’ve never attempted history… it WOULD be difficult. Lol. I had a couple ideas I wanted to attempt that took place in the past, but I’m just afraid of messing up real facts. I’m not a good researcher of history, I’m not even going to pretend
Haha! How about writing an AU? huh? huh! It’s my take on how history played out 8 hours ago, SirGeneralSir said:depends on my mood for the universe that I want to write in, the kind of things that I want to happen to the characters and how it happens.
Hmmm, that’s slightly vauge SirGeneralSir! It sounds like your characters are created in an awesome dream like world, where anything’s possible
Fantasy much? Or do you prefer scifi?
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On 6/20/2017 at 10:44 PM, CloverReef said:
What genre/categories do you write in and why? Which ones do you avoid because you don’t like them, or avoid because they’re daunting?
Seems like a random question, but I’ve been mulling over taking another dip into fantasy. And when I mull, I ask a lot of questions. “Why do people read fantasy?” “Do I want to write campy fantasy, epic fantasy, or dark fantasy?” “What fantasy tropes should I stick with?” “How much fantasy is too much fantasy?”
I think most genres come with questions of their own. For me, fantasy is daunting because I have trouble deciding whether something is eyeroll-worthy or suspend-belief worthy when so much of it relies on that belief suspension. I tend to write dramas and thrillers with supernatural elements (or just plain violent), probably because I spent my life reading them. It’s easy to keep them character driven and sometimes fantastical and still pull enough of the real world in that I’m comfortable with the believability factor.
So:
What genres/categories do you play in?
What genres/categories do you avoid?
Why?Hey! Cool post!
Most of all, I do romance
I’m afraid I’m a little over the top, sopy at times, but idk, it balences out with my extreme love of drama!
Woah, I think I just described the scene of a soap opera… Ok, nevermind, I’m gonna have to rethink that *smh*
I’m attempting sci-fi in the story I’m working on currently. Its a challenge for me. I’m using a single character’s 3rd person perspective to keep certain plot points hidden from the readers and as the plot progresses, I’m very slowly unraveling the scifi. I def knew from the start I wouldn’t be able to go full blown ALIEN INVASION shit. So I structured the story to support my oh so wonderful talents in drama bs. Rofl!
I’m also interested in trying some fantasy when I’m done with my current story… I’d be interested to know how other people attempt that genre as well. I think it’s going to be a tough process… It’s not something I’ll approach without a lot of planning involved.
I already know I want to invent a mythology, an imaginary kingdom and a new world to put it in. I want magic with love spells and death potions and maybe a magical creature here and there
- BronxWench and CloverReef
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4 hours ago, PenStoryTeller said:
Let’s put it this way. It can either be used as a tool in writing, or as a mind set that informs your use of other writing tools. It would be foolish to be against it in either case since there are many cases for its use. Chekov himself showed this in his works, as did Poe, Lovecraft and many others. Like any tool however, careless and reckless usage can yield unsatisfactory results.
Here’s a common example of chekov’s gun in action. Ever notice that whenever a movie talkes about something being impossible, highly unlikely, or absurdly improbable it winds up happening.
Say no more!!! Yep, I know understand the tone of your last post, lol! Yep, I’m familiar with these famous last words
I don’t think I’m risking that kind of eye roll, but if I am, I hope to be called out on it because I understand what you mean perfectly now and what you are warning against…. Hamfists is right Just because your following the rules of Chekov’s Gun doesn’t mean you will be lead automatically to success.
In writing, i feel i so often risk sounding cliched, that’s a reason i HATE to plot ahead of time. I think that takes me farther and farther away from the characters and i start hitting plot points because I think i need to, not because the characters are actually destined to reach that point.
Anyways, thanks. I’ll keep:
4 hours ago, PenStoryTeller said:“No one can pull the sword from the stone”
In mind when i go through the next part of my story. I doubt i can be entirely original, is that even possible at this point? Is there any new ground to touch in this day and age? But I don’t wanna sound like i’m writing a gosh darn myth lol.
Mastershakeme's Review Thread
in Slash
Posted
Parasitic Love
I personally wouldn’t worry about Spoilers
i’m sure I’m the only one reading these anyway!
I thought it was cool having Connor thrash Greg a little, but I don’t think it was good enough! Peeps want more revenge! And I totally agree with the MIB. He’s crazy stupid
wrecking cars and breaking windows. What an asshole!!! More info will be coming… whenever I get to that next chapter!
Thank you Antiki!!!!!