sweetmamajama

LOL.  Out of control, you?  No, can’t be.  Must be talking about someone else…
I can’t do the PWP, myself, not because I don’t want to, but because I always set out without a plot, then it develops into something that needs multiple chapters to complete with an in depth plot that no longer quantifies it as a PWP…  Damn overworked Muse, can’t stop developing stuff!
To answer the original question, though, I try to write something in that doesn’t personally excite me in everything I write.  I think BaH is going to be the biggest one I’m going to have with that regards…  Most of the tags are stuff that I don’t personally get off on…  But, that said, I do have one line that I won’t cross…  I applaud those writing minor1/minor2, but that’s something I’ve tried and it just weirds me out a little too much…  I’ll beta off on stuff, but yeah, I don’t think I’ll be writing it...

Okay…  lol.  I’ll take BaH as my example here.  In the tags, as in the story, I do not personally get excited over the concept, written or otherwise, of rape.  However, I definitely love my history, I love trying to write the characters, I love transforming them.  Writing BaH and CHHW are all part of what I love and know, but some elements may not be personally stimulating for me.  The time frame for BaH was rife with things that are disturbing and not something I want to see in reality, but writing them is something that has to be done.  Not sure if I’m making any sense or just confusing more…
We’re all weirdos here, that’s why we write.  But yes, I understand, certainly.  And obviously, there’s a calling for it, so I’m not saying it can’t be, but it’s not something I, personally, would write.  Certainly, writing fiction is fine, but carrying it out in reality is not.
That’s a good way to think and to carry out the writing.  I try to do the same, for all the characters, not just the ones that don’t get me going.  Taking BaH for example (...again), I’ve never lived under the eminent threat of death that encompassed Germany at the time, never had to make the decisions any of the characters did, so I try to put myself back to that point.  It’s a little easier since that’s something I love (I love history and the World Wars are the areas most interesting to me).  But I do the research still, in characters, in everything I can do.  Come Hell or High Water is the same way…  Unfortunately, living in current times, I’ll probably never experience the wonders of the universe…  lol.  That said, I have tried to research characters to create real characters.  Stuff that doesn’t interest me, take the rape example from earlier, I’ve spent weeks trying to formulate a comprehensive, dark, yet strangely interesting scene regarding this (especially since this is a big moment in that character’s life...  Actually, this is one of those several huge moments in that character’s life and will have several overarching ramifications to the rest of the story.)

Hadn’t really considered it, but there is a difference in PWP of fanfiction vs original fiction.  In a PWP fanfic, you have the benefit of context, of characters that have already been built up, so if you write a Dumbledore/Riddle PWP, there’s already a backstory that the reader’s aware of.  But, a PWP original fic, without a world already built up, then it’s likely more gratifying, IMO, to google and get more vivid imagery/video of said act (assuming the act is legal).
I’ve got trouble there, myself.  In my current fic, I’ve got some scenes that are rather close to PWP, but those do serve a  purpose, even if the main focus of the chapter’s on the act.
I’m a weirdo!   And it’s fine that there’s a line you won’t personally cross – that’s the original question of the topic   Me, I don’t see myself doing [mpreg] anytime soon, but I’ll write teen/teen.  I do feel some ickiness if it’s adult/teen, and I’ll strike Thor’s hammer at any character pursuing adult/kid.

(I’ve been quiet because I’ve been enjoying reading the sprawling discussion ^^)
I enjoy PWP every now and then (both reading and writing), mostly in fanfiction instead of original fiction, but most of the time I enjoy writing out a full story.
I guess I don’t find it all that weird to write about because children are still sexual creatures. They explore their bodies and those of other children and do experience stimulation and orgasm. (I feel like a total weirdo talking about this. Let me clarify that I believe that fiction is fine, but obviously having sex with real children in real life is bad, m’kay)
 
I can’t speak for Tcr, but for me, when I write about things that I don’t like or that don’t turn me on I try to put myself in the shoes of the person who does enjoy it and then write from that point of view. For instance, if I decide to write from the point of view of a drug addict, even though I’ve never touched (non-prescription) drugs in my life, I’d do a bunch of research, probably read about people who used to be addicts, and then try my best to write about the feelings and struggles of being on and off the drugs. While having experience and loving what you’re writing about do help your writing, it isn’t mandatory for good writing. After all, I doubt Michael Crichton ever had experience in bringing dinosaurs back from extinction and making a theme park with them

My answers (also in the original):
When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?
 
Sometimes. There is a certain feeling of vulnerability in sharing your art with others. I used to feel really self conscious about my writing when I was younger and I often censored myself because I didn't want ppl to see my sick twisted little mind. But I think I kinda surpassed that, at least somewhat. Being anonymous on the internet helps. I try and remind myself that it’s not really worth dwelling too much on what other people think.
 
Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?
 
Again sometimes. It is quite easy to learn something about a person from their writing if you only look for it. Of course it depends on what type of a story it is and it varies from person to person.
But usually I think that it’s worth it. In order to receive you must give. Writing from emotion and being vulnerable can create amassing art. It creates a connection on a deeper level between the reader and a writer. And it gives the story a certain uniqueness. Like when you learn something about lives of famous authors you see their stories in a new light and you can see the personal connections with their art. I felt way more emotional about reading Kafka after I learned about his life and his abusive father. It put a lot of things in context and made his stories even more tragic in a certain sense because you could see the real man behind all the weird and abstract.
I believe that art is just another form of communication. Some people use writing as therapy, which is really fascinating to me. It’s kinda like dreaming. Our brain creates scenarios in which we can test our reactions and practice for real life. I think a lot of writers do this too, whether or not they're aware of it. It is also an exercise in empathy. You can write a character that you would find disgusting in real life and relate to them on a very deep level. It makes you question people around you, makes you wonder what their internal monologue looks like and why they say and do certain things.
idk where I was going with this...next!
 
People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.
 
Is that a question? This is really subjective. What is a right and a wrong way to live. Sometimes change isn't always for the better. Sometimes ppl change for the worse and destroy their lives and cause harm to others. Would that be more right than staying the same? Change for changes sake is not really what life is all about. But yeah it’s usually a good thing when ppl grow and mature and all that shit. Though you're not always in the right just because you're older. This really annoys me (from real life), ppl thinking they know better just because they're older than me. I'm all for hearing ppl out and all of that, but when somebody starts lecturing you about something they clearly know nothing about and think you're an idiot just because you're young I wanna choke a bitch!
Sorry...rambling again...I do that a lot
 
Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed? Can you go too far?
 
Hmm idk... Well I guess. But as long as you're not hurting anyone I think you're good. Doesn't mean ppl are gonna like it, they might hate it. But that doesn't mean you should pander to them. If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't think it’s right to censor ppl. Somebody above already talked about this and I think they said it way better than me so I’ll just leave it at that.
But let’s get more personal. I do have lines I don't wanna cross, because I don't want too. But that being said I already crossed a lot of lines...  My mind is a fucked up place and sometimes you gotta let em demons loose! A crazy idea pops into my head every now and again (and by that I mean all the time) but I'm not impulsive (or fast enough) to do all of them. So I sift through and way them and pick what I like and what fits. And sometimes my mind comes up with something so fucked up that I just have to do it! Like in one of my stories (that I haven't written yet and even if I did I couldn't post it here) the main character (underage, around 14) gets raped by his father, he's married to his sister who tries to murder one of her children (that is a product of rape by some other guy) and his mother made him disembowel a dog when he was a little kid in some weird ritual.
I often wonder wtfs wrong with me too...
Like what does this say about me? What would ppl think? Would they think I'm crazy? Would they think I'm a sadistic pedophile? Would they think I have daddy issues? I mean I am not even sure what that says about me! Shit just happens! The story just gets outta hand!
 
Wow these questions could be applied to my answers too... Do you feel self conscious? Yes! Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much? Yes!
 
Maybe you should.
 
Maybe...maybe not...
I'm not doing scat, damn it!

Aww boo! Why didya put me last bitch?!
I didn't know u deleted anything?

“When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?
Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?
People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.
Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?
Can you go too far?
Maybe you should.”
 
Okay, wow. Absolutely interesting questions!
I think I’ll always feel self conscious about writing. I suppose it’s largely a product of my upbringing, where your success/worth was measured by your financial success, in which case, as a writer, I’m not even close to making the grade as an abysmal failure.  On the other hand, I don’t measure my success as a writer by that benchmark, because, realistically, we’re not all going to be Names Who Earn Millions. The vast majority of published writers aren’t getting rich beyond the dreams of avarice, and lots have day jobs. What matters more, for me, anyway, is that I get past the self conscious part and put my words out there, for people to read. So, yes, I feel self conscious, every damned time, but I do it anyway.
Now, do I give away too much? I don’t know. I’ve never looked at my writing as some sort of peek into my soul. Given some of what I’ve written, I actually hope it’s not the case, but then again, if any darkness comes out only in my writing, that might not be such a bad thing.
I am most assuredly not the same person I was at 20, or 30, or even 40. In my case, this is a good thing.
When it comes to writing, I’m not sure I can say there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. I believe it is the role of art, including writing, to expose the truths about us, and I don’t think you do that by not crossing lines. It doesn’t mean we need to go out and imitate what we read, or write, for that matter, but if what we write opens someone’s eyes, it’s not a bad thing.
Can it go too far? Of course, if we decide to live some of the things we write. Absolutely. But as far as the writing of those line-crossing words goes, I think we should do it. It is imperative in some cases for us to do it, to expose the darkness and bring it into the open.

When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?   Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?
Yes.  Dreams, mannerisms, fetishes, biases, those things of the mind, you can’t help but let those out onto the paper, because the work is a product of your mind.  Sure, you can deliberately write from a different POV, write a different form of smut, still, your personality will bleed into the prose.  It can’t be helped.
Having a pen name helps, really helps, in letting me let loose, to separate fiction from reality when I hit that submit button.
Crossing Lines?
Lines are made to be crossed  
- DP
 

Hi! I saw this thread on Gay Authors .org in the forums and I found it really interesting so I wanted to bring it to AFF!
I'm not sure If I did this properly cause I couldn't wait for the admins to answer me! So sorry if I fucked up! Clovey said to blame her so...blame her!
Anyway these are the questions asked in the thread:
 
“When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?
Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?
People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.
Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?
Can you go too far?
Maybe you should.”
 
Let me know what you think and how you would answer these questions.
Link to the original:
https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/42868-exposing-yourself-in-text/#comment-696825

Aww bubeleh! How dare these fucks make fun of my clovey! Fuck em!
Maybe you should try working on that if you feel unsatisfied? Experiment with putting more of yourself into your writing? Have you ever heard of “dangerous writing”? Its great stuff. You can try it as an exercise, it might help you. If you're looking for help that is…
There are definitely differences between more objective and subjective lines. Like yours is minors, mine is scat (and other things too), thats subjective. But if you’re harming someone like slandering another person in your story with their real name without their consent or the example you used that yeah that is hurting someone and Id say that's objectively wrong and a line not to be crossed.

Hi! I saw this thread on Gay Authors .org in the forums and I found it really interesting so I wanted to bring it to AFF!
I'm not sure If I did this properly cause I couldn't wait for the admins to answer me! So sorry if I fucked up! Clovey said to blame her so...blame her!
Anyway these are the questions asked in the thread:
 
“When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?
Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?
People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.
Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed?
Can you go too far?
Maybe you should.”
 
Let me know what you think and how you would answer these questions.
Link to the original:
https://www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/42868-exposing-yourself-in-text/#comment-696825

My answers (also in the original):
When you write, do you ever feel self conscious about it?
 
Sometimes. There is a certain feeling of vulnerability in sharing your art with others. I used to feel really self conscious about my writing when I was younger and I often censored myself because I didn't want ppl to see my sick twisted little mind. But I think I kinda surpassed that, at least somewhat. Being anonymous on the internet helps. I try and remind myself that it’s not really worth dwelling too much on what other people think.
 
Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much?
 
Again sometimes. It is quite easy to learn something about a person from their writing if you only look for it. Of course it depends on what type of a story it is and it varies from person to person.
But usually I think that it’s worth it. In order to receive you must give. Writing from emotion and being vulnerable can create amassing art. It creates a connection on a deeper level between the reader and a writer. And it gives the story a certain uniqueness. Like when you learn something about lives of famous authors you see their stories in a new light and you can see the personal connections with their art. I felt way more emotional about reading Kafka after I learned about his life and his abusive father. It put a lot of things in context and made his stories even more tragic in a certain sense because you could see the real man behind all the weird and abstract.
I believe that art is just another form of communication. Some people use writing as therapy, which is really fascinating to me. It’s kinda like dreaming. Our brain creates scenarios in which we can test our reactions and practice for real life. I think a lot of writers do this too, whether or not they're aware of it. It is also an exercise in empathy. You can write a character that you would find disgusting in real life and relate to them on a very deep level. It makes you question people around you, makes you wonder what their internal monologue looks like and why they say and do certain things.
idk where I was going with this...next!
 
People go through all sorts of changes in their life. If you are the same person at 20,30 and 40, you are doing it wrong.
 
Is that a question? This is really subjective. What is a right and a wrong way to live. Sometimes change isn't always for the better. Sometimes ppl change for the worse and destroy their lives and cause harm to others. Would that be more right than staying the same? Change for changes sake is not really what life is all about. But yeah it’s usually a good thing when ppl grow and mature and all that shit. Though you're not always in the right just because you're older. This really annoys me (from real life), ppl thinking they know better just because they're older than me. I'm all for hearing ppl out and all of that, but when somebody starts lecturing you about something they clearly know nothing about and think you're an idiot just because you're young I wanna choke a bitch!
Sorry...rambling again...I do that a lot
 
Do you feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed? Can you go too far?
 
Hmm idk... Well I guess. But as long as you're not hurting anyone I think you're good. Doesn't mean ppl are gonna like it, they might hate it. But that doesn't mean you should pander to them. If you don't like it, don't read it. I don't think it’s right to censor ppl. Somebody above already talked about this and I think they said it way better than me so I’ll just leave it at that.
But let’s get more personal. I do have lines I don't wanna cross, because I don't want too. But that being said I already crossed a lot of lines...  My mind is a fucked up place and sometimes you gotta let em demons loose! A crazy idea pops into my head every now and again (and by that I mean all the time) but I'm not impulsive (or fast enough) to do all of them. So I sift through and way them and pick what I like and what fits. And sometimes my mind comes up with something so fucked up that I just have to do it! Like in one of my stories (that I haven't written yet and even if I did I couldn't post it here) the main character (underage, around 14) gets raped by his father, he's married to his sister who tries to murder one of her children (that is a product of rape by some other guy) and his mother made him disembowel a dog when he was a little kid in some weird ritual.
I often wonder wtfs wrong with me too...
Like what does this say about me? What would ppl think? Would they think I'm crazy? Would they think I'm a sadistic pedophile? Would they think I have daddy issues? I mean I am not even sure what that says about me! Shit just happens! The story just gets outta hand!
 
Wow these questions could be applied to my answers too... Do you feel self conscious? Yes! Do you feel like maybe you are giving away too much? Yes!
 
Maybe you should.
 
Maybe...maybe not...
I'm not doing scat, damn it!

I like getting credit for encouraging people. Blame counts as credit! 

As for the questions, I definitely always feel self-conscious about my writing, though not necessarily for the same reasons as the topic on the original post. Personally, I think the last time I actually felt like I was exposing myself, was the first time I ever wrote smut. People made fun of my story on the forum I posted it on (it was god awful, but thanks to their mocking I avoided posting smut for another year after that.) But other than that one time, I can’t say I’ve ever actually felt like I was exposing myself… But I have felt like I’ve been at the reader’s mercy. They sound like one in the same, but for some reason they’re entirely different issues in my head. Like, I’m afraid people won’t like what I wrote or they’ll ridicule it, but I’m never worried about what they’ll think the content says about me as a person?

I don’t feel like I’m giving too much. Sometimes I worry I’m not giving enough of myself. Those are usually the times I’ll delete the entirety of a chapter a dozen times and rewrite. That’s part of the reason I don’t post things often. Spend too much time agonizing over every little word, wondering how I can thrust more personality into it, and I never post until I’m sure. Sometimes I don’t even write until I’m sure. Definitely something I personally need to overcome. 
Not going to touch the changes topic. I think you already addressed it perfectly. 
Can lines be crossed? Fuck yes. Some lines need to be crossed. Some lines shouldn’t be crossed. My personal lines, content-wise, are with stories with minors. That’s something I won’t likely cross, but don’t fault others for crossing it. And there are lines I don’t think -anyone- should cross. Like using a story as a platform to advocate or support the oppression/abuse or the removal of basic human rights from individuals or whole groups of people. If your story makes a whole group of people in general feel attacked, or unsafe, or fearing for their lives, I’d definitely say that’s crossing a line that should not be crossed. 

well I do have a neck beard...

Hey don't shit on PWP! Its porn! I need my spank material!
Oh s not that hard, you just do your research and you’re covered! Well I hope so…
I mean you see it all the time, men writing lesbians, female whiting gay guys and in het writing from another persons POV. Thats what writers do, we put ourselves in other ppls shoes.
 

In my case its mostly about fantasy vs reality. For example in real life I am very squeamish about things I put near my mouth and face and butthole but I read and write m/m and find it pretty hot. I also find rimming very hot in fantasy but in reality I wouldn't wanna have my tongue anywhere near an asshole.
I have a lot of underage shit going on in my stories too (both written and still in my head) even though I don't find teenagers sexually attractive. I think that maybe that's because I find ‘sexual awakening’ interesting to write about. Also there are stories of mine that kinda demand it because of the marriage customs and the ideas of consent and sexual maturity are different in the story’s universe than in our own. And of course, since a lot of my characters have terrible childhoods, there are the backstories and flashbacks that are usually very... unpleasant to write. Hmm...when I look back I wrote a lot of things that were unpleasant to write…
But I think I got a bit off topic, sorry my brain is just not working properly today...idk did I answer the question? I forgot what I was gonna say! Whaa am I so broken?!

I don't think Id be forcing anyone if I just gave a hint to dummies that there are clues they could search for if they want an early answer. But I can force my betas to search for clues cuz they're my betas and my bitches! Its their job to tell me if the clues are working so get to searching!
So u also vote for not telling?

Well just because I didn't like most of them, doesn't mean other ppl don't. I can only speak for me and my taste in the end. If your not sure how your readers feel about the sex, ask them to comment on it specifically and to tell you what they're interested in seeing. Tho I'm sure they liked it otherwise they'd complain or stop reading. And if you like the sex you wrote who am I to tell you to change? Well yeah ur beta but...you know what I mean!
But s good ur looking for improvement if you’re not satisfied.
I think you got a pretty good sexual tension going in the beginning of Parasitic Love though some of that dispersed a bit when the characters started fucking around -which is only to be expected, i honestly don't think I coulda pulled it off better if I was writing ur story. So when it comes to sexual tension ur doing pretty fucking good (at least in what I read so far) so dont be so hard on urself boo boo!

Yee s what always happens to me too!
I set out to write a PWP or with very minimal plot and then it just gets totally out of control

Hey don't shit on PWP! Its porn! I need my spank material!
Oh s not that hard, you just do your research and you’re covered! Well I hope so…
I mean you see it all the time, men writing lesbians, female whiting gay guys and in het writing from another persons POV. Thats what writers do, we put ourselves in other ppls shoes.
 

Aww boo! Why didya put me last bitch?!
I didn't know u deleted anything?

I wish i would have talked to you about this in more depth… I solely blamed myself and ran off site crying, deleting everything in my wake! I’m just playing it off like it’s cool, but it wasn’t  lol!!! it’s only cuz you and @Tcr and @sweetmamajama held my hand and rubbed my back and told me it was going to be ok that I’m back trying again!!! We can’t let people affect us this negatively (or at least I shouldn’t, jesus) Anyways, as always, it’s good to know I’m not alone.