Joe Long

Only part way through...I sing, and rather well, I’d like to think. I’ve backed up Grammy Award winning vocalists in live concerts – but I don’t know what an A or E is either. Give me a starting note and I can read well enough to get the ups and downs and how fast it goes, but I have no clue which note I’m singing. The last few years I’ve gotten better at just memorizing it. Show me the lyrics and let me listen to three verses and I have it nailed. Notes are just confusing when I can simply feel the music.

Yes, there is something simmering below the surface. I think Ms. Cartwright had some urge to open up to Jack, but was being tentative and careful. Jack responding in that way panicked her. She pulled back and put up the defenses. She had to be in control of the situation – initiating instead of responding to Jack. That’s what was confusing to Jack. She was allowing familiarity, but only she when she started things.

I think Jack and Kayla being back together was unexpected news for Jessica – but something that she quickly realized was a better fit for her vile plans. It was ‘good’ for what Jessica wants to do.

There’s a lot of moving parts. Jack’s relationship with Kayla is on the mend but putting her back on Jack’s team throws her right into the deteriorating situation with Jessica. Meanwhile Beth Miss Cartwright moves into Danger, Will Robinson territory. Now that Belle has defined her problems to Jack, perhaps he can ask her, “I understand why you don’t want to hang out, but can we at least return to speaking terms, like when we’re in class?”

Definitely not a sex chapter. Jack is having a hard time with the ladies – Kayla, Belle, Beth, Rhona, Jessica. It could have been worse if Amanda wasn’t absent for the whole chapter. I’m still thinking nude pics of Miss Cartwright end up on Jack’s phone, somehow.

Against site rules to post outside url. Can you send me an email? jplong@mail.com

The brain may say one thing while the heart says another. Elemental urges can overwhelm any rational thought. In the end, Jack thought he was good because he overcame those urges and arrived at the correct outcome. That’s a guy thing. Kayla’s a girl, who’s much more concerned that he got there in the wrong way.

Some how I stopped reading about three paragraphs short of the end, thinking I had reached the end. I started in on the comments and was like, “What the fuck? When did Nick go to Kayla’s house?” Now that I’m properly caught up – just when Jack got a moment of peace with his mom, a step forward – he saw Nick and now his blood is boiling with all kinds of bad ideas. As soon as he rushes in to act he will be demonstrating that he doesn’t trust Kayla, he doesn’t have faith in her. He saw Nick and assumed the worst of Kayla. Three steps backwards – perhaps off a cliff. Being a more mature impartial observer who was a Nick as a teen – Kayla would know it would be a huge mistake to do anything romantic or sexual with Nick. He’s been pining for her for two years. Any amount of success and she will never be able to get rid of the guy. PS – Well, you made me do it and this time I was successful. Once upon a time, back around 9th or 10th grade, there was a lovely young girl named Jayne in my grade who also had moved into my neighborhood (3 blocks away, but same block as a couple friends of mine.) Looked great, smart, nice...and for as long as I knew her had a boyfriend. I think the same one. Forever. I was dreadfully shy but she was one I could talk to. Once summer she worked as the playground supervisor at the elementary school between our houses. Of course I hung out and did sweet things like remember her birthday. She knew I liked her, but she was taken and faithful. I was patient. For years. Then we graduated and I never saw her again. She’s never come to a reunion that I’ve been to (Our 40th is coming up in September.) So tonight this chapter made me think of her so I went to Google once more. When i tried yet again with her maiden name and also our town name, her father’s obit popped up. At least I thought it was. How many girls were there in our town with their name spelled ‘Jayne’ and with her maiden name? Back to Google with the married name and residence as of 8 years ago. Facebook - with two friends in common. She’ll be 58 in 3 days. She’s added some weight. She still looks good. I sent a friend request. Now just think if Kayla actually let Nick stick his dick in her. She would never, ever, be rid of him. And I was a nice, sweet guy – even if a little obsessive.

Faith. Jack isn’t patient. He wants the answer now. He doesn’t trust others to be able to do things on their own, in the future, so he insists on organizing and fixing their lives, treating them like children – and he’s their dad. He needs to be able to ask a question, get the answer and then just walk away without debating or psycho-analyzing the other person. Treat them with respect, as an equal, with their own agency. PS – Carnegie Mellon is a major theater school, right in the heart of Pittsburgh (literally across the street from Pitt, and a mile from Duquesne. A couple could live together and take the bus to different schools.)

31 of the last 50 chapters have been out between 12 and 16 days, with a low of 9 and a high of 33. Voyeur was slow, with the last 6 (of 7) chapters at 4 weeks each. Every other book has basically been on a two week schedule, give or take a couple of days.

Your Fitzsimmons comment made me laugh, but it’s not that Kayla won't commit. She’s already been with Jack for two years. It’s betrayal. Belle with the brief cameo. I agree. She reaches out to attempt a return to normalcy, but at the slightest hint of rejection gets angry and lashes out. Interesting thought about Grant. Jack finally did the right thing and made himself absent. That might also lull Amanda into a false sense of security. As I write this I wondered if Amanda may have been testing Jack to see how he’d react. Now that I went back and wrote the first paragraph last, I wonder if Amanda’s possible test could be in coordination with Kayla. Does Jack have his head out of his ass?

As I said in the last chapter, I’m almost certain I know why Kayla is mad. In fact, Jack’s Mom let the secret out. “We were the last resort?” From my own experiences with my wife, first I have to have a period where she can see me not doing what she was mad about. Before the not talking to each other gets too awkward I’ll strike up a conversation that has nothing to do with the disagreement to pull us back to our “normal world.” If and when she does bring it up again I make sure to apologize.

Only two typos in chapter 72: She batted at if for a second then, realizing it wasn’t a weapon or anything I know I’m sound like a whiny little piece of shit

Really good chapter. Jack’s confused and angry but not depressed. I’d have been in my room, crying my eyes out, perhaps after taking a baseball bat to the tree in the backyard. Through dating my now wife and then the first few years of marriage, she didn't say why she was angry and it was frustrating for me because I didn't know how to fix it. She thought any intelligent person would have figured it out. After awhile I did convince her to explain her anger, and then sometimes I wish I hadn't – but i did allow me to proceed while knowing what I was dealing with. I’ve been married enough years now that I know exactly why Kayla was angry. I’ve been there myself many times. If Kayla is anything like my wife (they are both women) this is what I imagine she'd say It’s not what Jack did in the end (which is what he's focusing on), but for Kayla it’s how he got to that decision. He cut her out of the process. Not as partners. Then he blathered on at her door about how he was going to fix things. Again, leaving her out, and Jack always wanting to “fix things” is how he gets into these problems in the first place. So no lesson learned, only one bullet dodged.

Jack’s in line for a hard crash landing. There’s no way he isn’t going to go through some massive suffering. Most important is to get Kayla back. Give her time, give her space, and don’t be a dick (I’ve been married nearly 33 years, I’ve gone though these spells) Meantime, Jack could end up assembling a new crew of friends that help him get through it. Nick may well be an unexpected friend (unless he has aims to swoop in on Kayla)

Over the past summer everyone around Jack was facing some kind of rejection. Now everyone’s rejected Jack. Well, just about. Who’s left? His parents, Joe – and Beth Miss Cartwright. Jack’s in a bad spot. He went from a fear of Brad to being so high to being rejected by the last person – Kayla closing the door in his face. I think Jack has to go much lower before he starts back up. How will he handle being alone? Fiendish plot twist to remove everyone from Jack’s life – Miss Cartwright accidentally sends those nudes to Jack’s phone instead of her boyfriend’s, and Mrs. Harrison finds it. Over nearly two million words there’s been a lot of drama in this story, but nothing touching on substance abuse. There’s been drinking but I don’t recall anyone drunk. This may be something to consider as Jack reaches his darkest places. After mentioning Scott Stapp above I googled to get the name of the song (“Only One”) but also came across the video for “Slow Suicide.” Stapp did suffer through substance issues which are referenced in the video.

There were some earlier crumbs that could have hinted at pregnancy, then as this chapter rushed headlong towards the end it became apparent that something was up with Kayla that would radically turn the story. Therefor, my first thought was pregnancy – but as soon as she opened the door and was sniffling I tossed that out. It was a simple illness, although one that would add to her grouchiness and make it more likely for her to react rashly to Jack, even if he was being an ass. Well, he thought he was fine – but he had made his decision after consulting with Joe and Rhona after not listening to Kayla, and kept saying, “I’m going to fix everything!” which is his core flaw. So Jack may have avoided disaster with Brad, but he hasn’t yet learned the truth about himself.

Because just when she has doubts about whether she wants to stay with Jack, she finds she’s bearing his child. That’s conflict for you. I was just looking over the notes at the end of the writing in my story and spotted this lyric (from Scott Stapp’s latest album) that I had pasted in. Honestly, it may apply to Jack better than to my characters. You can go, you can leave this town. Forget about the people and the places, and the faces that have let you down You can hide, you can change your name But the fear will always find you, if it's coming from inside you, so you've gotta change

When I knew that Jack wasn’t going to fight I started to panic. What’s wrong with Kayla. This story is going to take an abrupt turn. Is she pregnant? Then when Jack started gushing all the stuff at her and saying, “I’m going to fix it all...” I knew that’s his problem to begin with – and so did Kayla. “She’s going to break up with him”

As we’re ending another saga (book) in the series, I’m in need of updating my Saga Index. Can anyone pitch in to complete this? Kayla Saga: Chapters 1-8 Jessica Saga: Chapters 9-15 Tara Saga: Chapters 16-22 Twins Saga: Chapters 23-28 Summer Saga: Chapters 29-37 Fracture Saga: Chapters 38-45 Voyeur Saga: Chapters 46-52 ??? Saga: Chapters 53- Demons Saga: Chapters -70

Does she have multi-colored hair?

I was a little late in reading this chapter, but here are some comments Danger Will Robinson! Jack is getting fucked with from both ends at the same time, and this threesome will be even more painful than the first. He hates Brad, talks to him, then thinks he may be telling the truth about Jessica. Then he hates Jessica, talks to her, then thinks she may be telling the truth about Brad. He is getting played! My daughter’s just a couple years older than jashley is (and went to school down near where Tara lives.) Her high school years were horrendous. Girls are so mean. It was a constant deluge of, “Did you hear what Jessica said about you?” “No – I don’t hate you. Did you hear what Brad said about you?” and the whole time they’re laughing their asses off while their target is going insane. Jessica wants Jack to fight Brad not only to get Brad off her ass but also to see Jack to get the shit kicked out of him again. Where’s Rhona when Jack needs her? (and he might need some release if Kayla keeps her distance for too long)

Could you tabulate the sagas and which chapters they cover? I lost track about 25 or 30 chapter ago.

aw fuck...I’m so sorry

Why is Brad afraid? We assume he doesn’t want to go back to jail – but Mr. Nightengale hinted that Brad’s situation could be improved if he could only talk to jack. When he did, it was to blame the mess on Jessica. Could it be that Jessica has something on Brad that she’s blackmailing him with? She might hold some power over Brad. I might get banned if I quote my story, but I’ve had my characters mention more than once that they need to be careful of odors. Spray air freshener around the room, can’t do it in the car on the way home because Mom might catch a whiff, be sure to use the motel shower afterwards, etc But yeah, a chapter or two back Jack spent a Friday night in Kayla’s room. Good authors don’t leave explanations hanging!