pippychick

Celebrate!  Maybe a few more people will die in your next chapter?

Well, best of luck to her, and I trust she didn’t let the door hit her in the arse on the way out. You are well shut of her, and I agree—I pity her children as well. Karma will deal with her, lass, don’t worry.

Okay, boobies do make most things much better, I’ll be honest.  Thanks @pippychick 

Jeebus Melrick.  Hang in there, things are bound to improve!

Sounds like a big pile of shit to have to deal with. I hope things improve for you somehow.

Oh, Melrick…
Ok, I don’t usually do this, but… you asked for it…
*grabs Melrick and holds him to her bosom*
…
*lets him go before he suffocates*
Right…
 

Oh, Melrick…
Ok, I don’t usually do this, but… you asked for it…
*grabs Melrick and holds him to her bosom*
…
*lets him go before he suffocates*
Right…
 

Oh, Melrick…
Ok, I don’t usually do this, but… you asked for it…
*grabs Melrick and holds him to her bosom*
…
*lets him go before he suffocates*
Right…
 

I think the holidays are set up to magnify our daily stress by pressuring us to have the sort of perfect lives we see in advertisements and on holiday greetings. Like Pip, I wish there was something I could offer more than a virtual hug.
 

So sorry, Melrick… I wish there was something – anything – I could do to make things easier on you. Also give your mum a hug too.

Lazy lie in with a NO dress code?

Sounds like someone’s going to be getting “a damn good rogering”.

Well… I’ve been taking a break watching Lucifer, because I went out and got the DVD today. I love Tom Ellis. But… I couldn’t help myself. To be honest, I think it still sounds like them.
[An unusually large and fearfully well-armed woman is decorating a Christmas tree, when she is disturbed by an unusually large man]
ROGER: [A man who is not a Knight] “A fucking Christmas tree. Does it have to sparkle like that?”
BELLA: [A woman who is also not a Knight] “Yes, of course it does! Oh wait, it should be twinkling too.”
BELLA: [Messes with the plug socket. Lights begin twinkling.] “There.. isn't it pretty?”
ROGER: [pulls a face]
BELLA: “Here, hang some knights on it.”
ROGER: [rather more cheerfully] “Oh, well. All right then.”
[ENTER a VIKING, also of unusually large size]
VIKING: “What the fuck is that?”
BELLA: “It's a Christmas tree. It's to do with Christ being born.”
VIKING: “You southern twats are always inventing Gods. I think you long to be taken in hand, all of you.”
ROGER: “Fuck off!”
VIKING: [touches one of the tree branches] “Oh yeah? What's this then?”
BELLA: [smiles with delight] “Artificial snow.”
VIKING: [looks utterly aghast] “Artificial snow? Right. That's it. I give in.”
ROGER: “What?”
VIKING: [cracks knuckles and pats knee] “Come here. I'm going to give both of you exactly what you want... you can say you're getting it for Christmas.”
 

Brilliant!

Well… I’ve been taking a break watching Lucifer, because I went out and got the DVD today. I love Tom Ellis. But… I couldn’t help myself. To be honest, I think it still sounds like them.
[An unusually large and fearfully well-armed woman is decorating a Christmas tree, when she is disturbed by an unusually large man]
ROGER: [A man who is not a Knight] “A fucking Christmas tree. Does it have to sparkle like that?”
BELLA: [A woman who is also not a Knight] “Yes, of course it does! Oh wait, it should be twinkling too.”
BELLA: [Messes with the plug socket. Lights begin twinkling.] “There.. isn't it pretty?”
ROGER: [pulls a face]
BELLA: “Here, hang some knights on it.”
ROGER: [rather more cheerfully] “Oh, well. All right then.”
[ENTER a VIKING, also of unusually large size]
VIKING: “What the fuck is that?”
BELLA: “It's a Christmas tree. It's to do with Christ being born.”
VIKING: “You southern twats are always inventing Gods. I think you long to be taken in hand, all of you.”
ROGER: “Fuck off!”
VIKING: [touches one of the tree branches] “Oh yeah? What's this then?”
BELLA: [smiles with delight] “Artificial snow.”
VIKING: [looks utterly aghast] “Artificial snow? Right. That's it. I give in.”
ROGER: “What?”
VIKING: [cracks knuckles and pats knee] “Come here. I'm going to give both of you exactly what you want... you can say you're getting it for Christmas.”
 

Clean and gut the reindeer around the Christmas tree!

Maybe you could retool the chapter into something else? Rename the characters, stick in a Christmas tree and BAM! Holiday fic. I bet it’d work for E L James...

Trust me, I may drop a few on you, if I can ever find an hour or two a day in which to, you know, write...

Bronx, that would be so helpful – thank you!
Give me a couple of days to polish it up (you know what I’m like)… but it’s the big things I’d need the read through for, anyway. There’s definitely something amiss here, and I’m damned if I can work it out. Or perhaps I’ve just given myself too much of a challenge. That’s always possible too.
I hope you know how awesome you are  

You *could* run it by me. I’d be happy to take a look!

Maybe just hold off on scrapping it till some people read it; perhaps an objective reader can point out what is 'off' and suggest a fix?
I definitely wish you luck- I have a ridiculous amount of WIPs cause they went sideways on me.

My… what? No….
I just can’t write original. I’ve tried. It comes out like a plate full of sick.
Maybe I should consider getting some sleep before work tomorrow anyway.

I’ve written about 130k words on mine. I’m sure about 60k of that is probably utter filth. 30k is leading into the filth. 10k is fighting, 10k eating, 10k bathing, which leaves 10k of writing with the chance for literary merit. I am a bad writer.

Word count…
Generally, I take note of word count as a courtesy to the readers. I think anything from 3k to 5k words is a manageable length for a chapter. Anything beyond that is (imho) demanding, and anything less is not worth posting. I find I can usually get my scenes to fit in that structure. Sometimes I have evil cliffhangers… especially lately.
Keeping that word count in mind tends to keep my structure fairly coherent. I’m happy with it. It works for me.

@pippychick  I think I will use your guideline!!