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Demonadine

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  1. Just a quick note: I have broken the fic into 3 chapters and tinkered a bit with specific words and details. Very subtle differences and not that important, but I'm persnickety like that.
  2. This is where I'll be posting long review replies and comments for this story. Feel free to talk about my work, red pen me, concrit and even disagree with me, but please remember to keep it limited to the story and not me, personally.
  3. So here is where I will post long replies to reviews and discuss anything else about this story that people want to. Feel free to red-pen me, discuss, disagree etc, just please remember to make it about the story and not me personally, since you likely don't know me. Aleta: I am sorry that you didn't like this story, but I thank you for pointing out that the ages of the characters involved were not clear. Rogue Mudblood Thank you so much for all the detailed information you've given me. I don't believe that line about no bad sex either, but it seemed like the kind of dismissive and somewhat selfish thing Jareth would say just to get his way. Oh yes he has things to learn yet as well. Of course he could make anything look like anything, but I'm really trying to show how rattled he is about the situation as well, and also his genuine desire to not freak Toby out even worse. Toby grew up in a high school class with only one other openly gay boy. Its mentioned later. While his family is supportive, there is still, for him, a feeling of oddness. Some of it is probably not actually be the gay part, but the whole situation; its just easier to focus on the "simpler" part of the weirdness and the unknown. I drew from my sex ed class here, they cover m/f sex pretty thoroughly, but there wasn't much mention of anything else, so I thought that perhaps it would be strange to him. LOL yeah I tried to hint at the most likely way for Toby to have seen anything at all about BDSM, since at 18 its unlikely he'd have looked it all up, besides it gives us something to snicker about in regards to Sarah. The gem has a limitation in that it has to be present when the actual spell is cast and the dream spell is ongoing, having actually been put into place many weeks before, but that isn't clarified until a little later. On the length, I'll be sure to break it into smaller pieces now that you mention it. I'm afraid I'm one of those irritating folks who read ludicrous amounts at a time without noticing. As to Toby's traumatic dreams, well you can bet your favorite toy it will affect their relationship in the future. When the admitedly powerful first haze of lust and shock wear off, things will get a little less easy for GK. I too have only seen the movie, until I found the fandom on this site and ffn, I really had no idea there was anything else. As far as I know the themes of abuse and sadness aren't terribly prevalent, they just seemed to fit this particular story. And I love the nonchalant line about killing those responsible too. It just seemed to me like Jareth would be a great deal darker and more deadly when he isn't dealing with a fifteen year old girl he's half in love with, so I took the hints at the darkness from the movie and expanded them. Lastly, thank you for the grammatical links. Its vs. It's has always been a bogey of mine, even though I know better I just can't seem to catch them all. Worse yet, I am entirely unsure of what a direct address comma is. I'll take a look, and I know it will be a nice read because its Pittwitch. Again thanks so much for the lovely compliments and info!
  4. I really need someone to help me go over my writing and check it for clarity, content and punctuation. If anyone is interested I can promise you a lot of reading material in the following areas. Harry Potter M/M, M/F 3+, Labyrinth M/M, M/F, 3+ and Original fiction and poetry with an eclectic mix of traits. Thanks for thinking of me =)
  5. Okay time to add some more information and change things around. Also to reply to my reviews. heartstar I'm definitely going to write more and I do hope you continue to find this interesting. Sidenote to all readers I will not abandon this story. Ever. I have stories on my hard drive that I've been writing for over ten years, and I still add to them. Galina: well I'm sorry you don't like my mode of address for the dork lord. Uh I mean dark lord. Maybe I need a spanking from Sevvy poo. But I do hope you enjoy other fiction. Piertotumlocum88 Thank you for the lovely compliment,. If you have any questions about what's posted, pleased feel free to email them to me. Some of them I might even have an answer for Mark's Pet: Yes I thought that was a nice twist myself. A killing kiss.If you like threesomes with Sev, Luce and Hermione, then you will like this story. Unless you insist it be all gloom and doom. That I'm not so good with. There will be serious catch your breath in your throat moments, but they'll still be offset by nicer things. nonentity: I'm so glad its not sappy. I don't like cloyingly sweet things, but I do confess I enjoy humor. This story will have plenty of fluff but there's a built in safety in that everyone's already dead, so how much worse can things get? Well plenty, but I'm rather fond of crack fic so this will probably not get too dark. And I'm flattered that you like it. There will likely be more about the hellcats joking and otherwise. Just to clarify the love interest notes. Yes Harry is definitely putting in an appearance. Who knew that Sev had a secret hard on for him? Or that Luce would want a chance at him. Harry was the one Hermione wanted first, but Ron is the one she settled for getting the attention of. It's Ron who died from Syphillis. Nope I don't hate him, that's just how this particular fic wanted it. Other than being a male slut, Ron was a good person and didn't do anything to deserve damnation, even on a technicality, so he's Somewhere Else. Lastly, does anyone know how to add a new tag? I did promise to use the Vore tag and do it in a flufftastic way *s*
  6. Ever since I saw Ella Enchanted this idea has been kicking around in my mind. So I will play around with it.
  7. okay will do! lmao I will add the vore tag to my current WIP Why Snape Took Over Hell and use the concept in the update. AND I will still keep this story almost fluffy in its funniness.
  8. Please, please take a look at my original works and tell me what you think. I'll reply to reviews and any posts through this forum here. This section I'll use for all of the poetry I post, so as to not have a million forums to check. Eventually I'll set one up for any original fiction stories I might post.
  9. Okay first off just let me get the bouncy squees out of the way. Yay someone actually read my stuff who wasn't my best friend or mom! Next up thanks for the encouragement. I don't really think that respect for Voldemort's proper title is first on any of these characters' minds now that the screw has turned and The Dark Lord has become Snape's personal whipping boy. You know it, even if I never get around to mentioning a scene of Voldy torture, you just know it happens. lol Further information. This fic is for a friend of mine. She requested it and I'm writing mostly with her crazy sense of humor in mind. Yes there will be all the goodies promised in the codes. I didn't put this under AU because I really think that aside from Snape living long enough to piss off the ministry and get stuck marrying Hermione, who had also pissed them off, this could all have happened after the books. I really do think Harry will make an appearance as a friend and fun character, perhaps to worry Severus since in this fic Harry is the one Hermione was in love with. I don't know about using the MCD tag though because yes a lot of people died, but it really was before this fic, and we get to lasciviously observe their afterlives, so it may not actually matter. I have no plans for this to be a heavy, sad story. I am having to do all my writing AND posting at the library right now, but I hope to have another update for you all next week. Thanks for reading and feel free to talk about my story here and any ideas or rants you have.
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