username-classified

The good news is that I'm only completely and utterly unproductive on my first day off after a workday. The bad news is that my work schedule rarely ever gives me two days off in a row.

so...aparently I'm older than 75% of the management in my store. That's 3 out of 4 managers that I'm older than...I'll let you click on my profile and check my age...don't worry I'll wait....yeah...I thought I would be older when I started working for someone who was younger than me.

"...cause I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other is...scatterd in my backyard." ...man...the song just isn't the same since the firecracker accident.

Sometimes I feel bad for my wife...I've got that condition that makes it difficult to have sex...ya know....extreme ADHD... most of the time it goes down like this *thud* *thud* *thud* *thud* "hey...what's that over there."...........*buzzzzzzzzzzzzz*..."oh...I guess you don't need me right now...I guess I'll go play more videogames."

My neighbor was yelling at me again. I’ve got no idea what he’s saying; but man, does he get mad when I spray him with the garden hose.

it's strange that the moth infestiation in my pantry mysteriously vanishes the same week that my house guest moved out.

who the hell keeps eating the food in my refrigerator...and why does my key never work for the front door?...I don't remember buying that couch? Who's kids are these?