Lisbet_Adair

Author: Lisbet Adair Title: The Dance Summary: Soap MacTavish is struggling with getting his life back together after the end of Modern Warfare, and the reappearance of a familar face offers him the opportunity to lose himself for a while. Feedback: Feedback and constructive criticism much appreciated. Fandom: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Pairing: John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley Warnings: M/M, Oral, Anal URL: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600088767 I've been writing various fics for this fandom for a while, and it's been really hard to get much constructive feedback on the adult pieces as it's such a niche fandom. This piece is a bit of a change of style for me as usually I do third-person narrative, but after reading some military erotica, I decided to switch to first person as that seems to be favoured in the published work of this genre. I'd be really grateful to hear if people think that this works or not, or in fact if they have any advice for improving this, or any of the other pieces I've published on this website. Many thanks for reading! Lis

I think there's various reasons as to why someone choses to write about violence, as Attackegg says it's sometimes necessary for the narrative: the experience of a soldier in the First World War, a prisoner in Auschwtiz, a child witness of genocide in the Democratic Republic of Congo. All of these characters are living in violent times and the description of the violence is part of the story. That said, there's a big difference between telling the story of these characters as serious narrative and writing pornography about the same characters. Frankly, I think you need to lack empathy for other people to write a fantasy story which is aiming to produce arousal from non-consensual violence, or, consume pornography in which non-consensual violence is an integral part. I think the reason that non-consensual pornographic writing it's so common here is largely down to a lack of experience, theoretical or actual, of human suffering and also due to the widespread misogyny that infects heterosexual pornography. If all you have only every experienced pornography through media which displays contempt of human beings, this will seem like normal sexual behaviour.

Word. The idea that one character is less dominant because he or she is penetrated during sex is just plain wrong. That said, it's an opinion that you can work into your fics if one of your characters is defensively homophobic, and refuses to try being the recipient partner because they see that as being less "manly".

Two new reviews! The first is from someone called "Blue" who wasn't logged in at the time of leaving the review. I have to say, I really enjoyed reading this! I love how you 'designed' Gary, and I LOVE the interaction between Gary and Simon. I can't honestly think of anything I didn't like about this story! Firstly, thank you very much for taking the time to read the story and review it. There's not a big community of COD fans over here, so I sometimes feel as if I'm writing into the void. I did spend some time working on who Gary (Roach) was, because we don't know anything about him in the Modern Warfare series. I had this clear idea in my head that he was dark skinned (I have no idea why), and that he would be confident and friendly to counterbalance (Simon) Ghost's introversion. His personality really evolved to provide a challenge to Ghost and to give Ghost a locus at which he could start to become comfortable with his own sexuality. I enjoy reading about human sexuality and its expression in culture. It struck me that there's probably gay men who grew up hiding who they were and would only allow themselves an outlet in anonymous sexual encounters like cottaging and in saunas, and I wondered how they felt about gay men who are open about their sexuality and form lasting relationships. I did wonder if I had gone too far with how anxious Ghost is about what happens between him and Gary, and I still haver over his emotional wobble after their first kiss; although I stand by that the fear of being exposed as gay combined with his sexual desire for Gary would push him further than anything has before. The next review is by another user who didn't log in but who has used the name "Nikolai". This story was stunning, to say the least. I actually imagine the two with switched roles, as does my sister, but this was new and I certainly enjoyed it! I'm new to writing erotica myself and if you have any tips for writing such, I'd love to hear them, haha (: Anyways, you did an amazing job! I love the way you write-- it's brilliant! I wish it wasn't so short, but I hope to see more from you in the CoD area! More of these two or the other Modern Warfare characters!! Again, thank you very much for taking the time to stop by and I'm glad you enjoyed the story! I've already gone into my reasons for why Roach is taking the lead in seducing Ghost above, but I've seen people play the other way around with Ghost being more aggressive and leading Roach. It's not that one will top the other; although Ghost does have personal issues with what he sees as submissive positions, just that Roach's confident shines over Ghost. Writing erotica? I read a lot myself, so I know what I've enjoyed and try to emulate it (I have some recommended reading attached to my profile). I also watch a lot of gay porn to get ideas (although I know this is inaccurate as portrayal of what gay sex is truly like, in the same way that straight porn is with regard to straight sex) and as a women who has sex with men, I have an idea of what some of the experiences are like. This is not a story I'm finishing, but the the way I imagine this story to run is clearly episodic. The next segment will deal the pair a series of challenges both personally and professionally, and I will probably make a start on it in the next few weeks. Unfortunately, if you're not a user on the site (or forums) I can't let you know when the story goes up. [EDIT: I'm a massive plum. I realised I can see your email address when I read the reviews. DERP!] Regards, L

Next review is also from BotechelliAngel. Again, I'm really grateful for your time, because I know it's not your fandom. omg... yummy slash! Very good style and momentum. You gave just enough background info to make the porn meaningful. Thanks. Reading this back, I think all the pertinent information about the pairing is covered before the sex, and it might work as generic gay soldier erotica. It's the first piece of slash I ever wrote, and I'm pleased with how it turned out.

Well, what I know about Viking culture is only because I was schooled in an area that was invaded by them, but that isn't much beyond very junior school level. There is a brief section on Viking culture in the BBC Website which might provide you with a brief overview to start with. You have the option of alt history here too, where you could develope a Viking civilisation with more advanced engineering. I once went to a talk by the EFF Journalist and fiction writer Cory Doctorow, where he said something I found very useful "You don't need your special writing chair" by which he meant that travelling whilst reporting for EFF had obliged him to write in all sorts of difficult locations and in the end, the challenge of this helped him develop the skills he needed to be able to write anywhere. Admittedly, if you're writing erotica, this is difficult to do in a public place!

Well, they never said anything about whether or not you could split a horcrux once it's created, so that makes sense.

I know this is thread necromancy, but I wondered that within the Harry Potter universe there must be children from Muggle families and Muggle families who cannot cope with the massive culture shock that is the magic world, and who have nervous breakdowns as a result. How do you deal with that? Are there children who have magical skills, but can never use them because they can't function in the magical world? How do Muggle families know how to get to Diagon Alley or onto the platform if they've no magical skills themselves and no wand yet? Also, all Muggle parents we met were supportive of their children, what happens to the ones that aren't? Are Muggle children adopted into magical families if they no longer have place in the Muggle world? All these thoughts, which I don't want to explore in fiction, feel free to use.

I've only seen the first series of True Blood, but imagine that there's probably a dark underworld of vampires going around dressed in tweed calling themselves Morris and Gladys and having lots of vanilla sex. (All credit to Terry Pratchett, who had this idea of reversed goff in vampire fiction in Carpe Jugelum)