magentasouth

Dear anyone who remains. Nope. I actually haven't abandoned these stories. I did have some long term RL pursuits that had me keep fanfiction on the uber down-low. Will update as soon as AFF lets me. Captive Audience: about four new chapters. Writing on this at the moment. I know this story all the way to the end, with just a few questionmarks here and there. Precious Mudblood: This story is being a pain in the arse. I know what I want to write all the way to the ending but it doesn't want to be written like that. Feels wrong when I write it. Will get back to it when it lets me. That Which We Make For Ourselves: - ditto. I know this story all the way to the end but It's not calling right now, captive audience is. The first Horcrux: 2 new chapters. Possibly three. (Kind of more like ten chapters but they split and then veer off in different directions and i'm not sure which direction I like better. I do not know this story's end. It is writing itself. New Skin: New chapter and a half. Necessary sacrifices: New chapter. (there were actually three but I lost them and had to rewrite)

Alright... alright. I'm uploading. Dang. I wanted to increase my buffer before putting anything up, because I know people will get antsy if there's a long break between updates again. I only have three more PM chapters stashed ahead of the writing horizon.

Wonderful news! I have just fortuitously changed jobs and will now have TIME (ah glory of glories!!) to dedicate to writing. I look forward to resuming regular updates soon, starting with PM (since that seems to be the story that readers continue to review) Thank you to anyone who is still hanging in there!

Ok. That time again (although i feel cheap replying to reviews when I haven't updated all stories in a long while but I have points to address and so needs must) These are not in order of reviewing but in order of immediate urge to respond. Precious Mudblood @Lyra Aphrodite Moon I agree entirely - This story grates against me at the moment because it feels like it is in three sections in my mind. Problem is that by the end of my storyline (yes I do have it complete in scratch form) it becomes essentially four sections and an potential epilogue in my mind. It irritates me because I want to rewrite it. I have actually had three lovely individuals approach me at various times offering to beta but I have either been far too busy or wimped out before I continued along that line. Technically I'd like to correct everything myself and probably a measure of rewrite will be involved - none of which will happen if I hand it over to someone else. Or worse - all of which will happen, but not as I was planning. Worse.. there are scenes in the immediate future which are necessary and which I have no real interest in writing. I put it on pause in order to prevent myself from coming up with an avoid technique to get around those scenes. It is so tempting to skip over them. As you say - there is more sex and gore in this story than strictly necessary. i find myself less interested in writing the sex and gore parts than I used to be and that is giving me a problem because both are required to get where I am going. @shannon Thank you so much! I am sorry if you are a bit confused in the later chapters (I assume from the jumps back and forth to draco and hermione in the future) - if you let me know what is confusing you, I will try to iron it out a bit. New Skin @KisaraP Thank you thank you thank you for your review. Reading it made me feel warm, proud and motivated to go and write. Which I did. And then I deleted. and then I wrote and then i cursed for a bit and walked around in a sulk and now I'm writing again. I hope this story continues to surprise you. The first Horcrux @krysania Thank you - I try. I'm not sure what AO3 is actually so I guess..no.. no I haven't thought of moving there. I'll google it. Keeps slipping my mind. Other related updates. I wrote two chapters of Necessary sacrifices - and I was actually pleased with them. Of course now they are somehow gone and I cannot find any copies. All i have is three or four copies of the earlier point that I stopped at. Can only imagine that i must have saved it over them accidentally when pulling out autosaved files. Drove me mad for a few days and the motivation to rewrite is never easy to find. I guess i'll rewrite and change things to make it bearable. Perhaps i'll post the chapter I have anyway. Till next time, M.

Hi Fleur, I thought I had responded to your mail specifically. ...Actually I responded to it on several occasions but often was interrupted. Perhaps I never managed to get one of them up at all. First - thank you so much for your kind and generous words. I was touched that you cared enough to respond to my rather ranty and self-pitying post. it brightened my day. I considered teaching overseas. I still consider it occasionally. The dynamics of the student loan system in New Zealand mean that I would have to pay massive amounts of interest if I left the country for longer than six months. Thus the money I might earn if I left would have to be not only considerable but also regular and reliable. None of the positions I have looked at have been able to tick all those boxes. (If i left for a year and came back, i'd still have to pay interest, even living here and thus my situation would worsen rather than improve) Nevertheless I did appreciate the idea and wanted to thank you! M

I like taboos. That's ok. I was extremely rigorous in my Masters thesis. I didn't write these stories for others and I don't take them too seriously. I wrote them as a pleasurable escape from analysis of truly painful amounts of raw data. I wouldn't have started writing at all, had I not actually run out of fanfiction to read in the ships I like. I like to surprise people with things they have forgotten they read. But since it confuses you to such an extent. I'll throw away this one surprise and explain. Voldemort demanded Hermione make a horcrux, however she actually ended up making two, simply by virtue of the fact that he would not remove the magic suppressing bead. He even said as much at the time. This is the bead that she is wearing when she wakes up with Draco. The bead which we know Harry removed from her in order to force her to use her abilities, which resulted in her ending in the past. Draco is evidently lying to her - judging by the things he tells her when she wakes up; i.e things that we know did not happen, such as that she has been in some kind of coma since the attempt to make a horcrux - obviously Hermione hasn't. Thus nothing else he has told her can be entirely trusted. Beyond what is shown, we know nothing of what has occurred in the future after Hermione's departure. We do not even know how this bead/horcrux came to be in Draco's possession. Look forward to reading it then. I like your conceptualisation of Voldemort. I'm sure you'll write the scene better than I wrote it. It was a bit of a cop out at that stage in the story. It solved a problem conveniently at the time.

I take it this is already closed. I don't check my mailbox for this site very often. If you are still looking for writers, let me know.

Here (for the first time in twelve aeons) there will actually be review replies. I kind of lost track of reviews for a while so if you reviewed in the period when I was still AWOL - I apologise for not responding. But first: Thanks, Fleur K! I probably shouldn't have been pointlessly whining but I appreciate the sympathy and the advice. I can't teach overseas as I am a New Zealander and they have a system here to discourage students from jumping the ditch and running off - if I leave the country for more than six months I will be slapped with massive interest on my student loan. The salary (wage?) of tesol teachers in Taiwan (or any of the other countries) is not high enough to justify the added money I'd have to pay back. I would go anywhere in the world for a REAL job with a decent salary but I can't leave for anything else (unless I plan on never returning). My career goals are.. no.. *were* would be more appropriate.. My career goals were simple. I just wanted to be an analyst. I wasn't even picky about what manner of analyst as I've studied quantitative and qualitative analysis, political analysis, risk analysis and threat assessment, strategic analysis... Alas - the government here changed hands from the equivalent of democrats to the equivalent of republicans and massive numbers of public servants were canned - flooding the market with trained analysts with 3+ years experience. Now it is not even possible to get a position as a graduate analyst. My degrees? Not the wisest choices possible - but I was operating in light of a world with heightened security threat rather than an economic meltdown.. I have BSc Psychology with Honors (Spec forensic psychology and neuroscience), BA German, BA Russian (plus a couple of other languages), Honors in diplomacy and international relations, Masters in Strategy and Security (Spec - China and India) Oh for a time machine to go back and study medicine instead. MOVING ON.... Precious Mudblood Fan Reader, Bythefireside and Elizabeth - You were instrumental in convincing me to start writing again. Thank you! Your words reached me on a day when I was rather down and despondent and the warm feelings you evoked persuaded me to pull out my own stories and start reading through them. There are a lot of things I didn't like in them but in lieu of rewriting everything now and putting off new updates I think I'll keep writing and fix the problems when I am finished. Also - someone contacted me today asking if i was still looking for a beta - so perhaps some of the flaws will be ironed out sooner rather than later. LadyCandi - thanks! You make me feel all warm and fuzzy! Dru - the future part is in there for two reasons. 1. because sometimes I want a break from the events at scene and it seems to 'cleanse my palate' slightly when I jump somewhere else. 2. because it is relevant to something coming up. I think i've already explained this in the chapter I posted but the future Draco and Hermione part isn't purely to confuse, although I enjoy springing it on you without warning and making you adjust your mental frame for a moment - it ties in. The intervals in which it occurs aren't important but the information is - so I just skip there whenever I feel like it. Evita, Elizabeth - Thanks! I appreciate it and i'll try to deliver. Ricc, Fan Reader and venny christayani - thank you!! You posted massive compliments and I was glowing for hours after reading them! Thank you for your well wishes too. You made my day! brightneeBee - sorry about the dialogue format issues. Also that you can't really stomach HarryxHermione in any context (there's a bit of it but not that much, considering). My characterisation may flipflop - after all these chapters were written quickly in a short period of time while I was writing my masters (or avoiding writing my masters) - and it was my first fic. I originally never intended to post it so I suppose I was writing for my own satisfaction rather than public viewing when I was writing this story. This means that it will probably need to be beta'd to death now to appease my need for logic. (So much still irritates me now and I cringed while reading it. Nevertheless other parts were still satisfying to read. i don't know.) The overall structure is a bit inconsistent because when I started this one I had no plan at all. Curiously - it became harder to write it from the moment a concrete plan coalesced in my mind. From that point it became less like dreaming while typing and more like working on a report. In fact I can correlate the time I wandered away from writing chapters with the time that I completed the ending in my mind. I think the story was like a puzzle that i was working out for myself in a slow enjoyable way as I was writing it - but once I had 'solved' it in my own mind it lost all appeal. As a result, in order to get myself back on track with writing I have had to discard some of what I planned, in order to animate myself. Like saying - ok, that is ONE solution. What is another?" Even so - I hope you enjoy some of what I have written! Necessary Sacrifices Tres tres chic - Thank you for the compliment!! You made me smile. All my stories are twisted but this one even has tentacle porn. i worry about my mind! I will be updating this one too - in fact the other night I was thinking about this story specifically and where it goes from here. That which we make for ourselves Roseemilee - Thanks! I appreciate it. I'm glad you enjoyed the selfcest/threesome! I can't kill off Grindelwald just yet, sorry - he isn't finished being a nasty prick and complicating matters. Personally, i'd rather get rid of Dumbledore since he is far more inconvenient. I can't get rid of any of them unless the story runs to that outcome naturally. Besides - the story would be over in one chapter if I just wrote - and then everyone who ticked Tom off spontaneously combusted and he lived happily ever after with himself and Caedmon. I have had a writer do that in a story i was reading. It upset me more than anything else possibly could have. I felt cheated out of an actual progression of the narrative. The first Horcrux addiena saffir - if others listed above 'made my day' with their compliments - your review actually trashed my confidence. (sigh) I suspect you may not have intended it that way. The story is like a train wreck. To have Tom win and remain evil isn't an outcome you'd like to see (I'm not actually sure how you got to that outcome since he seems pretty non-victorious to my mind). Tom getting away with things upsets you. Technically he hasn't gotten away with much yet since he's been caught and had his magic taken away to prevent him from doing anything worse. Now he has it back because Dumbledore is indeed a manipulative old bastard but he will insist upon giving people a chance to make the right choice. Either that or he anticipates their responses and choices better than they do themselves. Tom raping Mione - well.. at some point early on i toyed with some variant on this idea. This was originally going to be a TR/HG fic but I changed it because the idea didn't appeal to me as much anymore. I don't know what will happen with them in the long run here. Things would have to change before I could see anything like that happening. Your complaint that Dumbledore was a lying, manipulative jerk - he is in the originals. Didn't you notice? I loathe dumbledore. In some of my fics i manage not to demonise him, but it is difficult. i dislike him almost as much as Ginny and Ron. unneeded - thanks! Glad to be back. I'll try and update you soon! Raven - sorry I didn't update on your birthday but, to be fair, I didn't know it was your birthday and I updated soon after! Hope you had a good day anyway! Roguelle - AAAAAARGH - YES I AM!! THANK YOU!! Don't know what I can promise re future pairings. Not sure if the Hermione I have written here would combine well with the Draco constructed here. We'll see what happens with them in the future. Krysania - Pleased to be back!!! The chapter was creepy? I found it a bit stilted myself but i'd boxed myself into a corner and needed a magical out. Now the question remains - will things go back to status quo or will I take a small, medium or massive step sideways?! Captive Audience Alliel - Don't worry, I won't. I'll get to this one too!! Sorry it wasn't first on the update list!

Hi I'm alive. I apologise for making you wait an irrationally long time for updates. You see the problem is that when I started these fics i was writing my masters and was a full time student. That means that I didn't have to work; spent the entire day on the computer anyway; was highly motivated not to think about or work on my actual masters topic, yet held in place (by guilt) from actually going out and doing things. As a result, toward the end of my stressful dissertation I wrote prolifically. Most days i'd work on two or three stories in a row. Now however... I work in a badly paid, cognitively undemanding McJob for twelve hours a day (thank you recession. It's wonderful to know that attaining three bacheors, two hons and a Masters degree within six and a half years will get me about thirteen bucks an hour and sore feet.) and this leaves me exhausted, increasingly cynical and sometimes quite apathetic. They tell me that I don't have enough 'experience' and the market is flooded with those who do. I can't, however, even get unpaid job experience as I work shiftwork with no fixed hours and am essentially on call at any time day or night. So I stay where I am because it pays the rent and keeps the car running. Incidentally - if anyone can help in pointing me toward a better job anywhere in the world - i'd really love to hear about it! Seriously. If your brother's friend's second cousin knows someone who is looking, i'd be interested. You can email me at magentasouth@gmail.com. The following status updates based on my own chapter length expectations of between 7000-9000 wds Precious Mudblood - half a chapter done New Skin - quarter of a chapter done Captive Audience - quarter of a chapter done The First Horcrux - about to start new chapter after I post this message That which we Make - pending Necessary Sacrifices - pending I do have work for the next seven days straight but I will try to at least get two of PM, CA and NSk finished and posted this week.

@ Nerys - just got the weirdest sense of deja vu. You remember ages ago we were talking about my fic 'captive audience' and whether I might have taken the idea from some other story that had a cage that I might have read (probably did, even if I don't remember it and had mostly been inspired by 'caged bird' a ss/hg fic with very different... well.. very different everything really. Her 'cage' was more of a 'cell'.) ANYWAY... i'm rambling. I was just reading a new fic in Fanfiction.net and I had the weirdest sense of holy crap - thats just like what I wrote! I'm not sure whether great minds think alike <smirk> or whether whoever this is actually read my story (flattering) and was so tickled by the idea that they put their own version of it into their story (weirdly enough - also totally flattering) - or maybe there's just a limited number of ideas in the world and its entirely random - after all, the rest of the story apart from that one little section is novel - haven't read anything like it thusfar. In any event - it made me think of you somehow and our discussion last year. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5997364/3/Bound_By_Words First section: Hermione and Voldemort take a bath: ;-)

@ Atlantean_Diva - (shrug) can be. I didn't mount a structured campaign. I see what you are saying - however precious mudblood was the first story I started - the first attempt. In the beginning it *didn't* have a plot therefore; it was just an experiment - so I guess it really does seem like it just swims around with things happening. I was kind of reading it as I was writing it. I started writing while I was working (or rather *not* working on) my masters dissertation. I was writing for my own enjoyment, not for that of unknown readers since I didn't think I would actually post anything i'd written. I was writing because I had read literally EVERYTHING in the ships I particularly gravitate toward, to the point that I was running out of stuff to read, and because I was getting frustrated at waiting for updates on stories I loved by other writers. That being said - with the exception of one, every story (unfinished though they are) does have a general plotline that is (at least in my own mind) developed to completion. In case you are wondering - the one where I really do not know where it is going is necessary sacrifices. I only started it based on a plot challenge that I considered a bit implausible from the start. Its more just a bit of fun. I only know where it is going about four or five events into the future. So the problem is not a lack of direction in plot stopping me writing - its really more a lack of focussed will. Writing is more effortful than reading. There are a number of stories for me to read now (although pickings are getting thin again at the moment) so its always easy to 'just read for a while and then write later' which doesn't end up happening. Also - I just changed to a very hours intensive job after my degree and before i went into hospital i'd just moved into a new apartment a week or two before. Things happening in the real world are distracting. @ Nerys Thanks! I hope all is going well in your life. - yes I know what you mean about just not finding the will to write. For some bizarre reason I am holding back chapters right now because I want to post an update on everything at once. Anyway though.. I was just about to turn off this music and go back to the chapter i was working on before I noticed a flame review that motivated me to wander into the forum and be all defensive and bristly. ;-) I hate it when the critique is a) justified and b) something i've already defended three or four times already. <sigh>

hm.. *on* the topic of burning oneself out - i'm actually in the hospital right now. I've been here for a week already. Hopefully they'll let me go home tomorrow. (sigh) What should be great - giving me all this time to write - kind of doesnt do me any good at all since i'm so weak that I sleep most of the time. Today was the first day I was given food. being in hospital sucks.

Hi everyone I am still alive. None of my stories (poor things) will be abandoned. I just started a new job and now I am essentially working ALL the stupid bloody time. As in - seven days a week most weeks - so it's hard to find the time.. no. that's not entirely right. I could find *time* to write - I just don't have energy to write, most days. I come home and fall into bed then get up and do it all again. Also - I just moved into a new apartment a week ago and so I have no internet at home at the moment (driving me up the wall living without it!) That being said - I have read the reviews you have left me and been incredibly happy that you like my stories enough to keep checking them even if I drop off the planet for a while. Tonight I am writing on captive audience. I have a chapter of necessary sacrifices which I havent had a chance to spell/grammar check yet. Most of precious mudblood's latest chapter has been sitting there for weeks and weeks now. Also half a chapter of new skin is done. My mind keeps circling around the first horcrux though. (sigh) and now I better go and drive home (internetless cold home) and write instead of hanging about here.

It is irritating that when you want to search for a story that you haven't already read - you have NO way to filter results by anything other than pairing. Other sites offer far more comprehensive filters - in order to pick stories that are over a certain wordcount, or are complete or involve particular warnings or themes, or have only one character that you are interested in all pairings for, or genres etc etc etc. Please..please.. put a decent filter in. Searching by word is extremely primitive. Even fanfiction.net has a better filter than that.

@Salon_Kitty Thanks for your massive review. Sorry to squick you with Draco.. Draco IMO would have a better body than Harry because Harry has been starved quite a lot while growing. Harry is relatively weak in That which we make - thats just the way I set him up, his friends have betrayed him or been killed, his upbringing and schooling have been rigged to leave him intentionally weak. In The last horcrux harry is stronger, but still not as smart as Tom. In new skin - harry is formidable. There is exactly zero probability that ginny weasley will ever be placed in the enviable position of being with both Lord Voldemort and Tom Riddle. In any story. Ever. I loathe the weasleys, as you rightly discerned. Ginny may count herself lucky if she survives my stories. I haven't clarified whether Harry has dated ginny in the last horcrux.. Draco just believes that Harry's never dated anyone. Writing atm. Will reply to all reviews from everything when I get these two (three? four? not sure how many it is in the meantime) chapters up. Next up in line for update are Precious mudblood and New Skin. After that will be probably that which we make and captive audience. Unless those reading the first horcrux are more vociferously vocal than those reading necessary sacrifices or that which we make. I'm easily swayed by reviews.