JigokuDayu

I wrote this several years ago on LJ. *amuses herself way too much* I thought it might be helpful for people worried about writing a Sue or anyone who just wants a little chuckle.
How to be a Mary Sue by Jezebel Haddo
Have you always wanted to write a Mary Sue character but weren't sure how? Now you can with these 15 easy steps!
1. Prattle endlessly about their hair - Hair is the most important aspect of a person. How can we understand a character if we don't know every minute detail about their hairstyle?
2. Give your character at least two nicknames. It makes them seem more interesting that way.
3. They should be drop-dead sexy. Even if they have traits that are not commonly thought of as sexy, they should have multiple people falling in love with them for no good reason. Only evil and/ or stupid characters should be ugly and/ or fat. Cool characters should be gorgeous or at least ruggedly handsome.
4. Don't waste time developing their personality. All you need to write is that they're a cute, smart, sassy, fun-loving, badass rebel who's good at everything and is popular with the in-crowd. That makes it true to life.
5. Don't give them discernible flaws. Your character will be much cooler if they come across as more god than human.
6. Put an emphasis on music, sports, and dating. The best characters are always listening to hip rock bands, are their team's MVP, and have lots of people falling for them (though they only date equally cool people). That's what life is all about!
7. The rules of any established universe should bend for your character's awesomeness. If anyone complains, they're jealous. Laws and consequences are for losers.
8. Why not make your character a twin? Twins are really common! Every twin has at least one twin.
9. Your character has the right to treat everyone else like scum and still have said scum love and worship them. Hey, how can anyone not love their coolness?
10. If it's a girl, make her super-skinny, yet super-buxom. What's the point of having a nice rack and an incredible arse if she isn't thirty pounds underweight? And we all know that's how most girls are built. If it's a boy, he must be ripped, with a six-pack stomach and bulging biceps, but he's not too muscular, of course.
11. Employ a deus ex machina whenever possible. It's the fun way to solve problems.
12. Make blanket statements with nothing to back them up. If you say your character is friendly, I'll take your word for it, even if they never do anything to show that they're friendly.
13. Oxymorons, stereotypes, and anachronisms are your friends. Just because your character goes to Hogwarts doesn't mean they can't be immersed in Muggle pop culture. A Chinese character doesn't have to be at all Chinese as long as they're named Lee or Wong and they like egg rolls. And just because grunge rock came about in the 90's, doesn't mean someone in the 70's couldn't be listening to it.
14. It's okay to give your character rare abilities, famous relatives/friends/lovers, and a high profile job. While you're at it, why not several of each?
15. Make sure they've experienced lots of trauma, but don't bother showing them actually being affected by it. You don't want the character's coolness being watered down by things like human psychology. Emotions are only good for eliciting sympathy. As long as the character whines about the bad stuff, it will seem authentic.

I wrote this several years ago on LJ. *amuses herself way too much* I thought it might be helpful for people worried about writing a Sue or anyone who just wants a little chuckle.
How to be a Mary Sue by Jezebel Haddo
Have you always wanted to write a Mary Sue character but weren't sure how? Now you can with these 15 easy steps!
1. Prattle endlessly about their hair - Hair is the most important aspect of a person. How can we understand a character if we don't know every minute detail about their hairstyle?
2. Give your character at least two nicknames. It makes them seem more interesting that way.
3. They should be drop-dead sexy. Even if they have traits that are not commonly thought of as sexy, they should have multiple people falling in love with them for no good reason. Only evil and/ or stupid characters should be ugly and/ or fat. Cool characters should be gorgeous or at least ruggedly handsome.
4. Don't waste time developing their personality. All you need to write is that they're a cute, smart, sassy, fun-loving, badass rebel who's good at everything and is popular with the in-crowd. That makes it true to life.
5. Don't give them discernible flaws. Your character will be much cooler if they come across as more god than human.
6. Put an emphasis on music, sports, and dating. The best characters are always listening to hip rock bands, are their team's MVP, and have lots of people falling for them (though they only date equally cool people). That's what life is all about!
7. The rules of any established universe should bend for your character's awesomeness. If anyone complains, they're jealous. Laws and consequences are for losers.
8. Why not make your character a twin? Twins are really common! Every twin has at least one twin.
9. Your character has the right to treat everyone else like scum and still have said scum love and worship them. Hey, how can anyone not love their coolness?
10. If it's a girl, make her super-skinny, yet super-buxom. What's the point of having a nice rack and an incredible arse if she isn't thirty pounds underweight? And we all know that's how most girls are built. If it's a boy, he must be ripped, with a six-pack stomach and bulging biceps, but he's not too muscular, of course.
11. Employ a deus ex machina whenever possible. It's the fun way to solve problems.
12. Make blanket statements with nothing to back them up. If you say your character is friendly, I'll take your word for it, even if they never do anything to show that they're friendly.
13. Oxymorons, stereotypes, and anachronisms are your friends. Just because your character goes to Hogwarts doesn't mean they can't be immersed in Muggle pop culture. A Chinese character doesn't have to be at all Chinese as long as they're named Lee or Wong and they like egg rolls. And just because grunge rock came about in the 90's, doesn't mean someone in the 70's couldn't be listening to it.
14. It's okay to give your character rare abilities, famous relatives/friends/lovers, and a high profile job. While you're at it, why not several of each?
15. Make sure they've experienced lots of trauma, but don't bother showing them actually being affected by it. You don't want the character's coolness being watered down by things like human psychology. Emotions are only good for eliciting sympathy. As long as the character whines about the bad stuff, it will seem authentic.

I wrote this several years ago on LJ. *amuses herself way too much* I thought it might be helpful for people worried about writing a Sue or anyone who just wants a little chuckle.
How to be a Mary Sue by Jezebel Haddo
Have you always wanted to write a Mary Sue character but weren't sure how? Now you can with these 15 easy steps!
1. Prattle endlessly about their hair - Hair is the most important aspect of a person. How can we understand a character if we don't know every minute detail about their hairstyle?
2. Give your character at least two nicknames. It makes them seem more interesting that way.
3. They should be drop-dead sexy. Even if they have traits that are not commonly thought of as sexy, they should have multiple people falling in love with them for no good reason. Only evil and/ or stupid characters should be ugly and/ or fat. Cool characters should be gorgeous or at least ruggedly handsome.
4. Don't waste time developing their personality. All you need to write is that they're a cute, smart, sassy, fun-loving, badass rebel who's good at everything and is popular with the in-crowd. That makes it true to life.
5. Don't give them discernible flaws. Your character will be much cooler if they come across as more god than human.
6. Put an emphasis on music, sports, and dating. The best characters are always listening to hip rock bands, are their team's MVP, and have lots of people falling for them (though they only date equally cool people). That's what life is all about!
7. The rules of any established universe should bend for your character's awesomeness. If anyone complains, they're jealous. Laws and consequences are for losers.
8. Why not make your character a twin? Twins are really common! Every twin has at least one twin.
9. Your character has the right to treat everyone else like scum and still have said scum love and worship them. Hey, how can anyone not love their coolness?
10. If it's a girl, make her super-skinny, yet super-buxom. What's the point of having a nice rack and an incredible arse if she isn't thirty pounds underweight? And we all know that's how most girls are built. If it's a boy, he must be ripped, with a six-pack stomach and bulging biceps, but he's not too muscular, of course.
11. Employ a deus ex machina whenever possible. It's the fun way to solve problems.
12. Make blanket statements with nothing to back them up. If you say your character is friendly, I'll take your word for it, even if they never do anything to show that they're friendly.
13. Oxymorons, stereotypes, and anachronisms are your friends. Just because your character goes to Hogwarts doesn't mean they can't be immersed in Muggle pop culture. A Chinese character doesn't have to be at all Chinese as long as they're named Lee or Wong and they like egg rolls. And just because grunge rock came about in the 90's, doesn't mean someone in the 70's couldn't be listening to it.
14. It's okay to give your character rare abilities, famous relatives/friends/lovers, and a high profile job. While you're at it, why not several of each?
15. Make sure they've experienced lots of trauma, but don't bother showing them actually being affected by it. You don't want the character's coolness being watered down by things like human psychology. Emotions are only good for eliciting sympathy. As long as the character whines about the bad stuff, it will seem authentic.

I wouldn't get too down about that. A good writer knows there is always room for improvement. We progressively get better all the time. The scary writers are the ones who think they're absolutely perfect as is and explode if you say anything to contradict that.

I wrote this several years ago on LJ. *amuses herself way too much* I thought it might be helpful for people worried about writing a Sue or anyone who just wants a little chuckle.
How to be a Mary Sue by Jezebel Haddo
Have you always wanted to write a Mary Sue character but weren't sure how? Now you can with these 15 easy steps!
1. Prattle endlessly about their hair - Hair is the most important aspect of a person. How can we understand a character if we don't know every minute detail about their hairstyle?
2. Give your character at least two nicknames. It makes them seem more interesting that way.
3. They should be drop-dead sexy. Even if they have traits that are not commonly thought of as sexy, they should have multiple people falling in love with them for no good reason. Only evil and/ or stupid characters should be ugly and/ or fat. Cool characters should be gorgeous or at least ruggedly handsome.
4. Don't waste time developing their personality. All you need to write is that they're a cute, smart, sassy, fun-loving, badass rebel who's good at everything and is popular with the in-crowd. That makes it true to life.
5. Don't give them discernible flaws. Your character will be much cooler if they come across as more god than human.
6. Put an emphasis on music, sports, and dating. The best characters are always listening to hip rock bands, are their team's MVP, and have lots of people falling for them (though they only date equally cool people). That's what life is all about!
7. The rules of any established universe should bend for your character's awesomeness. If anyone complains, they're jealous. Laws and consequences are for losers.
8. Why not make your character a twin? Twins are really common! Every twin has at least one twin.
9. Your character has the right to treat everyone else like scum and still have said scum love and worship them. Hey, how can anyone not love their coolness?
10. If it's a girl, make her super-skinny, yet super-buxom. What's the point of having a nice rack and an incredible arse if she isn't thirty pounds underweight? And we all know that's how most girls are built. If it's a boy, he must be ripped, with a six-pack stomach and bulging biceps, but he's not too muscular, of course.
11. Employ a deus ex machina whenever possible. It's the fun way to solve problems.
12. Make blanket statements with nothing to back them up. If you say your character is friendly, I'll take your word for it, even if they never do anything to show that they're friendly.
13. Oxymorons, stereotypes, and anachronisms are your friends. Just because your character goes to Hogwarts doesn't mean they can't be immersed in Muggle pop culture. A Chinese character doesn't have to be at all Chinese as long as they're named Lee or Wong and they like egg rolls. And just because grunge rock came about in the 90's, doesn't mean someone in the 70's couldn't be listening to it.
14. It's okay to give your character rare abilities, famous relatives/friends/lovers, and a high profile job. While you're at it, why not several of each?
15. Make sure they've experienced lots of trauma, but don't bother showing them actually being affected by it. You don't want the character's coolness being watered down by things like human psychology. Emotions are only good for eliciting sympathy. As long as the character whines about the bad stuff, it will seem authentic.

I wrote this several years ago on LJ. *amuses herself way too much* I thought it might be helpful for people worried about writing a Sue or anyone who just wants a little chuckle.
How to be a Mary Sue by Jezebel Haddo
Have you always wanted to write a Mary Sue character but weren't sure how? Now you can with these 15 easy steps!
1. Prattle endlessly about their hair - Hair is the most important aspect of a person. How can we understand a character if we don't know every minute detail about their hairstyle?
2. Give your character at least two nicknames. It makes them seem more interesting that way.
3. They should be drop-dead sexy. Even if they have traits that are not commonly thought of as sexy, they should have multiple people falling in love with them for no good reason. Only evil and/ or stupid characters should be ugly and/ or fat. Cool characters should be gorgeous or at least ruggedly handsome.
4. Don't waste time developing their personality. All you need to write is that they're a cute, smart, sassy, fun-loving, badass rebel who's good at everything and is popular with the in-crowd. That makes it true to life.
5. Don't give them discernible flaws. Your character will be much cooler if they come across as more god than human.
6. Put an emphasis on music, sports, and dating. The best characters are always listening to hip rock bands, are their team's MVP, and have lots of people falling for them (though they only date equally cool people). That's what life is all about!
7. The rules of any established universe should bend for your character's awesomeness. If anyone complains, they're jealous. Laws and consequences are for losers.
8. Why not make your character a twin? Twins are really common! Every twin has at least one twin.
9. Your character has the right to treat everyone else like scum and still have said scum love and worship them. Hey, how can anyone not love their coolness?
10. If it's a girl, make her super-skinny, yet super-buxom. What's the point of having a nice rack and an incredible arse if she isn't thirty pounds underweight? And we all know that's how most girls are built. If it's a boy, he must be ripped, with a six-pack stomach and bulging biceps, but he's not too muscular, of course.
11. Employ a deus ex machina whenever possible. It's the fun way to solve problems.
12. Make blanket statements with nothing to back them up. If you say your character is friendly, I'll take your word for it, even if they never do anything to show that they're friendly.
13. Oxymorons, stereotypes, and anachronisms are your friends. Just because your character goes to Hogwarts doesn't mean they can't be immersed in Muggle pop culture. A Chinese character doesn't have to be at all Chinese as long as they're named Lee or Wong and they like egg rolls. And just because grunge rock came about in the 90's, doesn't mean someone in the 70's couldn't be listening to it.
14. It's okay to give your character rare abilities, famous relatives/friends/lovers, and a high profile job. While you're at it, why not several of each?
15. Make sure they've experienced lots of trauma, but don't bother showing them actually being affected by it. You don't want the character's coolness being watered down by things like human psychology. Emotions are only good for eliciting sympathy. As long as the character whines about the bad stuff, it will seem authentic.