Supersonic Bitch

Me too! Well... I tend to have somewhat strange dreams myself. One I just remembered included a little weird scene where I was in my parents' house, they were having some kind of a party, I went to an empty room ...okay, to the point: I was hermaphrodite, I took my cock off and fucked myself with it while getting huge kicks about the fact that someone could walk in. And then there are those fanfiction dreams. One rather crack!tastic one had a plotline where I was Draco (I usually happen to be Draco in my fanfiction dreams) and I was very angry because Lord Voldemort just let Lucius rot in Azkaban and the Dark Lord was very annoyed about the fact that I had failed to kill that disgusting goat-fucker Dumbledore. So, we were fighting. Voldie-honey could not touch my Dark Mark because it caused him to feel terrible agony but that effect sort of went away. We were both getting rather tired of this fighting-a-go-go and so I just offered him my hand and he touched it. You-Know-Who: "Yeah, no effect whatsoever." Me (Draco): "Okay. Fistfight, then?" Okay, I woke up after that. Damn.

In the beginning, God created Adam and Steve and they had HAWT gay sex. Meanwhile Satan (who, of course is not opposite of God but a part of God as much as God is part of Satan, because losing the unity and create opposites is a sure way to lose any chance of enlightment) ...okay, back to the Genesis: created Lilith and Internet, the latter being full of Anonymous who are a Legion. Lilith watched Adam and Steve fucking each other and wrote a story about that and posted it on Internet and thus was born SLASH. The Anonymous who are a Legion, were formerly there only for LULZ, but now they are there now also for pr0n as Lilith is a very talented writer. After that God created Eve who also watched Adam and Steve having HAWT gay sex and wrote a story about that. However, as Eve was a lesser being, she inserted herself in the story and thus was born Mary Sue. God/Satan were considering to send Eve to the land of Nod because of her bad fanfiction but as Lilith, being a benign soul, informed Satan/God about some interesting possibilities, the Divine decided to give Eve one final chance. The Anonymous (who, as you know, are a Legion) rightfully bashed Eve because of her lousy fanfiction, and so Adam decided to give Eve a sympathy fuck. As this happened in a galaxy far far away, Eve gave birth to a son named Luke and Adam changed his name to Anakin Skywalker. When Luke was twelve, he had HAWT gay sex with Anakin, Lilith wrote a fanfic about that and thus was born Skywalkercest.

The same goes for me. Especially as I just wrote that I want this one and then ...whee, I got it! *does a little happy dance*

Mine is one of the lovely works of wicked_visions from livejournal. (Oh, and praise the mods, I got the -very accurate- status description I wanted sooo much.)

As I am rather cynical person and also rather aware of J.K. Rowling's attitude towards some kinds of fanfiction based on Harry Potter, I personally think that telling about Dumbledore's sexuality that much later (especially as Sirius/Remus was practically canon until she broke both Remus' and Tonks' personalities to get them into proper heterosexual marriage), it was only rather pathetic attempt to cover her arse against people possibly thinking she has an anti-gay attitude. Maybe it is just me (being an ardent slasher) but it just feels like the most believable reason.

I'll second to that. Totally. Also the date (No, not about me going to see Wolverine: the Origin with someone with mutual romantic feelings ...never been able to resist a chance for bad puns ) ...year 2003 made me going quite "BWAHAHAA!", because there is so much fanfiction written after that and quite a lot of that kind of HP stuff that Jo probably hates the most and what I tend to refer as the better side of fanfiction (hey, it's a matter of opinion): explicit, heavy emphasis on D/s and S/M, only romantic pairings between Slytherins ...okay, the only really romantic pairing I like to write is Lucius/Draco [insert endless rant about the divine virtues of consensual Malfoycest here ...no, not having any obsessions here and now, get that Veritaserum bottle the fuck away from me!], chan, very intense pro-Pureblood attitude and so on. (Fuck, I want a status chance, I want to be "the Malfoy-obsessed ranting bastard", goddammit! ) later note: I got it! Praise the mods!

If you are writing that Draco Malfoy is bloody Veela, you are so far in bad AU that why in the name of all holy, unholy and in-between you should care about canon ages? Add vampire!Snape, alien!Harry and some fukken furries there for extra flavour.

Harmonious relationship? WTF OMG LOTR??? Consensual? Oh Gods, why? (Lucius? Evil? Oh noes, he is very much deeper character, one with many shades of grey, endless plotting, facades, intelligent, sophisticated, decadent and so beautifully manipulative. [insert endless fawning over male Malfoys here] Okay, there are cases when psycho!Lucius is very delicious too but then he has to be much younger and reckless. Older Lucius is responsible, aware of his obligations, always careful enough to cover his arse and too busy shagging Draco all the time ...eh, loving father) and okay, back to the original point, consensual Lucius/Draco is absolutely OOC and I find it very odd that someone would like to read that ...Harry is so good target for evil dubious consent... Lucius/Harry slavefics are just ...absolutely lovely.

I quite agree with this. Reads: it is good to have strict guidelines about how I am able to cover my arse.

This corrosion in my pants ...sounds like some kind of STD ...Eww!

Hmmz... maybe stitching the severed heads and dead cows together. It would look ...interesting.

Easily. Why?

Name: 6/10 Makes no sense and is very generic "iih I'm sooo cute" Avatar: 6/10 Okay, anime girls are cute but ...they are everywhere and I'm kind ov getting sick of the wapanese stuff. And there is no tentacle rape. Signature: 4/10 Colours are nice but the text is ...well, eat too much sweets and you will eventually vomit.

I am no longer allowed to doing dishes when I should be writing. Not that I'd particularly fancy doing dishes or anything related to house-cleaning.

Bloody. Fucking. Necrohell. I just can't come up with anything. They know perfectly well that I am a sick fuck, that I have been doing speed on their money quite a fucking lot, I have explained to my mother what is bukkake and quite recently when she asked what I have been doing, I told her that I have Harry Potter bound and helpless at Malfoy Manor with Draco Malfoy's semen all over his face.

^ The person above has this strange tendency to write "Tell me where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him." on walls and other public places.

The cat died and the man decided that now is the right time for his first bestiality combined with necrophilia experience.

Banned because your signature made me think about Wicca.

ENOUGH! (I just have never been good at this "resisting temptations"-thing.)

Not guilty. I just drank it. Ever been running around naked in public? (Wearing army boots, spiked collar and/or sunglasses are accepted still ...I would have felt too naked without those.)

I have Genocide in my pants.

I think that the latest one is Bellatrix Lestrange. I used to describe her as "Lunatic self-destructive Death Eaters unite!" but no more because she sort of Apparated inside my head and we shared some opinions. My first one was Wolverine (and I do adore him still). Spike from Buffy is very nice too. Oh, and the constant, explicit, adamant, totally hawt loves of mine are ...very fucking surprisingly: Lucius and Draco Malfoy. (I'm of course talking about real, aristocratic, decadent, deceitful, snarky Malfoys who are rightfully proud of their Pureblood heritage, not disgusting abominations like redeemed!Draco.) Scorpius shows some promise too if he is treated properly. And then there is a chance for absolutely delicious Malfoycest threesomes. (Trying to figure out how much time I spend ranting about Malfoycest... *syntax error*)

Lucretia by The Sisters of Mercy

WTF OMG LOTR? No one is chucking me anything? *chucks Harry Potter's bleeding non-virginal arse*

I want to lose my "virgin" status. (Actually I'd like to change it to "snarky bastard" but I don't think it will be an option.