KoKoa_B

KoKoa's Review Responses and Discussions- Original Works

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Maid for You:

 

From Tahn on January 23, 2018
 

Oh nooooes, she's gonna burn the house down, but what a way to go.

 

XD I thought I made it clear that the cooking was done…? 

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The Summoner’s Destiny:

From InBrightestDay on July 23, 2019

 

Chapter 1

This is off to an interesting start!  I can only imagine what the main character's husband is going through.  He goes to make her some breakfast or something and then when he comes back...

The VR Sensory was the latest of its kind and boasted of being the best virtual reality experience you would ever experience in gaming. They were right. It was very risky but the device connected to your brain, tricking it into thinking that what you saw and felt was real. It manipulated all of your senses really, and it was well worth the amount we spent on it.

This does seem a little familiar though...

I like that you played around with the things you do and don't know about someone when you play an MMO together.  You get to know their personalities, but things like their sex are actually very hard to guess at.  The bit with Tweety was particularly good in that regard, with J guessing that the player has to either be a girl or a sex-crazed guy...and it turns out to be a normal guy with (apparently) a normal level of self-control.

Speaking of the sex-crazed guys...

Most of them forget that actions done in the real world would register to this one, and it was really annoying to see a player jacking off.

That image made me laugh.

Death here means death in the real world. If you’re in a party, you better hope someone has a Phoenix Down to revive you before the battle ends.

There's that sense of deja vu again.  Kind of reminds me of a Specific Anime Offering.

Right now, others in the real world are being informed of the situation. Any attempt to remove the headgear will result in death for the player.

Okay, for real though, while I'm guessing this owes something to SAO (or this is a weird coincidence), I don't want it to sound like I'm criticising you or anything.  I have noticed important differences, including the fact that the players don't get to keep their avatars, but instead appear as their actual selves.  This actually raises a rather important question: how much of their characters' abilities do they retain?  I mean, I'm guessing from the title that J will still have her summoner powers, but does Tweety even have a bow anymore?

This all certainly has me curious, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Okay, wow LOL! Just so you know, every time I get an email saying that I got a review, I have a mini panic attack! 

First, I want to tell you that I literally laughed out loud at the “Specific Anime Offering”. Yes, I’m guilty of this story being loosely based off of SAO so no it wasn’t just a weird coincidence. When I finally started to binge the anime, I knew I wanted to write something on the lines of it before finishing the series but I didn’t want to use the actual characters. Talking to the mods about it, I was reminded that this has been done before (Jumanji, etc.) so I made the decision to make this Original instead of a fanfic.

The characters, at the time of the “entrapment”, do keep all of their items at the time. So, Tweety still has his bow, and J still has her abilities and summon monsters. 

One of these days I’ll come back to this story… and my other ones… >.> so thank you so much for the review! 

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2 hours ago, KoKoa_B said:

First, I want to tell you that I literally laughed out loud at the “Specific Anime Offering”. Yes, I’m guilty of this story being loosely based off of SAO so no it wasn’t just a weird coincidence. When I finally started to binge the anime, I knew I wanted to write something on the lines of it before finishing the series but I didn’t want to use the actual characters. Talking to the mods about it, I was reminded that this has been done before (Jumanji, etc.) so I made the decision to make this Original instead of a fanfic.

Oh, don’t worry, I think it absolutely works.  The “first episode,” if you will, was just very similar.  I don’t think you’re plagiarizing or anything.  As you said, Jumanji uses the same “trapped in a game” idea.

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The characters, at the time of the “entrapment”, do keep all of their items at the time. So, Tweety still has his bow, and J still has her abilities and summon monsters.

Got it.  That’s probably a very good thing, given what they’ll now no doubt be facing inside the game.

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One of these days I’ll come back to this story… and my other ones… >.> so thank you so much for the review!

And by the time you do, I might just have reviewed Chapter 2! :D  Seriously, just ask @Thundercloud; I’ve been reading his G.S.P. story veeery slowly for quite a while now.

Oh, and as for this:

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Just so you know, every time I get an email saying that I got a review, I have a mini panic attack!

I feel you.  Every time one of those review alerts pops up on anything I’ve written, it’s an “Oh God I hope I didn’t upset them...” feeling. :)

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3 hours ago, KoKoa_B said:

First, I want to tell you that I literally laughed out loud at the “Specific Anime Offering”. Yes, I’m guilty of this story being loosely based off of SAO so no it wasn’t just a weird coincidence. When I finally started to binge the anime, I knew I wanted to write something on the lines of it before finishing the series but I didn’t want to use the actual characters. Talking to the mods about it, I was reminded that this has been done before (Jumanji, etc.) so I made the decision to make this Original instead of a fanfic.

Came here since InBrightestDay ping:ed me...actually got kind of interested in your story but I think I need to watch more of the real anime show first since it is on my list to watch and don’t want to spoil it.

12 minutes ago, InBrightestDay said:

And by the time you do, I might just have reviewed Chapter 2! :D  Seriously, just ask @Thundercloud; I’ve been reading his G.S.P. story veeery slowly for quite a while now.

Considering the average length of my chapters I think you have a fairly good speed and each review seriously deliver.

12 minutes ago, InBrightestDay said:

I feel you.  Every time one of those review alerts pops up on anything I’ve written, it’s an “Oh God I hope I didn’t upset them...” feeling. :)

Lucky for you that the review alerts works...I have not got it to work so I need to log in of AFF to learn if I have a review. That is a drag.

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For Don’t Jump, Chapter “Freeze”, here’s the recipe for the Vodka Freeze (Since this is an 18+ site, I will say that I do not condone underage drinking):

1 ½ oz vodka of your choice

1 oz blue curacao

½ oz fresh lemon juice

3-4 oz Sprite (or lemon-lime flavored soda)

½ cup ice

1 lemon twist or wedge for garnish

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