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DrunkenScotsman

Study Date Review Replies & Discussion

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Again, thanks for your review, Aysha. It almost seems like you're the only one reading this story... :/

About your critique: I certainly appreciate the feedback, though I'm sorry it was so vehement. What else would I use there, though? "His brown eyes locked with her seafoam eyes" - that second use of "eyes" is redundant. I'm not gonna use "orbs" or "globes" or anything like that. So if you have a suggestion, I wouldn't mind hearing it. :D

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how about "locked on the majestic seafoam green soul of the young woman he loves so much?" but no matter how you slice it even a redundant use of the word eyes is better then the word "ones"

I swear it's like nails on a chalkboard to me!

Edited by Aysha c.c.

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Man! I had to resubmit my last review twice because of the damn mistakes my voice writing software kept making >< so frustrating!

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Ego Killer: Glad you enjoyed the story up through ch. 3. Writing Tsukune so passively is kind of a drag in some ways, but it's kinda freeing too, in that I can focus more on developing the character of the girl that he's with. It's definitely a fine balance though, and something that'll slowly shift as time passes in this series.

Aysha: Once again, thanks for your input. Since your comments touched on similar aspects as EK's, I won't beat the dead horse on that. I'm glad you enjoyed seeing the possible downsides of Tsukune becoming aggressive, at least as inner Moka imagines them.

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