BookMaggot

Review replies to "Forged Confessions"

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Well I finally got around to this! *confetti!* I know it took me forever and a decade but it has been a little busy of late and I've never been that comfortable on forums. My inner cave-man peeking its ugly head -_-

Just as a heads up: I will first reply to the newest reviews and in the coming weeks I'll reply to some of the older ones I never got around to during the course of the story. Feel free to leave comments or thoughts, as you know they are always welcome here :)

Raymy wrote on 10/02/2013:

Yep, Shunsui is locked into his anger, confusion, and shock. He's immobilized himself. He's angry at his own deficiencies for not seeing this all along, and for not knowing that Jushiro needed him to see it. He is confused about the feelings Jushiro has had to suppress, and not knowing his own feelings about it. He's shocked that the world he depended on is not what it seemed. Not knowing, Not seeing. The very antithesis to WHO HE IS. No wonder his existence is called into question, his universe collapsing. No wonder he can't get out from under the weight of it to do what he should. The bigger (prouder) they are, the harder (deeper) they fall. I'd say he's always thought pretty highly of himself and Jushiro. Their connection bolstered him, each other. He doesn't even know if the connection is still there!

When you said it like this I actually felt a little bad for Shunsui >_> well more bad than usual. When I set out to write this story I was hell bent on making sure Shunsui did come off as a bad guy but I wanted the readers as a whole to sympathise with him as well. I never enjoyed stories where one character is fundamentally a bad guy (unless that is what thet story is specifically aiming for to expand character growth :D) During the story I felt Shunsui was reacting this way not really to be an ass but because of shock. Shock can make us do stupid things, even when we really don't mean to :)

That's was really well written. If my interpretation is anything to go by, I'd say you got your intent across. Intensely satisfying.

Thank you Raymy! I am glad you enjoyed it as this particular chapter was hard to write. Not because it was difficult to explain or put together but because of the emotion and how I wanted convey exactly what Shunsui was experiencing. Your review put my mind at ease, and I thank you whole-heartedly for that ^_^

I've not had the pleasure (or torture) of writing a battle scene, but I fully intend to and the more I read, the more ideas I get. So, I'm very pleased at your description. I was able to follow the action easily (some other writer's fight scenes are quite confusing), and the dialogue made it much more enjoyable than strictly fighting.

You lucky bastard -_-. Lol. As I have stated this particular chapter took me by surprise. I've always felt Battle scenes should be written effortlessly but with that constant tension that never seems to break until that perfect moment. I really wanted to put that in there as best as I could. But ho ho was it hard! Lately I have been thinking that maybe I approached the battle scene wrong, the dialogue itself might have been the hindering point or perhaps there is some formula you need to keep in mind when writing one. I just hope that yours goes a lot better than mine! Good luck with that Raymy :D

Of course, it needed to be there to further the plot. I think your characters are still intact, no danger of losing to OOC-ness. My pride swells for Zaraki's meddling, giving him so much more depth than the manga shows. Big bear, big heart. Kyoraku needed exactly someone like him to break through his self-imposed isolation barrier. I guess we won't know until next chapter if he succeeded.

No OOCness? Thank gods >_<! I stressed myself to tears over that!

I have always seen Zaraki as a Teddy-Bear, his relartionship with Yachiru is proof alone that he cares enough to watch over people in his own way. He slipped into this role quite easily to tell you the truth and his dilalogue seemed to write itself at times. I love peg characters who fit into peg roles *squee*

Well next chapter should be up soon Raymy. Just a big thank you for the epic review! :D And sorry for keeping you waiting so long. *sigh* I am writing the next three chapters together to make sure the flow. I am almost done though! No deadline -_- I am horrible at those >_< Thanks again Ray :)

Athrun434 wrote on 10/02/2013

nice job writing the battle scenes i rekon you did a good job. its weird seeing Zaraki been concerned about someone but cant wait to see what happens next.

Thank you Athrun ^_^ if you enjoyed the battle scene then I guess I did my job okay! lol. Zaraki being nice is a little weird but it has never been that OOC for me pesonally. But I have learned that every writer sees and interprets a character different >_> The next chapter will be up soon, and I am very sorry for the wait :( But thank you very much for the review!

whitetiger9953 wrote on 11/02/2013

The battle was well done, my heart was racing through the whole thing. I could almost feel the power the two captains wielded as they clashed. If I had been present in their world, I would have been one of the weaklings passed out on the ground, probably drooling in my comatose state.

Thank you! ^_^ ^_^ And yes I'd be right next to you in my own puddle of drool, holding onto my Shunsui Plushie and grinning like an idiot. And in two hundred years time I would tell my grandchildren about it with unbridled eagerness: "I don't remember jack-sh*t but I was there dammit!"

I think you did a good job with the characters, they did not seem to be OC at all under the circumstances. It is nice to see Zaraki portrayed with the caring heart we all know he possesses. It is also good to see Shunsui so enraged over the insult of his dear friend even though he is confused over his feelings. I can only hope Zaraki was able to get through to Shunsui before our dear Jushiro passes on over a broken heart.
Thank you for the update, I look forward to the next chapter.

Again no OOCness? You people are going to send me to heaven early if you keep this up! As I said to Raymy I've always seen Zaraki as a kind soul in his own way. Yachiru is proof enough for me! And honestly I couldn't see Shunsui reacting any other way to someone insulting his Ju-chan, no matter how confused he may be >_>. You'll have to find out what happens in the next chapter when it gets posted *scratches back of head* which... um... should be soon >_>

Thanks for the wonderful review whitetigre I really appreciate it, and thank you also for your long support through the story it really means a lot :) Next chapter will follow soon! I promise ^_^

Kefira-chan wrote on 19/03/2013

please tell me there will be more chapters??? I loved this story! I even like how Kenpachi of all people is the one to knock some sense into Kyoraku, That fight scene was just epic! and I do hope things go right in the end

Kefira-chan you just made my month! The story will continue I promise, I've just been really busy lately! But never fear, I am working hard on the next chapters and they will up as soon as I am done with them. Thank you so much for the lovely review, and I hope you like the next chapter just as much! :)

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whitetiger9953 wrote on 28/04/2013

(Before reading the chapter) Yahoo!!!! An update...
(Reading chapter) Bwahahahaha. Shunsui you idiot. Bwahahahaha. (Big ass tears)....
(End of chapter) Noooo Ju-chan, please don't go!!!...
An excellent chapter as always. I agree with you, this chapter was definitely needed.
Finally Shunsui pulls his head out of his butt and comes to see his friend. It is good to see that Shunsui realizes what he felt for his dear friend, I still find it priceless that Zaraki is the one to focus him. :) I also feel you chose well with Retsu Unohana's actions, you know the NOT slapping an injured man for being a complete moron. (I however would have gave him a thorough smack-down.)
I am waiting for the next chapter as patiently as I can. (Squirms in seat). Lots of Love and keep up the good work. :)

Lol! Thanks whitetiger! ^_^

I did actually have a scene where Unohana whiped Shunusui's ass. But it unfortunately took out some of the tension so I had to pull it out. Sadly :( Shunsui is a stubborn old goat isn't he? But he makes the story interesting, so good thing he is ^_^ I shall try not to keep you waiting too long this time. Like I said the next few chapters are basically finished, I just need to check them over and they should be good to go! Thanks for the quick review whitetiger, I really, really appreciate it!

And Zaraki equals awesomness >:3

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MagicMau5 wrote on 29/04/2013

OMG so sad! Wow I really, really liked this story. Awesome! It totally made me cry, and that's the kind of story I love. :)

Awe thank you MagicMac! :) It's always a relief when someone tells me something like this. I was actually a little nervous when I posted this chapter. Simply because it's emotional but on a inverted level, and I've come to realize it's a little harder to write than most. My respect for Virginia Andrews just sky-rocetted >_> lol! But thanks again! The next chapter won't take so long to update! I promise :)

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I did actually have a scene where Unohana whiped Shunusui's ass.

Oh hilarious! I just had to say something. When I first read this, I read "Unohana wiped Shunsui's ass." I thought, WTF? Did he soil himself or something? Oh yeah, I know better, I read the chapter, but I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery.

:rofl:

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Guest whitetiger9953

whitetiger9953 wrote on 28/04/2013

Lol! Thanks whitetiger! ^_^

I did actually have a scene where Unohana whiped Shunusui's ass. But it unfortunately took out some of the tension so I had to pull it out. Sadly :( Shunsui is a stubborn old goat isn't he? But he makes the story interesting, so good thing he is ^_^ I shall try not to keep you waiting too long this time. Like I said the next few chapters are basically finished, I just need to check them over and they should be good to go! Thanks for the quick review whitetiger, I really, really appreciate it!

And Zaraki equals awesomness >:3

I love that you have set this spot up so you can reply to our comments. I must say, that is something I never thought of doing. :thumbsup: And no rush putting out the next chapter, I could wait forever . . . . . . well maybe not forever, but your chapters are always worth the wait.

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Quote

I love that you have set this spot up so you can reply to our comments. I must say, that is something I never thought of doing. :thumbsup: And no rush putting out the next chapter, I could wait forever . . . . . . well maybe not forever, but your chapters are always worth the wait.

Actually I got the idea from Raymy :) So all credit goes to her for the idea ^_^ The chapter was supposed to out almost a week ago, but I've been a bit lazy of late >_> lol! Sorry! But I hope you still enjoy it :)

Quote

Chap 8: I read this as soon as you posted, and now when I come back to read and review, you have an edit. I'm not sure where but ... am I mistaken? Did you have Shunsui think, "I love you too" at the end? Or was I imagining that? It could be from another story, you know. Anyway, Shun ultimately said, "It didn't matter anymore", I don't think it matters, either, because I like the ending. It's like you're putting off the moment when he reveals his feelings, maybe for when Jushiro is recovered? I know you're trying to worry us that the possibility of Ju dying is real, but I just can't accept that. Not from you. If you let that happen, I would have to give you twenty lashings! Looking forward to how you bring them back together, even if it's just to reconnect as best friends.

Meep! I am such a slacker of late! I completely forgot to reply to you Raymy >_<

You're memory isn't failing you, I did change it you sly old thing ;)! It was a big mistake on my part, me just uploading the wrong file (again) I've got to learn to work more orginized. I hope the ending change didn't put you off too much, and if it did I appologize profusely. If there was anything that bothered you (apart from the change) by all means let me know. In any case the next chapter is up, I don't know if it came out as good I'd hoped. But I sincerly hope you enjoy it at least and thank you very much for reviewing Raymy, I always look forward your reviews, and again sorry for the change :(

Edited by BookMaggot

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qwerty said on 19/05/2013

I was just thinking about this story today! Glad to see that you updated and the confession finally happened!! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Thank you Qwerty! I'd like to promise that the next chapter will be up soon. But we've all seen how wonderful I am with keeping promises, so let's just stick to, I'll try my best to get it out asap. :) Thanks for the review and hopefully you won't have to wait too long!

whitetiger9953 said on 19/05/2013

It did feel a tiny bit rushed, however, in situations where someone is on the verge of life and death the feel of time changes. A minute can seem like an eternity or an hour can feel like no more than a second. All that mattered was the feel of desperation Shunsui had in what he felt would be Jushiro's last moments.
This was a good chapter and thank you for updating. As for not getting the chapter up because of laziness, well, I can't really say anything because I'm procrastinating on one of my stories. So, instead I'll pray for a speedy update. :)

Thank you Whitetiger :) I'll try not to keep you waiting too long! I remember when I first started this chapter I really wanted it to feel desperate and a little hopeless. So at least I got something down good :D! As for it being rushed, I think I was perhaps a little eager to get it out, and one day I might return to clean it up when my head is clearer and perhaps edit it slightly. But for now I am happy with it. Being lazy is a FF writers middle name I think, *sigh* well it is mine in any case -_- Thanks for reviewing again Whitetiger!

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I've been gone too long, my brain isn't in FF writing gear quite yet, but it is in review responding, so let's reply while the noggin is still working :P

MagicMau5 said on 2013-04-21

Yay! Finally! :D Thanks so much. There were some problems with punctuation, but that was really all I noticed.

Lol, I would love to know the puncuation problems O_o I'm learning here dammit, English is not my first language >_< ! But thanks Magic, and sorry for dropping off, the next chappie will be up tonight (or tomorrow at the latest :) thank you for reviewing (and for your patience) and I hope the final chapter was worth the wait!

Raymy wrote on 2013-05-20

Ah, the kiss of true love brings the heartbroken back from the brink of death and despair. It's a Fairytale, but it's very ... comforting, the way you expect it to be. The build up of anxiety and fear melts away when two green eyes restore the balance. I had a big smile and sense of well-being at the end of this chapter. I'm almost tempted to say that you could leave it there but I would have to spank myself for such thoughts. I need to know what they say to each other, I need to know how their relationship changes.

I didn't feel the revelation was rushed in the long view, meaning, if I read the preceding chapter together with this one, the arrival of Shun's confession comes in time to still my squirming need for resolution. The fact that you separated the scene into two chapters for a cliffhanger, might make this one look like it happened too fast though, because the tension you built in the last isn't readily present in the reader at the beginning of the new chapter. You know what I mean? My emotions had time to calm and couldn't be built back up to the same degree with only this chapter, so I had to reread the preceding one to get there again.

I'm not a big fan of cliffhangers in general for the reasons I describe above. I'm not able to sustain the same level of interest and emotion from the cliff to the ledge below. I still want to find out what happened, but my investment is diminished. That is not the same as waiting for plot development. That can make my curiosity soar to create much excitement at the beginning of a new chapter. The key difference is probably when the scene is cut. I'm no expert as to timing and I may be guilty of my own cliffies, especially when urged on by readers who like it.

I guess, having expressed my thoughts about this to you, I've reaffirmed my position in my own mind. I'm grateful that your story made me think about it in depth. I don't want you to think there is anything wrong with the way you unveiled your pivotal moments. That is for you to decide as the writer. My enjoyment of your stories continues to be at a higher level than most. I can feel the difference in my appreciation and I only hope I can convey some of it to you, to fill your own sea.

When i first read this I was like : "You stupid ass, why they hell did you go and change the ending," then all these self doubt came crawling up, and I felt very sorry myself, and then RL hit, and then it just went down the drain >_<

But after rereading the review, and the chapter, I felt I actually understood what you meant. The dropping of emotion, and the feel of 'being left hanging' it all came down to breaking the chapter off at a time and place that was really not very tactful. The parts I had sliced out, had been very much needed I reazlied, as a ounded off 'happy' chapter, was something the reader more deserved than anything else, after all the hell they'd gone through.

I felt a little silly for feeling so... well silly XD. A large part of the chapter I cut out, because I'd been afraid it was 'too much'. Now looking back I realize it wasn't too much, it had been just right, and my own insecurities had been the problem >_<. The cliffhanger was in some ways not intentional, I had simply cut out a part I felt was too 'dramatic' and left it out. But Ironically now that I have been away for so long and reread the story I felt it was in fact needed, and will (at a later date) add it part to the end of the chapter.

For now it will hang at the beginning of the final chapter, because not matter how I tried to spin it, that part had been needed :)

So thanks Raymy for pointing it out, and for being so honest, I don't think I would have changed it had it not been for this review.

FOR ALL YOU READING THIS

The final chapter will be up tonight, or (at the latest) tomorrow :) Cross my heart and hope to die XD

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No worries BM. If you like, I can show you the punctuation probs via pm. It's mostly periods, I think. Wow, for someone learning English, you have a pretty good mastery of vocabulary and grammar! I'm excited abt the new ch.

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Guest Saiya2113

I love your work! I recently found this one and loved it! It was well paced and didn't drag or felt rushed. 

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