Sparrow

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Everything posted by Sparrow

  1. Anyone else find themselves enjoying describing clothing in their stuff? I have to admit, it’s pretty hard sometimes, especially with more intricate or unconventional items, like ones with lots of straps or gaps in them (looking at you, Ivy from SolCal!). Or where I simply don’t know how to describe something, can think of a few that have been like that. And yet I find it really good fun. I’ve even been trying to come up with wholly new designs for characters to wear, or that I might commission someone to do art of if I enjoy what I’ve come up with enough. Any of the rest of you have any similar thoughts or experiences? Anyone have any advice on how to better describe more unusual outfits, or how to come up with new ones?
  2. Sparrow

    Clothing in Stories- Descriptions and Tastes

    Yeah, true. There’s always a point when if you add anymore it’s just useless faff that’s slowing the scene down. Should probably qualify my statement from earlier by saying I do like there to be an actual point to it, not just having it there for the sake of it (mostly). Most obvious one is for characterisation purposes, though now I think about it I’m struggling to recall any stand-out examples of having done it this way in my work so far, lol. Don’t I feel silly. Anyone got some tips to pass along in that regard?
  3. Sparrow

    Clothing in Stories- Descriptions and Tastes

    Legit. See, yeah, that’s the kind of detail I like to go into. Not just describing what something is, but what it actually looks like. I feel like that’s what really gives a description life instead of just being a list. Have heard from some that it can make my writing somewhat dense as a result, but eh. I like it that way. Same principle applies, thinking about it, with characters’ whole appearances. Not just clothing, but I like trying to dig into their whole look, how their face looks, their body, the whole thing. Especially if there’s something about them that means they’d stand out from the norm. Films or games or whatever might make a go of it, but you can go so much deeper into these things with prose. Kicking myself now for never getting around for figuring out any particular ways that Miranda could’ve stood out, appearance-wise, from normal humans in the story I mentioned the other day. Anyone have any ideas, just out of curiosity? Or indeed any thoughts on describing characters’ whole appearances. Faces are definitely the one thing I struggle the most on myself, if that helps.
  4. Sparrow

    Clothing in Stories- Descriptions and Tastes

    Yep, that’s been what I’ve come across as well. Either it’s really complicated or quite plain. Your description of the Mass Effect one is pretty good though, quite a bit better than what I think I ended up coming up with in the end. I’m very glad you specified they’re anthropomorphic, I was getting the screwdriver ready to dig that mental image out before it could put down roots. But that’s a good example, and probably about as far as I’d go with something like that in my own work. Out of curiosity, though, how would you describe a demi-bra there? I had to look it up to be sure what it was, and I feel like, if I were doing it, I’d try and specify how it’s different from a regular one.
  5. Sparrow

    Clothing in Stories- Descriptions and Tastes

    Yeah, that’s usually my main recourse. Something I’ve been finding useful lately are various tumblrs that people have set up for exact this purpose. This one in particular I found the other day, already found a couple of outfits that could be of use in future. I know what you mean, a friend of mine once told me that the most common mistake he sees in fanfic, and he included my work in this, was that people seldom bother to really describe what characters look like in stuff. Since then I’ve been trying to do my best to get better at it. How much detail do you tend to go into where lingerie is concerned? Like, how far can you go with it, beyond just naming what the items are? For sure, like I said earlier that tends to be my usual MO. That being said, sometimes even having it to hand can’t really help. I definitely remember once when I was doing a Mass Effect story, trying to describe one of the space-dresses the character’s wearing (this one, I do believe it was) I had absolutely no idea how to describe the criss-crossy bits at the front in any way other than, well, that. Thinking about it, I do wonder if just sticking it into the story would’ve been the best option. God knows I have enough pics already for stuff like that. Furthermore, sometimes I want to come up with outfits of my own devising, that’s usually the hardest part cause I don’t know a screaming thing about clothing design. Best I’ve done so far, for references when commissioning art or whatever, tends to be just putting together bits and pieces of other outfits that I’ve seen.
  6. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    Yeesh. I wouldn’t have thought you’d need photographic evidence to figure that part out, but whatever works for you. Honestly, if something like this can’t kill your character for good, then I doubt anything ever could, so you might want to keep that in mind going forwards if you’ve got anything planned.
  7. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    I meant more because of how getting hit by a tank shell is gonna turn you onto a smear on the landscape no matter what size it is.
  8. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    I don’t really suppose it’d make much of a difference if it was a high-explosive or armour-piercing shell, nor how big it is. Unless it’s something massive like the 152mm from a KV-2, but then those were Soviet tanks.
  9. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    Right, right. In which case they’re probably going to be really pushing the limits of their regenerative capabilities. I mean, if it was a direct hit on them then a large portion of their body is gonna have to grow back from pink mist. If it missed and detonated say behind them, and they merely had their organs liquified by the shockwave, flesh shredded by shrapnel, and skin burned off by the explosion, they’ll have a bit more to work with. In any case, it’s really gonna hurt. What kind of shell was it?
  10. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    What, like, on people? Uhhh. Total annihilation seems most likely. Like, ‘had to be identified by dental records’ sort of thing.
  11. Sparrow

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Wow, this site’s been around for how long and nobody’s ever used this tab before? That’s almost impressive. Anyway, this thread is for anyone wanting to leave thoughts or comments concerning the story I’m starting to put up on here now, Mortuus Orbis, a work I cowrote with my good friend InBrightestDay. I hope there will be some.
  12. Sparrow

    Bunkerkampf (Mortuus Orbis Part Two)

    Chapter Eleven is up.
  13. Authors: Sparrow and InBrightestDay Title: Bunkerkampf (Mortuus Orbis Part Two) Summary: Following the events of Part One, the remaining survivors attempt to rebuild their numbers, only to face new threats in the dead city. More pressing, however, is a threat already among them, that their fragile unity may not survive. Feedback: Reviews and constructive criticism much desired. Fandom: Misc Video Games/RPGs > Crossovers Warnings: Abuse Angst Bigotry BMod BP Contro HC Hum MCD MF MiCD Minor2 Oral Racist Rape Solo Tort UST Violence Solo or chaptered story: Chaptered URL: http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600091480 Review Reply thread: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/topic/69143-mortuus-orbis-discussion-thread/
  14. Sparrow

    How do you know if people like your story?

    Beh, it’s still just more fun to go full Pelinal on them. Charge at them screaming and batter them all into a fine red paste while zapping them with your cybernetic arm cannon er, magic. Or Shout them into next week. I was never one who played it on any of the actually difficult difficulties anyway, so there was never that much pressure to cheese things like you guys.
  15. Sparrow

    How do you know if people like your story?

    Laaaame. I never had the patience for stealth-archery, either I played as a big guy Nord smashing everyone’s heads in, or an Altmer battle-mage, zap people with lightning and then stab them in the face. Much more fun.
  16. Sparrow

    How do you know if people like your story?

    Guh, because of course you did. I must be the only person who played that game as someone who just hit things with a big hammer.
  17. Sparrow

    How do you know if people like your story?

    I don’t know how useful keeping track of dragon prints are- I used to get loads of hits on pastebins I hardly showed anyone, and I realised the numbers were just getting inflated by bots combing the site.
  18. Sparrow

    Bunkerkampf (Mortuus Orbis Part Two)

    Chapter Ten is up. We’re in the endgame now.
  19. Sparrow

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    I laughed at that, because That being said, I had considered some characters in future either spending a lot of time wandering the dead city before they’re found, or people from the Bunker willingly going and staying outside for long periods of time for whatever reason. Was never really sure where it could go, though, aside from them just eventually returning. What do you think?
  20. Sparrow

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Doh, alright then. Are there any of your stories that you are pleased with?
  21. Sparrow

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    And naturally I wasn’t around for that. Figures. Lol, though, as the only other person who’s reading along with this has indicated to me, there is some interest in a spin-off of MO. If you feel interested why not give that a go, fuck it. I’ve basically set up a sandbox anyway (well, more like a sinkhole, in that every fanfic idea I have anymore gets drawn into it), so the framework is there for you. I disagree, someone at the start actually paid money to see more of the concept. God, you’re as bad as me and IBD, take a compliment, you dingus.
  22. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    Mm, washing the wound extensively, skin grafts, restricted mobility, yeah, that sounds about right with what I’d thought of already.
  23. Sparrow

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    Oh yeah, way, waaaay before my time. Oh yeah, now you mention it, I did read some of that a while ago, it was good. Meant to go back and finish it at some point, actually. Liked how you tried to come up with some in-universe explanations for how the characters can do some of the weird stuff they do, like Sonya’s kiss of death. Why’ve you done so much about her, out of curiosity? Lolno. Seriously. Your stuff wouldn’t be half as difficult to read as it is in places if it wasn’t as good as it is. You’ve inspired at least two writers of our acquaintance into doing spin-offs/sequels of your work, one of whom is in your own signature, for crying out loud. I’d give my left hand for that kind of a positive response.
  24. Sparrow

    Injuries, illnesses, and etc!

    Anyone know (preferably without pictures cause ew) how chemical burns differ from thermal ones in terms of ongoing symptoms, treatment etc?
  25. Sparrow

    Mortuus Orbis Discussion Thread

    @JayDee You know, I don’t think I ever actually watched any of the OG TMNT show that this April is ostensibly from. Or indeed consumed much of the setting’s material at all. In fact, now that I think about it I have no idea why I used April in the first place. Huh. Maybe I did know once but I just forgot it. Was about about three or four years ago that I came up with a lot of this stuff, after all. Though, you’re not far off the mark with anger. IBD, poor fellow, he got very upset when we were writing this. Mainly because I didn’t realise what he was having to go through to get into the right frame of mind, and kept poking him to add some more bits I thought he’d left out. Not my finest hour. After we finished this story, I remember actually thinking about stuff like what’s in this chapter and wondering if it was really necessary. Think I decided in the end that it was, but there was a lot of stuff (mainly related to the story’s connections to Deathstalker’s OG work this was all based on) that I thought didn’t help. Mainly all the rape-y stuff in part one, which I really wish I’d left out now, even if it did let me do the stuff with Chun-Li. It’s just a bit too grindhouse for me now. I don’t really remember if anyone did comment on this bit on there, actually. I think I only got two people commenting on it, and neither of them mentioned it in particular. Figures. As for April’s breakdown, yeah, I never considered looking up any details of real-life interrogations like this (cause I have enough trouble sleeping as it is), but I did sort of get the feeling that this is how it’d go in such a situation. I did, back in the day, though most of them were a bit too gruesome/scary for me. Nowadays I’m not so into that sort of thing, though I do recall recently poking through your take on a Deathstalker-world spinoff (nothing new under the sun) from a long time ago, even though the only character I was really interested in that was Sheeva. Her messy death in that swiftly reminded me of why I’d wanted to disengage these stories from that kink in the first place ( and why I never put in the technically correct but unpleasant detail of people voiding their bowels when they die). Sorry.